Well, at the very least, it was insensitive of her to be dispensing generic, everyday advice when her partner was being shown to have sent dick pics to a 13-year old. As it happens, I believe it is a commentary in support of Cipres. I mean, who in their right mind, decides that during the breaking of this scandal to dispense general, unrelated life wisdom?
I suspect that many involved in the dick pic situation have their own narrative of events, in which they blame the 13-year old. I have heard parts of that narrative, but I think the culture at the rink must have given validity to. What seems like a very problematic situation of a 13-year old receiving these photographs, was filtered through the rink culture in such as way as those involved could not see how it would look to the "outside world." That is because they had lost touch with reality; the culture at the rink had distorted it.
This is why your point about James not knowing is so unlikely. There were a number of individuals at the rink who were involved: the person who dared the girls to get the photo in return for a pizza was a coach or director, the girls were skaters, and the girl's tutor and therapist were informed etc. The girl was then told by James and Cipres' coaches, Sylvia Fontana and John Zimmerman, to keep quiet about the situation as it was an Olympic year. They knew. Knowing how gossipy rinks are, it is far more likely that James knew.
But wishful thinking is not unique to you as a figure skating fan nor to this situation. Fans have had a lot of practice at pretzelling themselves and their arguments to suit their wishes. I saw this first hand in 1998 with Richard Callaghan. It was hard to find any support for Craig Maurizi at the time. That one took 20 years for the truth to finally come out and for fans to accept it.