#TeamTrainwreck 12: Done in by a World of Fun!

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Jeschke

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Season-End-Members-List:

After lots of debating, and lots of pressman' crying over the loss of Han Yan we finally made our decisions. To keep him entertained, the Perkova-Rule slayed again with a double-entry :summer:
We all know, both won't win major shit anymore besides FBMA Trophy in Abu Dhabi.


:gallopin1-Patron-Saint:
Pogorilaya, Anna

Ladies:
Gold, Gracie *
Konstantinova, Stanislava
Lecavelier, Laurine
Leonova, Alena
Park, So-Youn
Peltonen, Emmi Removed
Radionova, Elena New
Sakhanovich, Serafima
Schott, Nicole
Tuktamysheva, Elizaveta New

Men:
Aliev, Dmitri
Aymoz, Kévin
Brezina, Michal Removed
Miner, Ross Removed
Nadeau, Nicolas
Sadovsky, Roman
Samohin, Daniel
Yan, Han Removed

Pairs:
Ilyushechkina, Lubov / Moscovitch, Dylan Removed
James, Vanessa / Ciprès, Morgan Removed
Peng, Cheng / Jin, Yang

Ice Dance:
Fournier Beaudry, Laurence / Sorensen, Nikolaj
Stavitskaya, Maria

Watch List:
Ladies: Galustyan, Anastasia
Men: Orzel, Conrad
Pairs: Cain, Ashley / LeDuc, Timothy
Dance: Hurtado, Sara / Khaliavin, Kirill

---

* Restrictions:
If Gracie Gold does not skate any domestic or international competition until US Nationals '19, she will be removed from the team.

The Season-End-List ist ultimate and incontrovertible until the new season kicks off at Aug 22nd.
 
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Farewell Emmi Peltonen!
Entry: Dec 8th, 2017
Exodus: April 1st, 2018
Career highlights: FBMA Trophy 2017/2018, 1st; Euros 2018, 9th

You were lucky enough to sneak into the train in a soft and drunken moment of da bossman, shortly after Schott secured her olympic ticket. Unfortunately you could not manage to last long. Whilst your Instagram is spot on, your skating lacks a lot. We have the drama costumes and make-up, but no drama on ice. The most :drama: after your inclusion was even brought by Zzzzh-Lindfors bitching after Olympics selection. Nontheless we want to take a short moment to remember your -POTS-shortlist-performance, which got you in. Being a double FBMA-Trophy champion was a big thing, but does not help you to remain. Vice pressed the fall hatch, final station it is. We are happy to see and hear of you in classic Scandinavian-intruder-way alongside King Oddvoll and the Gjersem/Helgesson-lovechild.

Näkemelin!
 
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Farewell Michal Brezina!
Entry: Nov 8th, 2015
Exodus: April 1st, 2018
Career highlights: Euros 2013, 3rd; Worlds 2010/2011, 4th; GP USA 2011, 1st; Universiade 2017, 7th

You were the last man standing! The final male member of the first minute bites the dust. In traditional Czech manner you entered the scene with lots of promise, a great look and no nerves. Finally stepping out of the HoF-member-Verner-shaddow you managed to get your one and only bronze at Euros 2013. A statement of your dedication towards the team. Years of fooling @rfisher for better days followed, but we are very happy you could manage to bow out on a high note in Milano.
We appreciate your off-ice-efforts in the final years to stay as a true team member. Also your classic hair-do will be missed! We are relieved, that Oberstdorf has offered you more than Fajfr's red pants and you found your happily-ever-after there in Mari's BFF there.
We want to close with a sweet reminder of the glorious past and are already looking forward to your Czech successor on the train, whoever of Bidar, Belohradsky 1 or 2 it might be.

Sbohem!
 
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Farewell Han Yan!
Entry: March 11th, 2017
Exodus: April 1st, 2018
Career highlights: Junior Worlds 2012, 1st; 4CC's 2013/2015/2016, 3rd; GP CHN 2013, 1st

Your way was predetermined already in those early years. As the new hope of the Chinese Skating Federation you had a marvelous start in your career and reached the junior crown 2012. Winning your first GP event entered over Kovtun, Kozuka, Ten, Dornbush and Amodio, can now, years later, be seen as a sign though. Besides some struggles and crashes you could manage to win three 4CC'S medal and thus only be entered into #TeamTrainwreck by the Perkova-Rule. Being the first person given that honour, you where overwhelmed in your acceptance speech and reached out to every heartbreak skater with too much lucky medals. With splats, crazy hair and cats you knew how to please us all those years.
It's such a shame to let you go, our train will miss the accompanying HanYanFanVan on its route. Pressman is still in total denial and will need a long time to recover from this loss.

再见!
 
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Farewell Ross Miner!
Entry: Feb 22nd, 2016
Exodus: April 1st, 2018
Career highlights: 4CC's 2012, 3rd; Nationals 2013/2018, 2nd; Worlds 2011, 11th

Already in your first competitive moments, it was undeniable, where your future path was leading to: #TeamTrainwreck!
JGPF 2009 bossman fell in love and we had an awesome ride together. We had joyous first years, making it to Worlds and winning your one and only 4CC's medal 2012. In the following seasons we stood by you in numerous defeats and disappointments, questioning, what the heck was going on? You always remained loyal to your coaches despite missing the Olympics and numerous World teams. Standing in silver position at Nationals 2016 and 2017 after the SP and missing the podium in the end showed your dedication to the train. When all people lost hope and did not think of you at all for Pyeongchang Olympics, bossman and the entire train did still not lose faith. With tears in our eyes we watched you rise to the occasion and had those 2 stunning skates at Nationals.
We do not want to lament what happened after, we are just happy you could finish your career on such a high note! A lot of sportsmen and -women can only dream of that.
You were such a good, down to earth boy. Watching figure skating will never be the same again without you.
A pleasure it was #BossMiner! You will be missed so much! My man! Until the bitter end! :drama::wuzrobbed

Goodbye!
 
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Farewell Liubov Ilyushechkina / Dylan Moscovitch!
Entry: Nov 10th, 2015 (Liubov); Feb 24th, 2016 (Dylan)
Exodus: April 1st, 2018
Career highlights: 4CC's 2017, 3rd; Worlds 2017, 6th; Worlds 2016, 7th

To our great delight and big surprise two of our favourite pair skaters found together in the post-Olypmpic off-season. Immediately we opened our heart to the new partnership, as both have been seen wrong-treated in their previous teams. The security in landing sbs solo triples disappeared almost simultaneously as you entered #TeamTrainwreck. You made a great team, as most of the times, when Liubov for once stood on her feet, Dylan messed up. In the 2017 season you managed to keep our hopes up with medalling at 4CC's and finishing worlds as best Canadian team heading into the olympic season. Your schmaltzy 'When you say you love me' will remain your true masterpiece, though never skated fully to its potential. When finally getting citizenship granted in september, we were so happy for you and did see you already on Pyeongchang ice. Unfortunately your final season was cursed and in best -manner, a current Top6-worlds-team, was left at home after a disappointing pewter medal at nationals. A redemption medal/skate at your final competition was denied either
We cannot thank you enough for the joy you brought, the looks you provided and the heartbreak you created.

Goodbye!
 
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Farewell Vanessa James / Morgan Ciprès!
Entry: Jan 31st, 2016
Exodus: April 1st, 2018
Career highlights: Olympics 2018, 5th; Worlds 2018, 3rd; Euros 2017, 3rd; Universiade 2015, 3rd

Pornies, you were amongst the expected ones to leave the train on their own terms this year and in great :gallopin1-manner you did postpone it until the very last event of the season. In a funny way, your #TeamTrainwreck inclusion did mark a turning point in your career. It did not turn downhill but upwards. We will always be grateful for the :gallopin1-classic-knc at Cup of Tyrol 2016, in times where Tursy-POTS was not even fathered. Even after the switch to Fontana/Zimmerman we still had the hope, your constant drama will go on forever. Unfortunately it did not and you additionally lost your suicidal #splatordie attitude. Nontheless we supported you until the end, couldn't stop :wall: after this years Euros and were very :encore: for you in Milano.
In our hearts, even if you have left the train, we will always cheer for you and are more than grateful for bringing the sex over all those years. Being a role model for the #ttw newbies, we cannot thank you enough.

Au revoir!
 
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alchemy void said:
And by the way, what a depressing roster this would be without Tuk or Radio. :eek: Their inclusion was absolutely necessary!
Click to expand...
On this sad, inevitable day, the headline: Tuk and Rad went on to illustrious careers as #TTW notables… :drama:

They do add the necessary star power! :glamor::glamor:
 
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Jeschke said:
Farewell Vanessa James / Morgan Ciprès!
Entry: Jan 31st, 2016
Exodus: April 1st, 2018
Career highlights: Olympics 2018, 5th; Worlds 2018, 3rd; Euros 2017, 3rd; Universiade 2015, 3rd

Pornies, you were amongst the expected ones to leave the train on their own terms this year and in great :gallopin1-manner you did postpone it until the very last event of the season. In a funny way, your #TeamTrainwreck inclusion did mark a turning point in your career. It did not turn downhill but upwards. We will always be grateful for the :gallopin1-classic-knc at Cup of Tyrol 2016, in times where Tursy-POTS was not even fathered. Even after the switch to Fontana/Zimmerman we still had the hope, your constant drama will go on forever. Unfortunately it did not and you additionally lost your suicidal #splatordie attitude. Nontheless we supported you until the end, couldn't stop :wall: after this years Euros and were very :encore: for you in Milano.
In our hearts, even if you have left the train, we will always cheer for you and are more than grateful for bringing the sex over all those years. Being a role model for the #ttw newbies, we cannot thank you enough.

Au revoir!
Click to expand...
Did I miss their retirement announcement?
 
Jeschke said:
Entire Post
Click to expand...
:rofl::rofl::rofl: You've outdone yourself this time! ;)

rfisher said:
Awww. What a touching tribute.

Pressman must have really been drunk to let Rad and Tuk slip in. :lol: Not that I' m complaining as they truely embody the #TTW spirit
Click to expand...
allezfred said:
Why is Brezina gone? He is planning to compete next season.....
Click to expand...

Weve3 said:
:gallopin1:gallopin1 Say it ain't so! :fragile: Crushed! :wuzrobbed
Click to expand...
:pAPRIL FOOLS!!!!! :p
​
:giggle:

The thoughtful reader would have gone back and checked the Criteria, Rules, and Qualities, particularly as highlighted in bold:

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

And let's not ignore the FAQs:

I thought that there weren't any rules and da bossman did whatever he pleased
SmallFairy said:
There are rules, but sometimes they don't even make sense to us old timers, and pressman is trying to juggle it all when bossman's feelings go over the top:lol:

The most important rule: is there heartbreak??? :gallopin1 (Sometimes there's not consensus, and bossman proves why he's bossman, but sometimes there's consensus among everybody else but him, and he has to obey us. Mo-ha-ha! :EVILLE:)
Click to expand...
https://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/th...ation-pyeongchang.101944/page-59#post-5194897

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But if you make the right kind of posts or can link to videos showing you fangirling any of the Italian competitors at World this season, you can make it it into the Fans' Auxiliary. @levineismine

Can I submit a nomination during the offseason or while Daddy is not paying attention? And if I do, will it be considered?
Yes, of course.

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Elena Radionova?
Are they Perkova? No, they're just headcases with hardware. :blah:

What about Maria Stavtiskaya?
What about her?

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Richard Dornbush, Gracie Gold, and Mirai Nagasu.

Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.

Sally Skater fell on her triple flip at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes her worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

How do I get onto the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking.

:gallopin1

Applying the foregoing, we find:

:gallopin1-Patron-Saint:
Pogorilaya, Anna

Ladies:
Gold, Gracie *
Konstantinova, Stanislava
Lecavelier, Laurine
Leonova, Alena
Park, So-Youn
Sakhanovich, Serafima
Schott, Nicole

Men:
Aliev, Dmitri
Aymoz, Kévin
Nadeau, Nicolas
Sadovsky, Roman
Samohin, Daniel

Pairs:
Peng, Cheng / Jin, Yang

Ice Dance:
Fournier Beaudry, Laurence / Sorensen, Nikolaj

Watch List:
Ladies: Galustyan, Anastasia
Men: Orzel, Conrad
Pairs: Cain, Ashley / LeDuc, Timothy
Dance: Hurtado, Sara / Khaliavin, Kirill

Fans' Auxiliary:
pinky166
SmallFairy

:saint:
 
Drats! Foiled again! :40beers:

Read the entire Criteria, Rules and Qualities?! :COP: Surely you jest?! :saint: Why, that would be like expecting someone to read the entire instructions manual before assembling a Hoover vacuum cleaner or hooking up their DVR player. Almost unheard of! :p
 
Ah pressman, I knew you would crawl into the idea, it was all an april's fool :rofl:

But let's face it: if I am ready to let go Miner, even without an official retirement announcement, you have to ****ing deal with hair and mumu!
Either way, it would be kinda boring for you in here without them, admit!
 
:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Reading Radio and Tuk in the roster felt like when a TV show starts to decline in the ratings and the "brilliant mind execs" desperately bring new characters/plots that deviate so much from the initial premise that once made said show succesful in the first place therefore producing a big sad mess that drops the ratings even more. Has TTW jumped shark??:unsure: Time will tell :p


I blame this on too much wine during holy week for Boss and Vice.:D

#perkovaruleoverused
#tukisnotperkova
 
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