#TeamTrainwreck 17: Just don't screw up like you always do!

alchemy void

4 more years! 4 more years!
Messages
18,699
I've been super busy lately the past couple weeks (and May/June is when I'm totally checked out of skating anyways), but a couple days ago, Mari had an instagram story and the text was "fashion is not about showing boobs and butt." :eek: I think that turban is wrapped too tight! :rofl:

(BTW, does anyone other than @Jeschke or myself care about Mari anymore in here?)
 

alchemy void

4 more years! 4 more years!
Messages
18,699
How are the odds of TM2 getting Nazarov? :D
She's saving herself for Soloviev!

Camilla and Larkyn in one week! :eek:
(((@SmallFairy )))
:wuzrobbed I'll miss both. No matter how rough the performance, both were always impeccably dressed. :glamor: I was hoping Camilla would give Euros another shot and end on a higher note, but the standard seems to be rapidly increasing, even in the first group...
 

SmallFairy

#teamtrainwreck #teamjapan
Messages
9,356
Camilla and Larkyn in one week! :eek:
(((@SmallFairy )))
:(:(:(

I'm also terrible at social media at the moment, so I havent even been able to post about Viking.
I suspected it, they way she talked last season, but still... Viking twins are skating no more:wuzrobbed
And era ended in Norwegian skating, and that's not my words, but our Fed's.

We won't have a good female skater in some years now. Our juniors are not all that, but we have promising novice girls. Comfy Balls will have to carry everything from now on.
 

SmallFairy

#teamtrainwreck #teamjapan
Messages
9,356
She's saving herself for Soloviev!



:wuzrobbed I'll miss both. No matter how rough the performance, both were always impeccably dressed. :glamor: I was hoping Camilla would give Euros another shot and end on a higher note, but the standard seems to be rapidly increasing, even in the first group...
Me too, with Anne Line coaching. Anne Line went with Camilla as coach to the Universiade last season. It turned out to be her last competition, and also one her best ever. So even if the competition wasn't that significant (though not bad) she got to go out with two great skates and PB. Will miss you so much Camilla!! (((((pink viking lady)))))sigh....
 

Vagabond

Well-Known Member
Messages
12,419
Is there anyway that we can get Sport Psychological help for the talented skaters of Team Trainwreck?
It's time to post the :COP: again with an update to the FAQ.

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

Pantheon:
Gimazetdinova, Anastasia
Hubert, Laëtitia
Miner, Ross
Sandhu, Emanuel

Fans' Auxiliary:
alchemy_void
pinky166
SmallFairy

Cheerleader:
Gabriella Papadakis :nopryde: :cheer:

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro 1.0 = Michal Březina
Big Bro 2.0 = Jorik Hendrickx
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a couple of seasons ago)
Empress, The = Aliona Savchenko
Lil Sis 1.0 = Eliška Březinová
Lil Sis 2.0 = Loena Hendrickx
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Narcissus and Echo = Guillaume Cizeron and Gabriella Papadakis
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Poster girl = Stanislava Konstantinova
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Silver Fox = Sergei Voronov
Susie = Ksenia Stolbova (from Google Translate)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season
POTS or :gallopin1-POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Can I submit a nomination during the offseason? And if I do, will it be considered?
Yes, of course. But be prepared for da bossman to shoot your suggestion down. It will help, however, to back up the nomination by citing to the Criteria, Rules, and Qualities.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medaling or retirement?
Normally, da bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything. :sneaky:

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Elena Radionova?
Da bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Richard Dornbush, Gracie Gold, and Mirai Nagasu.

What is the Pantheon?
The Pantheon is something we cooked up here in the #TTW Press Office to promote those skaters who have retired. Each member of the Pantheon must embody in his or her own way the essence of Team Trainwreck as determined by the pressman. :judge:

How do I get on the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking or campaigning for it.

Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.

Sally Skater and Peter Partner fell on their side-by-side triple flips at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes them worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have da bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
No.

Why is Gabriella Papadakis the Cheerleader?
https://youtu.be/EAJOMCx2xbQ?t=412 (Unfortunately, this is currently geoblocked in the U.S.)

Is there any way that we can get sport psychological help for the talented skaters of Team Trainwreck?
And spoil all the fun?

:gallopin1
 
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