#TeamTrainwreck 22: Every dark cloud has a pewter lining!

[Amy L]

It was after Heidi Munger's LP

 

[SmallFairy]

@SmallFairy there is a cutout of a big bunny holding a Mariah Bell sign in the audience. Look for it when Audrey Shin skates.

I couldn’t see it. (Maybe I wasn’t really awake?) Where approx in the video is it?
ETA Found it! I was looking for a photo, that’s why I missed it the first time. Too cute.

 

[SmallFairy]

US ladies:

Amber’s power and stroking is everything. I could watch just that all day. And then she’s also soft and full of expression. Killer combo. Heart on her sleeve always. Gotta love her. Tursy-POTS for sure. She managed in an empty KnC, wearing a mask And I must say, she skated that long program like there was a full crowd in the arena carrying her

Bunny Girl’s program MUST GO! The “choreo” is cringeworthy basic or non-existent, and it’s not even ABBA, just some Mamma Mia s***-cover. Kill me now.

Bradie was somewhat too stiff, I expected more from the panegyric PBP. Good effort, but not for the ages. She’s an excellent spinner though. Tara and Johnny are truly awful commentators in every possible way, and I’m happy I rarely have to listen to them, and then they managed to say Karen Chen is US’ best spinner, no on comes close. No love for Bradie. Morons!

Love Karen’s delayed jumps, but I agree with third. Amber was on fire. Karen skates beautifully, but lacks the last electricity for me.

 

[SmallFairy]

So, my man is skating tonight?
And Camden too? Are we ready?

 

[Laney]

So, my man is skating tonight?
And Camden too? Are we ready?

Whoever is your man, I hope MY man slayes tonight!

 

[lurkz2]

And Camden too? Are we ready?

Dunno if Camden's so ready or just bored he has time to reply to a tweet like this one

https://twitter.com/CamdenPulk/status/1350295313794228225?s=20

 

[rfisher]

Let's hope for the former, but plan on the later. If he places as well as Karen, it will be a happy day on #TTW.

 

[kwanfan1818]

Is Mariah really heartbreaking though?

Yes.

Plus, I think "Has French boyfriend" should be one of the criteria.

 

[Vagabond]

Yes.

Plus, I think "Has French boyfriend" should be one of the criteria.

For those who have just tuned in or have forgotten, and most especially for @kwanfan1818, here is what you need to know about how we roll here:

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off-ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair
13) Bizarre salchows
14) Penchant for dying in the second half of the program

Pantheon:
Gimazetdinova, Anastasia
Hubert, Laëtitia
Miner, Ross
Sandhu, Emanuel

Fans' Auxiliary:
alchemy_void
pinky166
SmallFairy
rfisher

Glossary:
#TTW = Team Trainwreck
1930's Belarussian = Katsiarina Pakhamovich
Big Bro = Michal Březina
Bossman = Jeschke (not Norman Jeschke)
Cave In = Kévin Aymoz (from the French pronunciation of his first name and his tendency to cave in)
Comfy Balls = Sondre Oddvoll Bøe (from his brand of shorts for underwear, as reflected on his social media posts)
Danny Salmon = Daniel Samohin
Elvis = Nicolas Nadeau (from his Elvis Presley Free Skate of a few of seasons ago)
Lil Sis = Eliška Březinová
Lovebirds = Two young skaters who display their affection for each other on social media (exact meaning depends on context)
Narcissus and Echo = Guillaume Cizeron and Gabriella Papadakis
Our boy = Dmitri Aliev
Perkov = Anton Shulepov (through his marriage to Perkova)
Perkova = Alena Leonova
Poster boy = Daniel Samohin
Poster girl = Stanislava Konstantinova
Pressman = Vagabond
Queen U = Elizaveta Ukolova
Romsky = Roman Sadovsky (from his moniker on social media)
Telenovela = Deniss Vasiljevs, either with or without his coach (for obvious reasons)
TM1 = Maria Artemieva (Trainwreck Maria #1)
TM2 = Maria Stavitskaya (Trainwreck Maria #2)
Tsareva = (1) To react impassively to success or failure; (2) not to suffer fools gladly.
Unknown Kid - Mark Kondratiuk.
Vice = alchemy_void

MEEPOTS = Most Epic Ending Pose of the Season
MESS = Most Epic Splat of the Season
MIMOS = Most Important Minion of the Season
POTS or -POTS = Performance of the Season
Tursy-POTS = Kiss and Cry Performance of the Season (from Elizabet Tursynbayeva's mother)

FAQ:

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But you may aspire to joining the Fans' Auxiliary.

Why isn't "Has a French boyfriend" one of the Criteria?
The Criteria have to do with goes on on ice, not off it, you silly thing! We thought you knew better.

Okay, sorry! Why isn't "Has a French boyfriend" one of the Qualities?
Having a French boyfriend is well within the range of "bizarre off-ice incidents." Let's move on.

Who decides whether a skater's membership should be cancelled on grounds other than medalling or retirement?
Normally, the bossman, possibly with the advice of vice. But there's always a first time for everything.

Why are Alena Leonova, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva, and Han Yan on the List?
The bossman has his delusions, and we humor him.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Amber Glenn, Camden Pulkinen, and Gracie Gold.

What is the Pantheon?
The Pantheon is something we cooked up here in the #TTW Press Office to promote those skaters who have retired. Each member of the Pantheon must embody in his or her own way the essence of Team Trainwreck as determined by the pressman.

How do I get on the Fans' Auxiliary?
Not by asking or campaigning for it.

What is the Black Mark of #TTW?
It's our own special curse, bestowed when da bossman allows a skater to the Team based on a certain number of votes rather than his own judgment or a consensus, as required by Rule #3. The curse has been known to end skaters' careers or send their lives into a tailspin.

Sally Skater and Peter Partner tripped each other after doubling their salchows at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes them worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

Why is this thread in The Trash Can, whereas From Russia with Love is in Great Skate Debate?
We have higher standards about the company that we keep.

What is a kibosh?
The most heartbreaking thing that can happen besides a major meltdown in the Short Program of an ISU Championship that you expected your favorite skater to win.

Is there a King and Queen, or is everybody equal?
No, but we do have the bossman and vice.

Can someone clarify what this thread is for/about?
No.

 

[Jeschke]

Bell.
Denied!

 

[rfisher]

Bell.
Denied!

What's the girl to do? Wins SKAM--finishes 5th at US Nationals. Has a French boyfriend. Doesn't get to see him for a year. Has the entire Korean federation out for blood. (((((Bunnygirl))))

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

Amber!!!!!!

@AngieNikodinovLove are you alive and breathing?

LOL I know. As I just mentioned in the amber Glenn fan thread I watched in bed last night but I have not been feeling well, not Covid.

As soon as I saw it all unfold I was going to Instagram her and come here and leave a post but I was not feeling all that well.

All of her jumps were breathtaking, her costume was gorgeous and she has so much speed. She had that unusual combination of grace and athleticism that’s my favorite to watch.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

@Jeschke Amber Glenn 2021 U.S. Nationals Free Skate for Tursy-POTS consideration, please.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much!

YES

I feel like Amber is always nomination worthy of that award. She’s very vocal in kiss and cry. She always leaves us wanting more.

 

[rfisher]

LOL I know. As I just mentioned in the amber Glenn fan thread I watched in bed last night but I have not been feeling well, not *********.

As soon as I saw it all unfold I was going to Instagram her and come here and leave a post but I was not feeling all that well.

All of her jumps were breathtaking, her costume was gorgeous and she has so much speed. She had that unusual combination of grace and athleticism that’s my favorite to watch.

Awe, I'm sorry you didn't get to celebrate in true ANL fashion. Since it may never happen again.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

Awe, I'm sorry you didn't get to celebrate in true ANL fashion. Since it may never happen again.

Lol. Wash your mouth out!!

 

[Dobre]

What's the girl to do? Wins SKAM--finishes 5th at US Nationals. Has a French boyfriend. Doesn't get to see him for a year. Has the entire Korean federation out for blood. (((((Bunnygirl))))

Skates free program to Swedish pop group during year in which Swedish Worlds will probably have no audience and Bunnygirl will probably not be going anyway. (Having managed to finish behind not one, but two other trainwreck worthy candidates at U.S. Nationals). Of course, this would make Mariah a prime candidate for 4CCs, except the entire season has been trainwrecked also.

Awe, I'm sorry you didn't get to celebrate in true ANL fashion. Since it may never happen again.

My Mom's comment immediately prior to Amber's free skate:

"I believe she will nail a free skate sometime. Once."

 

[SmallFairy]

Whoever is your man, I hope MY man slayes tonight!

I fear cannot hope for anything else than my man staying upright on his 3A

 

[mjb52]

At a fundamental level, Mariah is just not trainwrecky.

 

[Dobre]

At a fundamental level, Mariah is just not trainwrecky.

Mariah is so trainwrecky that her trainwrecky Titanic performance at Nationals from the first time I saw her has not even made it onto youtube.

 

[SmallFairy]

I agree, even as a hardcore fan of Bunny Girl, I don’t think she’s train material. I love her, but I’m not heartbroken her bombing the free skate, the program is so bad it was written in the stars from very the beginning of the season it wouldn’t work out. But she’ll be back, Shae Lynn can’t have two such blackouts in a row...

 

[mjb52]

I was trying not to say it out loud, but she is just too wholesome to be trainwrecky imo, no matter how poorly she might perform on an individual occasion. I like her! But she is wholesome. There is not a trainwrecky bone in her body. Being a train wreck isn't just bombing a program. You have to have it in your soul. (this is all imo obvs)

 

[Jeschke]

@SmallFairy avatar

 

[Vagabond]

I was trying not to say it out loud, but she is just too wholesome to be trainwrecky imo, no matter how poorly she might perform on an individual occasion. I like her! But she is wholesome. There is not a trainwrecky bone in her body. Being a train wreck isn't just bombing a program. You have to have it in your soul. (this is all imo obvs)

Boss's pet Ross Miner is excessively wholesome too, and he was on the Team.

 

[her grace]

I've been a fan of Bell for so long that I remember when she messed up something in every competition. I enjoyed watching her skate as a junior because there has always been something very compelling about her skating and her interpretation even when the technical wasn't really there.

Here's an old competition report from 2013 I wrote about Bell.

Report from Southwesterns

Senior Ladies LP

1) Mariah Bell
Mariah was fabulous! Wonderful performance quality! Her Titanic program is quite different than her perky, charismatic programs from the past, but her musicality shines in this program as well. It also came across better in person than when I watched her JGP youtube videos, where I thought she looked subdued. She landed a great triple flip-double axel sequence, although she doubled some of her other jumps.

I am truly amazed that she became internationally competitive; I thought she would always be the skater that you look forward to watching, but never reaches the final group at U.S. nationals. And she has just surpassed all my expectations in leaps and bounds. So I guess I'm still a little shocked when she does well (major for handling that Eunsoo Lim BS at worlds), and she can't actually break my heart when she doesn't (because I kinda expect the old Mariah is still there and I like her anyway).

 

[Jeschke]

Nationals Day 2:

Dance
Huh?

Ladies
Double strike for ANL A shame you could not celebrate condingly.
Tennell. Good. Still not doin' it for me.
Glenn.Chen. So happy for both. But we all know what this means for olympic season 7yrs after Glenn's junior title. That has been some journy But: both FS are meh so much, but in this moment of joy I don't care.
Shin. Besides all the Pogo memories, awesome! Love the intensity and carriage.
GG. Gutsy for a moment. Step by step.
Ross and cat. Tursy-Pots.

Men Preview
Paniot.
Naumov.
Kraznozhon.
Dunk.
Chen.
Pulkinen.

 

[rfisher]

Kraz as an ox

 

[Jeschke]

(((Vice)))

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGvTrJ2ns0o/?igshid=1j7io7364rt4s

 

[rfisher]

Sorry @AngieNikodinovLove you're 1 for 2. Chen got the world nod over Glenn.

 

[mjb52]

Wow, they announced already? I thought they would wait to see if a monitoring situation was remotely possible.

 

[Jeschke]

Wow. I am surprised here.
I really like both but

Classic story for Glenn