Just call me Harry. (Everything Harry & Meghan)

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once_upon

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FWIW the anonymous royal correspondent in Private Eye magazine has been saying for the last couple of months that the Queen was much more fragile and unwell than the Palace was publicly admitting.
I suspect that Harry's comments about "not liking what they were doing to her and wanting to protect her" was based on this. He was seeing her exhausted and being pushed (whether by her resolve to do her duty or others), led him to make that comment. Which many criticized him for.
 

Allskate

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The decision not to allow Harry to wear a military uniform (while allowing Andrew to wear his) reportedly has been reversed. I think the palace officials knew that it looked bad:

 

taf2002

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The decision about the uniform is no longer the huge burning issue. Now ppl are in an uproar about the hand holding. Apparently Zara Phillips gets a pass.
 

Barbara Manatee

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The determination to find something to complain about is ridiculous - all those commentators posting story after story claiming Meghan is trying to draw attention to herself and then acting angry that she's trending. She and Harry have been nothing but respectful this week.

Meantime Catherine is getting slammed for not holding William's hand - the only constant in the public eye is that if you are a woman, you're doing it wrong.
 

Karen-W

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Two reasons why Zara Tindall is avoiding criticism - 1) she was standing off to the side with the rest of the family instead of out in the middle of the floor of Westminster Hall which means that eyes and cameras weren't trained on her most of the time, 2) the gutter press is having a field day comparing Meghan and Kate, which, clearly, generates far more clicks than dragging Zara into this would.
 

Judy

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The determination to find something to complain about is ridiculous - all those commentators posting story after story claiming Meghan is trying to draw attention to herself and then acting angry that she's trending. She and Harry have been nothing but respectful this week.

Meantime Catherine is getting slammed for not holding William's hand - the only constant in the public eye is that if you are a woman, you're doing it wrong.
You can’t win.
 

Mugs

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The decision about the uniform is no longer the huge burning issue. Now ppl are in an uproar about the hand holding. Apparently Zara Phillips gets a pass.
I have noticed that H&M hold hands a lot. I don't understand why it's a big deal. They've been married for only a few years so let us hope they still find each other attractive and want to show affection. But really, the hand holding in their case is for support, comfort and to show they are unified. In some respects, they probably feel they're in "enemy territory" so the hand holding is a coping mechanism. I'm not a H&M fan (not a hater either) but I don't see why anyone would make an issue of a married couple holding hands unless to complain for the sake of complaining.
 

Judy

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I have noticed that H&M hold hands a lot. I don't understand why it's a big deal. They've been married for only a few years so let us hope they still find each other attractive and want to show affection. But really, the hand holding in their case is for support, comfort and to show they are unified. In some respects, they probably feel they're in "enemy territory" so the hand holding is a coping mechanism. I'm not a H&M fan (not a hater either) but I don't see why anyone would make an issue of a married couple holding hands unless to complain for the sake of complaining.
apparently it’s not allowed for Royal family like Will and Kate. Yes it’s weird but … well the Royal family isn’t supposed to be human I guess.
 

ballettmaus

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I find the not being allowed to hold hands or show affection publicly far worse than doing so. As Judy said, they're human. Right now, they've lost someone. They may find comfort in touching. If the press wants to report something they should report how ridiculous, outdated and likely problematic for mental health all these restrictions are.
 

Barbara Manatee

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I think the royal avoidance of PDA is a choice, not a rule. Most people don't hold hands when they are on the job, especially when that job involves a lot of moving around and shaking hands. And when so much of your life is on public display, it's natural to be protective of as much of your personal life as you can.
 

DreamSkates

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I think the royal avoidance of PDA is a choice, not a rule. Most people don't hold hands when they are on the job, especially when that job involves a lot of moving around and shaking hands. And when so much of your life is on public display, it's natural to be protective of as much of your personal life as you can.
I watched the movie about Queen Victoria and her servant, an Indian man. Back then, no one was to look the Queen in the eye or speak to her directly. It was the royal culture to be aloof.
 

Barbara Manatee

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If the death of a family member and the grieving process is your job you might need a new line of work.

It's not the whole job, but clearly part of it. In return they get the comfort of sharing their grief and knowing their loved one will always be remembered.
 

ballettmaus

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I think the royal avoidance of PDA is a choice, not a rule. Most people don't hold hands when they are on the job, especially when that job involves a lot of moving around and shaking hands. And when so much of your life is on public display, it's natural to be protective of as much of your personal life as you can.
I think that's part of the problem: protocol sees the mourning period as part of their job instead of them as people who have lost a mother, grandmother or great-grandmother.

Yes, they're working royals but they're still human beings and right now, they should first and foremost be treated as human beings who have lost a loved one and not as someone who's doing a job. They should be allowed to behave however they'd like to right now. If they want to touch, they should be allowed to touch, if they want to stay out of the spotlight, they should be allowed to stay out of the spotlight. Grief is highly personal. Everyone is affected by it differently and everyone grieves in their own way. This whole procedure may have been fine back when but we now know so much more about mental health and all these obligations and expectations are not healthy.
I love traditions and yes, I find protocol interesting. I also think that some things need to be updated and changed when new information is acquired and we have a better understanding of things like mental health.
 

once_upon

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The part of the process of a royal monarch death that has changed from the time of the last death of a King is the advent of video, social media, travel capabilities and the length of her reign. Nearly every minute of this week long public mourning service/time is being televised/recorded and otherwise observed. Royals were allowed some periods of private mourning because 24/7 coverage did not happen. In the past, the Royals had private time because no one expected 24/7 access.

In that aspect JFK was one of the very public, very televised coverage of lying in state, funeral procession, trip to Arlington that happened. I can't forget the stoic and stiff demeanor of the Kennedys, even Caroline and John-John. It was protocol to not have a public display of years or other actions.

But televised events stopped at midnight in the 60's. Newspapers were the social media of the day - once a day.

Princess Diana's funeral coverage was intense. The Queen was strict on protocol - it was damaging to Harry, he was that much younger, not given as much "training" as to what a future King should do and in my opinion needed more support than he got. But even then the immediacy and continuous reporting did not reach this intensity of scrutiny for Queen Elizabeth.

I'm reminded when a baby I'd taken care of for months died, and I told his mother I felt his loss as deeply as she did. She very directly and angrily told me until I had a child who died, I would never feel it as deeply as a parent. She was right, it was much different.

Very few people understand what is happening right now. Harry and William do they lost a mother, who was a royal and much loved by the public. They've been through it. But each of.us are judging, how the royal family is conducting themselves through our eyes. Some of us are proud of the way the family is showing "stiff upper lip" and following protocols as it gives them comfort. Some of us are pleased to see the Royals sharing grief by physical contact.

No one knows what it is like to lose Mummy, Grandmother and a monarchy all at once. Quite frankly the media and public need to STFU and let them grieve.
.
 

becca

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The part of the process of a royal monarch death that has changed from the time of the last death of a King is the advent of video, social media, travel capabilities and the length of her reign. Nearly every minute of this week long public mourning service/time is being televised/recorded and otherwise observed. Royals were allowed some periods of private mourning because 24/7 coverage did not happen. In the past, the Royals had private time because no one expected 24/7 access.

In that aspect JFK was one of the very public, very televised coverage of lying in state, funeral procession, trip to Arlington that happened. I can't forget the stoic and stiff demeanor of the Kennedys, even Caroline and John-John. It was protocol to not have a public display of years or other actions.

But televised events stopped at midnight in the 60's. Newspapers were the social media of the day - once a day.

Princess Diana's funeral coverage was intense. The Queen was strict on protocol - it was damaging to Harry, he was that much younger, not given as much "training" as to what a future King should do and in my opinion needed more support than he got. But even then the immediacy and continuous reporting did not reach this intensity of scrutiny for Queen Elizabeth.

I'm reminded when a baby I'd taken care of for months died, and I told his mother I felt his loss as deeply as she did. She very directly and angrily told me until I had a child who died, I would never feel it as deeply as a parent. She was right, it was much different.

Very few people understand what is happening right now. Harry and William do they lost a mother, who was a royal and much loved by the public. They've been through it. But each of.us are judging, how the royal family is conducting themselves through our eyes. Some of us are proud of the way the family is showing "stiff upper lip" and following protocols as it gives them comfort. Some of us are pleased to see the Royals sharing grief by physical contact.

No one knows what it is like to lose Mummy, Grandmother and a monarchy all at once. Quite frankly the media and public need to STFU and let them grieve.
.
I remember the public yelling and screaming at the Queen for being so quiet at Diana’s death when they were trying to deal with two young boys who lost their mother. Screaming that she wasnt in London etc reports are she was trying to privately be with her devestated grandchildren.

It’s possible Harry wouldn’t have walked behind if it were not for that.

So I do think at times the public needs to understand they are morning an image and the members of the royal family are mourning an actual person.
 
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MacMadame

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But each of.us are judging, how the royal family is conducting themselves through our eyes.
Maybe you are but I am pretty sure the majority of people in the world aren't paying the least bit of attention to such things. Even if you just count people on FSU, many aren't watching, are reading very little about it, and don't care who held hands with who, who looked upset vs. stoic, etc.
 

ballettmaus

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Harry looks kind of tense around the shoulders in the video. I'm getting a tension headache just by looking at it.

I know he said people should focus on the Queen, it would still have been wrong had he been denied wearing the uniform and it was the right thing to allow to wear it.
 

once_upon

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I made the mistake of reading comments on a brief article about the Queen lying in state. Man, people really hate Meghan. I think it's the most vitriol I've ever seen directed at a person--and that's saying something.
It's like all the hate that was directed at Camilla is now on Meghan only amplified 10 x.
 

clairecloutier

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I made the mistake of reading comments on a brief article about the Queen lying in state. Man, people really hate Meghan. I think it's the most vitriol I've ever seen directed at a person--and that's saying something.

I thought Meghan looked really nervous when she & Harry did that walkabout thing with William & Kate. And no wonder. She was probably fearing the worst from the crowd. I'd have to imagine this whole mourning period is probably quite tense for her and Harry. :(
 

mattiecat13

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Meghan and Harry were only supposed to be away from their kids for a few days and it’s been two weeks since they left California. I’m a little surprised Meghan didn’t go back home before the funeral to be with the kids, though I suppose Harry wants her there with him for support.
 
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