#TeamTrainwreck 20: Large Caliber Weapon

[Jeschke]

-Patron-Saint:
Pogorilaya, Anna

Ladies:
Galustyan, Anastasiya
Honda, Marin
Konstantinova, Stanislava
Leonova, Alena
Lim, Eunsoo
Nugumanova, Elizaveta
Schott, Nicole
Tuktamysheva, Elizaveta

Men:
Aliev, Dmitri
Aymoz, Kévin
Litvintsev, Vladimir
Nadeau, Nicolas
Pulkinen, Camden
Sadovsky, Roman
Samohin, Daniel
Yan, Han

Pairs:
Peng, Cheng / Jin, Yang

Ice Dance:
Shpilevaya, Anastasia / Smirnov, Grigory

 

[Jeschke]

We waited one year for the big guns to fire!
Now bring the fight Tuk!

 

[Jeschke]

Wishes for JPN and RUS nationals?
(besides bikini-mud-wrestling between Tarasova and Tutberidze)

 

[Laney]

Wishes for JPN and RUS nationals?
(besides bikini-mud-wrestling between Tarasova and Tutberidze)

You wish to see TAT in a bikini?

 

[Ka3sha]

RusNats wishes:
1. Kostornaia, Tuktamysheva, Medvedeva on the podium Gubanova in top-6, so she would make National team and get funding. Two redemption skates and two genial smiles from Stasia
2. SinKats over S/B. Don’t care a lot about #3 and #4 , but skating gods, pretty please, let it be not Morozov/Bagin.
3. Ignatov with at least bronze medal
4. Tarasova/Morozov for gold, Boikova/Kozlovskii for silver, Pavliuchenko/Khodykin for bronze.

JapanNats wishes:
1. Kihira, Miyahara, Sakomoto for Worlds, but hope that Wakaba will have two great skates and will get a chance to compete at 4CC.
2. Happy Shoma in K&C

 

[Jeschke]

1. Kostornaia, Tuktamysheva, Medvedeva on the podium

(((@Ka3sha )))

 

[Ka3sha]

(((@Ka3sha )))

No need for ((( ))), it’s just wishes, not predictions or most realistic scenario

 

[Jeschke]

Boss wishes:

RUS
-trio-deluxe on podium!
Kostornaia winning, non-3A's-podium, non-Med-podium, Aurora-Games-Stasia, surprise-Nugu
I need T/M win and P/K making the team, E/K and P/R Top6
I can't help wanting Morozov/Bagin in #3, just for the drama


JPN:
Tomono making any Worlds
Marin making 4CC's at least.

 

[rfisher]

My Russian wishes: every skater/team skates their personal best and the chips fall where they may. Japanese Dai wins.

 

[Jeschke]

****ING DAVE KÖTTING ENTERED FOR NATIONALS!

 

[SmallFairy]

Boss beat me to it! KÖTTING! He better show up... So many dissapointments....

BTW love our new thread title. Finally! And she got more weapons than ever these days.

 

[SmallFairy]

For Russian Nationals... Did you notice Panfilova/Rylov will skate seniors!
I want Liza to land her quad/triple. I want Our Boy to make Euros team.

For Japanese nationals:
Shoma to be back in kick ass form! (I'm not holding my breath )
Dai to look stellar, in his last competition in singles.
KAORI FOR NAT CHAMP!!!

 

[starrynight]

Liza lands her quads and triple axels and wins Nationals and the camera pans to Eteri's face, then Tarasova's face and then Plushenko's face. That's my wish.

 

[Ka3sha]

RUS
Kostornaia winning, non-3A's-podium, non-Med-podium,

Is it your way to say that you want Large Caliber Weapon on the podium but are too afraid of jinxing her?

 

[rfisher]

#NotPolina also made the roster. I feared they wouldn't. Just skate well and medal in junior nationals and make the world team.

 

[Jeschke]

Is it your way to say that you want Large Caliber Weapon on the podium but are too afraid of jinxing her?

Lalalalalala, no clue what you are talking about, lalalalalala.

#NotPolina also made the roster. I feared they wouldn't. Just skate well and medal in junior nationals and make the world team.

I like the little fierce girl so much and i love Ialin and that's exactly why I feel really bad wanting other teams making it more this season

 

[SamuraiK]

Any link to RUS and JPN nationals rosters pretty please???

 

[Jeschke]

Any link to RUS and JPN nationals rosters pretty please???

RUS

https://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/threads/2020-russian-nationals-dec-24-29-krasnoyarsk.106476/#post-5709235

 

[Vagabond]

For da bossman and everyone else who still has not learned, here is how we roll:

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

Pantheon:
Gimazetdinova, Anastasia
Hubert, Laëtitia
Miner, Ross
Sandhu, Emanuel

Fans' Auxiliary:
alchemy_void
pinky166
SmallFairy
rfisher

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro = Michal Březina
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a couple of seasons ago)
Lil Sis = Eliška Březinová
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Narcissus and Echo = Guillaume Cizeron and Gabriella Papadakis
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkov = Anton Shulepov (through his marriage to Perkova)
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Poster girl = Stanislava Konstantinova
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Susie = Ksenia Stolbova (from Google Translate)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Vice = alchemy_void
= Daniel Samohin

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season
POTS or -POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medalling or retirement?
Normally, the bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything.

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Liza Tuktamysheva and Yan Han?
The bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Mirai Nagasu, and Camden Pulkinen.

What is the Pantheon?
The Pantheon is something we cooked up here in the #TTW Press Office to promote those skaters who have retired. Each member of the Pantheon must embody in his or her own way the essence of Team Trainwreck as determined by the pressman.

How do I get on the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking or campaigning for it.

Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.

Sally Skater and Peter Partner fell on their side-by-side triple flips at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes them worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Why is this thread in The Trash Can, whereas From Russia with Love is in Great Skate Debate?
That's a good question.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have the bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
No.

 

[SamuraiK]

RUS

https://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/threads/2020-russian-nationals-dec-24-29-krasnoyarsk.106476/#post-5709235

I should have mentioned external link (do not have board pass lol). My mistake. Thanks anyway boss

 

[Mad for Skating]

Russian Nats wishes:
1. Kostornaia wins
2. Empress brings all her large caliber weapons and pushes one of the babies off the podium.
3. Stepanova/Bukin win.
4. Tiff and Jon get bronze.
5. Voronov finally delivers at Nationals and gets himself a ticket to Euros.
6. Boikova/Kozlovskii win pairs gold.
7. Efimova/Korovin skate clean and don't get robbed.
8. Clean or nearly clean performances for beautiful PosterGirl Stasia.

 

[happycamper2554]

Russian nationals wishes

S/K over S/B
P/M win bronze and dont splat
K/I over P/R
T/M take back the rightful crown
TUK, Med and Kosternaya podium*
Lauzukin, Aliev and idc

* I know I'm delusional

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

When did GG get the ole heave-ho?

She is still competing... Just not an international yet this season.

 

[quartz]

Japan Nationals wish - KAORI for GOLD.
I'm using all my wishes for just her.

 

[RoseRed]

Russian Nationals:

1. Kostornaya, Shcherabakova and Medvedeva podium (more realistically, GPF podium order with Med 4th)
2. Liza lands the quad
3. Good skates/placements for Gubanova, Nugumanova and Sinitsyna
4. Our Boy keeps his head and makes Euros (preferably top 2 so he's got a good chance of Worlds too)
5. 3rd Euros spot (after Our Boy + Boss's boy) to Ignatov or Mozalev (I'm okay with Voronov too)
6. Don't really care between SinKats and Step/Bukin - I like both RDs and neither FD that much (S/B's FD is better though), but 3rd dance spot not to Morozov/Bagin
7. Mishina/Galiamov on the podium (w/ two of T/M, B/K and P/K)

 

[Vagabond]

When did GG get the ole heave-ho?

The midseason kibosh was on November 25, 2019.

She is still competing... Just not an international yet this season.

Nu?

 

[alchemy void]

****ING DAVE KÖTTING ENTERED FOR NATIONALS!

This bitch better show up! He's teased me too many times before, yet I still always come back for more.

 

[SidelineSkater]

That bitch better show up! He's teased me too many times before, yet I still always come back for more.

Too long for for a TTW Thread title - but many of our mantras nonetheless.

 

[Amy L]

I should have mentioned external link (do not have board pass lol). My mistake. Thanks anyway boss

This is the offical entry list (in Russian):

Ростелеком - Чемпионат России 2020

Список участников

www.fsrussia.ru

 

[SamuraiK]

This is the offical entry list (in Russian):

Ростелеком - Чемпионат России 2020

Список участников

www.fsrussia.ru

Thank you