#TeamTrainwreck 21: Ride until the fantasy ends!

Jeschke

#teamtrainwreck
Messages
37,171
Members Update

:gallopin1-Patron-Saint:
Pogorilaya, Anna

Ladies:
Glenn, Amber
Honda, Marin
Konstantinova, Stanislava
Leonova, Alena
Lim, Eunsoo
Nugumanova, Elizaveta
Peltonen, Emmi
Schott, Nicole
Tuktamysheva, Elizaveta

Men:
Aymoz, Kévin
Březina, Michal
Litvintsev, Vladimir
Nadeau, Nicolas
Pulkinen, Camden
Sadovsky, Roman
Samohin, Daniel
Yan, Han

Ice Dance:
Popova, Betina / Mozgov, Sergey Removed
Shpilevaya, Anastasia / Smirnov, Grigory
 

Jeschke

#teamtrainwreck
Messages
37,171
Farewell Betina Popova / Sergey Mozgov!
Entry: Dec 27th, 2019
Exit: Feb 17th, 2020
Career highlights: Universiade 2019, 1st; Nationals 2018, 4th; Nationals 2019

Your ride on our beloved train ends to soon. The writing was somehow on the wall but you forced your way into #TeamTrainwreck anyway. You were one of the few chosen ones getting a ticket by popular vote! In best #ttw fashion we never saw you compete again after. Your skating was refreshing and different. Even though you couldn't convince bossman of the real heartbreak factor, you succeeded in leaving your very own mark in the skating world.
You literally brought the sex into #TeamTrainwreck.
You had solid competitive programs, but we will always remember and love you for those priceless exhibitions you came up with: the jail, the marriage, the Power Rangers, the dinosaurs.
You won #ttw olympics, the Universiade, so you can leave the sport in peace. Thanks for your stunning 1st Carmen dress (ditched way too soon after one outing :drama: ), thanks for bringing the headband, thanks for your hilarious interviews and above all: thanks for being you!

До свидания!
 

Jeschke

#teamtrainwreck
Messages
37,171
:gallopin1 🆘
#bizarreofficeincidents
With the Rubleva-glasses! I am dying :rofl:
 

Michalle

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,586
Under-appreciated fact about beloved gone too soon Popova-Mozgov is that google translate turns Mozgov into Brain(s).
 

Vagabond

Well-Known Member
Messages
15,048
For those of you who have just tuned in, haven't been paying attention, or think you know better than da bossman, this is how we operate:

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

Pantheon:
Gimazetdinova, Anastasia
Hubert, Laëtitia
Miner, Ross
Sandhu, Emanuel

Fans' Auxiliary:
alchemy_void
pinky166
SmallFairy
rfisher

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro = Michal Březina
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a few of seasons ago)
Lil Sis = Eliška Březinová
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Narcissus and Echo = Guillaume Cizeron and Gabriella Papadakis
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkov = Anton Shulepov (through his marriage to Perkova)
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Poster girl = Stanislava Konstantinova
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Susie = Ksenia Stolbova (from Google Translate) [archaic]
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1) [archaic]
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2) [archaic]
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season
POTS or :gallopin1-POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?

No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medalling or retirement?
Normally, the bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything.

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Liza Tuktamysheva and Yan Han?
The bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Gracie, and Camden Pulkinen.

What is the Pantheon?
The Pantheon is something we cooked up here in the #TTW Press Office to promote those skaters who have retired. Each member of the Pantheon must embody in his or her own way the essence of Team Trainwreck as determined by the pressman.

How do I get on the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking or campaigning for it.

What is the Black Mark of #TTW?
It's our own special curse, bestowed when da bossman allows a skater to the Team based on a certain number of votes rather than his own judgment or a consensus, as required by Rule #3. The curse has been known to end skaters' careers or send their lives into a tailspin.

Sally Skater and Peter Partner tripped each other after doubling their salchows at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes them worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Why is this thread in The Trash Can, whereas From Russia with Love is in Great Skate Debate?
That's a good question.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have the bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
No.

:gallopin1
 

Jeschke

#teamtrainwreck
Messages
37,171
LaTuk performed at WTA Premier event in St. Petersburg before the finale? :rofl:
Check her IG it's priceless!
#bizarreofficeincidents

Now I need Serena Wiliams to give an opening show for Skate America, just because!
 

Vagabond

Well-Known Member
Messages
15,048
Wouldn't the Knierims qualify?
Welcome to #TTW. :)

They would if (1) he could land his jumps more often, (2) da bossman liked them more, (3) they were heartbreaking, and (4) they had not already won two medals at 4CC's. But since none of these is how things actually are, no.

:violin:
 
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Colonel Green

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,725
I believe the Knierims have too many 4CC medals, though of course the medal requirement gets waived semi-frequently.
 

clairecloutier

Well-Known Member
Messages
10,206
Hee-hee. What is the medal requirement???

Here's where the Ks are with some of the other criteria:


Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level


I submit their 2016 4CCs silver medal free skate (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RRpaAiyaiQ&t=10s); also this year's SP at Nationals.

Full-package potential has (occasionally) been there!! :bloc: :biggrinbo


2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program

Look no further than this year's Nationals SP and this year's 4CCs SP: In 2 weeks, we go from the sublime to the terrible ....


3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again

No matter how bad things have gotten, the Ks keep coming back yet again to try to land those SBS jumps! :lol:


4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

There is no doubt they qualify in this category! :biggrinbo


Note, I am not seriously invested here, but I just think there should be more pairs/ice dancers!!
 

Jeschke

#teamtrainwreck
Messages
37,171
Definitely need more pairs and ice dancers on this train!
Agree, still we are no welfare 🙅‍♂️
Wouldn't the Knierims qualify?
The curse of @AngieNikodinovLove strikes again 🆘
(2) da bossman liked them more
More? :shuffle:
The Knierims have a silver and a bronze.
And before someone asks: don't you dare to ask for Perkova-entrance!
Here's where the Ks are with some of the other criteria:
Thanks for the proposal Claire, but: DENIED! (uuuh, it's been a while; I kinda admit I missed those words :EVILLE: Oh ol' @pinky166 where are thou? :D)
 

Ka3sha

Well-Known Member
Messages
6,398
Some random thoughts on potential ice dancers:

1. The Danadians. When and why did they left the team?
2. Hawayek/Baker? What about them? They bring the entertainment, the splats and crazy exhibitions. I also love their free dance this season and know that I am not the only one :p
3. I think all of us know that there are two male trainwrecks who are ineligible for the team due to medals and titles, but are true trainwrecks in their hearts :gallopin1
(and I just happened to be a fan of both teams....)

Pairs:
1. I’d suggest the Austrians , but doubt that they are really heartbreaking..
2. No Knierims, please!
 

Wyliefan

Trying to appease the skategods
Messages
28,610
The trouble with the "heartbreaking" requirement is that there are so few hearts that count. :lol:
 

AngieNikodinovLove

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,081
Agree, still we are no welfare 🙅‍♂️

The curse of @AngieNikodinovLove strikes again 🆘

More? :shuffle:

And before someone asks: don't you dare to ask for Perkova-entrance!
Thanks for the proposal Claire, but: DENIED! (uuuh, it's been a while; I kinda admit I missed those words :EVILLE: Oh ol' @pinky166 where are thou? :D)
LOLLLLLL 😂😂😂

Hang in there @clairecloutier It won’t be an easy ride. Sometimes before I make the Knierim’s argument I must have a shot of whiskey first. It sure takes the edge off!!!
 

Dobre

Well-Known Member
Messages
6,700
2. Hawayek/Baker? What about them? They bring the entertainment, the splats and crazy exhibitions? I
I was just telling myself I should not post this, but you brought them up so clearly it is your fault...

:slinkawayHawayek & Baker only have one 4CC medal. You aren't supposed to have a win, but I would submit that that there should be an exemption to that rule during a 4CCs in an Olympic season.

I could submit an application, but I am on the wrong side of the ubermatrix with these two so that probably wouldn't be ethically fair. (I could provide insight into dates for splats, however, dating back--if my memory is correct--to juniors) & at one point on social media, there was a music or rap video? And also one with Jean Luc twerking. And Jean Luc playing a swan & Austin Powers in exhibitions. Plus all of Kaitlin's -----faces in the K&C when she doesn't love the scores.
 

AngieNikodinovLove

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,081
BTW When did Gold come off the train and why? Is it because she only competed domestically this season?

I do think your coach throwing your team jacket in the trashcan during the nationals should be lifetime achievement!
 

Ka3sha

Well-Known Member
Messages
6,398
I was just telling myself I should not post this, but you brought them up so clearly it is your fault...

:slinkawayHawayek & Baker only have one 4CC medal. You aren't supposed to have a win, but I would submit that that there should be an exemption to that rule during a 4CCs in an Olympic season.
I forgot about that :wall:
 

Jeschke

#teamtrainwreck
Messages
37,171
Some random thoughts on potential ice dancers:
The only real potential somehow in dance have Nazarova/Nikitin for me; but somehow it felt they prefer travelling by ship, which sailed.
2. Hawayek/Baker? What about them? They bring the entertainment, the splats and crazy exhibitions. I also love their free dance this season and know that I am not the only one :p
H/B is a good suggestion. I love both their programs, especially the FD (with the Nebelhorn outfits of course) :p
They fit in quite well but yeah the heartbreak factor :shuffle:
1. The Danadians. When and why did they left the team?
No real trainwrecks anymore.
3. I think all of us know that there are two male trainwrecks who are ineligible for the team due to medals and titles, but are true trainwrecks in their hearts :gallopin1
Aiev will always be our boy, always! :drama:
who is #2? Samarin has only one medal, you must have made a mistake :D
1. I’d suggest the Austrians , but doubt that they are really heartbreaking..
Ah please, we do HARD not soft crazy! 🆘
 

Jeschke

#teamtrainwreck
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