Of course one can. But one can also have compassion for someone without invalidating the feelings of others who do not.
And vice versa. Seriously, nothing is going to be solved in this thread. Everyone brings to the conversation what they are bringing to the conversation. And conversations of this nature are going on everywhere these days, hopefully for the most part not involving a situation where someone committed suicide. There are a lot of emotions going on here. The skating culture needs to change and the larger culture needs to change, and both have needed to for a very long time.
One of the best things to do is to stop and examine our own emotions, our own experiences, and our own understanding instead of grandstanding. Fingerpointing, bandwagoning, and aggressively targeting posters who are expressing views that differ from the majority who are posting here doesn't change anything and won't solve anything.
I'm with
@Spun Silver and I appreciate her honesty in sharing the fact that she sincerely wishes John Coughlin did not do anything horribly egregious, but that above all, she wants the truth to come out regardless of what the truth reveals. I feel the same way. I recognize and acknowledge that SafeSport is set up to try and do everything they can to protect victims of abuse. I also realize that they are not in a position themselves to continue the investigation. Still, a thorough and complete investigation needs to happen. Nothing should be swept under the rug simply because Coughlin is no longer alive. There is still evidence and others who are alive to provide testimony. As well, people do have some knowledge of what John Coughlin said about the allegations, even though he's not here to offer anything further. I sincerely hope (however long it may take) that investigative reporters working with a skilled and enterprising filmmaker might be able to impartially research and document what happened (while protecting the identity of the accusers). Whatever the truth is, it needs to be fully revealed. SafeSport should provide their findings to whoever is interested in carrying forward a full and thorough investigation.
I also believe that SafeSport does need to learn (as do we all) from what happened, and to make improvements. ISU and US fed also need to examine and address myriad problems that exist in skating, but I'm not holding my breath for that to happen. Institutions, organizations, and investigative bodies alike can always improve and do better. Human beings can always look for ways to improve and be better tomorrow than they were yesterday. As well, examine our own lives and how we treat each other in intimate relationships, professional relationships, and on social media. Whoever is perfect, cast the first stone.