Interview with Stanislava Konstantinova
В интервью ТАСС спортсменка рассказала, как ей приходится бороться с неминуемыми спадами в карьере, почему она рада выступать и на Гран-при, и на "первенствах бензоколонки" и каково это — кататься, когда все ждут от тебя провала
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- Stasia, the first half of the season came to an end after Russian Nationals.
- The beginning of the season was quite good - I took part in the festival in the USA as a preparation for the season, then there were test skates. They went with some errors, but also not bad, and then ... Then there was a crisis, from which I am still trying to get out.
- What are the reasons?
- There was some reappraisal. I worked-worked, coped with problems, knew that I could do it, knew that you can never give up. At some point, I turned off these thoughts, and at that very moment it struck me.
I began to doubt myself, to think - what is wrong with me? Or maybe something is fundamentally wrong with me? It was a very a painful moment. So painful that three weeks after I couldn’t manage to tune in for an event in Bratislava. Plus, my skates broke at that time.
- One “joy” after “another”...
- That's for sure, and it didn’t add any great emotions at all. And then it was time for the Grand Prix event in the USA and it was a complete collapse, failure. I worked a lot after that, tried to disconnect, did everything, and then I became satisfied with myself, I saw the difference. And then the Grand Prix in Moscow came and that fall on lutz. And I panicked! And the more mistakes you make, the more you panic.
- And then there was an error in the free.
- A small one, and not that was upset or tired of fighting. It just happens that way sometimes - the athlete is clamped, and that’s it. And he can no longer do more.
- Stasia, you try to add difficulty all the time, but have you ever thought about concentrating on what is already there? Or you have to break through the walls with your head in figure skating?
- I think it's good to fight a little bit. But, probably, it is necessary to differentiate everything to the maximum, so that all of this doesn’t affect elements I already know how to do. Plus you have to be confident, because sometimes you can’t even show a quarter of what you can do.
- Since we are talking about numbers. Is your high double axel a good base for a triple axel? Do I understand correctly that you are still thinking about it?
- Of course! No matter how difficult it is. It is foolish to limit yourself to the limits of your own abilities. I couldn’t get axel back from this summer - it was either better or worse. Problems are with technique and weight.
- Nevertheless, you have your own strengths.
- I understand that each has its own advantages. For example, after September test skates I didn’t have any doubts about my future. I told myself: I can skate for as long as I want. And if something doesn’t work out now, don’t be so upset - it won’t make situation better. If you have a great wish and work hard, everything is possible. And there are many worthy examples. People came back from oblivion, and how!
The same can be said about Liza Tuktamysheva - whom I infinitely respect and admire, even despite the fact that she is my rival. Or Carolina Costner, who gives people a great joy.
I work very hard, I work on such an exertion, as if I am squeezing out all the juices from myself. But now I think - maybe it’s better to work with a bright head otherwise this eternal race for the result won’t be that successful. Yes, I had a panic attack. But I love to skate. And further, even if I am left without a Grand Prix, I can take part in Russian Cup events and even at the “gas station championships” [in Russia it’s a name small local events] I will do it - I like to skate.
- Many are already retiring at 19 nowadays.
- Many of us try not to read the comments. It hurts when people write: "you have to retire"; "you take someone's place." When a person has a particular profession, does his job day after day, doesn’t cope with something, and you tell him - go and look for another job, you have nothing to do here. Or when person studies at a university, studies for a long time, but they tell him - go and look for another one, what have you forgotten here? How is that even possible?
I understood for myself - there are people who just like you and there are those who really care about you. Yes, I’m not looking for excuses for my unsuccessful events - you are an athlete, you must do it, even if they wake you in the middle of the night. But personally I have decided for myself - I will fight. I have time and energy. And I am sure I’ll pull myself out of this mess, out wherever I will have to.
- How important is your communication with your coach in difficult situations?
- We try to minimize communication on the ice. Valentina Mikhailovna, as a coach, says what to do and I do it. Or ask my opinion. Yes, I like to talk, to philosophize, but in that case she says to me: "We will discuss this after the practice is over." On the ice she is demanding, and if I need her support in life we have another type of communication.
- What qualities you think you are lacking? What would you like to learn?
- Probably, reckless courage. Without additional questions like "what if," "what if suddenly something happens."
- Strange, you don’t look like a timid girl.
- I am brave, but sometimes I allow myself to doubt myself. I am very self-critical and demanding.
-Perhaps you need to slow down in this regard? Self-criticism is wonderful, but doubts about your own’s strengths are not that good.
- That’s true, it’s a kind of excess. And I would also wish myself to become thick-skinned. They say: "you are not in great shape," "you have gained weight." And I want just to plug my ears, sit and cry.
But when I felt the support of the audience at the Moscow Grand Prix, I felt it and the excitement has returned. And no matter how great is someone’s wish to take a break, to promise yourself "I will return as a new man," we must fight. Returning after a pause in our sport is incredibly difficult. Show, work, study, and you're already living a different life. The progress in our sport is unrealistic, so skate, solve your problems, do what you should, get ready for the next start and show what you can do. But it’s not easy to go out, knowing that people are expecting another failure from you.
- But are other people's expectations important for you?
- Probably not now. I want to be the best version of myself, and I understand that this season will be a turning point for me. I’m not going to pause and don’t want to, I want to keep myself in shape. And I have many plans for the next season.
It gave us a more edgy and modern look on Liza.
