Just call me Harry. (Everything Harry & Meghan)

[skategal]

They could have made it sound like she needed observation due to difficulties during her pregnancy, which everyone would have assumed meant something like Kate's hyperemesis gravidarum. Or they could have said something closer to the truth, as its hardly unprecedented for members of the BRF to get treatment for mental health challenges.

I have no doubt that Meghan was suffering, and it seems like a lot of people let her down. It must have affected her perceptions and relationships during and after the pregnancy.

They didn’t even have to do any of that.

They could have just let her leave the country and seek help (which I’m pretty sure she wanted to do) and said she was visiting family or taking time away or any number of other things while she recovered. But they wouldn’t.

She asked to leave to seek help and she was denied.

 

[MsZem]

They didn’t even have to do any of that.

They could have just let her leave the country and seek help (which I’m pretty sure she wanted to do) and said she was visiting family or taking time away or any number of other things while she recovered. But they wouldn’t.

She asked to leave to seek help and she was denied.

As I wrote, I have no doubt that Meghan had a horrible experience and didn't get the support that she should have. I do think it's fair to ask who exactly did the denying, and where Harry was during all this. He's not powerless.

 

[Polaris]

They could have made it sound like she needed observation due to difficulties during her pregnancy, which everyone would have assumed meant something like Kate's hyperemesis gravidarum. Or they could have said something closer to the truth, as it's hardly unprecedented for members of the BRF to get treatment for mental health challenges.

This. Especially since Will, Kate, and Harry have "mental health" as one of their initiatives.

 

[skategal]

As I wrote, I have no doubt that Meghan had a horrible experience and didn't get the support that she should have. I do think it's fair to ask who exactly did the denying, and where Harry was during all this. He's not powerless.

She wouldn’t disclose who it was beyond a senior official who told her that it would reflect badly on the BRF if she went so they were not allowing her to do that.

People Suffering from mental health issues often have a lot of shame in admitting there is a problem and asking for help

Harry may not have even realized how bad it had gotten for Meghan until she reached her breaking point.

 

[manhn]

I mean, while people debate Canada's Consitutional amendments, there are other things I can look towards to diss the BRF. Change our money! One of Vancouver's most well known parks is named after the Queen. Let's rename it to Dude Chilling Park. Change our street names (like King George Boulevard) to how Americans do it--name them after shopping malls. I don't want athletes to miss out on the Commonwealth Games, but let's have Canada never host one of them. Let's remove/diminish their existence except for them to sign off on some laws, which they can do via fax or email.

 

[Judy]

Okay. But didn’t Quebec also kind of start due to colonialism by the French? It the people of Quebec want to separate it’s up to them. But will they be better of separate.


The only reason I am saying this is that the human race all of it had been about conquering and war.

There was plenty of in North America before the French and the British got there. Hopefully as humans we have evolved but historical rights are never gone be fully righted.

I can totally get why Commonwealth countries may want a different head of State though.

Quebec is ALL about their french language. No they likely wouldn’t be better off but Canada would be screwed up too. Having said that I personally wouldn’t mind living in Ottawa.

 

[Lemonade20]

She wouldn’t disclose who it was beyond a senior official who told her that it would reflect badly on the BRF if she went so they were not allowing her to do that.

People Suffering from mental health issues often have a lot of shame in admitting there is a problem and asking for help

Harry may not have even realized how bad it had gotten for Meghan until she reached her breaking point.

Agreed, it wouldn't have mattered who was named. The point being, she didn't get the help she asked for. I know in the firm they tend to keep a stiff upper lip and never reveal their personal turmoil, but I'm surprised at this one to be honest. You would think at the very least they could allow her to talk to a counsellor over the phone or bring someone in to talk to her.

 

[Jenny]

I'm surprised too, that she didn't get help. Surely as so many have pointed out given that her husband has advocated on mental health issues for years, as have William and Kate, he could have connected her to professionals who could help. It's not like they had to rush her anywhere or put out a press release - the organizations and people who do this kind of thing are understandably discreet, I would think especially so when one of their patrons makes the call. She could have spoken to someone on the phone, or even arranged for at-home in-person therapy.

@skategal is right that sometimes there's shame involved, but since she says she went to HR about it, clearly she didn't have a problem admitting it or seeking help. Question is why HR and not through the higher level channels that would have got her there a lot faster, and much more discreetly? Perhaps she didn't want to burden Harry, but then that's where (theoretically) she might have gone to William or Kate. Or even accessed something through friends in the US or Canada, or her mother, a professional she could talk to over the phone?

And even if she didn't say it out loud to him, how did Harry not know how badly she was feeling? They seem very close and caring of one another.

 

[MacMadame]

My thought on the chickens was "that's the fanciest chicken coop I've ever seen... must be nice to have the money to be able to build a nice chain link fence to keep the wild animals out and install a bench inside..." And I'm not someone who is resentful of other people having money but the dichotomy of "just live simply" with the luxury chicken coop was not lost on me during the broadcast.

How dare Meghan and Harry have a nice chicken coop?! Will no one save us from the depravity of that woman?!

I stopped eating meat and poultry (again) about two years ago. I have to admit I sometimes miss the extra crispy skin of KFC. I didn't care about the meat, only the skin.

I am the opposite. I like fried chicken because it's juicier than baked but I don't like the skin. I pull it off and my family fights over it. We should team up some time and eat "fried chicken" together.

I have no doubt that Meghan was suffering, and it seems like a lot of people let her down. It must have affected her perceptions and relationships during and after the pregnancy.

When you are suffering from mental illness, you aren't thinking clearly. And often the people in your family aren't either. All this "woulda, coulda, shoulda" about how they handled her crisis strikes me as victim blaming.

Change our street names (like King George Boulevard) to how Americans do it--name them after shopping malls.

I've lived in numerous states in the US and not one of them names their streets after a shopping mall except maybe the street the mall is on and usually that's what is called a courtesy address. Like Facebook having the address of its headquarters be 1 Facebook Way when their HQ is actually on Willow Road.

I live on Rail Road myself. (Because it's by the railroad tracks. ) But my mailing address is the street our entire complex is on plus a space #. So we actually have two addresses.

 

[AxelAnnie]

Meghan said she knew she would have to curtsey on formal occasions but not in private which makes sense because who would ever think you need to curtsey to your grandmother-in-law in private, casual settings?

She met the Queen by happen-stance when it wasn't planned so had to have a quick lesson beforehand by Harry as she hadn't had a need to practice the curtsey at that point.

Right All she had to do was look up "greeting the Queen" it is all right there. And the Queen was not upset.

 

[manhn]

I've lived in numerous states in the US and not one of them names their streets after a shopping mall except maybe the street the mall is on and usually that's what is called a courtesy address. Like Facebook having the address of its headquarters be 1 Facebook Way when their HQ is actually on Willow Road.

To me, that's an American thing. Although I don't know what a courtesy address is. Whenever I visit a big shopping mall in the US (how I miss them), the street is named after the mall. I find it quite handy.

 

[skategal]

Question is why HR and not through the higher level channels that would have got her there a lot faster, and much more discreetly? Perhaps she didn't want to burden Harry, but then that's where (theoretically) she might have gone to William or Kate. Or even accessed something through friends in the US or Canada, or her mother, a professional she could talk to over the phone?

And even if she didn't say it out loud to him, how did Harry not know how badly she was feeling? They seem very close and caring of one another.

She says she tried the higher ups first and got no help so then tried HR out of desperation.

Sometimes when you are close to someone, you try to protect their feelings by handling things yourself until you can't anymore.
(At least that is what I am like...)

 

[MsZem]

When you are suffering from mental illness, you aren't thinking clearly. And often the people in your family aren't either. All this "woulda, coulda, shoulda" about how they handled her crisis strikes me as victim blaming.

Of course, expressing sympathy for Meghan, who clearly went through a very difficult time, is a form of victim blaming because it wasn't done in the way you deem appropriate.

This entire thread is woulda coulda shoulda. People are simply directing it at different targets.

 

[skategal]

Right All she had to do was look up "greeting the Queen" it is all right there. And the Queen was not upset.

The Queen was not upset because Harry showed her how to do it perfectly right before they went in as he should have done.

 

[overedge]

Agreed, it wouldn't have mattered who was named.

It does matter who was named, if that person has outdated beliefs about how mental illness problems should be handled, and if they are in a position to give similarly bad advice to others. I hope at least she named the person internally, so that person can get some training on those issues.

 

[Lynn226]

I am the opposite. I like fried chicken because it's juicier than baked but I don't like the skin. I pull it off and my family fights over it. We should team up some time and eat "fried chicken" together.

Definitely. I know there are vegan fried chicken recipes out there. I'm just too lazy to make them.

 

[MacMadame]

To me, that's an American thing. Although I don't know what a courtesy address is. Whenever I visit a big shopping mall in the US (how I miss them), the street is named after the mall. I find it quite handy.

Oh yeah they do that. But not all the streets are named after malls.

A courtesy address is when you ask the Post Office for an address that is different than the official one the city has.

Of course, expressing sympathy for Meghan, who clearly went through a very difficult time, is a form of victim blaming because it wasn't done in the way you deem appropriate.

Saying "why didn't they do this?" and "they could have done that" is not "expressing sympathy" for anyone. It absolutely is victim-blaming in the same way people do it for victims of sexual assault and abusive relationships. I've seen you knock down people who do that in threads about abuse towards skaters so I'm surprised you don't see it happening here.

 

[Polaris]

Saying "why didn't they do this?" and "they could have done that" is not "expressing sympathy" for anyone. It absolutely is victim-blaming in the same way people do it for victims of sexual assault and abusive relationships. I've seen you knock down people who do that in threads about abuse towards skaters so I'm surprised you don't see it happening here.

Amen.

 

[canbelto]

I;m really puzzled about why they should be living in poverty. Like if they can afford a mansion why not? Do you expect them to be scrounging in a homeless shelter? Why would you want that for anyone?

The white, conservative idea of who is "deserving" of living in a mansion is ... interesting.

 

[overedge]

I;m really puzzled about why they should be living in poverty. Like if they can afford a mansion why not? Do you expect them to be scrounging in a homeless shelter? Why would you want that for anyone?

The white, conservative idea of who is "deserving" of living in a mansion is ... interesting.

I don't think anyone is saying that they shouldn't live in a mansion if they want to, and I also don't see anyone is saying that they don't deserve to live in one. But there seem to be some questions (e.g. them asking the BRF to pay for their security) whether they can afford to.

 

[skategal]

But there seem to be some questions (e.g. them asking the BRF to pay for their security) whether they can afford to.

Not anymore (Netflix, Spotify)

 

[canbelto]

I think they like nice stuff. Maybe they like nice stuff more than the average person. But as long as they're paying for it and can afford it I don't see the issue. As for the security I think the issue is Harry feels that Charles SHOULD pay for it, not that they can't afford a bodyguard.

 

[Judy]

Right All she had to do was look up "greeting the Queen" it is all right there. And the Queen was not upset.

This was not a big deal.

 

[becca]

Hi

I think they like nice stuff. Maybe they like nice stuff more than the average person. But as long as they're paying for it and can afford it I don't see the issue. As for the security I think the issue is Harry feels that Charles SHOULD pay for it, not that they can't afford a bodyguard.

And why should Charles pay for it? Harry left the family business. And also left the country by his own free will causing Harry’s security bills to skyrocket.

If Harry can afford 18 million dollar mansion he can afford his security bills.
they were offered free housing.

And if Meghan and Harry chose to really to go private they would need less security too after all Anne’s children and Edwards kids don’t need it.

If Harry and Meghan want to live global celebrity Kim Kardashian/ influencer lifestyles more power to them. But guess Kim pays her own bills including her security so does every other celebrity.

And if Harry wasn’t a royal he would have no chance of that lifestyle.

For the record I don’t think Harry and Meghan should live in poverty but I don’t think they should be asking tax payers or Charles to foot their security bills either.

 

[overedge]

I think they like nice stuff. Maybe they like nice stuff more than the average person. But as long as they're paying for it and can afford it I don't see the issue. As for the security I think the issue is Harry feels that Charles SHOULD pay for it, not that they can't afford a bodyguard.

Neither of us are their accountants or financial managers, but my reading of what they said was that the security was very expensive and they felt the BRF should help them out with the cost.

Harry said that when they did decamp permanently for Canada, and shortly afterward, for the United States, “my family literally cut me off financially…in the first quarter of 2020” leaving him and Meghan to scramble to put together financial deals “to afford security for us.”

(from https://www.macleans.ca/opinion/meg...-royal-expert-on-what-we-did-and-didnt-learn/)

 

[skategal]

Neither of us are their accountants or financial managers, but my reading of what they said was that the security was very expensive and they felt the BRF should help them out with the cost.
(from https://www.macleans.ca/opinion/meg...-royal-expert-on-what-we-did-and-didnt-learn/)

Harry thinks he should get the security because he is a Prince of the UK not because he can’t afford security through working.

They were left scrambling when they were cut off and had to come up with a plan (this ended up at a friends house for awhile) but they said that they are doing the deals to pay for security because they were cut off not that they don’t have the ability to earn money to pay for it.

They were getting slack for doing Netflix and Spotify and we’re explaining why they were doing it.

 

[Polaris]

I think they like nice stuff. Maybe they like nice stuff more than the average person. But as long as they're paying for it and can afford it I don't see the issue. As for the security I think the issue is Harry feels that Charles SHOULD pay for it, not that they can't afford a bodyguard.

Who doesn't like nice stuff? Liking nice stuff is not a crime. Making money via Netflix and Spotify is not a crime. I rather have 9 figure wealth than low 8-figure wealth.

Harry feels Charles should've wanted to pay for his own son's security detail given that 1) his mother was killed by the paparazzis and lack of adequate security detail, and 2) there was a huge level of vitriolic obsession towards Harry and Megan that were stirred by the Palace itself (obsession that none of Edward or Anne or their kids receive). Nothing wrong with that emotional expectation.

Charles is fcking cold.

 

[becca]

Who doesn't like nice stuff? Liking nice stuff is not a crime. Making money via Netflix and Spotify is not a crime. I rather have 9 figure wealth than low 8-figure wealth.

Harry feels Charles should've wanted to pay for his own son's security detail given that 1) his mother was killed by the paparazzis and lack of adequate security detail, and 2) there was a huge level of vitriolic obsession towards Harry and Megan that were stirred by the Palace itself (obsession that none of Edward or Anne or their kids receive). Nothing wrong with that emotional expectation.

Charles is fcking cold.

And there is no responsibility here on Harry and Meghan to make their costs responsible. The Canadians were estimating 10 million dollars. The security cases are like 1 million in Britain.

Pay an extra 9 million Dad we don’t care

Also they want their son to be a Prince of U.K. but no responsibility on their end to raise said child in U.K.?

Once again a whole lot of talk about what it’s owed to them no talk about what they may be responsible for.

 

[Polaris]

Archie was born and his title was decided BEFORE they left the UK.

What does being a Prince of a country have to do with being raised in that specific country? That's not a condition.

 

[Karen-W]

I could give a rip who lives in a mansion or not but I'm a big proponent of living within your means. If Harry & Meghan couldn't afford to live in a mansion and still within their own, financially independent means, well, I guess hard choices must be made. I drove my 2002 Hyundai Elantra into the ground (14 years and a barely working a/c some of those years when I just didn't have the extra cash to pay for it to be fixed), I had the same laptop for 10-12 years because until last summer's stimulus, I didn’t have the extra cash to replace it.

We make choices and, unfortunately, Harry seems to feel like he is entitled to live beyond his own means because... "I was born into this". Okay, and so are people who are born into poverty. You make of life what you will and, as many others have pointed out, repeatedly in this thread, they made a choice to go for the expensive Montecito mansion. There are other places in the US where they could have chosen to live that would have stretched further the limited dollars they have. They made the choice, just like Charles made a choice. And I doubt he made this decision without consulting William since once you make a choice to fund Harry's lifestyle, working royal or not, you’re sticking it to your heir to do the same otherwise he will look like a total jerk. Frankly, I kind of give the side-eye to the Queen because she's made a habit of supporting her kids and kicked that can down the road for Charles & William to deal with and whatever negative publicity/fallout there is from basically telling the rest of the royals outside the direct line to "get a job". Harry is very much "have my cake and eat it too" in this situation, IMO. He didn't think that what happened to Bea & Eugenie would happen to him. And here we are... no RPOs, no Bank of Charles, and not much he can do other than spout off about how hard his life is. Yeahhhhh... okay. It's tough there from that beachside SoCal mansion with your beautiful wife and designer clothes while you go on international television to trash your family for expecting that you live up to your end of the unwritten contract that is life as a senior, working royal.