Royalty Thread #9. Welcome Archie, the red headed heir, don’t care!

[Jenny]

I'd have suggested he stick a red hot poker right up his arse and go and eff himself. The fact you didn't kill him is nearly as big an achievement as giving birth

I realize this is just a message board and people want to amuse (as you often do ) and be supportive of one another based on very little other than what we choose to tell each other.

However. I find this type of conversation, which so often involves the very stereotypes we all say we want to put an end to about husbands and wives and men and women and fathers and mothers, to be very counterproductive.

I wasn't in the delivery room and I don't know quartz's husband but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that when he said "I thought you were stronger than this" that his intentions might have actually been good. Maybe he was trying to be encouraging in his assigned role of coach, like a personal trainer might say "come on, you can do this, only three more!" or a friend might say when you are down, "don't let this get to you, you're stronger than this, I know you are."

And, if he has no idea what it's like to give birth, maybe someone should tell him, and not in "what do you know you stupid man" way but in a "here's what this is like, I need you to understand this so that you can support me the way I support you when you go through stuff that I don't really have experience with but want to be there for you" way.

Frankly there are times when my husband who knows me better than anyone else, better than I know myself at times, when he tells me to be stronger, that he's disappointed in something I did, to quit making excuses or simply to get the f*ck over myself. And he's almost always right, and I'm glad he's honest with me because I'm honest with him and say the same stuff to him when I think he needs it. 34+ years and we've never been happier.

 

[antmanb]

I realize this is just a message board and people want to amuse (as you often do ) and be supportive of one another based on very little other than what we choose to tell each other.

However. I find this type of conversation, which so often involves the very stereotypes we all say we want to put an end to about husbands and wives and men and women and fathers and mothers, to be very counterproductive.

I wasn't in the delivery room and I don't know quartz's husband but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that when he said "I thought you were stronger than this" that his intentions might have actually been good. Maybe he was trying to be encouraging in his assigned role of coach, like a personal trainer might say "come on, you can do this, only three more!" or a friend might say when you are down, "don't let this get to you, you're stronger than this, I know you are."

And, if he has no idea what it's like to give birth, maybe someone should tell him, and not in "what do you know you stupid man" way but in a "here's what this is like, I need you to understand this so that you can support me the way I support you when you go through stuff that I don't really have experience with but want to be there for you" way.

Frankly there are times when my husband who knows me better than anyone else, better than I know myself at times, when he tells me to be stronger, that he's disappointed in something I did, to quit making excuses or simply to get the f*ck over myself. And he's almost always right, and I'm glad he's honest with me because I'm honest with him and say the same stuff to him when I think he needs it. 34+ years and we've never been happier.

To be fair my response would have been exactly the same if quartz had been talking about a wife by her side because it truly boggles my mind that anyone (male or female) feels they have a right to tell someone whether or not they should have drugs when they give birth.

What other medical procedure would anyone be in hospital for that a bunch of people think they should try to get through without pain relief?

Anecdotally it seems to me that other women are the ones who voice those opinions more than men so my gripe is more with other women than men, it just happened to be a man in this example.

Also I have an extremely low pain threshold so my opinion is very much coloured by that

 

[taf2002]

@Jenny, I think my husband is honest with me as I am honest with him but I would have never considered those harsh words to be encouragement. And no way does my DH or anyone else know me better than I know myself. That's impossible. Do you express every thought that goes thru your head? If not he doesn't know you better than you know yourself. My husband has his flaws but he doesn't think he knows better than I in how I should react to situations. He censors his own behavior & lets me censor mine.

 

[MsZem]

To be fair my response would have been exactly the same if quartz had been talking about a wife by her side because it truly boggles my mind that anyone (male or female) feels they have a right to tell someone whether or not they should have drugs when they give birth.

What other medical procedure would anyone be in hospital for that a bunch of people think they should try to get through without pain relief?

Ultrasounds and other forms of imaging, plus blood testing (for more obscure things than regular tests). But other than that, I've got nothing.

When my sister in law was having her baby I gave her permission to swat my brother if he misbehaved in any way (he did not).

Why anyone feels entitled to offer commentary on people's parenting decisions is beyond me. If they're not abusive and not asking for advice, keep it to yourself. I've had friends practically apologize to me for not breastfeeding. It's your decision, just be the best parent you can be!

 

[quartz]

My apologies to anyone looking for discussion on the royals and instead finding too much about me.

I’ll make this my last comment about my birthing experience - my husband is a fixer and it’s quite obvious I am sure, that I’m the sort that needs much fixing. He has good intentions, it’s his “delivery” of those intentions which sometimes come across as a bit ass-holey.

He would also tell you that there is more to the story - it was 2am, they had to call in the anesthesiologist, who stumbled in 20 minutes later. My husband had to watch a half-asleep person jab a needle into my back to relieve the pain that he, as my fixer, was unable to do for me. His disappointment in my not being stronger were more likely his frustrations with him being useless at that point. I have such a long list of faults, adding “weak-ass wimp at giving birth” really isn’t such a big deal.

 

[Jenny]

@Jenny, I think my husband is honest with me as I am honest with him but I would have never considered those harsh words to be encouragement. And no way does my DH or anyone else know me better than I know myself. That's impossible. Do you express every thought that goes thru your head? If not he doesn't know you better than you know yourself. My husband has his flaws but he doesn't think he knows better than I in how I should react to situations. He censors his own behavior & lets me censor mine.

I said "at times." If I'm emotional or stressed or thinking too much, he's often the one who cuts through it and straightens things out, or at least helps me sort it out myself, because he knows me and he loves me. Same in reverse.

In the end, no one knows what goes on in a marriage like the people who are actually in it. On a message board like this, we only ever get one side of things, and what's posted is likely incomplete, more than likely biassed, possibly inaccurate or even an out and out lie. So yeah it's nice to side with our friends and that's often all people are looking for when they post on a message board, but at the same time, how can we really know?

My main point though is the idea that "husbands don't know, all husbands do this, all husbands do that," whatever. It furthers stereotypes (how many of us would be very indignant if not downright angry if we came across a message board where men were saying things about wives in such general terms, telling their stories about us and having other guys tell them how to they should treat us?). It separates us into two piles and I don't think that's productive for anyone.

 

[Jenny]

On a related note, gotta love FSU thread drift - just realized this is the Royalty thread!

 

[quartz]

On a related note, gotta love FSU thread drift - just realized this is the Royalty thread!

I apologized already!! Ahahahahahaha!

 

[MsZem]

My apologies to anyone looking for discussion on the royals and instead finding too much about me.

It's more interesting than speculation about Meghan Markle's parenting choices, TBH. Hers are speculation and you're sharing actual experiences.

Turning back to royals, the Norwegians are on vacation, and Princess Ingrid Alexandra is so grown up! And pretty, too, but then look at who her parents are

 

[AxelAnnie]

To be fair my response would have been exactly the same if quartz had been talking about a wife by her side because it truly boggles my mind that anyone (male or female) feels they have a right to tell someone whether or not they should have drugs when they give birth.

What other medical procedure would anyone be in hospital for that a bunch of people think they should try to get through without pain relief?

Anecdotally it seems to me that other women are the ones who voice those opinions more than men so my gripe is more with other women than men, it just happened to be a man in this example.

Also I have an extremely low pain threshold so my opinion is very much coloured by that

Oh all kinds of things - but not online. Huge arguments in my riding lesson between fiends about how someone would have their hip replaced. My friend has no pain meds EVER. And she has had a bazillion surgeries. She is allergic to morphine, and once with a shoulder surgery the anesthesiologist decided to give her just a smidge. Required her to be kept in the hospital. Took her forever to come out of it.

 

[AxelAnnie]

I am sorry, but the way Meghan is holding her baby is just odd. Most hold the baby with up there near the burping blanket. That spit up is killer! I don't know what she was trying to do accomplish. Why not put sleeping baby in pram?

 

[kittyjake5]

When I gave birth many years ago natural childbirth was the thing to do. We went through
all the pre birth classes and I thought I was prepared. I did give birth naturally but
after it was over I looked at my doctor and my husband and I said never again will I
go through a natural childbirth again. I have been a strong advocate of drugs for birthing ever since.

 

[MacMadame]

It's more interesting than speculation about Meghan Markle's parenting choices, TBH.

Really? Because this is a thread about royals and I thought the whole point was to comment on them and what we see them doing.

I certainly didn't expect to be subject to a lecture about mommy-shaming and a host of other accusations / lectures for saying I thought the way she was holding the baby looked awkward. It's no different than saying I hated Kate's shoes IMO and it was definitely not interesting and continues to not be interesting.

 

[MsZem]

Really? Because this is a thread about royals and I thought the whole point was to comment on them and what we see them doing.

Sometimes it seems like this thread is only about a small subset of the BRF. It would be nice if it were truly a royals thread and not the Cambridge and Sussex thread.

 

[ballettmaus]

Why not put sleeping baby in pram?

Maybe Little Archie doesn't like the pram as much as he likes mommy?

 

[mag]

Sometimes it seems like this thread is only about a small subset of the BRF. It would be nice if it were truly a royals thread and not the Cambridge and Sussex thread.

People are free to post news about any royal family members. There are a number of posts about European royalty that could be followed up on if people were so inclined. People are also free to use google and post about other members of the British Royal Family. (It is kinda like the American and Canadian ladies threads - all that is generally talked about are the top few. That skater who placed 20th at Minto doesn’t get a mention.)

But sticking to Kate and Meghan for a moment:

Duchess Kate & Duchess Meghan to Attend Wimbledon Women's Final Together

What rumors? The sisters-in-law will sit side by side in the royal box at Wimbledon's Centre Court after separate visits earlier in the tournament.

www.harpersbazaar.com

 

[canbelto]

On the Prince Andrew/Jeffrey Epstein front, I really don't know how the "never complain, never explain" mantra is going to work with articles like this:

Jeffrey Epstein's friendship with Prince Andrew is raising eyebrows: What's their link?

Prince Andrew was a pal to American billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, accused of loaning underage "sex slaves" to his famous friends.

www.usatoday.com

Jeffrey Epstein is beyond horrible and it speaks poorly of Andrew (and quite frankly, of his handlers and staff) that he was so close to Epstein.

 

[mag]

Prince Andrew has never been known for good judgement. @canbelto I think that this could get quite ugly. Will be interesting to see how the BRF deal with it.

 

[MsZem]

People are free to post news about any royal family members. There are a number of posts about European royalty that could be followed up on if people were so inclined. People are also free to use google and post about other members of the British Royal Family. (It is kinda like the American and Canadian ladies threads - all that is generally talked about are the top few. That skater who placed 20th at Minto doesn’t get a mention.)

The question is who is the royal equivalent to the 20th Canadian skater...

 

[canbelto]

Meghan Kate and Pippa all attended the Wimbledon final. I wish Kate would not wear D&G. After the infamous chopsticks ad and the CEO’s instagram comments. Those were really vile.

Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton Return to Wimbledon 1 Year Later for Another Sister-in-Law Date

Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton had their first-ever joint outing (without their husbands!) at the tennis tournament last year

people.com

 

[taf2002]

I really don't understand the interest in Pippa. Yes, she looked gorgeous at Kate's wedding but she's no more interesting to me than any other rich woman. I understand the mention when she's with Kate but I've seen American media cover her when she's out & about without Kate. I don't get it.

 

[Parsley Sage]

wondering how many years before Kate takes over from the Duke of Kent as President of the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.

 

[Lorac]

wondering how many years before Kate takes over from the Duke of Kent as President of the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.

The Duke of Kent is like the Queen in that he seems to take his responsibilities seriously and it will be ill health that forces him to step down in the end. I wonder if you can be Royal Patron as well as President of the club. I suppose they may make an exception for Kate.

Love how Simona was delighted to meet Kate. She - Simona - was just adorable in her interview.

 

[skatesindreams]

I wonder if you can be Royal Patron as well as President of the club.

Would her gender be an issue in the "tradition-bound" world of Wimbledon?

 

[Lorac]

Would her gender be an issue in the "tradition-bound" world of Wimbledon?

I doubt that very much - not now adays.

 

[ballettmaus]

Meghan Kate and Pippa all attended the Wimbledon final. I wish Kate would not wear D&G. After the infamous chopsticks ad and the CEO’s instagram comments. Those were really vile.

Don't know the ad and I'm rather indifferent to the dress but I love the color! From what we can see, I also like what Meghan's wearing.

 

[canbelto]

It was a really offensive depiction of a Chinese lady trying to eat Italian food with chopsticks. It caused a furor in China that led to shows being canceled, massive boycotts and the discovery of offensive comments by the CEO on Instagram. Here are the ads:

Dolce Gabbana Eating with Chopsticks video series

youtu.be

The CEO’s comments:

'Dolce & Gabbana's cancelled chopsticks advert shows us orientalism is finally being taken seriously as a form of racism'

Despite what some have claimed, the video is clearly not an homage to Chinese culture – but instead a racist depiction of the white West’s orientalist perception of Chinese culture

www.independent.co.uk

 

[mag]

William and Kate arrive for the men’s final at Wimbledon.

Kate Middleton Wears Baby Blue for Wimbledon Outing with Prince William

The Duchess of Cambridge's dress is literal perfection.

www.harpersbazaar.com

 

[taf2002]

I like the blue dress but I wish there was a front view of it.

 

[Kruss]

I like the blue dress but I wish there was a front view of it.

Kensington Royal's Instagram is showing more photos which show the front of the dress in their Stories right now.