Coughlin's Former Pairs Partner Alleges He Abused Her

[UGG]

I wonder if a female coach had an inappropriate relationship with John when he was under age.

That’s just like wondering if R.Kelly was sexually molested when he was under age...which he was. It doesn’t excuse future behavior.

 

[OrioleBeagle]

That’s just like wondering if R.Kelly was sexually molested when he was under age...which he was. It doesn’t excuse future behavior.

That’s just like wondering if R.Kelly was sexually molested when he was under age...which he was. It doesn’t excuse future behavior.

I am not excusing anyone. Sexual abuse can be a vicious cycle.

 

[OrioleBeagle]

Aren't most male pairs skaters given preferential treatment . Do coaches and USFSA fail to hold them accountable for there actions because of the shortage of male skating partners? It reminds me of high school and college football stars. They are treated like royalty and get away with all kinds of wrong doing. This gives them big egos and makes them think they are above the law. A straight male skater can be a rooster in a hen house.

 

[Artistic Skaters]

There is also an article from the AP that has additional comments by Namiotka's attorney.

*** Ex-partner of deceased skater Coughlin says she was abused :
https://www.kshb.com/news/local-news/ex-partner-of-deceased-skater-coughlin-says-she-was-abused

"My office alone represents three women across a generation who really didn't know each other until they found they had very similar stories, and all of them wanted to keep their privacy because nobody wants to disclose this," said John Manley, who has represented victims of sexual abuse for more than 25 years. "I think Bridget has courageously said, 'I'm not going to take it anymore.'"

"I understand his family may not want to believe this, and I'm so sorry for this loss, but he did these things," Manley said. "It's not their fault. It's his fault."

"And for the sport, for U.S. Figure Skating, to allow this narrative to come out, how these women are just liars and want money — just a bunch of nonsense — is no accident," he said. "It was designed to victim-shame anybody else who might have been hurt by him and to keep them quiet."

"I wish U.S. Figure Skating had extended the sympathy to my clients that they extended to Mr. Coughlin and his family," Manley said. "There was a process in place that, allowed to play out, justice would have been done. Instead there's been a false narrative create to protect themselves."

 

[tony]

This is going to get messy. Manley isn't playing games and now he's outlined exactly what the problem has built up into. USFS better be ready with more than generic statements.

 

[coppertop1]

Aren't most male pairs skaters given preferential treatment . Do coaches and USFSA fail to hold them accountable for there actions because of the shortage of male skating partners? It reminds me of high school and college football stars. They are treated like royalty and get away with all kinds of wrong doing. This gives them big egos and makes them think they are above the law. A straight male skater can be a rooster in a hen house.

There seems to be a feeling on this forum that the USFSA has been more interested in playing CYA than finding the truth and taking action. There statements are all nice and prepared but don't really acknowledge the problem. It's not a stretch to think that some skaters may be getting preferential treatment. Again, this goes back the the coaches and what they know.

 

[kwanfan1818]

This is from pages back, but it could refer to what some including me thought was a large age difference, her underage and their public comments about an off ice relationship

She was not underaged: their relationship was legal in Colorado where they lived, as while she was a minor, she was 17 and he was not ten or more years older than she.

 

[breathesgelatin]

Some of the discussion around Namiotka has highlighted for me how relationships that are inappropriate are actually normalized and even romanticized by our culture and maybe especially in the subculture of pairs figure skating.

Putting myself in the position of Namiotka's parents, it is horrifying to think about inviting a young man to live with my family and then for grooming and abuse to happen.

It seems to me that the gendered dynamics and particular "bargaining power" that male figure skaters have in the partner "market" is really adding another toxic layer to this entire story. I can imagine that the power dynamic would play into many different interactions and any potential misconduct or grooming behaviors.

 

[coppertop1]

Some of the discussion around Namiotka has highlighted for me how relationships that are inappropriate are actually normalized and even romanticized by our culture and maybe especially in the subculture of pairs figure skating.

Putting myself in the position of Namiotka's parents, it is horrifying to think about inviting a young man to live with my family and then for grooming and abuse to happen.

It seems to me that the gendered dynamics and particular "bargaining power" that male figure skaters have in the partner "market" is really adding another toxic layer to this entire story. I can imagine that the power dynamic would play into many different interactions and any potential misconduct or grooming behaviors.

I think SafeSport said as much, stating there's a culture of grooming and abuse that has gone on for too long. It's not uncommon for pairs teams to have large age differences. In most cases, would people be comfortable with a seventeen-year-old dating a twenty-five year old?

A fourteen year old girl would not have enough confidence to leave an abusive relationship. It's up to the adults to protect minors, and in this case, they failed.

 

[VGThuy]

I cannot believe some posters are wondering how minors could be molested/sexually abused in their own homes under their parents' noses. There are so many cases of that happening. In fact, in psychology, it's well-known to happen and doctors see noticeable trends in people who grew up with that happening to them and how they later lash out as adults. I think people need to read up on sexual assault before they comment. There's literature out there to educate yourselves that will better inform you than posting on a figure skating forum hoping to get responses that align with your preconceived notions over how these things can or cannot happen.

 

[MsZem]

I cannot believe some posters are wondering how minors could be molested/sexually abused in their own homes under their parents' noses. There are so many cases of that happening.

Larry Nassar sexually molested girls whose mothers were in the same room without noticing anything wrong. Of course sexual abuse can happen under the same roof without the parents realizing it.

 

[skatfan]

This is going to get messy. Manley isn't playing games and now he's outlined exactly what the problem has built up into. USFS better be ready with more than generic statements.

Agreed. They are looking like clueless folks who hope they don’t get bankrupted like USA Gymnastics is.

 

[MsZem]

This is going to get messy. Manley isn't playing games and now he's outlined exactly what the problem has built up into. USFS better be ready with more than generic statements.

I hope his focus is on dealing with systemic issues in the culture of the sport and reporting wrongdoing, rather than on the USFS controlling the narrative regarding John Coughlin's actions. They were hardly in a position to stop Coughlin's family from giving interviews or journalists from reporting on them, and I imagine that they had to tread very carefully in their own statements due to legal considerations.

USFS needs to make sure that the sport is safe for everyone who engages in it, especially those who are most vulnerable to abuse. It needs to train skaters, coaches and parents to recognize subtle signs that something may be wrong, and to encourage them to take action. It needs to listen to those who report wrongdoing, take them seriously and make sure they have access to the resources they need. It needs to work with investigatory and judicial authorities when appropriate, because this is not "just" a sports issue.

I don't know what kind of procedures were in place for this when Bridget was still skating, or what there is now, but clearly there's a lot of work to be done.

 

[JamieElena]

You'd think so, but some people on social media are saying skaters who even did a neutral RIP gesture right after they heard the news of his death because they knew him personally but made no further comment are being accused of silencing survivors and perpetuating a culture of blaming survivors or disbelieving them because imagine how they would have felt seeing all these skaters they probably also knew or admired posting "RIP" or even bigger tributes to Coughlin even knowing he was being investigated by SafeSport. After Namiotka came out on FB and Brennan wrote her article, some people have been tagging skaters who did just that months ago and nothing more and cursing them out for not believing victims in the first place.

Yeah, there's a few posters on Twitter who were attaching all levels of skaters to nasty tweets wishing them evil & worse for just posting an RIP post. In my opinion, there's only a few skaters who actually need to publicly apologize for defending Coughlin....the foremost being Chris Knierim....i.e., those who really argued with folks on SM during Nationals. The others, if they just posted one or two remembrance/RIP posts are best served by just ignoring these people & their tweets. That said, I think Max Settlage (who didn't need to address any of them IMO) handled one of those people very well in his responses yesterday.

 

[barbarafan]

Yeah, there's a few posters on Twitter who were attaching all levels of skaters to nasty tweets wishing them evil & worse for just posting an RIP post. In my opinion, there's only a few skaters who actually need to publicly apologize for defending Coughlin....the foremost being Chris Knierim....i.e., those who really argued with folks on SM during Nationals. The others, if they just posted one or two remembrance/RIP posts are best served by just ignoring these people & their tweets. That said, I think Max Settlage (who didn't need to address any of them IMO) handled one of those people very well in his responses yesterday.

Everyone should be sad at a loss of life. Even if these actions did happen (I am not suggesting they did not) when he was younger there were many people who loved him or considered him a dear friend and they have the right to grieve his passing and express this if they feel the need. They are showing their respect for the relationship they had with him as is their right.

 

[judiz]

According to Wikipedia, she teamed up with Coughlin in late 2004 and they announced the end of the partnership July 3, 2007, so they skated together about two and a half years. She was born in January of 1990, so she would have been not quite 15 when they started skating together and 17 and a half when they parted ways.

So I still think it's likely she was 15 for at least part of the time. Of course, Wiki could be wrong (it often is), but those are also the dates in the announcement of their breakup that was posted earlier.

I don't think statutory rape is the issue, but still.

Remember most of Larry Nassar’s victims did not know his actions were inappropriate at the time, they were all under the impression that it was normal procedure because it happened to everyone. Perhaps the same holds true for Bridget, and only recently did she realize what happened between her and John was not appropriate.

 

[bardtoob]

I feel bad for the person that wrote the Facebook post.

However, I know a person who hung themselves and was guilty of nothing.

 

[judiz]

I feel bad for the person that wrote the Facebook post.

However, I know a person who hung themselves and was guilty of nothing.

As the wife of someone who committed suicide, I agree it was a very poor choice of words stated at a very stressful time.

 

[bardtoob]

My thought is that the person that wrote the Facebook post had the same initials as the person referenced by SafeSport and people figured it out.

 

[bardtoob]

Putting myself in the position of Namiotka's parents, it is horrifying to think about inviting a young man to live with my family and then for grooming and abuse to happen.

Ummm ... You put yourself in the position of idiot parents that moved an unrelated teenage guy into their house. The outcome could be a completely consentual relationship and still bad for the parents as well for their daughter and guy (ie unplanned pregnancy during high school, etc.)

Seriously, I know everybody thinks lawsuits are the solution, but they only provide compensation for the victim, not reversal of negative outcomes. The treat of a lawsuit is not protection.

 

[Perky Shae Lynn]

I assume law suits are coming. Likely against John's estate and USFS.

 

[Perky Shae Lynn]

Ummm ... You put yourself in the position of idiot parents that moved an unrelated teenage guy into their house. The outcome could be a completely consentual relationship and still bad for the parents as well for their daughter and guy (ie unplanned pregnancy during high school, etc.)

This is nothing new in figure skating, both pairs and dance. Boys are at such a premium, girls parents will do everything they can to secure a favorable partnership.

 

[bardtoob]

This is nothing new in figure skating, both pairs and dance. Boys are at such a premium, girls parents will do everything they can to secure a favorable partnership.

1) And what I said is nothing new for all of human existence.

Maybe figure skating really is for people with common sense completely bred out of them.

2) It sounds like the parents of the girl are enabling the stranger boy to have more power than their daughter in her own home.

 

[okokok777]

Yeah, there's a few posters on Twitter who were attaching all levels of skaters to nasty tweets wishing them evil & worse for just posting an RIP post. In my opinion, there's only a few skaters who actually need to publicly apologize for defending Coughlin....the foremost being Chris Knierim....i.e., those who really argued with folks on SM during Nationals. The others, if they just posted one or two remembrance/RIP posts are best served by just ignoring these people & their tweets. That said, I think Max Settlage (who didn't need to address any of them IMO) handled one of those people very well in his responses yesterday.

Everyone should be sad at a loss of life. Even if these actions did happen (I am not suggesting they did not) when he was younger there were many people who loved him or considered him a dear friend and they have the right to grieve his passing and express this if they feel the need. They are showing their respect for the relationship they had with him as is their right.

At the same time, these people knew that John had been temporarily suspended by SafeSport. I also HIGHLY doubt that they were unaware that he was being accused of sexual abuse (or that they were all unaware that he actually HAD assaulted several girls). They have a right to mourn, however, they did not have to do it through social media.

Several of the survivors saw the outpouring of support on social media as a clear sign of support towards JC. Skating is a small world. If the skaters were really "unaware" of the allegations against JC, they could have found out pretty quickly (After his initial restriction in mid-December, it took me less than two hours to find out about the allegations and I am not an elite skater by any means).

They were either willfully ignorant or they knew about the abuse and chose to praise him, anyways. In turn, they are complicit (and in many cases, contributing) to a culture of silence and abuse.

A public apology and acknowledgment of the survivors would be a huge step towards addressing abuse culture within the sport. It would show survivors that the high profile members of the skating community are willing to learn from their mistakes. It may also help some of John's survivors on their journey to recover from the sadness, trauma and shame that they have been feeling in regards to this tragedy.

 

[Lara111]

Aren't most male pairs skaters given preferential treatment . Do coaches and USFSA fail to hold them accountable for there actions because of the shortage of male skating partners? It reminds me of high school and college football stars. They are treated like royalty and get away with all kinds of wrong doing. This gives them big egos and makes them think they are above the law. A straight male skater can be a rooster in a hen house.

Stop blaming all male skaters. This is just ridiculous.

 

[bardtoob]

...

 

[MsZem]

Stop blaming all male skaters. This is just ridiculous.

You need to work on your reading comprehension.

The shortage of male pairs skaters and ice dancers does put them in an advantageous position, and certainly there can be financial benefits to being in demand. This does not mean that all male skaters (or even most of them) use their power inappropriately.

 

[PairSkater12345]

Aren't most male pairs skaters given preferential treatment . Do coaches and USFSA fail to hold them accountable for there actions because of the shortage of male skating partners? It reminds me of high school and college football stars. They are treated like royalty and get away with all kinds of wrong doing. This gives them big egos and makes them think they are above the law. A straight male skater can be a rooster in a hen house.

You obviously don't know pairs. At the lower levels there are far more girls trying to find a partner than boys. Likely because there are more girls skating and pairs gives them options. As teams progress and girls get real pairs experience doing difficult elements, the field narrows quickly. Finding and selecting the right partnership is very difficult as you progress through the levels to elite. The girls are very talented and quite fearless. The comment that pairs men are treated like royalty and get away with wrong doing is totally unfounded.

Inferring that USFSA doesn't hold male pairs accountable is a ridiculous statement. That "Rooster in a hen house" statement is offensive.

 

[barbarafan]

At the same time, these people knew that John had been temporarily suspended by SafeSport. I also HIGHLY doubt that they were unaware that he was being accused of sexual abuse (or that they were all unaware that he actually HAD assaulted several girls). They have a right to mourn, however, they did not have to do it through social media.

Several of the survivors saw the outpouring of support on social media as a clear sign of support towards JC. Skating is a small world. If the skaters were really "unaware" of the allegations against JC, they could have found out pretty quickly (After his initial restriction in mid-December, it took me less than two hours to find out about the allegations and I am not an elite skater by any means).

They were either willfully ignorant or they knew about the abuse and chose to praise him, anyways. In turn, they are complicit (and in many cases, contributing) to a culture of silence and abuse.

A public apology and acknowledgment of the survivors would be a huge step towards addressing abuse culture within the sport. It would show survivors that the high profile members of the skating community are willing to learn from their mistakes. It may also help some of John's survivors on their journey to recover from the sadness, trauma and shame that they have been feeling in regards to this tragedy.

John's close friends were not responsible for how badly their grief was missinterrupted by the survivors. You are saying they have a right to grieve...but not on social media? Everything is done on social media nowadays. It is called freedom of speech. It is very inappropriate to attack them. There is a time and place for everything. As far as safesport is concerned they should have kept investigating and got complete stories from all the victims at this point any contacts or reports which were given to USFS or coaches or rink personnel should be investigated and blame attributed in order to prevent future happenings and to give justice to the survivors. USFS if found they were aware should be responsible for any monetary expenses of therapy and treatment for the victims and the dismissal of any staff still remaining who knew. There could have been 1 victim instead of 10.

 

[Perky Shae Lynn]

Stop blaming all male skaters. This is just ridiculous.

I am going to ask this question in good faith: are you a teenager? If so, perhaps this discussion is too mature.