#TeamTrainwreck 22: Every dark cloud has a pewter lining!

[Jeschke]

Folks, MIMOS race is on.
Please share your thoughts on potential candidates.

We might not go for 10 in total, as it would include meh choices but looking forward to your input

 

[mjb52]

Can I ask to be reminded what MIMOS is without being banned from the thread??

 

[Vagabond]

Can I ask to be reminded what MIMOS is without being banned from the thread??

Haven't you been reading my press releases?

Members' List:

-Patron-Saint:
Pogorilaya, Anna

Ladies:
Glenn, Amber
Honda, Marin
Konstantinova, Stanislava
Leonova, Alena
Lim, Eunsoo
Nugumanova, Elizaveta
Peltonen, Emmi
Schott, Nicole
Tuktamysheva, Elizaveta

Men:
Aymoz, Kévin
Březina, Michal
Ignatov, Makar
Litvintsev, Vladimir
Nadeau, Nicolas
Pulkinen, Camden
Sadovsky, Roman
Samohin, Daniel
Yan, Han

Ice Dance:
Khudaiberdieva, Elizaveta / Bazin, Egor
Shpilevaya, Anastasia / Smirnov, Grigory

Press Office Notes:

1) Deniss Vasiljevs has been nominated, but boss and vice haven't come to a decision yet.
2) Boss and vice said back in December that a kibosh was coming "some time next year." Let's hope that means not before the Grand Prix Final.

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) Last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off-ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre choreography
12) Hair
13) Bizarre salchows
14) Penchant for dying in the second half of the program

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro = Michal Březina
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a few of seasons ago)
Lil Sis = Eliška Březinová
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Narcissus and Echo = Guillaume Cizeron and Gabriella Papadakis
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkov = Anton Shulepov (through his marriage to Perkova)
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Poster girl = Stanislava Konstantinova
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Unknown kid = Mark Kondratiuk
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season
POTS or -POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medalling or retirement?
Normally, the bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything.

Why are Alena Leonova, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva, and Han Yan on the List?
The bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Amber Glenn, Camden Pulkinen, and Gracie Gold.

Isn't this "Team" just a haven for the bossman's favorites?
No. If it were, Alexander Samarin would have been on it years ago.

What is the Black Mark of #TTW?
It's our own special curse, bestowed when the bossman allows a skater to the Team based on a certain number of votes rather than his own judgment or a consensus, as required by Rule #3. The curse has been known to end skaters' careers or send their lives into a tailspin.

Sally Skater and Peter Partner tripped each other after doubling their salchows at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes them worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Do Junior World medals disqualify a skater from consideration?
No. If anything, they add to the luster of a #TTW candidacy.

Why is this thread in The Trash Can, whereas From Russia with Love is in Great Skate Debate?
We care about the company we keep.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have the bossman and vice.

Can someone explain what this thread is about/for?
No.

Can I ask to be reminded what MIMOS is without being banned from the thread?

 

[rfisher]

Hmmmm....Danni G is obvious

Who else: I'd say Basil the Great if we still consider him a minion to his grandparents.

 

[Jeschke]

Can I ask to be reminded what MIMOS is without being banned from the thread??

Warning#1

 

[taz'smum]

Can I ask to be reminded what MIMOS is without being banned from the thread??

Yep, can I be reminded too?
(Seriously I can't remember )

 

[Jeschke]

Yep, can I be reminded too?
(Seriously I can't remember )

MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season.
Glorious winners of the past include the Tsareva-minion and the Tutberidze-minion (the young)!.

 

[Colonel Green]

Social distancing in the KnCs has greatly reduced minion visibility this year.

I guess one should note Rozanov for his bold bid to escape minion status and subsequent, spectacular flameout.

 

[Jeschke]

Hmmmm....Danni G is obvious

Who else: I'd say Basil the Great if we still consider him a minion to his grandparents.

Of course Basil the Great is, otherwise Vice would go mental.
He'd like to do have Minchuk in the race too.

Other candidates:
Murad the Original (Volchkova)
Mikhailov (Plushy) - Boss-Do
Dudakov (Tutberidze) - @taz'smum -Do
Pitkeev (Ivanova) - @Ka3sha -Do
Nazarov (Samokhin) -
Rozanov (Plushy) Everyone's-Do
Glinka (Rukavicin) - Just because

I guess there are more minions out there in dance and pairs, my head is confused.
Ilinykh is out due to short record.

 

[mjb52]

@Vagabond are you familiar with the phrase tl;dr

It's def hard to compete with Rozanov this year. I will throw in Durnev for being part of the team that is closest to my heart .

Minchuk is a really interesting case, does he count? I think he is on a slightly different level.

 

[Vagabond]

@Vagabond are you familiar with the phrase tl;dr

Let me condense it for you.

Glossary
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season

FAQ
Can I ask to be reminded what MIMOS is without being banned from the thread?

 

[rfisher]

Voronov as Trankov's minion. Who would have ever predicted that one?

 

[Jeschke]

Voronov as Trankov's minion. Who would have ever predicted that one?

I thought Trankov is the Mozer/Zoueva-minion.
Does this make Voronov the minion of the minion?
The degradation

 

[Colonel Green]

I guess there are more minions out there in dance and pairs, my head is confused.

For both discipline and nationality diversity, I'll throw in Gadbois minion Sam Chouinard, who can be seen and/or heard enthusiastically bellowing in every BTS footage or virtual performance given by an I.A.M. dance team this season.

 

[Jeschke]

For both discipline and nationality diversity, I'll throw in Gadbois minion Sam Chouinard, who can be seen and/or heard enthusiastically bellowing in every BTS footage or virtual performance given by an I.A.M. dance team this season.

I need video or shriek proof to consider.

 

[Colonel Green]

I need video or shriek proof to consider.

You didn't pay to watch the I.A.M. Live event? For shame!

 

[Vagabond]

We need videos for the poll.

 

[rfisher]

I thought Trankov is the Mozer/Zoueva-minion.
Does this make Voronov the minion of the minion?
The degradation

Being a minion^2 is a major achievement.

 

[Karen-W]

I thought La Tuk was being elevated to Patron Saint status after her Worlds silver - and her general fabulousness.

 

[Colonel Green]

Is Adam Rippon a Raf minion now?

 

[Jeschke]

I thought La Tuk was being elevated to Patron Saint status after her Worlds silver - and her general fabulousness.

Nope!

 

[Jeschke]

#TTT timeline to come:
WTT (April 16-18)
-Awards (April 19-25)
Kibosh (May 1st)

 

[mjb52]

Horror face is for the kibosh not the rest of the post!

 

[Vagabond]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
From: The Press Office​

Due to you-know-what, May 1 has been cancelled this year.

Anyone who doesn't get this memo will be Tsareva'd.

 

[SmallFairy]

Of course Basil the Great is, otherwise Vice would go mental.
He'd like to do have Minchuk in the race too.

Other candidates:
Murad the Original (Volchkova)
Mikhailov (Plushy) - Boss-Do
Dudakov (Tutberidze) - @taz'smum -Do
Pitkeev (Ivanova) - @Ka3sha -Do
Nazarov (Samokhin) -
Rozanov (Plushy) Everyone's-Do
Glinka (Rukavicin) - Just because

Pitkeev!!!!! No contest! @SmallFairy -do!

@alchemy void will mud-wrestle @taz'smum for Dudakov!
Rozanov do-for-everyone but me
Glinka for sure!

Basil the great (Velikov jr., right?) will challenge Pitkeev if anyone will. Tamura hasn't been seen much....

Actually I do feel like you, the stream of minions did dry up this season, as only one coach was allowed everywhere...

 

[happycamper2554]

Zhulin's minion Durnev. Especially since we found out that Zhulin sent him to talk to Katsalapov in 2017 for the first meeting. plus his insta bio is literally a list of his students

 

[Jeschke]

Latest message on Boss' mobile device (no kidding):
Expect your own kibosh!

 

[Jeschke]

MEEPOTS 2020/21 Shortlist

 

[Jeschke]

I swear @alchemy void choreographed Tultseva/Belovodchenko (2:47)

 

[Karen-W]

MEEPOTS 2020/21 Shortlist

Because, you know, that last MEEPOTS pose in the video clips doesn't bias the voters in any way into voting for it...