Truly Awful Gifts (Christmas and otherwise)

[Ageless]

I just saw one in a commercial on the Food Network! i had no idea! The things you learn on FSU.

I love this thread too. Puts everything in perspective.

Here's some history on the pickle ornament.
http://www.whychristmas.com/customs/christmaspickle.shtml

 

[Cachoo]

I say be happy with your iron because my ex-husband never gave me anything for Christmas (and neither did his dad or brothers to their wives).

He also continued the nice tradition when it comes to our daughter. Every year I take my daughter to spend Christmas and New Years with my family in Germany, but two years ago my ex-husband guilted me into staying in London because "it wasn't fair that I was taking her away from him every Christmas". Fair enough, so I changed all our plans and we stayed. My ex-husband then got so drunk on Christmas eve that he forgot about Christmas altogether and switched off his phone on Christmas day. Not only did he not come over or even call to wish his daughter Merry Christmas, but he also never even bothered to give her a gift or even a card. I don't actually remember him ever buying her a Christmas gift.

You know those plastic, weightless mallets and the game "Whack-a-Mole?" I sort of would enjoy seeing him as the mole. Thank God your daughter has you.

 

[JanetB]

My paternal Grandmother was a compulsive shopper and a hoarder who never saw an ugly flannelette nightie she could resist. For about 5 years running in 1980's, my mother and I both received the same ugly pale yellow floral flannelette nightie, which means she purchased 10 of these nightgowns.

 

[Rob]

Was it this?

OMG, I am going to have that voice stuck in my head. Born to be Aliiiiive!

 

[TwinnerA]

A half slip is a slip from waist down. It preserves modesty. A full slip is chest down.

At one time women wore them under ev ery dress or skirt. Then you dont see under garment lines. They are harder to find now. When I was a kid there would be at least one full rack in every department store!

I don't have any crummy gift stories, but I do have a dresser drawer full of half slips! Black ones, white ones, off-white ones, full ones, narrow ones, long ones and really short ones! I haven't worn dresses or skirts to work since the 1990's, so I don't know why I don't just get rid of them and free up some space! As I recall, JC Penney had a great selection of slips!

 

[Cachoo]

OMG, I am going to have that voice stuck in my head. Born to be Aliiiiive!

I saw that video and recognized it as a "maggot" my niece received years ago. My sister hated it.

 

[twinsissv]

When you're about ten years old and shy, and your seventeen-months-younger sister is exactly your height, has exactly your hair and eye colour, and even looks a lot like you, and you've been bullied for months at school about how you MUST be lying that you're not twins, the absolute last thing you want to open on Christmas morning?

MATCHING. CLOTHES.

I adore my father's parents, but that was possibly the worst thing they could have given us for Christmas. Fortunately, someone must have had a quiet word with them, and the next year, we got books. Different books. (Actually, I think that year I was given Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, my introduction to that series.)

Yeah...but twins are good!

 

[skatesindreams]

I think him being your ex-husband is a gift in itself!

I was about to ask if any of this was why he was your "ex"!

 

[smurfy]

Fun thread.

My brother, when a teenager & paper carrier - one of the home owners gave him a soap on a rope. We had fun teasing him.

Re -half slip. I hardly wear dresses. I have a couple of rayon dresses, and need a new half slip earlier this year. Had a heck of a time finding one. Lots of spanx. But I was going on a cruise and wearing sundresses - spanx seems way to hot.
To wear one of the dresses without a slip - the static and just the way it hangs.
I did find one finally.

 

[Aerobicidal]

I've received some very strange gifts from students over the years, including an ice cream scoop, a T-shirt with a fair isle pattern that--when examined closely--was actually reindeers having sex (the curse of having students who thought I was cool), a three-foot orange alien stuffed toy, a fluffy Chewbacca head that sounded like him when squeezed (and I am far from a Star Wars fan), a desktop garbage can that said "Push It" on the lid (I always imagined it was an ode to Salt'n'Pepa), a car ice/snow scraper attached to a fair isle mitten, One Direction trading cards with a 3-D figure of the one whose name is Zayn or something similarly gay porn-esque, etc.

I guess one lesson is that I might want to wear fair isle a bit less frequently!

When I was a teenager, my two younger brothers always refused to provide gift lists to our relatives, so eventually I started making ironic lists for them. My brother recently reminded me that one year he received a Christina Aguilera CD from my grandmother (who didn't know the list was ironic) and a large container of Williams-Sonoma mulling spices from my aunt (who did know it was ironic). The tragic thing is that I would have loved those mulling spices or almost anything else from the Williams-Sonoma and Dean and Deluca catalogues I obsessively read when I was in middle and high school.

 

[Japanfan]

This is probably going to sound nasty, but I actually wish there was more permission to not exchange gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I'm immensely grateful that I don't exchange gifts with my family or my husband's family for Christmas.

But birthday presents are an issue. I celebrate my birthdays with a couple who always buys a gift and on top of that, always find the perfect gift. And share birthday dinners with three other friends, which is a tradition I've come to cherish - excepting the insistence on gifts. This year I was given a $50.00 Pay Pal deposit for my birthday from two friends, and I felt it put a price tag on our birthdays, and obligated me to reciprocate, which means I need to figure out what to buy and go shopping. Usually it's shopping at a big box store because that is all there is nearby. And sometimes money is tight, too.

It looks to me like people commonly spend money on stuff that other people don't even want, just because they are supposed to. Like bread-makers a person will use once and then retire. The good thing about that is that I can find so many things I want or need at Value Village. Espresso makers being one such item - we usually have a collection on hand in case one breaks down.

I think it would be rude to suggest an end to this gift-giving, because I know it makes people happy. Sometimes I do have a special gift in mind for someone - one friend shares my taste in books, which is handy - and am delighted to give it. But that's different than obligatory gift-giving.

Thank goodness I don't have children. I would find the demands that kids' birthday parties placed on me to be rather onerous. Some kids have a troop of 30 in their social circle. That's a lot of parties and presents.

 

[paskatefan]

I taught Hebrew School for many years. For Chanukah we would have polyanna exchanges for a very modest gift (in the $2.00 range/limit). After a while, most off the teachers decided to do away with that because we figured that the kids would be receiving tons of stuff anyway. Instead, we asked the kids to bring in new/gently used books/toys to be given to needy Jewish children who probably would otherwise not receive anything for Chanukah. I'm so glad we went in that direction and that the kids got to focus on other, much needier kids for a change.

Re: half slips - they are hard to find. I went to several stores until I finally managed to pick up some news ones in the lingerie department of Sears. as I still wear them with my dresses & skirts that don't have built in ones. I find the "body-shapers" too bulky.

 

[Rob]

We had one of those Holiday gift exchange games at work. One guy totally forgot to get a gift so he went to the closest store to the office and bought....2 books of postage stamps. The stamps were in a gift bag, and they were picked early in the exchange. They became the coveted item. Of course, everyone needs stamps for holiday cards, and no-one wants to go to the post office so people gave up bottles of wine and chocolates and some really nice gifts to get those stamps. What sounded like a dumb gift turned out to be the life of the party.

 

[Habs]

We had one of those Holiday gift exchange games at work. One guy totally forgot to get a gift so he went to the closest store to the office and bought....2 books of postage stamps. The stamps were in a gift bag, and they were picked early in the exchange. They became the coveted item. Of course, everyone needs stamps for holiday cards, and no-one wants to go to the post office so people gave up bottles of wine and chocolates and some really nice gifts to get those stamps. What sounded like a dumb gift turned out to be the life of the party.

The most coveted gifts at my office gift exchange are always stationary and office supplies. Stamps, packages of pens, fancy notebooks, you name it. That's what people want! Last year I bought a 20-pack of multi-coloured Sharpies and we were sure there was going to be a fist fight over them.

 

[quartz]

The gift exchange at the college always ends up with people chasing each other around the room for the booze gifts. Always.

 

[Aussie Willy]

This is not about a gift specifically but last night the choir I attended did a Kris Kringle. I didn't take part in the present thing but sat in the circle where they passed the presents around. But the funny thing was the person running told a story and if she said "right" you passed the present to the right and if she said "left" you passed the present to the left. It was hilarious because the lefts and rights came very quickly.

 

[Cachoo]

My dad gave my mom a toilet seat cover their first valentine's day together He got much better at gift giving over the years, thankfully.

My brother once gave me a box of candy that was so stale I couldn't even bite into it. I've never let him forget that one

A toilet seat cover? That is hilarious. Please tell me it wasn't clear plastic filled with coins.

 

[Aussie Willy]

I have to add to this thread. There is an ex-boyfriend from over 20 years ago who last year I kind of reconnected with but then decided I really was not interested in any further contact (and stated this quite clearly to him that I just wasn't interested in having anything further to do with him, even as a friend). It really was time to move on.

Anyway last night I received a toy monkey from him sent by post. WTF??? With an invitation to have lunch with him stating a date and time and that he would be there, but did understand if I didn't turn up. I have no desire to see this person ever again but why he thought it was appropriate to send a 49 year woman a stuffed toy is beyond me.

 

[skatesindreams]

That only confirms why you don't want any further contact with him!

 

[Aussie Willy]

That only confirms why you don't want any further contact with him!

Exactly!