he could pretend to say something half intelligent maybe?
This. He doesn't try to pretend.
Even when he knows his opinion "isn't fashionable".
You never have a day without... : "Going to the bathroom. Too direct? At least it's honest..."
Your translation is not direct enough. He said: "go to the toilet" and that his nightmare is that he didn't manage to get there on time. (before pissing his pants)
I think he likes to speak about toilets and about his tears, because he wants to be just an ordinary human being. It seems he likes to help other people to overcome their weakness. He can say he was so anxious when he started to play in theatre, that he had to "change his diapers". Yet he keeps doing what he does.
As for Romeo... I think he understands, that he can't be good Romeo with his behaviour. (as we remember, he doesn't want to change his behaviour)
Yagudin - about Marinin:
I adore smart people with whom I can have plenty to talk about. Actually, athletes are not really talkative... This is why I always respected Maxim: you can chat on any subject with him. We are like a battery: plus and minus. He is an example of class, education, wide reading, cleverness and so on. I'm the complete opposite.
When he is asked to finish a phrase, he bravely does it - almost without thinking. Yet... it is beautiful, that he doesn't care about words. He just doesn't want his wife to argue with him, but he says she may do whatever she wants, because he forgets what they were talking about. It seems... he is a fantastically quiet creature, actually. No wonder Lambiel hugs him again and again. No wonder people ask him: "How many sons do you have?"
His page in Instagram informs, that he is an atheist. (He is a master of anti-PR!)
I just trust my eyes:
such love and happiness are a rare thing