Ashley Wagner reveals she was assaulted by John Coughlin

[insideedgeua]

You don’t need to be an investigative journalist to know that the wearing of hats was not Dalilah’s idea. The idea was proposed by a parent of a junior skater. It was all on public Facebook posts.

Remember, John took his life on the Friday. These skaters had one practice left before Nationals. They were in shock and dealing with grief. At the time they were mourning the death of a friend and mentor. They clearly had not seen the side of John that some women had seen.

After this one practice, everyone’s headed off to Nationals, still very much in grief mode it determined just to get through the week as best they could.

The hat idea was proposed by a parent on Facebook and she hastily came up with a plan to have the hats available at Nationals.

Whether people agreed with the tribute or not, whether it was well thought out or not, it was never Dalilah’s idea. Yes, she joined in, yes, she helped to pass out hats, but she wasn’t the driving force.

Some posters are determined not to let any facts get in the way of their opinions.

 

[VGThuy]

But Dalilah sure did not mind becoming the face of that. Some here have said some of her skaters were not comfortable wearing the hats, so who would have pressured them to do that? The ones wearing the hats came from Dalilah's camp. Did any other skaters from other coaching camps wear the hats? Also, I think people have more issue with Dalilah than the red hats, like her comments towards the victims afterwards.

 

[overedge]

It doesn't matter who had the original idea. Dalilah had the option not to participate in it. Or she could have worn a red hat herself and not handed them out. That she chose to wear the hat and to give them to her skaters means that she was fully in support of the idea regardless of where it came from.

 

[aftershocks]

I think people have more issue with Dalilah than the red hats, like her comments towards the victims afterwards.

'Having more issue with Dalilah' to what avail though @VGThuy? For the purposes of forming a lynch mob?

 

[overedge]

Remember, John took his life on the Friday. These skaters had one practice left before Nationals. They were in shock and dealing with grief. At the time they were mourning the death of a friend and mentor. They clearly had not seen the side of John that some women had seen.

He took his life after it became public that two complaints about his conduct had been filed with SafeSport and were being investigated. "These skaters" might not personally have seen that side of him, as in not being the complainants or having experienced similar behaviour from him themselves. But the fact that there were two active SafeSport investigations into his conduct should have suggested that there might be others in the skating community who were also going through a difficut time.

 

[nlloyd]

'Having more issue with Dalilah' to what avail though @VGThuy? For the purposes of forming a lynch mob?

Not @VGThuy, but as has been noted many times over the course of the different threads on this topic: for the purposes of ensuring that coaches:

• take seriously the work of SafeSport, the body mandated to protect the safety of US athletes;
• demonstrate respect for that body by giving due weight to its decisions (in this case, SafeSport's upgrading of Coughlin's status from restricted to interim suspension);
• show themselves aligned with the values of SafeSport, thereby enabling skaters - including their own - to feel comfortable approaching them with accounts of abuse or harassment;
• and in so doing, demonstrate in every way possible their commitment to meet their legal obligation to report any instance of harassment/abuse brought to their attention.

It's not about scapegoating Dalilah. It's about creating a culture in which skaters, parents, and fans understand, and can see visible manifested in the actions and words of coaches, the ethical parameters of the sport.

 

[insideedgeua]

He took his life after it became public that two complaints about his conduct had been filed with SafeSport and were being investigated. "These skaters" might not personally have seen that side of him, as in not being the complainants or having experienced similar behaviour from him themselves. But the fact that there were two active SafeSport investigations into his conduct should have suggested that there might be others in the skating community who were also going through a difficut time.

Easy to say, but for many, they couldn’t actually comprehend any of this at the time. In January, reports of what these allegations were, was also very sketchy. These skaters couldn’t believe this could possibly be true. It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t true, but at the time they weren’t able to process everything.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. But we are also talking about young people that most probably had never been through anything like this before. Even their parents and other adults around them were finding it difficult to handle. Would they change now what they did then? Possibly, but at the time they weren’t acting with malice towards anyone, they were grieving a sudden loss.

 

[aftershocks]

Not @VGThuy, but as has been noted many times over the course of the different threads on this topic: for the purposes of ensuring that coaches:

• take seriously the work of SafeSport, the body mandated to protect the safety of US athletes;
• demonstrate respect for that body by giving due weight to its decisions (in this case, SafeSport's upgrading of Coughlin's status from restricted to interim suspension);
• show themselves aligned with the values of SafeSport, thereby enabling skaters - including their own - to feel comfortable approaching them with accounts of abuse or harassment;
• and in so doing, demonstrate in every way possible their commitment to meet their legal obligation to report any instance of harassment/abuse brought to their attention.

It's not about scapegoating Dalilah. It's about creating a culture in which skaters, parents, and fans understand, and can see visible manifested in the actions and words of coaches, the ethical parameters of the sport.

Well said. My point is that striking out in anger and with venom constantly in this thread and on social media against reactions by people who have been grieving over the tragic death of a friend, serves no possible beneficial purpose.

What you have reasonably and thoughtfully outlined makes better sense than posters hurling malicious utterances at someone they claim has been malicious. You may not wish to scapegoat and blame Dalilah, but I'm not so sure that's the universal sentiment that's been expressed here.

The other part is trying to support and join with SafeSport to help them do the necessary work they do in the best and safest way possible for everyone involved.

 

[angi]

People seem to forget that Dalilah sat in the K&C wearing an indigo ribbon that is meant to raise awareness and show support of victims of "Crimes against targeted individuals of organized stalking and electronic harassment" which is what she viewed JC to be. She was publicly calling victims liars on her Facebook page and responded to everyone who left a comment suggesting JC was not a saint in a very aggressive and rude way. It doesn't matter if she didn't come up with the hats idea, she pushed them into her skaters' hands the second they sat in the K&C. She was also defending JC and denying any allegation can be true from the second the news broke. Her behavior as an adult who is supposed to be responsible for the safety and well-being of her skaters was appalling and at times it felt like she was almost bullying her skater to line up in support no matter what they even thought.
The fact that the USFS has done nothing about her behavior and doesn't find it disturbing enough to investigate (or at the very least suspicious, how many of the complaints had her involved as a person of interest? Judging by her behavior I'd suspect at least some were) is troubling, so I truly hope a huge investigative piece will be out in the near future and give USFS the shaking they seem to desperately need.

 

[RoseRed]

Dalilah's behaviour is the worst out of all of it for me. It's like I said at the time - she's a mandatory reporter, and after this, how could you possibly trust her to do that properly? It's really horrifying.

 

[Frau Muller]

I would love to see this turned into a piece of investigative journalism. Particularly with the Sappenfiled stuff and how USFS is acting. I think if it was written in a compelling enough manner that it blows up, USFS would have no choice but to do something. I wonder if there's any journalists wanting to take up the story...

Christine Brennan, please!

 

[hoptoad]

Dalilah's behaviour is the worst out of all of it for me. It's like I said at the time - she's a mandatory reporter, and after this, how could you possibly trust her to do that properly? It's really horrifying.

Exactly this. If Dalilah made a public statement now expressing her understanding of her responsibilities toward potential victims of harassment or assault, I wouldn't entirely believe her sincerity, but what does it say about US Figure Skating that they don't even require her to counter the impression she's given that she will not even give a fair hearing to such allegations?

To me is says the US Figure Skating just doesn't care and isn't taking the matter seriously.

 

[UGG]

Again, you are engaging in scorecard-keeping and punching back vindictively at what you perceive as vindictiveness by Sappenfield (her words and actions were most likely mainly motivated by grief and anguish). Sadly, you are only adding to the anger, grief, trauma, and confusion that everyone involved are suffering. Where and when does the overheated anger, anguish, sensationalizing, grandstanding and fingerpointing stop? Where and when does the healing begin?



Why? What would that possibly do for you? How would that help to solve anything? With this vengeful comment, your reactions are no better than what you have been accusing Sappenfield of.

Actually I’m just stating my opinion on a skating message board. I am pretty sure my posts aren’t causing trauma. I literally don’t care about a dead child molester.

 

[judiz]

All I am going to say is that people
are very good at hiding who they really are. I belong to several support groups for those who lost loved ones to suicide. You would not believe what many people discovered after the suicide. I heard of wives discovering their husbands had other families in different states, , found child porn on their computer, discovered embezzlements, drug abuse and other criminal activity.

 

[thvu]

What you have reasonably and thoughtfully outlined makes better sense than posters hurling malicious utterances at someone they claim has been malicious. You may not wish to scapegoat and blame Dalilah, but I'm not so sure that's the universal sentiment that's been expressed here.

Uhh... attacking victims that have come forward is malicious. Just FYI.

 

[Theoreticalgirl]

Going back to the news coverage for a hot sec:

Folks, if you are a journalist, investigation and research are journalistic practice by default. If you aren't doing that, you're just a glorified publicist. (Lookin' right at you, USFS Fan Zone.)

As people who are deeply invested in the minutae of skating, you will probably feel by default that this story isn't being covered enough. Figure skating is not a popular thing in the US, so it feels about right that there is a small handful of reporters on this beat.

Take a moment to realize that every time Brennan has published an update, a whole host of other publications have repeated her story, in addition to the regular news syndication process. Even a cursory Google news search shows much this story has been picked up. From a single reporter. Even Jere Longman, the lone other reporter on a regular figure skating beat and all the resources of the NYT, can't be bothered to do more reporting on this—even his work is heavily lifted from Brennan's research. That is incredible reach.

"But she's a columnist for USA Today!" you might say. Yes, she has a column. But AFAIK this isn't a part of her standard column reporting—it's ongoing investigative work. She has continued to cover the story when no one else has. There may be reasons why she hasn't chosen to bring it to a ProPublica or elsewhere (mission, resources, editorial/management culture, etc). That is a testament to the newsroom and leadership at USAT—still a highly respected, highly visible news outlet, and if you didn't hear, announced yesterday its parent corp was being acquired. It's becoming harder and harder to do this work, period.

It took about 7 months from Ashley going to USFS leadership to last week's story. This is not a speedy process where a reporter can dump a bunch of data into a spreadsheet, slap some graphics together, and call it a day. Unless you have a crystal ball (mine's in the shop), there is no way of knowing how this will unfold. We don't know who will step forward next, or what Brennan is working on. For all we know—and as skating fans, we know—this is merely the tip of the iceberg. There's that saying about the wheels of justice moving slowly, the same can be said for journalism. Give it time.

 

[aftershocks]

Yep, and everyone angrily pointing fingers is so perfect and without faults of any kind, morally upstanding, with nary a questionable nor a vengeful thought in their heads. What is terrible and tragic for everyone involved and for everyone who have suffered for many years will not be repaired through mob mentality and eye-for-an-eye retribution.

 

[Yazmeen]

It is a horrible situation...all the way around. John Coughlin killed himself in January 18, 2019. She did report after John had killed himself, and thus had no ability to refute the allegations.

John Coughlin had every right to tell his side of the story and defend himself, and he would have been given the opportunity to do so as the case progressed. Unfortunately, he chose another route, and the responsibility for that choice lies solely with him and no-one else. Claiming he now "can't defend himself" serves no purpose, except to shift the blame to his victims. The lack of a defense resides (and passed) with John alone.

And I don't care it if was a parent who came up with the red hats. Dalilah USED Nationals as her own personal platform for attempting to defend John and put her other students in uncomfortable positions when they should have been concentrating on their own skating and competing. There was no subtlety whatsoever in her pushing those hats into her skaters hands. She attempted to hijack an event for her own personal purposes, and that is wrong, period.

 

[PRlady]

Going back to the news coverage for a hot sec:

Folks, if you are a journalist, investigation and research are journalistic practice by default. If you aren't doing that, you're just a glorified publicist. (Lookin' right at you, USFS Fan Zone.)

As people who are deeply invested in the minutae of skating, you will probably feel by default that this story isn't being covered enough. Figure skating is not a popular thing in the US, so it feels about right that there is a small handful of reporters on this beat.

Take a moment to realize that every time Brennan has published an update, a whole host of other publications have repeated her story, in addition to the regular news syndication process. Even a cursory Google news search shows much this story has been picked up. From a single reporter. Even Jere Longman, the lone other reporter on a regular figure skating beat and all the resources of the NYT, can't be bothered to do more reporting on this—even his work is heavily lifted from Brennan's research. That is incredible reach.

"But she's a columnist for USA Today!" you might say. Yes, she has a column. But AFAIK this isn't a part of her standard column reporting—it's ongoing investigative work. She has continued to cover the story when no one else has. There may be reasons why she hasn't chosen to bring it to a ProPublica or elsewhere (mission, resources, editorial/management culture, etc). That is a testament to the newsroom and leadership at USAT—still a highly respected, highly visible news outlet, and if you didn't hear, announced yesterday its parent corp was being acquired. It's becoming harder and harder to do this work, period.

It took about 7 months from Ashley going to USFS leadership to last week's story. This is not a speedy process where a reporter can dump a bunch of data into a spreadsheet, slap some graphics together, and call it a day. Unless you have a crystal ball (mine's in the shop), there is no way of knowing how this will unfold. We don't know who will step forward next, or what Brennan is working on. For all we know—and as skating fans, we know—this is merely the tip of the iceberg. There's that saying about the wheels of justice moving slowly, the same can be said for journalism. Give it time.

Allow me to say that it is a pleasure to have someone else here with experience of intersection of journalism, PR and organizational CYA. You're exactly right. We could do so much worse than Brennan as a chronicler and investigator. Just because she was a Kwanatic twenty years ago (along with half the people here) doesn't make her unqualified to handle this very serious controversy.

 

[angi]

Yep, and everyone angrily pointing fingers is so perfect and without faults of any kind, morally upstanding, with nary a questionable nor a vengeful thought in their heads. What is terrible and tragic for everyone involved and for everyone who have suffered for many years will not be repaired through mob mentality and eye-for-an-eye retribution.

What exactly is "mob-mentality" about pointing out actions that happened? Everything we stated so far regarding Dalilah happened just as we described it on public platforms like her social media accounts and US Championship broadcast on MSNCB. It's not vengeful to want someone who is potentially complicit in horrible things to be held accountable by the organization that gives her credentials, it comes solely from wanting her current students to be safe and feel safe, and her behavior indicates they are anything but.

 

[Tavi]

You don’t need to be an investigative journalist to know that the wearing of hats was not Dalilah’s idea. The idea was proposed by a parent of a junior skater. It was all on public Facebook posts.

Remember, John took his life on the Friday. These skaters had one practice left before Nationals. They were in shock and dealing with grief. At the time they were mourning the death of a friend and mentor. They clearly had not seen the side of John that some women had seen.

After this one practice, everyone’s headed off to Nationals, still very much in grief mode it determined just to get through the week as best they could.

The hat idea was proposed by a parent on Facebook and she hastily came up with a plan to have the hats available at Nationals.

Whether people agreed with the tribute or not, whether it was well thought out or not, it was never Dalilah’s idea. Yes, she joined in, yes, she helped to pass out hats, but she wasn’t the driving force.

Some posters are determined not to let any facts get in the way of their opinions.

Since I’m rarely on Facebook I’m wondering if you would mind summarizing your memory of what was said about the hats on Facebook, and by whom? Was this a case where the parent just said, hey I’m going to arrange to have 20 KC Chiefs hats available at Nats for people who want to wear them, or was there a discussion?

I’m also curious as to whether you think there’s a problem with the culture of USFS, and if so, how you’d identify it.

 

[once_upon]

It is a horrible situation...all the way around. John Coughlin killed himself in January 18, 2019. She did report after John had killed himself, and thus had no ability to refute the allegations.

SHE DID TELL 2 PEOPLE AT THE TIME! ONE CONFIRMED HER ACCOUNT.
VICTIMS ARE SHAMED INTO NOT DOING ANYTHING MORE.
Just stop it

 

[aftershocks]

What exactly is "mob-mentality" about pointing out actions that happened? Everything we stated so far regarding Dalilah happened just as we described it on public platforms like her social media accounts and US Championship broadcast on MSNCB. It's not vengeful to want someone who is potentially complicit in horrible things to be held accountable by the organization that gives her credentials, it comes solely from wanting her current students to be safe and feel safe, and her behavior indicates they are anything but.

Re-read the thread carefully for the mob-mentality comments, or not as you choose.

I'm not sure there's any evidence that Sappenfield is 'complicit in horrible things.' She apparently lashed out ill-advisedly in anguish and grief, just as many people in this thread are lashing out emotionally for a variety of reasons.

Your last statement is rather loaded and somewhat confusing. You seem to be saying that vengeful comments in this thread are 'coming solely from wanting Sappenfield's current students to be safe...'

Pardon me, but someone saying in this thread, "I wish I could have seen Sappenfield’s face when she found out Ashley came forward as a survivor of JC’s sexual abuse," neither encourages nor expresses a desire for Sappenfield's "current students to be safe..."

In any case, anyone who feels uncomfortable and unsafe in Sappenfield's camp do not have to remain there. Similar to Ashley's recent example, such persons should open up, if not publicly, then to family and friends they trust, because talking about one's discomfort, confused emotions and fears is better than keeping emotions bottled up. Feeling physically and emotionally safe and secure is more important than staying in a situation where you feel threatened or uncomfortable. As well, SafeSport is also in place as a resource for anyone who doesn't feel safe. Angry comments in this thread won't lead to making anyone feel safe.

Meanwhile, I think it's best to refrain from trying to assess and characterize the feelings and emotions of young athletes most of us don't know, probably have never met, and aren't in personal contact with on a daily basis.

 

[insideedgeua]

Since I’m rarely on Facebook I’m wondering if you would mind summarizing your memory of what was said about the hats on Facebook, and by whom? Was this a case where the parent just said, hey I’m going to arrange to have 20 KC Chiefs hats available at Nats for people who want to wear them, or was there a discussion?

I’m also curious as to whether you think there’s a problem with the culture of USFS, and if so, how you’d identify it.

It was very quick and it was a parent suggesting and sorting it all out. It wasn’t a discussion asking others what they thought.

She just sort of put it out there and said she’d organise it. All in replies to herself on one post really. I won’t name her, I don’t believe she did it with anything other than good intentions, very quickly, in her own grief too.

If you knew who it was, it was all public and not hidden though.

I haven’t spoken to her lately so I can’t suggest how she views this in hindsight. My guess is that she had also never seen any other side to John. I can only suppose that it must be an awful position to be in.

There are no winners here. The only thing to do is look at what changes may be made moving forward.

 

[angi]

Re-read the thread carefully for the mob-mentality comments, or not as you choose.

I'm not sure there's any evidence that Sappenfield is 'complicit in horrible things.' She apparently lashed out ill-advisedly in anguish and grief, just as many people in this thread are lashing out emotionally for a variety of reasons.

I read this thread, for the most part, I've seen anger and despair which are understandable in this situation.

Unlike you, I don't believe "anguish and grief" are acceptable explanations for her behavior and I also don't think that those were the emotions she presented on-screen during US Championships.

 

[Barbara Manatee]

You don’t need to be an investigative journalist to know that the wearing of hats was not Dalilah’s idea. The idea was proposed by a parent of a junior skater. It was all on public Facebook posts.

Whether people agreed with the tribute or not, whether it was well thought out or not, it was never Dalilah’s idea. Yes, she joined in, yes, she helped to pass out hats, but she wasn’t the driving force.

That is no excuse. If anything it makes her behavior even more problematic. Dalilah is the coach. It is her responsibility to manage what goes on in the Kiss and Cry. If she doesn't have the judgement or the ability to shut down a parent's idea for a foolish stunt that will distract and upset her skaters and put them under unwelcome scrutiny at the most important competition of the year, she doesn't belong in the job.

 

[believed]

Unlike you, I don't believe "anguish and grief" are acceptable explanations for her behavior and I also don't think that those were the emotions she presented on-screen during US Championships.

I agree. Grief is not an excuse for bad behavior and it shouldn’t be in this case, especially, when her comments attacked the victims and blamed them for causing his death.

 

[AxelAnnie]

SHE DID TELL 2 PEOPLE AT THE TIME! ONE CONFIRMED HER ACCOUNT.
VICTIMS ARE SHAMED INTO NOT DOING ANYTHING MORE.
Just stop it

I think you need a little fact checking there buddy.

 

[Kasey]

I think you need a little fact checking there buddy.

No, perhaps YOU do. And then maybe get a soul installed, because you come across here as a totally heinous and heartless person.

 

[LeafOnTheWind]

I think you need a little fact checking there buddy.

I think you need to recheck. Ashley said she told 2 people at the time it happened but was afraid to tell anyone else. That is the fact.