Gracie Gold in treatment for eating disorder, depression

[Vagabond]

@skatepixie When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!

 

[Tinami Amori]

I'm not accusing her of lying. Not by a long shot. But I do think she's playing a strategic game, and I don't think its especially brave.

I don’t think you implied that Gracie is lying about her condition.

From you posts I understood that you meant the following: (in my own words) Gracie has several conditions which most people don’t like to expose (ED, anxiety, depression). So she must have a strategic reason to be so self-denigrating and admit to have several conditions which are stigmatized in the society; that most people don’t like to expose such private problems and would use more general terms (health issues, personal issues, etc.).

Other posters praise Gracie’s honesty, because in their view she is doing society and skating community a favor, teaching them that such issues exist and setting an example how they should be brought into the open.

Well, I don’t think she is listing her issues to do an expose and to do “skating community a favor”, or that she has a “strategy”. I have another "theory for her reasons".

I think she stated all her issues as an “apology to her fans and federation”: I am not withdrawing on a whim, please don’t think that I had a choice and chose to abandon skating! Here is what I am dealing with! Please understand, it is serious!”

 

[MsZem]

Other posters praise Gracie’s honesty, because in their view she is doing society and skating community a favor, teaching them that such issues exist and setting an example how they should be brought into the open.

Well, I don’t think she is listing her issues to do an expose and to do “skating community a favor”, or that she has a “strategy”. I have another "theory for her reasons".

I think she stated all her issues as an “apology to her fans and federation”: I am not withdrawing on a whim, please don’t think that I had a choice and chose to abandon skating! Here is what I am dealing with! Please understand, it is serious!”

None of us know Gracie well enough to speculate about her reasoning, but I don't think it's mutually exclusive that she wanted to be honest and forthright while also wanting to make it clear to her supporters that she has serious and compelling reasons to WD from her events. Withdrawing due to mental health issues should be seen as no different than withdrawing for any other health-related reasons. Anything less forthright would have only led to more speculation while also signalling that she was ashamed of what she was dealing with.

 

[Tinami Amori]

None of us know Gracie well enough to speculate about her reasoning, but I don't think it's mutually exclusive that she wanted to be honest and forthright while also wanting to make it clear to her supporters that she has serious and compelling reasons to WD from her events. Withdrawing due to mental health issues should be seen as no different than withdrawing for any other health-related reasons. Anything less forthright would have only led to more speculation while also signalling that she was ashamed of what she was dealing with.

Are you trying to regulate how individual people should "see" a particular situation? People have a right to see "it" anyway they chose to, and say so if they want to. If you want to preach what is the right way of "thinking" or "seeing", do find some kind of congregation which agrees with you.

Based on her many interviews (video and print), her facial expressions, her tone, her body language, her wording, i think Gracie is giving the details as a heart-felt apology and does not want to disappoint her fans and Federation "I am not leaving skating on a whim, I love skating, but i have good reasons, please try to understand!".

 

[bardtoob]

I think she stated all her issues as an “apology to her fans and federation”: I am not withdrawing on a whim, please don’t think that I had a choice and chose to abandon skating! Here is what I am dealing with! Please understand, it is serious!”

This is very reasonable.

 

[skatepixie]

Ah, so "frank discussion" means somebody insisting "it's naive to think the announcement was anything other than a money focused move" even though they admit they "don't know how bad her situation is" because it isn't their business really.

I agree with the last part 100%, but the first part feels less like "frank discussion" and more like "somebody is being a bit of a jerk and talking out of their ass and trying to paint it as being a brave truth-teller with superior insight into a situation they admitted they don't really know about." While exhibiting some sympathy or goodwill is "being naive" and people like that should stay out of the discussion, of course, because internet is only for the jaded and the cynical jerks who want to spread that kind of negativity around.

What's naive is thinking no one will disagree with you, and thinking that a celebrity won't make announcements in such a way as will be to her greatest benefit. Which includes making sure she is seen in the best light possible -- and, to many here, that means motives can't even be questioned, which is strange to me. Apparently, I have stumbled upon FSU's one and only sacred cow.

The way in which a skater who has no realistic chance of competing and competing well, and hasn't for a while, decides to announce that she won't be competing is a major strategic decision. And it's trendy now to be rather open about mental health issues and other difficult things -- a bit more open than I personally find tasteful, though others have the right to disagree. With physical injuries it makes a bit more sense to disclose because things are a bit more cut and dried -- "I have XYZ tendon issue, can return to the ice in X weeks, and hope to be at Nationals, thank you all."

Maybe it is cultural values and differences between me and other posters. However, I do think that if it's made public, the nature of the announcement becomes up for public discussion as a natural and inevitable consequence.

I don't think anyone should stay out of the conversation, unless they have a mental illness that would be negatively impacted or something similar. That was my response to the whole "we've had members with these problems" issue.

 

[kittyjake5]

Why is this thread still open? When a thread is reduced to ridiculous trash, time to close. Just my two cents.

 

[overedge]

What's naive is thinking no one will disagree with you, and thinking that a celebrity won't make announcements in such a way as will be to her greatest benefit. Which includes making sure she is seen in the best light possible -- and, to many here, that means motives can't even be questioned, which is strange to me. Apparently, I have stumbled upon FSU's one and only sacred cow.

No, what you have stumbled into is a big mess of your own making. You seem to be the one who has trouble with dissenting opinions.

The way in which a skater who has no realistic chance of competing and competing well, and hasn't for a while, decides to announce that she won't be competing is a major strategic decision. And it's trendy now to be rather open about mental health issues and other difficult things -- a bit more open than I personally find tasteful, though others have the right to disagree. With physical injuries it makes a bit more sense to disclose because things are a bit more cut and dried -- "I have XYZ tendon issue, can return to the ice in X weeks, and hope to be at Nationals, thank you all."

Mental illness is not "trendy" and it can be just as damaging to someone's ability to function as physical injuries can be. It can be even more damaging because of attitudes like yours that treat it as shameful.

Maybe it is cultural values and differences between me and other posters. However, I do think that if it's made public, the nature of the announcement becomes up for public discussion as a natural and inevitable consequence.

Sympathy for someone in distress is a cultural value you seem to be lacking.

I don't think anyone should stay out of the conversation, unless they have a mental illness that would be negatively impacted or something similar. That was my response to the whole "we've had members with these problems" issue.

Your response is wrong. Mental illness has had an effect on many FSU members, directly or indirectly, in very serious ways. You seem to think it's no more than somebody reading a mean post and getting their feelings hurt, and you couldn't be more wrong.

Like @Vagabond said up thread - when you're in a hole, maybe it's time to stop digging yourself deeper.

 

[lala]

@skatepixie I apologize my Russian friends.........But you could be Russian. ( They do not believe in athletes' words, so they assume the worst, they are so malicious and illogoic many times. )

 

[Japanfan]

What's naive is thinking no one will disagree with you, and thinking that a celebrity won't make announcements in such a way as will be to her greatest benefit.

Should they alternatively make statements that are to their greatest harm?

For example, "Gracie Gold is taking time away from the ice because she is entirely weary of the constant demands that her fans place on her time and attention, requiring her to spend hours signing autographs and getting her picture taken with them. She really wants her fans to understand that they should just go away and leave her alone."

The way in which a skater who has no realistic chance of competing and competing well, and hasn't for a while, decides to announce that she won't be competing is a major strategic decision.

It's strategic in the sense that anyone making a making change would require most people to explain it to others (family, colleagues, and friends, if not supporters/sponsors/fans in the case of a skater. When people are in the public eye, they are likely to have a PR person they consult with in making announcements about what's going on with them, especially if the public will notice (i.e. a skater suddenly is no longer on the competition list for several months, an actor pulls out of filming half-way through the movie/show). The public is probably going to find out anyway, and in the absence of an announcement, speculation could be worse than the truth.
I've never been a uber fan who likes to follow skaters around and express my admiration for them and get my picture taken from them, etc. However, I do get the sense that most skaters value their fans very much and feel a certain obligation to them. As they should, because it's the fans who buy the tickets to competitions, cheer loudly, put up banners in arenas, and throw them special stuffies or other gifts onto the ice. And tickets and gifts are no small expense, especially in the case of fans who travel all around the world to watch/support skaters compete.

And it's trendy now to be rather open about mental health issues and other difficult things -- a bit more open than I personally find tasteful, though others have the right to disagree.

'Trendy' indicates 'cool' or 'popular', and I don't think either apply to mental health issues, or the motivation for a person to disclose them.

I wish mental health issues were better understand, accepted and tolerated than they have been in the past, but don't think that is true. They are still stigmatized, and often seen as a personal weakness, or as a sign that someone is "crazy".

In saying "more open than I personally find tasteful", I think you support that view a person with mental health issues be ashamed of it, and try to hide it from everyone. Which only adds to the stigma against mental health issues.

With physical injuries it makes a bit more sense to disclose because things are a bit more cut and dried -- "I have XYZ tendon issue, can return to the ice in X weeks, and hope to be at Nationals, thank you all."

No need to hide a physical health issue, which is not a source of shame, and therefore not an assault to your tastefulness?

 

[skatepixie]

No, what you have stumbled into is a big mess of your own making. You seem to be the one who has trouble with dissenting opinions.

Not really -- I don't care if you (or anyone) agrees with me -- I don't like being insulted, called names, etc. It seems like a childish way to deal with dissent, but then FSU can get childish at times. However, one thing I always thought was part of the FSU culture was frank discussion that can seem brutal at times -- apparently this is the one untouchable topic.

Mental illness is not "trendy" and it can be just as damaging to someone's ability to function as physical injuries can be. It can be even more damaging because of attitudes like yours that treat it as shameful.

Never said mental illness is trendy. Talking about it, though? Oh yes, big time.

To be honest, even a physical issue from someone who is 6th place at Nationals might have once resulted in fading away into obscurity without an announcement. Not right, not wrong, but definitely within my memory.

Sympathy for someone in distress is a cultural value you seem to be lacking.

It's not like I'm sitting here thinking it's great she's suffering or anything -- I just don't see anything amazingly praiseworthy nor do I want to go on and on about how amazing she is. Of course I wish her well in her recovery. Goes without saying -- or perhaps not. I didn't feel the need to parrot the same things said in the thread about her situation.

Your response is wrong. Mental illness has had an effect on many FSU members, directly or indirectly, in very serious ways. You seem to think it's no more than somebody reading a mean post and getting their feelings hurt, and you couldn't be more wrong.

If someone can't handle the issue, the thread is clearly marked. There are plenty of serious issues discussed here, when they relate to skating issues -- illness, divorce, domestic violence (when the whole Weir divorce mess happened), child abuse, stage mothers from the underworld, etc. Never have I seen anyone say that discussion of what was said and how and why was off limits. I didn't set out to hurt anyone and I feel bad if I did -- but at the same time, FSU tends to be a rather gloves off sort of a place. We discuss tough stuff here sometimes, and there might be people who can't/shouldn't read that stuff. I wouldn't recommend people who went through certain types of rough childhoods reading some of the threads about certain SkateMoms(TM) that we've had here, but I think it's fine that it was discussed.

Here's the last thing I'll say on this -- I'm sorry Gracie is going through this. I pray for her and wish her well in her recovery. I think she's made a good business move here, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I also don't view her as a victim of the evil skating Powers That Be with their unrealistic expectations -- I think she's a girl with some rough stuff going on in her personal life, and if fingers were to be pointed, I'd point them at her dad who has acted poorly in his professional life in ways that effect his family.

 

[LarrySK8]

I am with Skatepixie on this one. GG has an agent and PR people and sponsors. They have input into her announcement timing and content. To think GG did this "on her own," is naive.

As an athlete of means, she had all the support she needed at her disposal. She decided to not use it, get fat, and lose her skills. Then comes the call for help and sympathy.

GG has collapsed under the pressure of her life and has gotten fat and out of shape for her chosen career. If she were in professional sports on a team, she would be cut from the team, placed on wavers and go into free-agency, where no one would pick her up.

So her sporting life may be over. As a fan, I say, "Who cares?" She is 22. Go live your life like the rest of us. The sport will carry on without her just fine.

All the sympathy in the world from US skating fans can not help GG. Lengthy missives calling for sympathy are superfluous, as our sympathy means nothing to her. AND no one has any right to tell anyone else how to feel. I am not sympathetic, but many posters are sympathetic.

Again, so what? If a person gets angry reading that - it says a lot more about the reader than anything else.

 

[Carolla5501]

Everyone, please go put the troll on Ignore. Feeding her only encourages her to continue with her trash talking.

What trolls and people who live to abuse others want is attention. Failing to give them that attention to make them take their toys and go someplace else to be mean.

 

[AxelAnnie]

THIS^^^^^
Mental health issues can be permanently debilitating. Sometimes "getting help" doesn't help. I know people with mental illnesses who are barely able to leave their homes. And yes, they do take their meds every day. The meds help them enough to keep them out of the psych ward, but not much beyond that. I know someone else who "got better" to the point where you can't tell there's anything "wrong" with her. But maintaining this level of health takes up a tremendous amount of this individual's time and energy. Since Gracie has an eating disorder, it's possible that she will struggle with it for the rest of her life. This is not something that goes away after six weeks of counseling and a daily dose of Prozac.

Too true. I would think clinical depression and clinical anxiety are not easy to fix if what you do for a career is difficult manoeuvres on a slippery surface with two thin edges....and all the while knowing every move is being judged and analyzed by millions of people who expect you to live up to your last name. This must have been a nightmare for her.

 

[meggonzo]

Never said mental illness is trendy. Talking about it, though? Oh yes, big time.

Maybe we should stop talking about heart disease or diabetes too.

 

[coppertop1]

This discussion is getting ugly and people wonder why mental health isn't discussed more? Gee, I wonder. How about putting yourself in her skate boots?

 

[Tinami Amori]

This discussion is getting ugly and people wonder why mental health isn't discussed more? Gee, I wonder. How about putting yourself in her skate boots?

If skatpixie grew up in a society where conditions like ED, anorexia, mental problems, depression, etc., are not openly discussed in public, and people rather hide the fact than disclose them in such details, then she has every reason to presume that the one who is disclosing them must have strategic reasons for "degrading oneself in public view".

It is a cultural difference. If you don't like it, state your objections, instead of attacking her. seems like "diversity" for those who insist on "diversity" only works when it suites them....

 

[Vagabond]

Feeding her only encourages her to continue with her trash talking.

It's a particularly horrific kind of eating disorder.

 

[MsZem]

If skatpixie grew up in a society where conditions like ED, anorexia, mental problems, depression, etc., are not openly discussed in public, and people rather hide the fact than disclose them in such details, then she has every reason to presume that the one who is disclosing them must have strategic reasons for "degrading oneself in public view".

It is a cultural difference. If you don't like it, state your objections, instead of attacking her. seems like "diversity" for those who insist on "diversity" only works when it suites them....

Should we be equally accepting if a poster were to argue for, say, female genital mutilation?

I can accept that some people like Ed Sheeran, Davis/White, mangoes, dogs, and conservative politics. Skatepixie is welcome to question the motives of a skater sharing her mental health challenges, but I don't feel like I should have to accept this as appropriate. I guess the culture I grew up in leads me to believe that empathy and kindness are a better response in such situations.

 

[Tinami Amori]

Should we be equally accepting if a poster were to argue for, say, female genital mutilation?

We did have such a discussion in PI about half a year ago, and i started it. It was a civil conversation, with main question "what to do to stop it and do we have the right to interfere with cultural/religious traditions" and involved many mentions of cultural, religious and social issues from "pro" and "con" points of view.

I can accept that some people like Ed Sheeran, Davis/White, mangoes, dogs, and conservative politics. Skatepixie is welcome to question the motives of a skater sharing her mental health challenges, but I don't feel like I should have to accept this as appropriate. I guess the culture I grew up in leads me to believe that empathy and kindness are a better response in such situations.

Then use your "culture" to debate and argue your position if you don't "accept" hers, not shut her up. Also "empathy and kindness" is very subjective... and often "cultural".

 

[bardtoob]

If skatpixie grew up in a society where conditions like ED, anorexia, mental problems, depression, etc., are not openly discussed in public, and people rather hide the fact than disclose them in such details, then she has every reason to presume that the one who is disclosing them must have strategic reasons for "degrading oneself in public view".

It is a cultural difference. If you don't like it, state your objections, instead of attacking her. seems like "diversity" for those who insist on "diversity" only works when it suites them....

It is nice that the cultural difference is explained. I have no idea from what culture skatpixie comes. However, I now imagine skatpixie comes from a culture where political power is more important than economic power, so everything is done strategically.

 

[overedge]

@skatepixie That hole just keeps getting deeper, and it's not FSU that's doing the digging.

 

[MsZem]

We did have such a discussion in PI about half a year ago, and i started it. It was a civil conversation, with main question "what to do to stop it and do we have the right to interfere with cultural/religious traditions" and involved many mentions of cultural, religious and social issues from "pro" and "con" points of view.


Then use your "culture" to debate and argue your position if you don't "accept" hers, not shut her up. Also "empathy and kindness" is very subjective... and often "cultural".

Most of the posts responding to skatepixie have called her statements insensitive and mean-spirited, and explained why. There is no way to interpret "playing the mental health card" as a "money-focused move" that should be written off because "talking about mental health is trendy" as either kind or empathetic. Not even if you believe in tough love. Saying this is not shutting anyone up.

People who wish to engage in frank conversations should be ready for some frank responses. This can't possibly surprise anyone who has spent more than three minutes on FSU.

 

[Tinami Amori]

It is nice that the cultural difference is explained. I have no idea from what culture skatpixie comes. However, I now imagine skatpixie comes from a culture where political power is more important than economic power, so everything is done strategically.

Many countries/cultures.... with various political and economic structures.... and some are considered "first world/advanced"... Like France, Japan, etc..
https://www.buzzfeed.com/marietelli...ental-health?utm_term=.sr3GBQKvOM#.lg7Eqr31n0
https://www.quora.com/How-bad-is-the-mental-illness-stigma-in-Japan
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-36489893
http://www.uniteforsight.org/mental-health/module7

Most of the posts responding to skatepixie have called her statements insensitive and mean-spirited, and explained why.

Yes, some did.... while some called her names, and some wanted the topic to be closed.

 

[aftershocks]

Good grief! Maybe this thread should be suspended from further activity due to all the anxiety, depression, misunderstandings and prolonged argumentative kvetching disorders going on in here!

 

[DimaToe]

Maybe FSU's obsession with Gold reflects what was going on with her federation and all of those around her. Even then she was still a strong enough person to openly share her issues and seek treatment, maybe some of you in here should follow her example

I echo the sentiments that this thread should closed soon, or at least moved the the Trash Can.

 

[judiz]

I know it was incredibly brave of Gracie to be so honest with the federation and the public about her battle with mental illness and eating disorder.

My husband committed suicide 6 weeks ago due to mental illness. Unless you have lived with it or cared for someone who suffers from it, you can truly never understand how difficult day to day life is for those affected.

 

[jersey1302]

Some interesting comments on here for sure.. IMO I am going to take her word on what is actually happening to her. Going first dealing with someone who has had these same issues I know how hard it can be and how hard it can be on the support system aswell. It takes real courage to admit something like this publicly. It also helps others going through the same things knowing they arn't the only ones and there is hope and help at the end. Speaking it publicly I think is her way of dealing with it. The best thing you can do is be open and honest which exactly what she is doing.
Now is saying that, if it comes forth that this is all strategic and fake than i retract my statement but if this is what she is actually dealing with than I wish her all the best and luck and send her all the good vibes possible!

 

[AxelAnnie]

I do not for a moment think it is fake. The kid is in trouble and has been for a whole. Was the announcement handled with some thought and "strategy"? Of course.
Is any of that eville? Not unless there is intent to defraud.

 

[jenniferlyon]

As long as we're on the subject of cultural differences, within the parameters of what Americans would expect from a sports celebrity of Gracie's stature, she is NOT playing any kind of card or overly strategizing. Given her obvious difficulties over the past season, coupled with her absence this season, Gracie would be expected to issue some kind of a statement explaining what's going on. She did that. A more vague statement ("I am having personal issues") would do more harm than good. Skating fans would engage in even more speculation. Also, Gracie isn't doing talk shows or other public appearances right now, which is what an American celebrity would do if he/she was desperate for attention. By all indications, Gracie is concentrating on her health. Which is what she should be doing.