Ashley Wagner reveals she was assaulted by John Coughlin

Status
Not open for further replies.

CaliSteve

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,114
You don’t need to be an investigative journalist to know that the wearing of hats was not Dalilah’s idea. The idea was proposed by a parent of a junior skater. It was all on public Facebook posts.

Remember, John took his life on the Friday. These skaters had one practice left before Nationals. They were in shock and dealing with grief. At the time they were mourning the death of a friend and mentor. They clearly had not seen the side of John that some women had seen.

After this one practice, everyone’s headed off to Nationals, still very much in grief mode it determined just to get through the week as best they could.

The hat idea was proposed by a parent on Facebook and she hastily came up with a plan to have the hats available at Nationals.

Whether people agreed with the tribute or not, whether it was well thought out or not, it was never Dalilah’s idea. Yes, she joined in, yes, she helped to pass out hats, but she wasn’t the driving force.

Some posters are determined not to let any facts get in the way of their opinions.

It really doesn't matter if its Daliah's idea or not. She was a very visible participant.
 
Last edited:

Tavi

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,233
It was very quick and it was a parent suggesting and sorting it all out. It wasn’t a discussion asking others what they thought.

She just sort of put it out there and said she’d organise it. All in replies to herself on one post really. I won’t name her, I don’t believe she did it with anything other than good intentions, very quickly, in her own grief too.

If you knew who it was, it was all public and not hidden though.

I haven’t spoken to her lately so I can’t suggest how she views this in hindsight. My guess is that she had also never seen any other side to John. I can only suppose that it must be an awful position to be in.

There are no winners here. The only thing to do is look at what changes may be made moving forward.

Thanks so much for your response, and no worries about not naming the parent. Because there were reports that the hats appeared to have been “forced” on some skaters (or at least that they looked uncomfortable in the kiss n cry), what I was really interested in was what specific message they were intended to convey, whether the plan had been discussed in advance with the skaters, and if they were allowed to freely choose whether to participate. From what you said, all we can conclude is that these things weren’t discussed in detail on Facebook when the parent proposed it.

I think in terms of moving forward, if one of the issues with USFS is that skaters feel they can’t speak up about things and that they have to fall in line with the accepted USFS position or acquiesce to their coach’s wishes for fear of retribution, then at least from the outside, this appears to be a teaching moment.
 

VGThuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
41,023
'Having more issue with Dalilah' to what avail though @VGThuy? For the purposes of forming a lynch mob?

My second clause of the same exact sentence you quoted already answered that question. People had issue with Dalilah herself attacking the victims herself and never apologizing or recognizing how wrong her actions could have been or how they could have undermined the entire process of sexual assault victims coming out.

As to why. There are a multitude of reasons. Some may be sexual assault survivors themselves and had to deal with their own Dalilahs. Some may simply sympathized with the victims and observed seriously bad behavior from a supposed adult in a position of power who chose to favor one former male student who had name recognition over a more powerless female one. Maybe some know how all this tends to go and saw Dalilah as part of the problem of enabling abuse and are truly appalled she has yet been reprimanded or had taken responsibility for her actions while still being in a position of authority and coaching children. This makes people question her ability to teach children and maybe makes some wonder what is she teaching young boys and young girls regarding acceptable behavior and what these children should do if they found themselves in a position to report. According to Dalilah’s actions, if it’s one of her favorite boys, you better keep your mouth shut you liar.

Yep, and everyone angrily pointing fingers is so perfect and without faults of any kind, morally upstanding, with nary a questionable nor a vengeful thought in their heads. What is terrible and tragic for everyone involved and for everyone who have suffered for many years will not be repaired through mob mentality and eye-for-an-eye retribution.

In order for a more restorative justice approach to occur, the perpetrator of the wrongdoing has to apologize and try to make things right with those who were victimized by their actions. Dalilah has not done any of that, so the victims have not received anything from her except her scorn as of yet. Right now you’re demanding the victims to forgive people who have enabled Coughlin and others like him when they have not received anything in return. These enablers then continued to victimize them by going on social media to call them liars and practically attempted to shame them and blame them for his death. You are asking way more from these victims than you are from the people who have caused harm to them.
 
Last edited:

aftershocks

Banned Member
Messages
17,317
I read this thread, for the most part, I've seen anger and despair which are understandable in this situation.

Unlike you, I don't believe "anguish and grief" are acceptable explanations for her behavior and I also don't think that those were the emotions she presented on-screen during US Championships.

None of us are guilt-free in this world. Apparently, all kinds of human reactions occur in the midst of tragedies of this magnitude. I don't personally feel comfortable jumping on bandwagons and rushing to judgment. I'm also not a psychologist, a mind reader, or an expert on body language and human behavior in the immediate aftermath of grievous loss. Especially not when human reactions and behavior occur not only in response to grievous loss, but also involve troubling accusations going back years that have come to light amidst a cultural environment of speaking truth about victimization that too often has been implicitly or explicitly or unwittingly condoned on a large scale. Another part of this is the overbearing and overwhelming fact that misogyny is deeply embedded in our culture and, sadly these days, epitomized by the current WH occupant.

I'm not sure there exists any 'acceptable explanations for human behavior,' when suddenly confronted with the aftermath of tragic loss and traumatic human interactions.


In recent news, there has been yet another tragic story of death, possibly via suicide and probably related to a former experience of sexual abuse. Saiorse Kennedy Hill, 22 (a granddaughter of RFK), was recently found dead of a 'suspected drug overdose.' In high school, she had written about dealing with overwhelming depression. She wrote of experiencing "... deep bouts of sadness that felt like a heavy boulder on my chest... My sense of well-being was already compromised, and I totally lost it after someone I knew and loved broke serious sexual boundaries with me. I did the worst thing a victim can do, and I pretended it hadn’t happened. This all became too much, and I attempted to take my own life."
 

skatfan

Well-Known Member
Messages
8,417
:respec: Allow me to say that it is a pleasure to have someone else here with experience of intersection of journalism, PR and organizational CYA. You're exactly right. We could do so much worse than Brennan as a chronicler and investigator. Just because she was a Kwanatic twenty years ago (along with half the people here) doesn't make her unqualified to handle this very serious controversy.
Agreed. Brennan has editors and lawyers who require her to document every piece of a story. Her stories are straight journalism. She’s covered sports for twenty years.
 

thvu

Usova's Apprentice
Messages
8,515
In any case, anyone who feels uncomfortable and unsafe in Sappenfield's camp do not have to remain there. Similar to Ashley's recent example, such persons should open up, if not publicly, then to family and friends they trust, because talking about one's discomfort, confused emotions and fears is better than keeping emotions bottled up. Feeling physically and emotionally safe and secure is more important than staying in a situation where you feel threatened or uncomfortable. As well, SafeSport is also in place as a resource for anyone who doesn't feel safe. Angry comments in this thread won't lead to making anyone feel safe.
This isn't for you, as you only like to hear yourself pontificate. The following is for anyone who might share your... point of view...

In situations like this, the concept of moral hazard should be incredibly important. How USFS responds and deals with the current situation will give a primer to current and future perpetrators of assault what they can/cannot do, what they can/cannot get away with. The same is true for the virulent supporters of those who are accused.

To condescend to others about avoiding "mob mentality" entirely misses the point. Punishing a bad actor like Sappenfield, who was calling into question the sanity of accusers, is important in preventing others from being abused. Not only should perpetrators see punishment, but so should those that shield and defend them. It's those that shield and defend perpetrators that help create and nurture an environment where abuse can happen.
 

VGThuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
41,023
I think it is disingenuous to simply tell skaters to just leave Dalilah’s camp if they feel unsafe. We all know how cultures of grooming and abuse happen, especially when it comes to very young children being brought up and taught certain values by adult supervisors and coaches. It’s always built up after years of a person or group of people get away with behavior that becomes increasingly aggressive behavior towards sexual assault victims. It’s never a simple matter of “love it or leave it.” To paint it as such does ignores the problem and why it’s important for organizational bodies and whole cultures to actually nip the problem in the bud and recognize how much of the problematic and dangerous attitudes are so seeped into the culture that it creates and encourages continued unsafe environments.
 

aftershocks

Banned Member
Messages
17,317
... Right now you’re demanding the victims to forgive people who have enabled Coughlin and others like him when they have not received anything in return. These enablers then continued to victimize them by going on social media to call them liars and practically attempted to shame them and blame them for his death. You are asking way more from these victims than you are from the people who have caused harm to them.

I'm personally not asking anything of victims. I am not directly involved, nor do I know any of them. I hope that they are receiving support that will enable them to move forward, out of the shadow of their pain and away from nightmares and feelings of being stuck forever in what happened to them.

As a fan of figure skating, I'm participating in conversations in this thread, and I'm asking questions and sharing my personal reactions in ways I hope are reasoned and thoughtful. I don't think fingerpointing and inflammatory accusations are helpful to trying to move toward a necessary healing process. I'm also suggesting that those of us who are not directly involved might benefit by examining our own lives, our own experiences, and our own human impulses and emotions, rather than engaging in angry reactions.

Shaming and blaming on all sides solves nothing. It might be helpful too if we all took into account that what has been happening is still a fluid and ongoing situation. Social media is probably not the best place to find resolution in any case, for such serious and ongoing traumatic occurrences. Most of us here are saddened and overwhelmed by the enormity of what has transpired and is continuing to transpire. Hopefully, these tragic events and revelations will lead toward needed and far-reaching change. But change never happens overnight.
 

Theoreticalgirl

your faves are problematic
Messages
1,361
:respec: Allow me to say that it is a pleasure to have someone else here with experience of intersection of journalism, PR and organizational CYA. You're exactly right. We could do so much worse than Brennan as a chronicler and investigator. Just because she was a Kwanatic twenty years ago (along with half the people here) doesn't make her unqualified to handle this very serious controversy.

Thanks! Glad to know some people get it as well.

About two seconds after I posted that, it occurred to me that I did not mention how Brennan's longterm involvement with skating makes her reporting more impactful. Relationship building is an important part of the investigative process, and for her, it's not just about being able to differentiate jumps/spins/etc (or calling them, as lesser writers have, "tricks"), there's the deeper understanding of the social/organizational/historical matters of the sport. Even if you don't like her writing, commend her for being able to stick to this beat for 25+ years.
 

AxelAnnie

Like a small boat on the ocean...
Messages
14,463
I think you need to recheck. Ashley said she told 2 people at the time it happened but was afraid to tell anyone else. That is the fact.
Ashley was 17 when it happened (Ashley is now 28). Who did she tell at the time? And what did they tell her to do? And then she waited until after John died to come forward. My point is that for eleven years Ashley, as she gained fame, stature, recognition in the sport, remained silent.

I think we all have a responsibility to protect each other.
 

aftershocks

Banned Member
Messages
17,317
This isn't for you, as you only like to hear yourself pontificate.

That's your perception. Continue lashing out and being judge and jury if it makes you feel empowered, or satisfies some other need or emotion you are experiencing. It's probably best to leave grudge-match emotions out of this conversation though.

I think it is disingenuous to simply tell skaters to just leave Dalilah’s camp if they feel unsafe.

I'm not telling anyone to do anything. Plus, I'm not in a position of power or authority involving any part of this terrible situation. I offered my observation only in response to claims by a poster that the lashing out in this thread is "coming solely from wanting Sappenfield's current students to feel safe." I don't think fingerpointing, and vindictive lashing out is a reaction that will help anyone feel safe whether it's coming from Sappenfield, or from irate fans on Internet forums and other social media platforms.

And for anyone who doesn't feel safe, no matter who they are, this tragedy has been a teachable moment. Especially after everything that has been happening, and everything that is being revealed, anyone who doesn't feel safe hopefully will be able to open up to someone so that they can receive emotional support, assistance and counsel. That's one of the reasons why Ashley Wagner has spoken out -- "to help the next generation" not have to go through what she experienced.
 

VGThuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
41,023
I'm personally not asking anything of victims. I am not directly involved, nor do I know any of them. I hope that they are receiving support that will enable them to move forward, out of the shadow of their pain and away from nightmares and feelings of being stuck forever in what happened to them.

As a fan of figure skating, I'm participating in conversations in this thread, and I'm asking questions and sharing my personal reactions in ways I hope are reasoned and thoughtful. I don't think fingerpointing and inflammatory accusations are helpful to trying to move toward a necessary healing process. I'm also suggesting that those of us who are not directly involved might benefit by examining our own lives, our own experiences, and our own human impulses and emotions, rather than engaging in angry reactions.

Shaming and blaming on all sides solves nothing. It might be helpful too if we all took into account that what has been happening is still a fluid and ongoing situation. Social media is probably not the best place to find resolution in any case, for such serious and ongoing traumatic occurrences. Most of us here are saddened and overwhelmed by the enormity of what has transpired and is continuing to transpire. Hopefully, these tragic events and revelations will lead toward needed and far-reaching change. But change never happens overnight.

I agree that simply shaming and blaming all sides resolves nothing, and I don't disagree with the notion that there might be some in twitter or wherever who are using this to go on crusades for their own vanity and ego. We're all human and self-reflecting and becoming more empathetic and flexible is always good. Having a deep capacity to forgive is great. Being able to understand why people would act out is model behavior we should emulate. All of that I agree with.

However, that being said, many genuinely feel that people like Dalilah cannot be ignored based on her actions that she has never apologized for or recognized as being wrong. This gives off an impression not only does she still feel it's ok but that the institutions of power that govern this sport support her. This is incredibly worrisome as this sport is made up of very young children who are learning from these coaches and whose safety are in the hands of these coaches and organizations. Dalilah, the USFS, and the entire culture of American figure skating that includes other coaches and authority figures, needs to take responsibility for how they aided, enabled, and perpetrated this culture of sexual and other types of abuse. Her red hat action where she physically forced hats on skaters in some cases despite some not feeling comfortable in a sport where skaters already are groomed to NEVER question authority figures and to fall in line or risk being blacklisted and low-balled in scores, Dalilah's continued comments demonizing the victims and calling them liars who were responsible for Coughlin's death, and her show of support towards Coughlin over Bridget who was also her student, sent incredibly damaging messages to everyone, especially young girls who are being taught by her, and reveals the sort of values she is bestowing on her very young and impressionable students (many of whom do not have full agency to decide to just leave her rink).
 

PRlady

Cowardly admin
Staff member
Messages
46,063
I tend to think those who currently have an issue with Brennan do so because they did not agree with her article about John and felt she was spreading “fake news”.

No, some don't like her Michelle vs Tara trope twenty years ago and some of her favoritism since. I think that's bogus because I don't know a sports reporter that is utterly objective about his/her faves in any sport, from Simone-worship in gymnastics to Federer-the-God in tennis to total jocksniffing in all the major US team sports. (I once saw a gaggle of sports reporters around Nats pitcher Max Scherzer, believe me that I was less obsequious and you're-so-wonderful when I once got to talk to my fave Yagudin.)

Also, she's not a former skater herself and she makes some technical errors. That doesn't mean that at the macro level she's not equipped to understand the politics of the sport.
 

VGThuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
41,023
Ashley was 17 when it happened (Ashley is now 28). Who did she tell at the time? And what did they tell her to do? And then she waited until after John died to come forward. My point is that for eleven years Ashley, as she gained fame, stature, recognition in the sport, remained silent.

I think we all have a responsibility to protect each other.

I don't get how you can get angry at Ashley for this after everyone has tried to educate you on why many sexual assault survivors wait years before they come out. Not only that, but you adopted a classic tactic of saying there's a group of "good victims" and there's a group of "bad victims" as a way to attack a skater you probably already disliked before any of this came out. You then used the gymnasts in the Larry Nassar/USAG case as examples of "good victims" despite the fact that most of them did not come out until MANY years after he committed his crimes against them. In some cases, like fifteen years later. The only difference between the gymnasts and Ashley was that Coughlin killed himself. She still has every right to share her story, especially since she is doing it to use her visibility and status to ensure no follow up to Coughlin will happen.

No, some don't like her Michelle vs Tara trope twenty years ago and some of her favoritism since. I think that's bogus because I don't know a sports reporter that is utterly objective about his/her faves in any sport, from Simone-worship in gymnastics to Federer-the-God in tennis to total jocksniffing in all the major US team sports. (I once saw a gaggle of sports reporters around Nats pitcher Max Scherzer, believe me that I was less obsequious and you're-so-wonderful when I once got to talk to my fave Yagudin.)

Also, she's not a former skater herself and she makes some technical errors. That doesn't mean that at the macro level she's not equipped to understand the politics of the sport.

Just speaking for myself, through her writing, I honestly don't think she's very smart. Many of her conclusory statements and analysis leaves a lot to be desired for me. Just my opinion.
 

Willin

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,606
@aftershocks I think my (and many others' points) are completely going over your head. Her actions are proven (there's screenshots of the FB posts/comments, video and pictures of the hats/ribbon at Nationals) and cannot be ignored if we want to talk about a culture of abuse and downplaying of reporting in USFS.

My issue with Brennan and the story has nothing to do with fake news - I think she's done an amazing job covering the story. My issue has more to do with the fact that it's USA Today. While USA Today is a widespread respectable publication, I think there are other publications where this story would cause a bigger splash.
 

okokok777

Well-Known Member
Messages
125
I would love to see this turned into a piece of investigative journalism. Particularly with the Sappenfiled stuff and how USFS is acting. I think if it was written in a compelling enough manner that it blows up, USFS would have no choice but to do something. I wonder if there's any journalists wanting to take up the story...

Things are happening behind the scene.

You don’t need to be an investigative journalist to know that the wearing of hats was not Dalilah’s idea. The idea was proposed by a parent of a junior skater. It was all on public Facebook posts.

Remember, John took his life on the Friday. These skaters had one practice left before Nationals. They were in shock and dealing with grief. At the time they were mourning the death of a friend and mentor. They clearly had not seen the side of John that some women had seen.

After this one practice, everyone’s headed off to Nationals, still very much in grief mode it determined just to get through the week as best they could.

The hat idea was proposed by a parent on Facebook and she hastily came up with a plan to have the hats available at Nationals.

Whether people agreed with the tribute or not, whether it was well thought out or not, it was never Dalilah’s idea. Yes, she joined in, yes, she helped to pass out hats, but she wasn’t the driving force.

Some posters are determined not to let any facts get in the way of their opinions.

It really doesn't matter if Daliah's idea or not. She was a very visible participant.


You are correct @insideedgeua - the hats were not originally Dalilah's idea. However, I agree with @CaliSteve. More over, the skaters who expressed discomfort did not feel pressured to wear those hats by that skating parent. They felt pressured by their coach. While I understand that Dalilah was (and is still) grieving, her behavior was reprehensible. There are also certain facts about the case that makes me especially frustrated with her actions.
 

Winnipeg

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,180
Creepy and really reprehensible

I wish she had exposed him then to prevent recurrence but I can totally understand why she chose not to take it further.
 

oleada

Well-Known Member
Messages
43,435
any case, anyone who feels uncomfortable and unsafe in Sappenfield's camp do not have to remain there. Similar to Ashley's recent example, such persons should open up, if not publicly, then to family and friends they trust, because talking about one's discomfort, confused emotions and fears is better than keeping emotions bottled up. Feeling physically and emotionally safe and secure is more important than staying in a situation where you feel threatened or uncomfortable. As well, SafeSport is also in place as a resource for anyone who doesn't feel safe. Angry comments in this thread won't lead to making anyone feel safe

Quite frankly, this is a horrible statement that puts the onus on the potential victims to feel safe. Some of Dalilah’s students are minors. “They can just leave?!” What a terribly ignorant statement to make. As a coach (and a mandated reporter), it is her responsibility to create a safe environment for her students. As a mandated reporter, I can lose my professional license as well as potentially face fines or imprisonment for failure to report. Lashing out at victims, claiming that the reports are false, defending John and forcing hats on her students makes it highly unlikely that she’d provide a safe environment for her students or take any allegations seriously, or make them feel supported if anything is happening.

ETA: Dalilah has also had plenty of time to apologize or backtrack but has said nothing. This hardly seems something out of grief.
 
Last edited:

MacMadame

Doing all the things
Messages
58,630
I tend to think those who currently have an issue with Brennan do so because they did not agree with her article about John and felt she was spreading “fake news”.
I think some people had issues with some of the reporting in her books and this led them to not consider her a serious journalist. And there is a stigma around sports reporters in general that causes many people not to take them seriously as journalists as well.

That said, if people really want some investigative journalism to take place, maybe looking for the "perfect" vessel to do that isn't the way to go. I think urging Brennan to dig even deeper might be a better approach. And if other journalists get the urge to also investigate, even better. The more the merrier IMO.
 

CaliSteve

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,114
Hopefully, these tragic events and revelations will lead toward needed and far-reaching change. But change never happens overnight.

I believe the intentions of the folks here are not to blame and shame people. They are expressing their built-up frustrations because they have been hopeful that things will change for a very long time. People should not have to feel "hopeful" in this situation. They have a right to have expectations.

Part of the problem in the FS culture is that they deal with these situations as an "inconvenient truth". They want to lay low until it blows over. That needs to stop.
 
Last edited:

Willin

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,606
Things are happening behind the scene.
I'd be curious to know more about this. If you aren't comfortable posting it, I would understand, but I would like some reassurance that something is being done, because knowing USFSA I have my sincere doubts.
 

wickedwitch

Well-Known Member
Messages
15,994
Delilah Sappenfeld lost me forever when she called Bridget "mentally ill." This wasnt lashing out in a moment of grief. It was shaming a former student of hers. Appalling.
Not that it makes it okay, but I don't think Bridget ever worked with Sappenfield. And where did she call her mentally ill? I know Modlin referred to her as unstable.
 

aftershocks

Banned Member
Messages
17,317
... many genuinely feel that people like Dalilah cannot be ignored based on her actions that she has never apologized for or recognized as being wrong. This gives off an impression not only does she still feel it's ok but that the institutions of power that govern this sport support her. This is incredibly worrisome as this sport is made up of very young children who are learning from these coaches and whose safety are in the hands of these coaches and organizations. Dalilah, the USFS, and the entire culture of American figure skating that includes other coaches and authority figures, needs to take responsibility for how they aided, enabled, and perpetrated this culture of sexual and other types of abuse.

As I mentioned earlier, everything that's been happening is still in the process of occurring, so maybe we can allow developments to move forward without joining a firing squad in the meantime. The point is: It's not just Dalilah. Singling her out for her regrettable comments in the aftermath of grief, or prior to that because she could not believe or didn't want to see that someone she loved and thought she knew had engaged in reprehensible behavior, solves nothing. Yes, it is the entire culture of figure skating, and the larger culture that are culpable, not just Dalilah. As I said earlier in this thread, if we truly reflect upon everything, even we as fs fans who are part of the larger culture, are also culpable in different ways, even if only in our thinking.

Unfortunately, it seems that some of the heated reactions in this thread are taking place because many of us are projecting outward, rather than making any effort to look deeper at our own culpability, no matter how small. I say this because when I recently reviewed a video of Coughlin and Namiotka from many years ago, I was confronted with how visibly thin she was. Did no one ask questions at the time? Didn't we all simply watch and enjoy the performance of this young pair and go on about our business? Did any of us slightly raise our eyebrows and wonder about the abnormal thinness of her frame, but then simply shrug our shoulders and turn away? I suppose some posters believe Dalilah is also solely responsible for contributing to or for not doing anything about Namiotka's eating disorder. ETA: Thanks to @wickedwitch for questioning the assumptions about who coached Namiotka/Coughlin, and thanks to @okokok777 for providing first-hand factual information that N/C were coached by Jeff DiGregorio at UDel.

Many fans were confused when Coughlin split with Yankowskas after their very successful and promising debut at Worlds, in order to skate with Caydee Denney who was 17 going on 18 at the time. Did anybody notice any red flags back then within the skating community? Didn't we as fans eventually move on and not examine the episode and its possible implications too closely? I suppose Dalilah is solely to blame for allowing that to happen too, despite no one else, including Denney's parents apparently, offering any objections or recognizing any warning signs. Someone probably should have asked more questions and probed Coughlin's motivations for making the switch more closely, instead of signaling that it was simply okay for him to switch to a younger partner. This, after an extremely successful Worlds debut with Yankowskas, a talented partner whom he had already invested time with and they had gained solid results that might have better benefited U.S. pairs in the long term.

... Her red hat action where she physically forced hats on skaters in some cases despite some not feeling comfortable in a sport where skaters already are groomed to NEVER question authority figures and to fall in line or risk being blacklisted and low-balled in scores, Dalilah's continued comments demonizing the victims and calling them liars who were responsible for Coughlin's death, and her show of support towards Coughlin over Bridget who was also her student, sent incredibly damaging messages to everyone, especially young girls who are being taught by her, and reveals the sort of values she is bestowing on her very young and impressionable students (many of whom do not have full agency to decide to just leave her rink).

The whole 'red hat' episode and how it occurred has been pointed out in this thread. Unless you have actually interviewed the skaters involved, it's probably a good idea to refrain from making assumptions about skaters' emotions. From what I recall, not every skater wore hats. And some skaters who were not coached by Dalilah wore hats. I would agree with the poster who expressed that the 'red hat' occurrence too might serve as a teachable moment, as we try to move forward and stop the blaming and fingerpointing.

Surely no one who doesn't wish to be there feels 'stuck' at Dalilah Sappenfield's rink, especially not after the diatribes in this thread. You are definitely bringing up major concerns, but they will not be solved on FSU, even though this can be a venue that may hopefully trigger larger, more productive and more responsible conversations to take place.

I believe top officials at U.S. figure skating need to seek outside expert advice and assistance. Hopefully, they might be able to gain assistance from someone who is an independent party who can volunteer their consultative services. I do not think U.S. figure skating are going to be able to handle the enormity of what has been taking place. This is certainly not a time for them to dig their heads deeper into the sand.

But neither is this 360 degrees turnaround climate in our country a time to revert to the scorched earth witch-hunt mentality depicted in Arthur Miller's The Crucible.
 
Last edited:

aftershocks

Banned Member
Messages
17,317
I think my (and many others' points) are completely going over your head. Her actions are proven (there's screenshots of the FB posts/comments, video and pictures of the hats/ribbon at Nationals) and cannot be ignored if we want to talk about a culture of abuse and downplaying of reporting in USFS.

You are apparently in possession of more knowledge about Sappenfield's behavior in the immediate aftermath, or prior to Coughlin's death than I am. Still, I am not going to rush to judgment without more concrete evidence of a desire on her part to knowingly cover-up reprehensible behavior by a former student. I am not going to attribute ulterior and nefarious motivations to someone without more detailed information.

The 'red hat' incident I already referred to in my previous post, and someone in-the-know has also discussed how it came about. As I said earlier, not every skater wore a hat, and some skaters not coached by Sappenfield wore hats. Without precise knowledge of individual skaters' thoughts and emotions surrounding the hats, let's not speculate. If you have specific, first-hand knowledge of exactly how one or more skaters felt, then deal in specifics rather than speculation based on screen shots.

I'm not sure what the issue is about Sappenfield wearing a ribbon at a time when she may have believed someone she cared about was being unfairly accused and targeted. If her motivations are actually proven to be suspect, that's a different story. Meanwhile, further developments are surely underway, although I hope it's all being handled responsibly and sensitively rather than in a reactionary and accusatory fashion.
 

overedge

Mayor of Carrot City
Messages
35,880
I'd be curious to know more about this. If you aren't comfortable posting it, I would understand, but I would like some reassurance that something is being done, because knowing USFSA I have my sincere doubts.

If the "behind the scenes" activity involves some sort of discipline for Sappenfield, the outcome needs to be public, since her actions and statements were public. The "handling it discreetly in private" approach is not going to fly.
 

Willin

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,606
@overedge Exactly. Even if it’s behind the scenes now it needs to be made public. Otherwise it looks like USFS is doing exactly nothing about the situation. And since all the evidence they are doing something I have is one anonymous internet post, I’m going to assume they’re still doing nothing until I have more information.
 

aftershocks

Banned Member
Messages
17,317
Not that it makes it okay, but I don't think Bridget ever worked with Sappenfield. And where did she call her mentally ill? I know Modlin referred to her as unstable.

Thanks for your input, which shows the problem with making assumptions, as has been happening in this thread. If Namiotka/Coughlin did not work with Sappenfield, do you know who their coach was?

I agree that making claims about what Sappenfield said, should be accompanied by links to where she made the statements being attributed to her.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top
Do Not Sell My Personal Information