Royalty Thread #10 -Archie Phase 2 - Bold and Bald Still

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mag

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@PDilemma ITA with your whole post. I too do not “hate” Meghan, and while I think much of what has happened and is causing them stress is self inflicted, no matter what the cause, I certainly hope they can work through it all and come out whole in the end. The irony is not lost on me that many of the problems are what has been reported William was concerned about.

Something has me really perplexed. Why are Harry and Meghan reading the tabloid press or social media crap? It is not as though they are standing in line at the supermarket and can’t avoid the headlines. They should have someone prescreening their social media comments and simply not read the gutter press. They say it is “all lies.” Then don’t read it and don’t dignify it with a comment. They can get their news from the reputable papers. Friends should be instructed that under no circumstances are they to comment to the press. That really seems like basic stuff to me. My only answer to this is that they are looking for an “other,” an enemy outside because it protects them from the hard look at themselves. They both appear to have pre existing conditions from prior to their marriage that now require their attention, and add to that marriage, baby, loss of a career, and an across the globe move, and it would be shocking if it was all sunshine and roses. I don’t think six weeks will be enough. Hopefully there is someone in the Royal family who recognizes that they need ongoing professional help and insists they get it. I don’t know who that would be. William and Kate seem like the obvious choice, but we know how that worked out last time. Charles, bless his heart, has not to my knowledge ever demonstrated an understanding of mental illness or the effects of stress on people and relationships.
 

AxelAnnie

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PDilemma

You make so many good points.
All while adjusting to life in a fish bowl and a new job that she didn't choose for herself and apparently doesn't much like.

But she did chose that for herself. That is the thing. I get she doesn't like it. But it is a little late for that. This is the buck up (and shut up) part. Their actions are IMO often incongruous with their words.

I suspect they both bit off more than they could chew. Changing countries, marriage, having a baby......each huge stressors. Even if they are all positive events, they are big changes.

They have all the resources in the world available to them. I can't imagine what they are thinking. Suing the tabloids is not the way to nirvana, privacy and a productive life.

Did Harry have these feelings of "existing not living" before Meghan?

As for doing something she DOES want to do..............there should be a gazillion things for her to chose from. She does not have the freedoms she had..........but a whole other world has opened up for her. She has the ability to affect real change and real results in the real world. A huge platform.

I hope they find their way.
 

Jenny

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I'm just kind of amazed that for all the complaints about how badly the press treats them and their wish for privacy that they'd offer so much personal information to a documentary crew. The media has jumped all over it picking the most personal quotes and repeating them everywhere. Some of the coverage is quite sympathetic, so perhaps "setting the record straight" was the aim of the documentary, but at the same time surely they must see that they are only feeding the flames here?

And that some of their own quotes actually confirm stories that were only rumours until now (the rift with William, how deep his issues are about his mother, her general unhappiness with everything), and in some ways give credibility to the very media that they are calling liars?

If they are that upset by what's being said about them then shut up already. Focus on the work - goodness just look at the coverage of his brother's Pakistan tour, professionally handled, lots of positive coverage for their causes and general happy diplomatic stories between the countries, and lots of pre-arranged photo opps that work for everyone. The whole thing was practically a how-to manual for royals.

The part where Meghan says that this doesn't happen in the US is so obvious I can believe she doesn't see it. She was not famous before she met Harry, not at all, so of course the tabloids left her alone. (And American tabloids don't do this?? Seriously? Not to you maybe, but certainly to countless others.) Any attention she did get before Harry was likely on the coattails of her more famous friends. And Harry should have seen this coming - all he and his family have been through, and the attention that every one of his girlfriends got before him.

And yet there's a way to do this. It won't always be great, there will be intrusions and stories you don't like, but most of it will be positive - about the causes, the babies and the tiaras, with plenty of quiet time and privacy because the press has enough to chew on, and the public gets to enjoy it too.

I get that Meghan and Harry have issues and I wish them well, but they've got to stop this or it's never going to end for them.
 

ryanj07

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Meghan and Harry aren’t perfect, nor should anyone expect them to be. My issue is that every minor thing they do is picked apart so much more than the other royals, I think that’s what Meghan meant when she said she “expected it to be fair.” She did not have years of grooming for royal life so of course it’s going to take her much more time to find her footing. Also, she and Harry aren’t expected to become King/Queen, which gives them more leeway to things differently.

Even the constant negativity on this thread from certain posters each time they are mentioned is too much... people just need to take a breath and focus on the good that’s being done instead of constantly piling on and tearing them down. It’s perfectly okay to prefer another royal couple... focus on that couple and channel your energy there instead of constantly criticizing and reinforcing a million ways Harry and Meghan fall short in your eyes. Just my opinion.
 

canbelto

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Meghan was lauded over and over and over and then lauded some more for having a career before marrying into the royal family. It made her better than Kate, better than Diana and better than any member ever in some corners of the press and social media. Except that Diana was 19 and most 19 year olds don't have careers. And Kate was saddled with the stigma and problems of being the girlfriend of a future king at the time that most people are establishing careers. Her job at Jigsaw ended not because she was not a good employee but because they concluded that the disruptions caused by her presence were not good for the company. So here was Meghan, the heroine with the career. She gave it up for this. I'm not sure she understood what this would be like. And it was a career that was demanding in time and energy. Television shows are long and consuming working hours. Plus she was pursuing other goals with her website, a clothing line, etc... Suddenly, she's basically got a part time job and one that she didn't really choose. She can't have side projects that profit. She can't have her website and her social media presence has to be carefully curated. She lost all of her professional pursuits in one fell swoop. She seems like an energetic person who prefers to be working and pursuing her own goals over other things (see the end of her first marriage--distance likely took a toll, so she chose the career). I know women like that. I know a woman who decided to quit work as a teacher after her first child was born. She had him in April, so her maternity leave extended into summer. She was losing her mind by the time the new school year started and wanted to be back at work. Things went awry with a new teacher at the school and by October she was happily back at work. It was the better place for her and she said herself, she was a better mother if she was able to pursue her own goals, too. She ended up being a principal later and had three more kids, too. There is nothing wrong with that. But having that personality is not a good fit for being in a royal family as a full time working royal.

As it happens I'm a teacher and I knew a mom of three kids whose "dream" was to buy a house, pay off the mortgage, and be a full time mom. So it happened. And she was miserable. She was used to waking up at 5 every morning, pumping milk for her babies, going to work, coming back. So of course she ended up coming back to work. She missed the structure and the sense of purpose of helping needy kids. As it turns out her husband was actually a much better fit for the staying at home, taking care of the kids part. And so thats what happened and it worked for them. He works part time, takes care of the kids, she gets up at 5 am to go to work. She's not a bad mom. She just needs a career. Nothing wrong with that.

I wonder if part of what Meghan is going through is that they checked off all the boxes of what couples were supposed to do in one year. Engaged, big dream wedding, pregnancy, baby, even two huge royal tours. And now it's like "what now?" Maybe being at Frogmore Cottage 24/7 with Harry isn't a piece of cake. He sounds like a somewhat difficult person to be with on a day to day basis. A lot of women after they have babies get tired of people assuming that the baby is all there is to life, and only wanting to talk about the baby. Not saying this is what's happening, but it sounds plausible.

Honestly it might be a good idea for Harry to go to therapy, and Meghan to spend 6 weeks doing some of the things she liked to do before marriage. If that means hang with Serena, hang with Serena. If that means working on a cookbook, work on a cookbook. I think the BRF life is a vortex and it's hard to keep your sense of self. Certainly Diana started acting out in ways not productive, and so did Sarah.
 

MsZem

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My impression is that Meghan wants to do the kind of work that requires a high profile (acting and now international humanitarian initiatives) but is unhappy about the loss of privacy this entails. I agree that she didn't experience it to the same extent in her acting career because she was successful but by no means a superstar.

They're going to have to find a way forward that allows them to coexist with the press; this antagonistic relationship is doing them no good, and as members of the BRF they'll never be able to live like completely private citizens. They can't even live like European royals who are farther from the throne (e.g. Princess Madeleine of Sweden). It's pure fantasy to pretend otherwise, and the sooner they can figure out how to make the best of what they have, the better off they'll be.
 

mag

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Here is a clip from a British morning show. I found it quite interesting listening to discussion of the Sussex’s documentary. The reporting seems quite fair and balanced and there are also some interesting points about how especially Camilla has dealt with the press. Meghan may think she has had it tough, but I don’t think anyone has had it worse than Camilla!

 

PDilemma

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Here is a clip from a British morning show. I found it quite interesting listening to discussion of the Sussex’s documentary. The reporting seems quite fair and balanced and there are also some interesting points about how especially Camilla has dealt with the press. Meghan may think she has had it tough, but I don’t think anyone has had it worse than Camilla!


I was looking around on youtube and elsewhere and couldn't find it, but I remember the CNN coverage of Charles and Camilla's wedding. It featured Kathy Griffin and it was absolutely vicious. I generally like her, but that was over the top. Mocking Camilla was considered absolutely okay in the media for a long, long time. In 2002, I went on a Beatles bus tour in Liverpool and the tour guide told nasty jokes about her. Everyone laughed.

And they gave Kate and derogatory nickname ("Waity Katie") and have relentlessly been after her parents as "social climbers" and claimed she spent her life trying to marry William (very odd that she had a boyfriend when they met, if she was focused on marrying him, why would she have been dating someone else?).

By comparison, the actual media's coverage of Meghan has been mild. And the U.S. media has been positively gushing to the point that it's nauseating. Today on yahoo there is a headline about Meghan's "sweet nickname" for Harry and an entire article gushing about how sweet it is that she apparently calls him "H". Which is, in terms of nicknames, not particularly sweet at all. It's just a nickname. Nothing wrong with it, of course, but nothing notably sweet about it.
 

Jenny

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And the U.S. media has been positively gushing to the point that it's nauseating. Today on yahoo there is a headline about Meghan's "sweet nickname" for Harry and an entire article gushing about how sweet it is that she apparently calls him "H". Which is, in terms of nicknames, not particularly sweet at all. It's just a nickname. Nothing wrong with it, of course, but nothing notably sweet about it.

Saw that too. I read US Weekly online (I know I know but I like a little celeb news just as much as the next gal) and they LOVE Meghan. A day doesn't go by (OK OK I check the site daily :shuffle:) that doesn't show at least one - sometimes several on the same day about what's she's wearing, her skincare, a timeline of her romance, and yes, her sweet nickname for Harry.

Maybe it's short for HRH (paging Gary Janetti! Although even he's been sorta nice in the past few days), or for Husband, like DH only just H now, or maybe that's why they named their son Archie because if you say H out loud there's sorta a similar sound, or maybe saying Harry out loud makes her giggle, or maybe he calls her M because it's like a Bond thing, or maybe it's a secret and oh so sweet tribute to Diana, who knows :)
 

Vagabond

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AND while I know it's a personal family matter I can't help but think Harry can do worse than spend some time with William repairing whatever needs to be repaired, and Meghan can maybe even reach out to Thomas Markle. I know families well enough to know that unless there's some egregious abuse, most relationships can be repaired and even having a distant but cordial relationship is often less emotional burden than being completely estranged.
Many distant and cordial relationships are estrangements where neither person is being openly hostile to the other. :shuffle:

None of us knows whether there was any abuse, but abuse within a family is much more common than many people realize and certainly not something that members of the Royal Family, including HRH the Duchess of Sussex, would be likely to talk about publicly if it ever happened.

Regardless, many relationships cannot be repaired until there is an apology, changed behavior, and a meaningful attempt to make up for past hurtful action. You cannot start over with a clean slate unless someone cleans the slate, and Thomas Markle has possession, custody, and control of this particular slate.

Thomas Markle betrayed his daughter's trust; he should make up for it. There is no reason why she should ignore what he did unless he apologizes and changes his ways.
 

mag

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Many distant and cordial relationships are estrangements where neither person is being openly hostile to the other. :shuffle:

None of us knows whether there was any abuse, but abuse within a family is much more common than many people realize and certainly not something that members of the Royal Family, including HRH the Duchess of Sussex, would be likely to talk about publicly if it ever happened.

Regardless, many relationships cannot be repaired until there is an apology, changed behavior, and a meaningful attempt to make up for past hurtful action. You cannot start over with a clean slate unless someone cleans the slate, and Thomas Markle has possession, custody, and control of this particular slate.

Thomas Markle betrayed his daughter's trust; he should make up for it. There is no reason why she should ignore what he did unless he apologizes and changes his ways.

I think you are only looking at half the story. Meghan and her father were not estranged prior to the wedding. She asked him to walk her down the aisle. Now she either did that in good faith or she did it knowing that he wouldn’t because they were estranged. I would assume at this point that she was acting in good faith and wanted him to be part of her big day. To suddenly speculate about abuse is uncalled for. Furthermore, I am fairly sure Mr. Markle did apologize in the Daily Mail interview. He says that he no longer has Meghan’s phone number so it will be a long wait if she is expecting him to call.

Second, Meghan allowed some very powerful people to malign her father in a very public way in People magazine. Mr. Markle may no longer be working in Hollywood, but she hit him hard right on his home turf. Now he has hit back on her new home turf. Both have shown poor judgement and extremely bad behaviour. Apologies are long over due from both sides.

This ongoing narrative that completely and totally discounts Mr. Markle’s side of the story and believes without question Meghan’s is disturbing. Mr. Markle may not be the most sympathetic person, but to suggest everything he says is untrue seems ridiculous. At the same time, I am not suggesting that it is all Meghan’s fault either. Both have responsibility in this dispute. Meghan does hold all the power and she can decide to reach out or not. It is her decision and only she can make it.
 

Vagabond

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Meghan and her father were not estranged prior to the wedding. She asked him to walk her down the aisle. Now she either did that in good faith or she did it knowing that he wouldn’t because they were estranged. I would assume at this point that she was acting in good faith and wanted him to be part of her big day. To suddenly speculate about abuse is uncalled for.
I wasn't speculating about abuse. Another poster was assuming that there wasn't. And you are assuming that Meghan's understanding of and feelings about the past could not have been changed by things that occurred subsequent to asking her father to walk her down the aisle.

Second, Meghan allowed some very powerful people to malign her father in a very public way in People magazine.
And now you are making the assumption that she allowed them. to do so.

This ongoing narrative that completely and totally discounts Mr. Markle’s side of the story and believes without question Meghan’s is disturbing. Mr. Markle may not be the most sympathetic person, but to suggest everything he says is untrue seems ridiculous.
It seems beyond dispute that he gave the press personal correspondence from his daughter without her permission. I don't know what he says about her, but I would be surprised if he has any good justification for violating her trust.
 

mag

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And now you are making the assumption that she allowed them. to do so.

No, I am not. Are you actually suggesting that they somehow found out about the letter she wrote her father, read the contents of it, and then spoke to People Magazine all without her knowledge?

It seems beyond dispute that he gave the press personal correspondence from his daughter without her permission. I don't know what he says about her, but I would be surprised if he has any good justification for violating her trust.

See above. Her friends mentioned the letter and paraphrased from it in People. They are both accusing each other of selectively releasing the parts of the letter that show them in a favourable light. They are both claiming the other violated their trust. It is the whole apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Both have behaved badly, both have spoken out of turn, and both are responsible. My only point is that Mr. Markle has now said that he has no way to contact Meghan so if she wants to talk the ball is in her court. I have no idea if she wants to or not. That is up to her.

ETA: Here is a write up on the issue. I am not a lawyer and have no opinion on who will win the suit. I just don’t think there is one victim and one bad guy. It is way messier and more complicated than that.

 
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loopey

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Meghan and Harry aren’t perfect, nor should anyone expect them to be. My issue is that every minor thing they do is picked apart so much more than the other royals, I think that’s what Meghan meant when she said she “expected it to be fair.” She did not have years of grooming for royal life so of course it’s going to take her much more time to find her footing. Also, she and Harry aren’t expected to become King/Queen, which gives them more leeway to things differently.

Even the constant negativity on this thread from certain posters each time they are mentioned is too much... people just need to take a breath and focus on the good that’s being done instead of constantly piling on and tearing them down. It’s perfectly okay to prefer another royal couple... focus on that couple and channel your energy there instead of constantly criticizing and reinforcing a million ways Harry and Meghan fall short in your eyes. Just my opinion.
^This.

And I'll add: that IMO Harry needs a great deal of help. If EVERY flash reminds him of the death of his mother, then IMO he should seek help.

(Aside from that, IMO he also needs to mature).
 

MsZem

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skatesindreams

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Meghan and Harry aren’t perfect, nor should anyone expect them to be. My issue is that every minor thing they do is picked apart so much more than the other royals, I think that’s what Meghan meant when she said she “expected it to be fair.” She did not have years of grooming for royal life so of course it’s going to take her much more time to find her footing. Also, she and Harry aren’t expected to become King/Queen, which gives them more leeway to things differently.

Even the constant negativity on this thread from certain posters each time they are mentioned is too much... people just need to take a breath and focus on the good that’s being done instead of constantly piling on and tearing them down. It’s perfectly okay to prefer another royal couple... focus on that couple and channel your energy there instead of constantly criticizing and reinforcing a million ways Harry and Meghan fall short in your eyes. Just my opinion.
This speaks for me.

I am sorry that they have found it necessary to "withdraw", even temporarily.

They can address issues; and approach them in ways that others cannot.
I hope they can find the balance they seek.
 

floskate

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I've been appalled for some time at the vitriol poured over Meghan here in the UK on an almost daily basis. Not saying they've handled this in the best way but her press coverage is NOT fair; she's right about that.

What upset me most this past weekend is the double standard shown from the media and the public in regard to mental health in this country. We have an army of z-listers queuing up to dish the exclusive on their latest battle with depression or their close brush with suicide (I'm not belittling here but these kinds of stories are almost daily on daytime TV and in the papers over here). Every time they are applauded for speaking out and lauded for their bravery and the positive impact this will have on breaking the taboos surrounding mental health in the UK. Couldn't agree more.

Then we see a clearly unwell Harry and Meghan admit that they are struggling to cope with the relentless pressure they are under and being incredibly honest about the state of their mental health and the negative impact this is having and I've seen mostly negativity in response. "Errr sorry not you two. We paid for you so we own you now get back in your golden cage and keep waving bitches!" That seems to be the mentality.

As someone who continues to struggle with my mental health and who has been unable to work for almost a year now, it grieves me to see the two people who could do more for mental health in this country than any other be dismissed in this way. They need time and space and Harry in particular needs help and quickly. And maybe William could do the decent thing and go see Harry rather than make sure all the press get to know that he's "worried".
 

antmanb

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I've been appalled for some time at the vitriol poured over Meghan here in the UK on an almost daily basis. Not saying they've handled this in the best way but her press coverage is NOT fair; she's right about that.

What upset me most this past weekend is the double standard shown from the media and the public in regard to mental health in this country. We have an army of z-listers queuing up to dish the exclusive on their latest battle with depression or their close brush with suicide (I'm not belittling here but these kinds of stories are almost daily on daytime TV and in the papers over here). Every time they are applauded for speaking out and lauded for their bravery and the positive impact this will have on breaking the taboos surrounding mental health in the UK. Couldn't agree more.

Then we see a clearly unwell Harry and Meghan admit that they are struggling to cope with the relentless pressure they are under and being incredibly honest about the state of their mental health and the negative impact this is having and I've seen mostly negativity in response. "Errr sorry not you two. We paid for you so we own you now get back in your golden cage and keep waving bitches!" That seems to be the mentality.

As someone who continues to struggle with my mental health and who has been unable to work for almost a year now, it grieves me to see the two people who could do more for mental health in this country than any other be dismissed in this way. They need time and space and Harry in particular needs help and quickly. And maybe William could do the decent thing and go see Harry rather than make sure all the press get to know that he's "worried".

I couldn't agree more with this whole post. And I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling.

I think it's absolutely disgusting that while Jeremy Kyle was taken off air and stopped after one suicide associated with the show was brought to light, ITV's cash cow of Love Island has had three suicides associated with it, but there is not a chance in hell they're going to pull that cash cow from their listings.

It's exactly as you say - there's a lot of lip service paid to mental health but when there's money involved (the sale of tabloids, or advertising around a hit TV show), none of the powers that be care.
 
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taf2002

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^This.

And I'll add: that IMO Harry needs a great deal of help. If EVERY flash reminds him of the death of his mother, then IMO he should seek help.

(Aside from that, IMO he also needs to mature).

I'm not a psychiatrist but I've heard that traumatic events can make a person kind of "frozen in time" in some ways. I agree he needs help. I thought he got it some time ago when he opened up about his feelings re his mother's death. But clearly he needs more.

How is what Meghan has been through worse than what Kate, Camilla, Fergie and Diana went through?

They didn't have racial slurs on top of the other crap. And none of them had Piers Morgan saying the most awful things about them & getting away with it. He's the one they ought to sue. I was glad to see Dan Walker (host on BBC) slam Piers for his constant sniping at Meghan: “Imagine being given a TV show & a newspaper column & using them both to pick on a woman who didn’t want to go out for a second drink with you.”
 

Lorac

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And maybe William could do the decent thing and go see Harry rather than make sure all the press get to know that he's "worried".

I agree with your post @floskate in its entirety but wanted to address the last little bit. From some reporting i saw today online it appears that the brothers have spoken since the documentary. Whether that is in person or over the phone I have no idea. But that could be where the 'worried' quote came from. Apparently William didn't see the entire documentary until it was broadcast so had no idea what Harry was going to say. Hopefully William saw past the 'different paths' and 'good day bad day's ' comments and focused at the bit most press ignored. That Harry said he would always be there for William as he knew William would be there for him and that he (Harry) said he loved him (William).

On watching that bit of the documentary again that really looked like a cry for help. Hopefully William saw that and in talking to his brother is trying to offer help in whatever way he can.
 

Lorac

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I'm not a psychiatrist but I've heard that traumatic events can make a person kind of "frozen in time" in some ways. I agree he needs help. I thought he got it some time ago when he opened up about his feelings re his mother's death. But clearly he needs more.

On the BBC news this morning a former press secretary of the Queen was being interviewed. He added something I had forgotten- Harry did 2 tours of duty in Afghanistan. We have no idea what he saw out there but that could also be impacting him as well. The 'clicking' and 'flashing could be associated with incidents in Afghanistan that then bring up his mother and how she died. Regardless Harry clearly needs some professional help.

They didn't have racial slurs on top of the other crap. And none of them had Piers Morgan saying the most awful things about them & getting away with it. He's the one they ought to sue. I was glad to see Dan Walker (host on BBC) slam Piers for his constant sniping at Meghan: “Imagine being given a TV show & a newspaper column & using them both to pick on a woman who didn’t want to go out for a second drink with you.”

The less said about Piers Morgan the better. Horrible man.
 

floskate

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Piers Morgan has done more to whip up the hate against them both than anyone else IMO. So he feels used by her....deal with it. There's no way that sad excuse for a human being got where he did without trampling on multiple people on the way up. People in glass houses...

Jeremy Vine is more passive aggressive but Meghan is almost a daily discussion topic on his programme and while he always prefaces it by saying he loves her, he makes sure Lizzy Cundy is in the wings (Meghan apparently ghosted her too), to wield the passive aggressive hatchet along with hard line critics and callers towing the Daily Fail comments section point of view. It's all sooooo biased.

@Lorac regardless of whether William has been in contact or not, the very obvious press leak yesterday over his being "worried" left a bad taste in my mouth. Damage limitation because Harry basically called him out over their rift in front of the entire nation.
 
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