#TeamTrainwreck 17: Just don't screw up like you always do!

[SmallFairy]

And who was that actually??

Menshov. Sigh. Grandpa 1.0

 

[Ka3sha]

And you just mentioned that btw like TM2 has given singles another try?
#warned

Have never understood all that TM2 love.
TM1 was so much better

 

[alchemy void]

Have never understood all that TM2 love.
TM1 was so much better

Oh yeah, totally. TM1 was an absolutely gorgeous skater with iconic programs and occasionally some good tech. Objectively speaking, she was always far superior to TM2 (although TM2 still managed to beat her a few times).

But how can you not admire TM2’s fifteen second entry to her triple loop and different fourth-tier dance partner each season?

 

[alchemy void]

Karly made it to the avatar
Weinzierl never achieved!

FSU didn’t yet have avatars the last time Weinzierl was relevant.

Speaking of Pogo, she has retired and moved on to being “a wife and a coach”. She wanted to return and give it another chance, but her back still hurts, so she couldn’t train properly

lalalalalalala I can’t hear you.

It’s so sad she struggled so much with injury. I’m sad to think about how incredible the Frida program could have been. Her artistic voice will be missed.

 

[Mad for Skating]

Pogorilaya. But then she returned to the team after Helsinki drama


Speaking of Pogo, she has retired and moved on to being “a wife and a coach”. She wanted to return and give it another chance, but her back still hurts, so she couldn’t train properly

Oh no! Not exactly surprising, but I still will miss her so much ?

Farewell Pogo!

This hurts just to watch. I must have footage of her gorgeous clean skates as compensation.

My favorite Pogorilaya performances were by far 2016 Rostelecom Cup. Truly a goddess.

 

[SamuraiK]

So im taking a week off from work to be able to watch Worlds at ungodly am hours.. I hope the skaters amaze me or at least have entertaining meltdowns.

 

[Jeschke]

So Schott having her choreographer (Gusmeroli) on the tech panel.
Not that I expect this helping her making the FS cut

 

[SmallFairy]

So Schott having her choreographer (Gusmeroli) on the tech panel.
Not that I expect this helping her making the FS cut

Did Gusmeroli do Schott's choreo? I'm totally disappointed!

 

[SmallFairy]

Menshov. Sigh. Grandpa 1.0

When I think about it, I also sort of got Peltonen on the team. But she wasn't there for very long?

 

[Jeschke]

Did Gusmeroli do Schott's choreo? I'm totally disappointed!

Yap, the FS afaik.
Which is even more tragic, as the SP (done by Huth) is not that bad.

 

[Jeschke]

When I think about it, I also sort of got Peltonen on the team. But she wasn't there for very long?

I bet pressman is already peeing his pants in joyous expectation of -kibosh.

 

[Jeschke]

#TeamTrainwreck Worlds Preview:

Lecavelier - Everything between 32 and 12 is possible.
Schott - Based on the season, making the FS cut should be seen as success
Aymoz - I have a bad feeling here, but let's see.
Brezina - Is this the end? Will he be back? How fun it would be him gaining 2 spots with non CZE guy being able achieving minimums next season
Samohin - There will come a day...
Peng/Jin - Saitama. Final station. They will walk away with the bronze (edging out S/H).
Danes - My interest is fading...

Intruders:
Galustyan, Grm - I need them to make the cut; Grm landing 3t3t in practice, now show it in competition!
Lim - #mission2spots
JPN - I'll be relieved when it's not Kihira walking away as the best of those 3
RUS - I need Zag walking away winning this shit! #againstallodds
Selevko, Shmuratko - #missionFScut
Bychenko, Moris - #missionsurprise
Rizzo - #missionTop10
RUS - #mission3spots ; I damn wish Lazukin would have stayed with the Rachmaninov-FS, now he made it to worlds.
J/C - Them winning would be so to me
Z/E - I need the upset happening!
A/B - #missionFScut
Ice Dance - I will open some beer and enjoy the damn drama going to happen

 

[rfisher]

OMG, I can't believe I agree with your ladies and pairs preview. Except, I'd replace Z/E with T/M. Given Sui's ongoing health issues, I think Ping/Jin have a good shot at a medal (frankly I don't think she'll make it to 2022 given that they've been out due to injury more than they've been in over the past 8 years).

All I want is for Zag to medal and make all the haterez eat their words. A win would just be a bonus. A really, big bonus. You and I will be the sole voices screaming for Zag to nail it.

I have no real investment in dance, but I think the fight among the Russians, the Americans, the Canadians, and Fuser-Poli will be epic. TAT will be screaming for her team, Babs will overly emotional, Nikita and Zach will be themselves and will try to out do each other's posturing. Morozov will be caught in a quandary--he wants his team to be on the podium, but if they beat the two Russians, then how will that impact Daughter's place in the Russian hierarchy next season. The French will win and Gabby will party like a maniac afterwards.

 

[Ka3sha]

I want Chen, Kihira and Sui/Han to win. I want Sakamoto, Medvedeva and Bell to do well. Same for Kolyada and Brezina.
Really hope that Boikova/Kozlovskii and Rizzo will slay and do their best

Ice Dance - I will open some beer and enjoy the damn drama going to happen

There will be a lot of drama, that’s for sure. And may the best teams of the night(s) medal

 

[HisWeirness]

Bidar brothers in Japan (last photo):
https://www.instagram.com/p/BvJczhinp4a/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=n46xn3uluaq9

 

[SamuraiK]

#TeamTrainwreck Worlds Preview:


Brezina - Is this the end? Will he be back? How fun it would be him gaining 2 spots with non CZE guy being able achieving minimums next season

It already happened this season !! Czech puppies are a total fail.

#TeamTrainwreck Worlds Preview:
Peng/Jin - Saitama. Final station. They will walk away with the bronze (edging out S/H).

Im sooo ready for this..

#TeamTrainwreck Worlds Preview:
Grm - I need them to make the cut; Grm landing 3t3t in practice, now show it in competition!

Honestly I dont care much about her skating but she's such a nice girl , a fighter and OES at its best that I will root hard.

 

[SamuraiK]

Ok my wishes

Pairs: J&C winning, 2 chinese teams on the podium!!! And I can't believe im saying this but USA gaining back 2 spots

Men: Hanyu delivering and the whole ice rink being covered in pooh yellow. Boyang getting back on the podium. Cinderella boy solidifying his star status. Kolyada not bombing miserably just once. 2 spots for FRA and ITA. Hayrapetyan making the FS cut.

Dance: I dont want to wish bad so instead of H&D out of podium I would say I want a medal for any of C&B/W&P, G&F or even G&P. A happy puppy with 3 spots for Russia . 2 spots for ESP . N&N making the cut so I can say properly goodbye. No more judges going gaga of Disco brits.

Ladies: Sakamoto/Samodurova/Kihira podium in any order!! 2 spots for KOR . Canadian ladies not being abysmal.

 

[alchemy void]

An accurate representation of my emotional state watching Worlds. Calm, cool, and collected as always!

Honestly I dont care much about her skating but she's such a nice girl , a fighter and OES at its best that I will root hard.

 

[alchemy void]

@SmallFairy nice strategy with the split screen avatar. I'm impressed; may have to adopt that technique sometime soon this week.

 

[Vagabond]

I am home from my mission to New York. Thank you for your patience, everyone!

And now, for those of you who need to know, here is how we operate here:

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

Pantheon:
Gimazetdinova, Anastasia
Hubert, Laëtitia
Miner, Ross
Sandhu, Emanuel

Fans' Auxiliary:
alchemy_void
pinky166
SmallFairy

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro 1.0 = Michal Březina
Big Bro 2.0 = Jorik Hendrickx
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a couple of seasons ago)
Empress, The = Aliona Savchenko
Lil Sis 1.0 = Eliška Březinová
Lil Sis 2.0 = Loena Hendrickx
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Narcissus and Echo = Guillaume Cizeron and Gabriella Papadakis
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Poster girl = Stanislava Konstantinova
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Silver Fox = Sergei Voronov
Susie = Ksenia Stolbova (from Google Translate)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season
POTS or -POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Can I submit a nomination during the offseason? And if I do, will it be considered?
Yes, of course. But be prepared for da bossman to shoot your suggestion down. It will help, however, to back up the nomination by citing to the Criteria, Rules, and Qualities.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medaling or retirement?
Normally, da bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything.

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Elena Radionova?
Da bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Richard Dornbush, Gracie Gold, and Mirai Nagasu.

What is the Pantheon?
The Pantheon is something we cooked up here in the #TTW Press Office to promote those skaters who have retired. Each member of the Pantheon must embody in his or her own way the essence of Team Trainwreck as determined by the pressman.

How do I get on the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking or campaigning for it.

Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.

Sally Skater and Peter Partner fell on their side-by-side triple flips at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes them worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have da bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
No.

Why is this thread in The Trash Can, whereas From Russia with Love is in Great Skate Debate?
That's a good question.

 

[SmallFairy]

Samohin actually has three pet names: Danny Salmon, Poster Boy and Blackwolfwhitewolf! He is the only one so far

 

[SmallFairy]

My wishes for worlds:
Podium for Sofia the 2nd and My Girl Kaori.
Shoma not injuring himself. Skateboard boy Nathan playing it cool as ever. Both skating clean.
Cutie Tanaka skating like 4CC (away from the boards!)
Guilliaume being hot. (He will be!)
FS for a whole bunch of OES, including Daša.
No Vikings to cheer for, so Nordic power it is.
Zag and Med having fun, relaxing, killing it.
Fentz being at his best given all his injuries.
Rizzo slaying!

Can't wait!

 

[SmallFairy]

KnC so beautiful!
My guys are ready
My guys flirting
Misha haven't given up on his train ticket just yet
My girls having fun
For Vice
Happy camper
Nordic power
Give-me-all-your-money! Nooooow!
Slay you two!

 

[Jeschke]

KnC so beautiful!

This looks totally awesome

Misha haven't given up on his train ticket just yet

Link not working.

For Vice

This is so good. Nam's face = bossman's face

 

[SmallFairy]

Misha trying desperately to get on the train was videos of him singleing his axel over and over in practice. Now the fan has taken it down

 

[Jeschke]

Just leaving this in here

a couple of days ago article in Süddeutsche: https://www.sueddeutsche.de/sport/eiskunstlauf-junge-huepfer-1.4369786
I didn't know, that Schott injured herself last summer while working on 3A

Well, wasn't there talk back once, Zhang is going for 3a?

 

[Ka3sha]

In some other news: St Petersburg Cup Final, Makar Ignatov is leading after the SP with 96 points
He landed 4S and 4T-3T
https://youtu.be/ulTENsaON-Y

 

[aliceanne]

That's a harsh thread title. It sounds like someone is giving up on the team!

 

[rfisher]

That's a harsh thread title. It sounds like someone is giving up on the team!

You have to watch the Simpson episode from which it came. We're ever hopeful, but not completely delusional about our favorites. They aren't on #TTW for nothing.

 

[Vagabond]

That's a harsh thread title. It sounds like someone is giving up on the team!

We are resigned but hopeful.