Coughlin's Former Pairs Partner Alleges He Abused Her

[misskarne]

Because it discredits this latest round of allegations. As usual you guys are completely missing the boat.

So you think it would be ideal for Coughlin to have been a gay sexual abuser instead of a straight sexual abuser? (Plus, you know, he could have been a bisexual sexual abuser.) Interesting, I wonder why someone would hope for that?

 

[Prancer]

Right. That's the latest round of allegations.

I wouldn't say that, but since we are all missing the boat, do enlighten us by providing some evidence that the initial allegations came from guys. Otherwise, I will have to consider you to be a purveyor of baseless rumor.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

I wouldn't say that, but since we are all missing teh boat, do enlighten us by providing some evidence that the initial allegations came from guys.

None of us seem to be able to figure that out. Wasn't there another thread about this in reference to the initial round of allegations? The fact that the family claims that the first allegations came from a guy is significant, but other than that we have nothing to go on right now.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

So you think it would be ideal for Coughlin to have been a gay sexual abuser instead of a straight sexual abuser? (Plus, you know, he could have been a bisexual sexual abuser.) Interesting, I wonder why someone would hope for that?

It simply means that one group is lying. Either the first or the second.

 

[overedge]

IIRC the family (in the Kansas City newspaper story) said that the allegations were the work of a guy who was jealous that Coughlin was getting TV jobs instead of him. "Work" as in this guy, seeking revenge, allegedly encouraged the women to file the complaints. Not that the guy himself was one of the victims.

 

[Prancer]

None of us seem to be able to figure that out. Wasn't there another thread about this in reference to the initial round of allegations? The fact that the family claims that the first allegations came from a guy is significant, but other than that we have nothing to go on right now.

Well, actually, the statement I was referring to doesn't mention gender, just as you said. It simply refers to a "rival" for a commentating job. I think we all assumed that the person was male because of the "rival" factor.

However, there were a number of people, including skaters on other platforms, who responded to the first allegations with claims of knowing his initial accuser and saying that "she" would be at Nationals. There was much discussion of this in the first thread, which you can find, too.

It simply means that one group is lying. Either the first or the second.

It doesn't mean anything of the kind.

And since you have nothing, I think this line of discussion stops here.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

IIRC the family (in the Kansas City newspaper story) said that the allegations were the work of a guy who was jealous that Coughlin was getting TV work instead of him. "Work" as in this guy, seeking revenge, allegedly encouraged the women to file the complaints. Not that the guy himself was one of the victims.

Got it.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

And since you have nothing, I think this line of discussion stops here.

Are you an administrator or what gives you the right to determine lines of discussion?

 

[Prancer]

Are you an administrator

Yes.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

Yes.

Seriously? Okay. You win.

 

[VGThuy]

Just for clarity's sake, I'm just going to link this article that has what his family actually said:

https://www.kansascity.com/news/local/article226196295.html

Family and friends said Coughlin categorically denied that any of the relationships SafeSport was investigating involved sexual misconduct. Each, they said, was a “peer-to-peer” relationship from his earlier skating days, none from when he was a coach.

The first, his family and friends said, occurred when he was in his mid-20s and the skater was in her later teens, old enough to legally consent. The allegation was made by a third party, someone who reported Coughlin over suspicions that Coughlin was “grooming,” or manipulating the female skater into an intimate relationship.

But the second set of allegations involved two minors. Varner said Coughlin told him that the girls were young when he was also young; they were no more than a few years apart. Yet it was unclear how many years older Coughlin was, or whether the alleged victims were old enough to legally consent. One of the girls was someone he knew well from 14 years prior. They were still friendly and had even been in contact in recent years, Varner said.

 

[Prancer]

Are we all clear now? Let's move on.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

Thanks VIETgrlTerifa.

 

[once_upon]

Seriously? Okay. You win.

Seriously? Your title reads well known member and yet you didn't know Prancer is an adm?

 

[Japanfan]

The shortage of male pairs skaters and ice dancers does put them in an advantageous position, and certainly there can be financial benefits to being in demand. This does not mean that all male skaters (or even most of them) use their power inappropriately.

You obviously don't know pairs. At the lower levels there are far more girls trying to find a partner than boys. Likely because there are more girls skating and pairs gives them options.

I don't think all male skaters use their power or advantage inappropriately. A male pair skater needs no less commitment to the sport than a female pair skater, and have a foundation of trust and respect is essential to a pair being as good as possible (though there have been some exceptions).

But, it wouldn't surprise me if boys were able to get away with certain misbehaviors simply because they are in demand. Coaches and parents wouldn't want to do anything that might cause a boy/male partner to give less than his best effort or quit sport.

At the same time, girls/female skaters tend to be a tough and feisty bunch, so for the most part are probably not easy to push around.

 

[coppertop1]

Now that there is more info coming out, I hope that the figure skating community gets behind the victims. The whole "Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" mentality is exactly what allows this type of thing to occur.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

Seriously? Your title reads well known member and yet you didn't know Prancer is an adm?

Yeah well. I don't get out much. Coughlin still doesn't strike me as your typical Don Juan, but when that many allegations pile up, you have to wonder.

 

[skatfan]

Yeah well. I don't get out much. Coughlin still doesn't strike me as your typical Don Juan, but when that many allegations pile up, you have to wonder.

I think the wonder bus left the station last December when Coughlin was initially listed on the Safe Sport website.

 

[Johnny_Fever]

I think the wonder bus left the station last December when Coughlin was initially listed on the Safe Sport website.

Does that website provide proof?

 

[JamieElena]

Yeah well. I don't get out much. Coughlin still doesn't strike me as your typical Don Juan, but when that many allegations pile up, you have to wonder.

You're being willfully ignorant. The allegations have been known since December. There are numerous closed threads & articles on google that you can read for yourself to get caught up. Quizzing now and asking if SS has proof....is just proof that you're pot stirring.

 

[Finsta]

And all abusers are Don Juan’s? You really must not get out much

 

[Coco]

At the same time, girls/female skaters tend to be a tough and feisty bunch, so for the most part are probably not easy to push around.

I wish that were all it took, but a lot of times young people who over achieve in one area are seriously lacking in confidence in other areas.

We do young people a disservice with how we talk and don't talk about sex and sexual relationships. Unhealthy messages from the media and popular culture fill the vacuum.

Athleticism isn't generally regarded as a feminine virtue, so it is easy to see how a young lady who does well in sports might worry that she's 'not normal.' This might lead her to doubt her instincts and get mired in a relationship with an abusive dynamic.

 

[PairSkater12345]

I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, however, there are coaches who encourage their skaters to have sex with their partners. Those coaches believe that would help their pairs skaters to be able to show "romance" and "intimacy" on the ice. Yes, it is crazy and sickening. Many skaters, elite skaters especially, and their parents know what's going on at a certain ice rink. Like other posters have said, it's a very, very small world, and words travel lightning fast!

You have a delusional disorder

 

[Scrufflet]

Time for a shout out to Prancer for steering this thread in a logical, balanced, rational direction. Thank you!

 

[Bigbird]

Somehow I feel so dirty, I need an antibacterial shower and a good nights sleep. Ugh.

 

[angi]

Social media is the way people express themselves these days. In this case, those close to John were in absolute shock. Someone they loved died, unexpectedly, by his own hand, at a young age. A measured approach would be great, but unrealistic. They were paying tribute to the person THEY KNEW. Doesn't mean they were mosters who did not care about the possible victims. Not that you are implying that at all, but some people are taking their anger with the "supporters" too far. Just as some people are resorting to victim blaming (and blaming the victims family on top of it)... This is a rough situation all around, with no winners.

While I condemn the reactions some figure skaters got on their social media posts (I've only seen what was happening on Instagram) and I agree that in this day and age posting a eulogy on social media is the norm and a way to outlet their feelings, some of the posts were not just people sharing their sorrow and loss, a lot of the posts were glorifying the kind of man John was and assuming that several if not all of them knew what he was being accused of, we can't write it off as just a eulogy post online.
People like Adam Rippon and other skaters that posted have a very big following on social media, so when someone like Adam posts a very public post about how John is the best person he ever met and how kind and good he was, the person reading it and will later come across an article detailing what he was accused of is more likely to be disbelieving because a public figure gave such a good character assessment to the person being accused. So to post a RIP post or a post detailing their own grief and sorrow is one thing, but to post about how he was just the best person ever is completely tone deaf and disrespecting to the accusers who come from the very same community and had to watch their accusations being ignored by their peers and the person who abused them being portrayed as basically a saint. And when you combine it with the very large social media following some of these skaters have, it feels even more irresponsible and wrong.

 

[skateboy]

So to post a RIP post or a post detailing their own grief and sorrow is one thing, but to post about how he was just the best person ever is completely tone deaf and disrespecting to the accusers who come from the very same community and had to watch their accusations being ignored by their peers and the person who abused them being portrayed as basically a saint. And when you combine it with the very large social media following some of these skaters have, it feels even more irresponsible and wrong.

John did something bad, we know that now. And yes, his victims deserve our utmost sympathy for their traumas, as well as our respect and support for their bravery.

But people are allowed to grieve the loss of a loved one, regardless of his or her shortcomings. The man hanged himself, which is devastating. For family and friends, John had a positive impact on their lives, completely apart from his misdeeds. That, too, deserves our respect.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

Perhaps you are confused because Coughlin's family alleged that the first complaint came from a male rival of John's, but the alleged rival didn't complain on his own behalf. Otherwise, all of the complaints I am aware of have been about females.

Correct , thats how I understood it as well. A male contemporary rival of his accompanied the female victim coming forward.

 

[angi]

But people are allowed to grieve the loss of a loved one, regardless of his or her shortcomings. The man hanged himself, which is devastating. For family and friends, John had a positive impact on their lives, completely apart from his misdeeds. That, too, deserves our respect.

At no point did I say I have no respect for that, but I think the responsibility some of the skaters have as public figures outweigh their need to grieve a friend publicly when it comes to a complex issue as sexual abuse. Not to mention they had to know what that will do to the accusers and it did feel like many of them didn't seem to even think about that.

 

[skateboy]

At no point did I say I have no respect for that, but I think the responsibility some of the skaters have as public figures outweigh their need to grieve a friend publicly when it comes to a complex issue as sexual abuse. Not to mention they had to know what that will do to the accusers and it did feel like many of them didn't seem to even think about that.

I think we can agree that it is a horrible situation for all involved.