#TeamTrainwreck 11: Foreplay over Coldplay

[Jeschke]

-Patron-Saint:
Pogorilaya, Anna

Ladies:
Gold, Gracie
Konstantinova, Stanislava
Lecavelier, Laurine
Leonova, Alena
Park, So-Youn
Peltonen, Emmi
Sakhanovich, Serafima
Schott, Nicole

Men:
Aliev, Dmitri
Aymoz, Kévin
Brezina, Michal
Miner, Ross
Nadeau, Nicolas
Sadovsky, Roman
Samohin, Daniel
Yan, Han

Pairs:
Ilyushechkina, Lubov / Moscovitch, Dylan
James, Vanessa / Ciprès, Morgan
Peng, Cheng / Jin, Yang

Ice Dance:
Fournier Beaudry, Laurence / Sorensen, Nikolaj
Stavitskaya, Maria


Watch List:
Ladies: Galustyan, Anastasia
Men: Orzel, Conrad
Pairs: Cain, Ashley / LeDuc, Timothy
Dance: Hurtado, Sara / Khaliavin, Kirill

 

[Jeschke]

It might be fitting starting this thread before the dance event begins; who knows, maybe we can add a dance team to the list after the Games (to the big mental breakdown of @levineismine )

 

[Vagabond]

Criteria:
1) Skater needs a complete package to potentially be a top skater at Euros/4CC's/Worlds/Olympic level
2) Skater needs to have the ability to absolutely rock one day and splat the day after. Even better: rock and splat during one program
3) Skater is not afraid of breaking one's heart over and over again
4) Skater needs more splat/messy performances than great ones

Rules:
1) Worlds/Olympic medalists and Euro/4CC's champions are not eligible
2) Multiple Euros/4CC's medal winners are not eligible
3) Membership and changes to the Rules and Qualities shall be decided by consensus among longstanding posters in the #TeamTrainwreck Threads, subject to points 1) and 2)
4) The pinky166 is not allowed to make more than one proposal a day
5) Proposals can be submitted in the #teamtrainwreck thread
6) New membership is granted only to current skaters
7) New membership is only granted to senior skaters (at least one international senior competition)
8) Membership can be cancelled due to points 1) and 2), numerous decent skates in a row or not being competitive on elite level anymore.

Qualities:
1) Being a student of Volchkova/Rukavicin
2) Big boobs/nice ass
3) Boobs/belly/nipples showing
4) Mule kick
5) Being Uzbek/Russian
6) last name called Schott
7) Bizarre off ice incidents
8) Coach
9) Costume (-Malfunction)
10) Splats
11) Bizarre Choreo
12) Hair

FAQ:

I thought that there weren't any rules and da bossman did whatever he pleased
Get with the program.

If I post in this thread, does that mean I'm on #TTW?
No, the skaters are the ones on the Team, not us. But if you make the right kind of posts or can link to videos showing you fangirling any of the Italian competitors at World this season, you can make it it into the Fans' Auxiliary. @levineismine

Why is Alena Leonova on the List? She has a World Silver Medal.
There's a Perkova Rule, which is so obvious it doesn't need to be included in the Rules above, namely, a skater is on the Team if she (1) has only one World or Olympic Silver or Bronze Medal and no international gold medals, (2) has never won her home country's National Championship, and (3) is Perkova.

What about Yan Han?
That's a typo.

Do you have to be voidy to be on the Team?
No, but it helps. You do, however, have to be heartbreaking.

Is there an anti-American bias here?
Not at all. Several Americans are or have been on the team, e.g., Ross Miner, Richard Dornbush, Gracie Gold, and Mirai Nagasu.

Why isn't being French and hot one of the Qualities?
It's implicit in being French and hot that a skater has the listed Qualities in spades.

Sally Skater fell on her triple flip at last weekend's competition. Surely that makes her worthy of the Team.
In and of itself, falling once or even several times in one program does not warrant membership. Please reread the Criteria.

Why aren't skaters allowed on the Team before they skate Seniors at the international level?
We want to give them time to mature without putting too much pressure on them.

 

[Jeschke]

I thought that there weren't any rules and da bossman did whatever he pleased
Get with the program.

What about Yan Han?
That's a typo.

 

[levineismine]

@Vagabond , the thread title should give you an idea of whom I'll be crying for in Milan
Altho I will not deny BabyRizzo or La Vita è bella some tears

 

[rfisher]

I forgot. Did Coombs/Buckland get booted after Euros? Did they have the shortest membership of any skater/team?

 

[Vagabond]

I forgot. Did Coombs/Buckland get booted after Euros? Did they have the shortest membership of any skater/team?

Yes, they got booted. I think @Jeschke keeps track of duration on the Team.

 

[alchemy void]

very half-assed SD recap, because it's dance. i write novels for ladies.

Virtue: really good, please win gold tomorrow.
Papadakis: lucky to be so close to V/M, but major respect for her to hold it together, literally and figuratively
Hubbell: boring. I like the FD though
Shibs: performance of the night for me, stunning tech and performance. wuzrobbed.
Italians: OK i guess
Bob: ummmmm...I do like the blind FD, but this was bad. i miss stepanova.
Chock: dress of the night!
Weaver: good skate, twizzles sucked tho
Gilles: performance of the night #2! stunning! they're fierce!
Coomes: so happy they made the top 10, fabulous trashy SD

 

[levineismine]

I can't wait for Latin season to be over, ice dance is my favourite event and yet I spent half of the competition searching for photos of birds that looked like ice dance costumes

I spent the other half stressing and binge eating

 

[screech]

I can't wait for Latin season to be over, ice dance is my favourite event and yet I spent half of the competition searching for photos of birds that looked like ice dance costumes

Share your finds?

 

[Vagabond]

It might be fitting starting this thread before the dance event begins; who knows, maybe we can add a dance team to the list after the Games

Gabriella Papadakis displayed several of the Qualities today, but she isn't Team material.

 

[casken]

If Bob can't get it done, I hope C&L can.

The entitlement to the bronze of my fellow Americans is driving me nuts.

 

[levineismine]

Share your finds?

Name the skaters
1.
https://goo.gl/images/qmZECA

2. (This is better on video, I believe it would work well with SD music)
https://youtu.be/7dx2CUMtZ-0

 

[screech]

2. (This is better on video, I believe it would work well with SD music)
https://youtu.be/7dx2CUMtZ-0

I need him to narrate my life! Or at least commentate skating, especially the "Ooooh boy. Well, not today."

 

[Jeschke]

Bossman Olympic SD recap (as it happened):

Overall - This was a fight to death to stay alive in the middle of the night seriously!

CZE - Once, Ceska was kinda hot.
UKR - Bourzat bitchface lv4, loved it Hot Maxim knew right away they won't make it
GER - Glad, the stunning dress is back! Good to make the final with an improvised lv 4 lift! Was not a given. Joti, quoting Kavita in german TV: 'It's like Disnleyland here. Everyone is happy and smiles.'
ISR - Gimme da Izzy
RUS2 - Best Rhumba still! For RUS3 placement would be fine, for RUS2, it isn't.
FRA2 - Watching his mimics during the skate, I wonder how is bed face might look like
ESP - Best SD of the season! Best come of the season! Best set of progams of the season! Giving S/D worlds is a nice move but a silly one! With luck, H/K could manage Top10.
TUR - A shame they are out, I have a soft sport for them, and their Miki-memorial-FD
GBR - So ****ing overscored! I admire her willpower, but so overscored! Gimme BabyBuckland
CHN - How the **** did they not manage to make it? I hate to see that their home coach did not make knc but Hongbo the Great did!
SVK - I do not need them in FD!
POL - I am ashamed I called him hot once At least she finally managed to dye her hair properly, at least!
JPN - Freed forever!
ITA2 - No lipstick. no power Babs!
CAN3 - Give me BabyFirus! This is just too trashy!
CAN2 - Can't stand Weaver skating, sorry. Does Chait not age at all???
USA2 - Somehow the Shibs get on my nerves, I deleted them on IG, maybe that might help to enjoy the skating again. They sold it!
USA3 - I was sure #dance4peace would be in contention and final flight! What a shame. Appreciate her LaKhok'10-memorial dress! LaKhok! Another wound not healed yet
CAN1 - Stunning! Get that ****ing gold medal!
FRA1 - Way too close imho. Hesitant and cautious. Disliked his new costume outta the Rippon-collection! As Golden Spin lady would say: Either nipples for everybode or nipples for nobody!
USA1 - Cautious, but I am pleased @levineismine survived without heart attack and mental breakdown!
RUS1 - Bob got robbed For a second I prayed the TES would remain, though I know it wouldn't A shame they missed final flight! 4th best PCS, Bob is on her way back, please don't get babies next season, you are on the right track girl! Love Dima's face at the arse-slapping
ITA1 - What story what would be, when #missionbronze miraculously would work out in the end. I guess they already accepted they won't make the final flight and were pleasantly surprised!

FD hopes:
Gold - V/M
Silver - Nipples for everybody!
Bronze - #missionbronze (there are 3 options for that, 2 I prefer!)

 

[SmallFairy]

Gabriella Papadakis displayed several of the Qualities today, but she isn't Team material.

Oh my, I'm glad I didn't stay up to watch, my nerves or heart can't take it!

FAQ lights my day though

 

[text_skate]

GER - Glad, the stunning dress is back! Good to make the final with an improvised lv 4 lift! Was not a given. Joti, quoting Kavita in german TV: 'It's like Disnleyland here. Everyone is happy and smiles.'
ISR - Gimme da Izzy

Apparently they had to modify the dress , because it was too sexy , the commentator said

 

[SmallFairy]

Our boy is in good spirits with Baby Rizzo!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfXux--nJ42/

 

[Ka3sha]

Almost missed the moment we opened the new thread


I don’t know if it’s those early morning get ups (4 am ) or something else but it was really hard to watch the whole event today, and I usually enjoy ice dance the most..

 

[SamuraiK]

SD Recap:

ISR: Just be glad Tkachenko was no jew!
CZE: How did they qualify at Nebelhron over the Finns?
CHN: So slowww.. Bad Despacito cover didn't help either.
UKR: My baby pirates... It was really sloppy and the starting order doomed them.
TUR: I would have put them below the ukranians but missing the FD 2 olympics in a row would be too harsh.
SVK: Im glad Lucie got her oly experience but that was lame.
FRA2: He's kinda hot and I aprreciate a guy going with something besides black.
GER: Good charisma can only take you so far, start improving the tech asap.
KOR: Homegifted but who cares
JPN: I think Kana is already outskating him despite having much less experience in dance.
POL: Dullest Despacito ever!!
RUS3: Where's Tazmun?? Yay for Tiffany acomplishing her dream
ESP: Best dressed awards goes to Sarah. Awesome attack
ITA2: Shame about the twizzles. Awful starting order for the FD. :
GBR: Im happy for Penny but that Torvill & Dean half assed homage was embarrasing. Wuzgifted.
CAN3: Yma Sumac at the Olympics Yes they are trashy but good trashy.
CAN2: Unsure about the red costumes. They didnt look as smoking hot as they should. Very tentative, their confidence is totally gone by now.
USA3: They skated like they knew they were going to be thrown under the bus no matter what.
RUS1: What the hell was that.. Glad they didnt make it the final group with it.
ITA1: As usual the italians know how to portray latin on ice. If only they could skate as well as the top teams.
USA2: Best SD of the season! The Shibs are not always my cup of tea but when they are on they are soo enjoyable.
USA1: Zach must be pissing on his pants thinking about the FD twizzles..
FRA1: I wanted V&M to get the title but not like this. Now we are never gonna hear the end of "They only won because the french had the costume malfunction.."
V&M : Stupid music choice aside, they basically own the ice

Do-hard Award: Sara Hurtado

Sidenote: Why are all the Dance emoticons stuck in the SLC cycle??

 

[rfisher]

Dance

 

[alchemy void]

Sidenote: Why are all the Dance emoticons stuck in the SLC cycle??

The last time dance was moderately interesting!

I don’t know if it’s those early morning get ups (4 am ) or something else but it was really hard to watch the whole event today, and I usually enjoy ice dance the most..

Well I don't enjoy dance much, but I had the same reaction. There were a few good dances but I was bored most of the time. Maybe the FDs will be better.

Is it ladies yet?

 

[SamuraiK]

I wasn't the best SD event, I'll concede that but I'd rather watch 10 despacitos in a row before the first 4 groups of the Ladies SP.

 

[Ka3sha]

Btw, who needs Olympics, when Leonova is competing at the Russian Cup Final this week?
Abba Girl and Gubanova will be there as well

For da bossman: Samarin sits in 6th after the short (out of 9), Kurbanov and Murashov in 8th and 9th places
http://www.fsrussia.ru/results/1718/cor1718/MMC_K_Scores.pdf

 

[alchemy void]

Btw, who needs Olympics, when Leonova is competing at the Russian Cup Final this week?

Any chance for a stream? (Seriously).

Leonova, Mikhailova, and Gubanova are all awesome and 3 of my favorites. But I want Perkova to redeem herself from nationals and beat Abba Girl this time!

 

[Ka3sha]

Any chance for a stream? (Seriously).

Leonova, Mikhailova, and Gubanova are all awesome and 3 of my favorites. But I want Perkova to redeem herself from nationals and beat Abba Girl this time!

Sure, Russian Fed’s YouTube channel will be there for you
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFSRussia?app=desktop

Oh, Tsurskaya, Kostornaia and some others will also be there, I posted the link to the entries in the K&C

 

[Jeschke]

For da bossman: Samarin sits in 6th after the short (out of 9), Kurbanov and Murashov in 8th and 9th places
http://www.fsrussia.ru/results/1718/cor1718/MMC_K_Scores.pdf

Haha, seems like Samarin got the note, where my favourites usually place But I am happy I can rewatch that awesome SP once more (who cares he ****ed up )
Is that Shulepov leading? If so, holy **** yes

 

[Jeschke]

It says a lot about us, that while olympics are on we are paying attention to russian cup final

 

[Jeschke]

Is that Shulepov leading? If so, holy **** yes

It's him - and everytime I see him again, I just remember how much I love his skating (surprise surprise #teamrukavicin)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gi5-c4ph9E

 

[rfisher]

We could drop out the first two groups (or maybe three) at the Olympics and replace them with Gubanova, Kostornaia, AbbaGirl, and even Leonova and they'd be more entertaining. And better.