For those of you who have just tuned in, have forgotten, or still haven't gotten over
in Fiji, we here at the #TTW will make another effort to bring you up to speed. (And I am fully expecting that some of you will break my heart over and over again for reasons that are well known to many of you.)
Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones
Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.
Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair
FAQ:
I thought that there weren't any rules and da bossman did whatever he pleased.
SmallFairy said:
There are rules, but sometimes they don't even make sense to us old timers, and pressman is trying to juggle it all when bossman's feelings go over the top
The most important rule: is there heartbreak???
(Sometimes there's not consensus, and bossman proves why he's bossman, but sometimes there's consensus among everybody else but him, and he has to obey us. Mo-ha-ha!
)
https://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/th...ation-pyeongchang.101944/page-59#post-5194897
If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But if you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.
Can I submit a nomination during the offseason? And if I do, will it be considered?
Yes, of course. But prepared for da bossman to shoot your suggestion down.
Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.
What about Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Elena Radionova?
Da bossman has his delusions, and we humor hiim.
What about Maria Stavtiskaya?
What about her?
Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.
Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team,
e.g., Ross Miner, Richard Dornbush, Gracie Gold, and Mirai Nagasu.
Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.
Sally Skater fell on her triple flip at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes her worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.
Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.
What's the Pantheon?
It's an accolade handled in our Press Department to honor retired skaters who, in their own special way, embody what #TeamTrainwreck is all about. Current members are Laëtitia Hubert, Emanuel Sandhu, Anastasia Gimazetdinova, and Ross Miner.
What's the Fans' Auxiliary?
It's reserved for frequent posters here who engage in fandom's equivalent of epic splats. The current members are
@pinky166,
@SmallFairy, and
@alchemy void.
How do I get onto the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking.
) with this bizarre early challenger, and already members of our train are skating, here is the new thread.
Liza will rise like a phoenix. Possibly with a wardrobe malfunction. 
that should become a regular weekly episode! 
And who the hell is Vakhnov? Wock_Jabber is following him, why the hell am I clueless? 
)
