UPDATED: Guilty verdict in Bill Cosby Case (threads merged)

[Japanfan]

deleted

 

[once_upon]

Tell a parent!

I won't get into much detail - but I did within 90 minutes of the assault. A conversation about don't tell anyone because you'll be labeled happened.
Loving parents who thought they were protecting me from the victim blaming society.
Maybe you are a better parent...but somehow I think you might react similarly

 

[ballettmaus]

Why do you slow down, or sway away to the next lane, or engage in "defensive driving" when a reckless driver is next to you endangering the traffic, and will be stopped and arrested if police caught him?

You could hit a patch of black ice. You could hit a deer. A tree or something else could fall onto your car. A tire could burst causing you to have an accident.
There are all kinds of accidents that can happened without irresponsible or reckless driving. Accidents happen. But society does not tend to blame victims of car accidents no matter what their cause. Society also does not tend to blame victims of a robbery. Or victims who are threatened at gunpoint. Or kidnapped. But society does blame victims of sex crimes.

 

[PeterG]

You could hit a patch of black ice. You could hit a deer. A tree or something else could fall onto your car. A tire could burst causing you to have an accident.

Or Matt Lauer or Les Moonves could fall in your car through the sun roof.

 

[AxelAnnie]

I won't get into much detail - but I did within 90 minutes of the assault. A conversation about don't tell anyone because you'll be labeled happened.
Loving parents who thought they were protecting me from the victim blaming society.
Maybe you are a better parent...but somehow I think you might react similarly

Parents both alcoholic. Prized teacher at dchool... absolutely

 

[AxelAnnie]

So men can't change their behavior, given that the onus is on women to 'most help'?

It's okay for men to get drunk out of their mind, go to drunken parties, and try to lure women to their bedrooms?

Why? Because they have no capacity to control themselves?

This statement is just all sorts of wrong.

ETA: It is not pertinent to cases of sexual harassment in the workplace, which is probably the most form of sexual harassment and is currently being foregrounded.



You are essentially saying that women should be afraid of men, and be vigilant when around them because they threaten women's safety and security. And therefore give up certain freedoms, like the freedom to have a good time at a party.

That's hardly empowerment.

No not what I am saying at all. The opposite in fact

 

[Japanfan]

No not what I am saying at all. The opposite in fact

How so? You're exact words were: Don't get drunk out of your mind. Don't go to drunken parties. Don't go with men you don't know (even if they are famous or offer you a job) to their bedrooms.

You are telling women what they must do to protect themselves from male advances. That is certainly not definitive of what empowerment means to women.

And I just read this:

Sending a blind 80 year old man to prison for sexual assault (which clearly is not going to happen again) just seems silly and sad.

It's silly and sad to punish a man who broke the law and violated women because he is old, blind and unlike to re-offend? Should we base sentencing on likelihood to re-offend and health status, not on the crime committed?

If a man charged with murder or armed robbery is old and becomes paralyzed in his arms and therefore unlikely to re-offend, should we just let him off the hook?

FFS AxelAnnie, Cosby will be out of jail in three years if he lives that long, or less.

There are convicted small-time black and Hispanic offenders who are stuck in jail longer than Cosby will be, for much lesser crimes.

 

[Vagabond]

Cosby will be out of jail in three years if he lives that long, or less.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. He has been found to be a sexually violent predator who might re-offend, and, thus far, he is utterly unrepentant. Parole boards are usually very cautious about early releases for such convicts, especially in high profile cases.

 

[PeterG]

I might be mistaken, but I thought I read or heard something about how there are other accusations/charges that Cosby will be facing in court as well? If anyone knows this information is wrong, please correct me.

 

[chantilly]

Asking a woman to be” empowered” and report her rape is totally ignorant of the fact that most women after being sexually assaulted or raped feel anything but empowered.

 

[Japanfan]

Asking a woman to be” empowered” and report her rape is otally ignorant of the fact that most women after being sexually assaulted or raped feel anything but empowered.

To add insult to injury, most rape victims know that if they do report it, they are likely to not be believed, to be blamed, and to be humiliated and demeaned, even laughed at.

I think that the woman accusing Kavanaugh has received death threats and I think (am not sure) she is not able to live in her home at present?

 

[PeterG]

Asking a woman to be” empowered” and report her rape is otally ignorant of the fact that most women after being sexually assaulted or raped feel anything but empowered.

"Asking" things of women after they've been raped is a real a**hole move, in my opinion. Especially if we are not asking ANYTHING of the male who just committed the rape.

To add insult to injury, most rape victims know that if they do report it, they are likely to not be believed, to be blamed, and to be humiliated and demeaned, even laughed at.

There needs to be a documentary made about "why I did not report". Or maybe a TV series like Law and Order where each episode covers a different reason why someone does not report a sexual assault. The fact that people are asking the question of why people don't report being abused just blows my frickin' mind.

I think that the women accusing Kavanaugh has received death threats and I think (am not sure) she is not able to live in her home at present?

I heard that Christine Blasey Ford definitely had to remove her entire family from their home due to death threats. I am unsure if she (or others in her family) are able to go to work or school at this time.

 

[DreamSkates]

At least now, hopefully, men will stop raping and harassing and drugging and sexually assaulting and judging and groping women, etc., etc. - and stop giving women any reason to go to police, to their employer, to their counsellors, to their school authority, etc., etc.

That would make a significant difference.

Yes of course, that is where it needs to stop.

 

[skatingguy]

Vice News segment on Consent - a discussion with teenagers.
How To Get High Schoolers To Rethink Sexual Consent And Assault (HBO)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4BxuG5xMD0

 

[Japanfan]

Vice News segment on Consent - a discussion with teenagers.
How To Get High Schoolers To Rethink Sexual Consent And Assault (HBO)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4BxuG5xMD0

I'm sad that things don't seem to have changed much since I was in high school. Teen girls still seem to need encouragement and affirmation that it's okay to say no.

But a dialogue like this in high schools - probably junior high schools as well - is what is needed to change things.

I'm not of the mind that 'men will be men' and nothing can be done to change out. This view is all too common, and is in my mind not only a cop-out, but also and ultimately reinforces the notion of male entitlement.

 

[mag]

One of the big problems in school is that dress code policies reinforce that girls are somehow responsible for the actions of boys. Anything that prescibes skirt/short length, strap width, whether or not a bra is required, all reinforces that it is the girls responsibility to not tempt the boys. It is interesting to note that boys taking off their shirts is not seen as something that might distract or cause girls behaviour to change.

 

[skatingguy]

One of the big problems in school is that dress code policies reinforce that girls are somehow responsible for the actions of boys. Anything that prescibes skirt/short length, strap width, whether or not a bra is required, all reinforces that it is the girls responsibility to not tempt the boys. It is interesting to note that boys taking off their shirts is not seen as something that might distract or cause girls behaviour to change.

This reminds me of scene from season 1 of the West Wing where one character says 'Show the average teenage male pornography, and his thoughts will turn to lust', and Toby responds 'Show the average teenage male a lug wrench, and his thoughts will turn to lust'. I'm not getting the quotes correct, but you get the picture.

 

[PeterG]

One of the big problems in school is that dress code policies reinforce that girls are somehow responsible for the actions of boys. Anything that prescibes skirt/short length, strap width, whether or not a bra is required, all reinforces that it is the girls responsibility to not tempt the boys....

For those who think this way, then...

...It is interesting to note that boys taking off their shirts is not seen as something that might distract or cause girls behaviour to change.

...this must be teen boys trying to tempt gay men.

 

[my little pony]

ive been to two rape trials of friends. they were "perfect" victims in that part of the assault was on a surveillance camera for each, each was drugged and it was still in their system when they did their rape kit, each was beaten beyond recognition, each reported it immediately. I'm still shaken by how they were treated in court, (for example each defense attorney claimed that they actually knew their rapist and asked to be beaten) I cant imagine how they feel. plus one her permanent internal damage. neither rapist spent a day in jail. both of their lives were on hold for years. if a victim weighs the pros and cons and decides not to report it, it's totally understandable and probably better for some victims mentally depending on all the circumstances. all the ignorant voices in the comment section under news stories second guessing them just makes it worse. statistically, there are several rape victims reading these comments right now. stop victimizing the over again with your comments.

 

[Scrufflet]

ive been to two rape trials of friends. they were "perfect" victims in that part of the assault was on a surveillance camera for each, each was drugged and it was still in their system when they did their rape kit, each was beaten beyond recognition, each reported it immediately. I'm still shaken by how they were treated in court, (for example each defense attorney claimed that they actually knew their rapist and asked to be beaten) I cant imagine how they feel. plus one her permanent internal damage. neither rapist spent a day in jail. both of their lives were on hold for years. if a victim weighs the pros and cons and decides not to report it, it's totally understandable and probably better for some victims mentally depending on all the circumstances. all the ignorant voices in the comment section under news stories second guessing them just makes it worse. statistically, there are several rape victims reading these comments right now. stop victimizing the over again with your comments.

This is profound. There is no suitable emoji for this. All I can say is that I am glad that you were there to support. This tale should stay with many of us for a long time.