#TeamTrainwreck 22: Every dark cloud has a pewter lining!

[Jeschke]

Members

-Patron-Saint:
Pogorilaya, Anna

Ladies:
Glenn, Amber
Honda, Marin
Konstantinova, Stanislava
Leonova, Alena
Lim, Eunsoo
Nugumanova, Elizaveta
Peltonen, Emmi
Schott, Nicole
Tuktamysheva, Elizaveta

Men:
Aymoz, Kévin
Březina, Michal
Litvintsev, Vladimir
Nadeau, Nicolas
Pulkinen, Camden
Sadovsky, Roman
Samohin, Daniel
Yan, Han

Ice Dance:
Shpilevaya, Anastasia / Smirnov, Grigory

 

[Jeschke]

No pairs, ouch.
But we all know, Panfilova just has to deliver one senior FS with doubles only and she is in
And well, Khuda is intruding so much for dance, I could put her on the list already

Let's hope for a season, safe and sound, full of and !

 

[Finnice]

I so hope that TTW will have some possibilities to splat out this season! After watching live athletics last week, I so miss the excitement of who is going to mess up mostly.
(IRL I do want everybody to succes.)

 

[Vagabond]

It's been a while since we had to worry about piddling things like Rules around here, but this is how we operate. @Jeschke take note!

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair
13) Bizarre salchows

Pantheon:
Gimazetdinova, Anastasia
Hubert, Laëtitia
Miner, Ross
Sandhu, Emanuel

Fans' Auxiliary:
alchemy_void
pinky166
SmallFairy
rfisher

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro = Michal Březina
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a few of seasons ago)
Lil Sis = Eliška Březinová
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Narcissus and Echo = Guillaume Cizeron and Gabriella Papadakis
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkov = Anton Shulepov (through his marriage to Perkova)
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Poster girl = Stanislava Konstantinova
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season
POTS or -POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medalling or retirement?
Normally, the bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything.

Why are Alena Leonova, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva, and Han Yan on the List?
The bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Amber Glenn, Camden Pulkinen, and Gracie Gold.

What is the Pantheon?
The Pantheon is something we cooked up here in the #TTW Press Office to promote those skaters who have retired. Each member of the Pantheon must embody in his or her own way the essence of Team Trainwreck as determined by the pressman.

How do I get on the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking or campaigning for it.

What is the Black Mark of #TTW?
It's our own special curse, bestowed when da bossman allows a skater to the Team based on a certain number of votes rather than his own judgment or a consensus, as required by Rule #3. The curse has been known to end skaters' careers or send their lives into a tailspin.

Sally Skater and Peter Partner tripped each other after doubling their salchows at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes them worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Why is this thread in The Trash Can, whereas From Russia with Love is in Great Skate Debate?
That's a good question.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have the bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
No.

 

[Jeschke]

How did @rfisher made it to the auxiliary?
Is it just her cursing every loved one or what did I miss?

 

[Vagabond]

How did @rfisher made it to the auxiliary?
Is it just her cursing every loved one or what did I miss?

www.fsuniverse.net/forum/threads/teamtrainwreck-18-wrap-your-turban-tight.105897/page-15#post-5632685

OMG We are starting a student food pantry. The Dean was going over the protocol for distributing items and said, "this is likely going to be a trainwreck at first." Before I could think better, 'I love trainwrecks" popped out of my mouth. Then I started The Dean, who is easily flustered anyway, just gaped at me. I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard, waving my hand at him to continue. As we walked out, I told him, it's too complicated to explain.

 

[rfisher]

How did @rfisher made it to the auxiliary?
Is it just her cursing every loved one or what did I miss?

That should count for something.

 

[Jeschke]

That should count for something.

If you'll bring Briukhanov down with Polina#8423058 we 2 need to have a word!

 

[rfisher]

If you'll bring Briukhanov down with Polina#8423058 we 2 need to have a word!

"You gotta see it before it happens.
Believe before it happens
Receive before it happens
You got to know, it's gonna happen"

 

[Jeschke]

Just found this in an old thread, dated november 2013.

I think Nationals will be her swan song like it will be for many skaters around the World (Flat, Zhang, U.S, Leonova possibly, Russia).

#missionnationals2020

 

[Vagabond]

Consider the source.

 

[Ka3sha]

Very #ttw appropriate interview with Liza about shopping only

«Редко случается, что иду и трачу 200 тыс. рублей». Туктамышева приобрела наряд для жеребьевки чемпионата России - 20 августа 2020 - Sport24

Новый выпуск программы «Фигурка».

sport24.ru

And video version

Шопинг с Лизой Туктамышевой - в чем пойти на жеребьевку ЧР? / Фигурка

Друзья, наконец-то мы дождались нового выпуска программы «Фигурка» с Эммой Гаджиевой! В этот раз не будет привычного вам формата интервью, мы решили пойти на...

www.youtube.com

 

[her grace]

Pewter wins!

 

[SmallFairy]

Something for me from test skates

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEHgiRLIXB7/?igshid=1jzwcmr4b4f64

 

[Finnice]

I was at the wine shop today, and saw a white chardonay called Bossman.
You can guess what I thought.

 

[Jeschke]

Something for me from test skates

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEHgiRLIXB7/?igshid=1jzwcmr4b4f64

Love his badass look!

 

[Jeschke]

Correct version.

I was at the wine shop today, and saw a white chardonay called Bossman.
You can guess what I thought.

...bought for olympic qualifier at Nebelhorn 2021!

 

[alchemy void]

Irina Lux's insta stories are a definite highlight on my feed these days.

 

[Finnice]

Correct version.

...bought for olympic qualifier at Nebelhorn 2021!

Oh I did not know I will come there. Plan done.

 

[Jeschke]

So Tsurskaya is the new Rozanov?
So entertaining.

Polina Tsurskaya joins Eteri's coaching team:

Login • Instagram

Welcome back to Instagram. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world.

www.instagram.com

#MIMOS

 

[muffinplus]

So Tsurskaya is the new Rozanov?
So entertaining.

#MIMOS

No because she won't have that stupid Hot Serguei nickname...

 

[rfisher]

But he is hot.

 

[Jeschke]

Toth presenting 3a at test event (splat though).
I won't give up on Schott!

 

[Jeschke]

Breathe @alchemy void
I already can see @Hanna fangirling so hard!

Mariah Bell
LP: ABBA Medley

(((Mikhailova)))

 

[alchemy void]

Awesome!

I wonder what ABBA songs we're going to get.

 

[kwanfan1818]

If Tsurskaya can help Tutberidze's skaters to jump with that loft and power,

 

[Ka3sha]

So Bunny girl is now an ABBA girl

 

[Colonel Green]

Awesome!

I wonder what ABBA songs we're going to get.

She named "Dancing Queen" and "The Winner Takes It All"; there may be others.

 

[alchemy void]

She named "Dancing Queen" and "The Winner Takes It All"; there may be others.

I'm politicking for Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)

 

[Jeschke]

I'm politicking for Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)

I double that.
I am a sucker for the chorus of 'Lay all your love on me' and 'Thank you for the music', but as we won't get those for sure, I am so in for 'Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!'