#TeamTrainwreck 20: Large Caliber Weapon

[Dobre]

Popova & Mozgov are out of Russian Nationals. How are they not on Team Trainwreck, again?

 

[Vagabond]

Popova & Mozgov are out of Russian Nationals. How are they not on Team Trainwreck, again?

Can you state their case for them, with reference to the Criteria, Rules, and Qualities?

 

[Ka3sha]

Popova & Mozgov are out of Russian Nationals. How are they not on Team Trainwreck, again?

Because boss doesn’t like them enough

 

[Dobre]

Because boss doesn’t like them enough

I wish this meant they were not a trainwreck. Instead, it just means that I can't blame @Jeschke for them being one.

 

[Vagabond]

And as a little early bossman christmas present, straight outta jail with the little help of our ol' buddy Vik:
MESS 2019/20 Shortlist Pt.1

Our boy (spin splat)
Our boy (jump splat)
Elvis

(All placements subject to change )

 

[Ka3sha]

Can you state their case for them, with reference to the Criteria, Rules, and Qualities?

As if that interview was not enough

#TeamTrainwreck 17: Just don't screw up like you always do!

Bossman catch-up: - Double pregnancy :love: - Kovtun retirement :( (I loved his farewell-words); I really feel for him, I have developed a soft spot for him since his 'Iron Sky' FS - love the music choices of Wang/Wang (as if that matters anyway, as we won't see this programs :drama:) -...

www.fsuniverse.net

Or this one

#TeamTrainwreck 16: We do hard, not crazy!

Kovtun out of Worlds :gallopin1 That was the come back that wasn't. At least he got another Russian title.

www.fsuniverse.net

Or all of this

Login • Instagram

Welcome back to Instagram. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world.

www.instagram.com

Or their presence on Mess Shortlist, Part 1

 

[Vagabond]

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level NO
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program NO
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again NO (as reflected by the fact that they haven't broken even da bossman's heart)
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones



It's very difficult for ice dancers to meet all of these Criteria, especially when they have never even qualified for Euros, Worlds, or the Olympics. Plus, they don't break da bossman's heart.

Conclusion: They're OUT!!!!

Nice try, though, especially since you folks picked the moment of opportunity while da bossman is tending to other matters.

 

[casken]

I gave up trying to figure out the rules for this thing once I found out someone as vanilla as Ross Miner was on the list mostly becuase Jeschke just likes him.

 

[Dobre]

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level

Popova & Mozgov defeated last year's 9th place finishers from Europeans twice this season. Actually, I think have defeated last year's 9th place finishers from Europeans in every international head-to-head between these two teams, including last year's Universiade which P&M won. (Naturally did not defeat them at Russian Nationals, as that would have been very non-trainwrecky last season). Also P&M's results are certainly comparable to Soucisse & Firus who have a 4CC silver medal. Oh, yes, and also defeated last year's 5th place finishers from the GPF at Russian Nationals on lovely choo choo day.

Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program.

2019 Nepela
2018 Golden Spin


Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again

Currently in grave danger of helping to head up the GP alternate list for the 2nd or 3rd season in a row. Also P&M's second season--in only 4 years--of missing Russian Nationals. Did I mention they missed a prime opportunity to qualify for Europeans last year? Missed Golden Spin this year, which was--for the second year in a row--a prime opportunity to earn a top 24 score. Were ignored for the Rostelecom host spot despite being at the top of said list this season in favor of other lovely Team Trainwreck team.


Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Messy? Check. Also splatting evident at at least three notable events (Russian Cup qualifier in their opening season when they could have gone to Nationals, Golden Spin last year when they could have earned their way onto the SB list, Nepela this year when ditto).

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
Check.

2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
Check

3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
Am quite certain at least Ka3sha & Alchemy Void are in agreement that P&M are certifiably trainwrecky.

4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
Check.

5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
Check.

6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
Check.

7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
Check.

8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.
Totally not a problem.

1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
No, but there was some broughhaha including the coach when Y&P split and Popova was the "other woman" who "stole" Mozgov from Yanovskaya in the rumor mill. Then Mozgov had Ilinykh and Yanovskaya both sticking their tongues out at him on social media. Plus apparently there was some gossip about him being mixed up in the whole Ilinykh & Katsalapov split because perhaps P&M do not have enough drama on their own?

2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
I'm just going to throw all these together & say that handcuffs, prison/wedding dress/dinosaur costumes, PG13 lifts, Betina drama, kissing-your-partner-while-skating-to-50-Shades-of-Gray-as-a-junior-in-what-is-supposed-to-be-a-waltz, and that ghastly dangly thing he was wearing for last year's FD, plus his splits choreo slide in Bohemian Rhapsody, and this season's Cabaret...really, P&M are overqualfied here.

4) Mule kick
N/A

5) Being Uzbek/Russian
Check

6) last name called Schott


7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
Check & check. See the second #1 above.

 

[Vagabond]

Entire post

This is a very good attempt.

Unfortunately, you make a better argument for Evdokimova & Bazin than for Popova & Mozgov.

6) last name called Schott

Daddy is not going to be happy when he sees this.

 

[Mad for Skating]

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level

Popova & Mozgov defeated last year's 9th place finishers from Europeans twice this season. Actually, I think have defeated last year's 9th place finishers from Europeans in every international head-to-head between these two teams, including last year's Universiade which P&M won. (Naturally did not defeat them at Russian Nationals, as that would have been very non-trainwrecky last season). Also P&M's results are certainly comparable to Soucisse & Firus who have a 4CC silver medal. Oh, yes, and also defeated last year's 5th place finishers from the GPF at Russian Nationals on lovely choo choo day.

Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program.

2019 Nepela
2018 Golden Spin


Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again

Currently in grave danger of helping to head up the GP alternate list for the 2nd or 3rd season in a row. Also P&M's second season--in only 4 years--of missing Russian Nationals. Did I mention they missed a prime opportunity to qualify for Europeans last year? Missed Golden Spin this year, which was--for the second year in a row--a prime opportunity to earn a top 24 score. Were ignored for the Rostelecom host spot despite being at the top of said list this season in favor of other lovely Team Trainwreck team.


Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Messy? Check. Also splatting evident at at least three notable events (Russian Cup qualifier in their opening season when they could have gone to Nationals, Golden Spin last year when they could have earned their way onto the SB list, Nepela this year when ditto).

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
Check.

2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
Check

3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
Am quite certain at least Ka3sha & Alchemy Void are in agreement that P&M are certifiably trainwrecky.

4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
Check.

5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
Check.

6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
Check.

7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
Check.

8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.
Totally not a problem.

1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
No, but there was some broughhaha including the coach when Y&P split and Popova was the "other woman" who "stole" Mozgov from Yanovskaya in the rumor mill. Then Mozgov had Ilinykh and Yanovskaya both sticking their tongues out at him on social media. Plus apparently there was some gossip about him being mixed up in the whole Ilinykh & Katsalapov split because perhaps P&M do not have enough drama on their own?

2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
I'm just going to throw all these together & say that handcuffs, prison/wedding dress/dinosaur costumes, PG13 lifts, Betina drama, kissing-your-partner-while-skating-to-50-Shades-of-Gray-as-a-junior-in-what-is-supposed-to-be-a-waltz, and that ghastly dangly thing he was wearing for last year's FD, plus his splits choreo slide in Bohemian Rhapsody, and this season's Cabaret...really, P&M are overqualfied here.

4) Mule kick
N/A

5) Being Uzbek/Russian
Check

6) last name called Schott


7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
Check & check. See the second #1 above.

This is a seriously good petition! If @Jeschke denies this, we impeach the bossman!
I mean, it’s not like Schott is any more of a contender for World medals than Popova/Mozgov are. Let’s be real here.

 

[taz'smum]

Conclusion: They're OUT!!!!

This is a seriously good petition! If @Jeschke denies this, we impeach the bossman!
I mean, it’s not like Schott is any more of a contender for World medals than Popova/Mozgov are. Let’s be real here.

Hmm, let's start building the bossman impeachment case whilst he's away!

 

[Laney]

This is a seriously good petition! If @Jeschke denies this, we impeach the bossman!
I mean, it’s not like Schott is any more of a contender for World medals than Popova/Mozgov are. Let’s be real here.

Tsss, we all know that Kleenex girl has a triple Axel as her large caliber weapon. It's just that she doesn't need it Whereas Popova/Mozgov don't have anything like this. The costumes don't count. Just saying

 

[Mad for Skating]

Hmm, let's start building the bossman impeachment case whilst he's away!

Failure to interpret the law consistently, clear bias towards the select few members of his oligarchy, abuse of separation of powers. A good old case of totalitarianism.

(Okay, I had to study for an exam on government policy a few weeks ago).

 

[taz'smum]

Failure to interpret the law consistently, clear bias towards the select few members of his oligarchy, abuse of separation of powers. A good old case of totalitarianism.

(Okay, I had to study for an exam on government policy a few weeks ago).

Gotta see how bossman defends these (accurate & damning) allegations
Or is the case against him so compelling that we impeach him without even hearing his defense?

 

[Mad for Skating]

Gotta see how bossman defends these (accurate & damning) allegations
Or is the case against him so compelling that we impeach him without even hearing his defense?

His defense will do him no good - we just need a majority vote in the House of Trainwreck Representatives and a 2/3 vote in the Trainwreck Senate. Shall we hold a referendum to confirm it?

 

[taz'smum]

His defense will do him no good - we just need a majority vote in the House of Trainwreck Representatives and a 2/3 vote in the Trainwreck Senate. Shall we hold a referendum to confirm it?

Hmm, depends on who is in the Trainwreck Senate?
I nominate myself for the Senate...

 

[Mad for Skating]

Hmm, depends on who is in the Trainwreck Senate?
I nominate myself for the Senate...

I would nominate myself for the senate too but I’m not over the age of 35
Ah, no problem, I think everyone in this thread is aware of bossman’s tyranny and will vote in favor of impeachment.

 

[taz'smum]

I would nominate myself for the senate too but

I second your nomination

 

[Mad for Skating]

I second your nomination

Thank you for your support! I didn’t even have to pull out my campaign signs!

 

[taz'smum]

Thank you for your support! I didn’t even have to pull out my campaign signs!

ooh, slow down, that is just a nomination, you are far from being elected to the Senate yet

 

[Mad for Skating]

ooh, slow down, that is just a nomination, you are far from being elected to the Senate yet

True, but with the support of Mama Tiff, I have already proven I have good political connections

 

[taz'smum]

True, but with the support of Mama Tiff, I have already proven I have good political connections

@SycophantsRUs

 

[Laney]

And in the End of the year, da bossman stays what he is: da bossman of Team Trainwreck Same as in the countries you live in But I feel for you. Must be hard to live under so many strange presidents/Bosses so you try to impreach him at least here...

 

[Mad for Skating]

@SycophantsRUs

I am very clever at politicking - move over, TAT!

And in the End of the year, da bossman stays what he is: da bossman of Team Trainwreck Same as in the countries you live in But I feel for you. Must be hard to live under so many strange presidents/Bosses so you try to impreach him at least here...

Lol, it’s definitely not the most pleasant political situation in the US right now, but at least the next election is less than a year away. Bossman, on the other hand, has no limits to how many terms he can serve...so we must instill some democracy.

 

[rfisher]

if i recall correctly, a coup is attempted every time he goes on vacation, That's how Radionova and Tukt got onto the train.

 

[Vagabond]

@Mad for Skating, your time would be better spent on your own blog.

Da bossman is a man with an unimpeachable character.

 

[her grace]

It's very difficult for ice dancers to meet all of these Criteria, especially when they have never even qualified for Euros, Worlds, or the Olympics.

And yet Shpilevaya, Anastasia / Smirnov, Grigory are on the team.


For reference:

Popova/Mozgov
-4 GP appearances, top finish 6th
-5 Challenger medals
-winner of TTW alt worlds (Universiade)

Shpilevaya/Smirnov
-1 GP appearance, top finish 6th
-no challenger medals
-couldn't even medal at Universiade (5th)

 

[Vagabond]

And yet Shpilevaya, Anastasia / Smirnov, Grigory are on the team.

I will have to get back to you on that one.

In the meantime, you may find this FAQ useful.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medalling or retirement?
Normally, the bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything.

...As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, Pressman will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, @her grace. This mobile will self-destruct in five seconds.

 

[her grace]

I will have to get back to you on that one.

Ha ha. I was implying that we could have more dance teams, not fewer.