#TeamTrainwreck 15: His hair didn't have stamina, so why should his athletes?

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Michalle said:
Wow this looks to have been a rough year for Russian skating generally! Not judging the quality of the skates, which I know nothing about, just in terms of potential for medal-winning. How did this group do at Euros/Worlds?

nm, I looked it up. Not well to say the least.
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IIRC both Doronina & Ievleva bombed so bad at Euros they both were dropped from Worlds and Martinova went instead. Those were the darkest crapova years.
 
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Some names to remember for US men in juniors next season (or the next): Joseph Klein: excellent spins, gorgeous edges and movement, Ilia Malinin (Malinina's kid). Also good. They ended up 3, and 2 respectively in the novice SP (frankly I wasn't impressed with No 1 even though he had impressive jumps.) But, ones to watch over the next couple of JGP seasons. TTW heard it first.
 
Lanie said:
How can you not be invested in your favorites? THIS IS SKATING! :lol:
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To be honest, this year is easier because most of my faves aren’t competing (I’m looking at you, pairs!). I almost find it more enjoyable not having to squeeze my eyes shut on twists or arrange #BrunosSalchow prayer circles.

Jeschke said:
Blommaert outta Euros.
The toothbrush did strike again ??
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NOOOOOO! I loved their FS this year; it’d be a crime never to see it clean. Are they still in for Worlds?
 
sharsk8s said:
Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about lol?
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Short answer: No.

Long answer:

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro 1.0 = Michal Březina
Big Bro 2.0 = Jorik Hendrickx
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a couple of seasons ago)
Empress, The = Aliona Savchenko
Lil Sis 1.0 = Eliška Březinová
Lil Sis 2.0 = Loena Hendrickx
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Silver Fox = Sergei Voronov
Susie = Ksenia Stolbova (from Google Translate)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
POTS or :gallopin1-POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Can I submit a nomination during the offseason? And if I do, will it be considered?
Yes, of course. But be prepared for da bossman to shoot your suggestion down. It will help, however, to back up the nomination by citing to the Criteria, Rules, and Qualities.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medaling or retirement?
Normally, da bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything. :sneaky:

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Elena Radionova?
Da bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Richard Dornbush, Gracie Gold, and Mirai Nagasu.

Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.

Sally Skater fell on her triple flip at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes her worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have da bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
The joy of splatting.

I hope this helps. :)

:gallopin1
 
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Vagabond said:
Short answer: No.

Long answer:

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro 1.0 = Michal Březina
Big Bro 2.0 = Jorik Hendrickx
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a couple of seasons ago)
Empress, The = Aliona Savchenko
Lil Sis 1.0 = Eliška Březinová
Lil Sis 2.0 = Loena Hendrickx
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Silver Fox = Sergei Voronov
Susie = Ksenia Stolbova (from Google Translate)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
POTS or :gallopin1-POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But if you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Can I submit a nomination during the offseason? And if I do, will it be considered?
Yes, of course. But prepared for da bossman to shoot your suggestion down. It will help, however, to back up the nomination by citing to the Criteria, Rules, and Qualities.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medaling or retirement?
Normally, da bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything. :sneaky:

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Elizaveta Tuktamysheva?
Da bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Richard Dornbush, Gracie Gold, and Mirai Nagasu.

Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.

Sally Skater fell on her triple flip at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes her worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have da bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
The joy of splatting.

I hope this helps. :)

:gallopin1
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That really cleared it up, thanks. Looking forward to coming back to this thread. Currently sitting here reading the last 30 pages so ill be up to date for Euros
 
sharsk8s said:
After rereading I have to say that S/K still have not had a train wreck performance (shocker). Looking forward to seeing them at euros.
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Don't jinx them! ?‍♀?‍♀?‍♀

I've high hopes for them this season, they are one of the few teams with really good skating skills, so please let them stay on their feet!
 
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