Baby Question

[woodstock]

I was a big breastfeeding fail too. Tortured me and my daughter for 6 weeks before I just went to formula. She became plump and happy and I became less stressed immediately. Best formula tips for Susan-try an get a cheap BJ's membership or similar. I can get 40% larger container for only $4 more than target costs. Also-have as many people get on formula coupon mailing list-stores don't care who the coupon is for-I've gotten whole containers free this way. Also go on the local FB mommy sites. I regularly trade any coupons I get for enfamil/gerber formula for other mom's similac (my brand) finds. Because for some reason even though you buy similac- the store always prints an enfamil coupon at checkout. Corporate jerks that way.

 

[attyfan]

Welcome Peyton.

 

[Susan1]

nice. You can always give it a try - babies are different, and your body is. As long as everyone gets fed and are happy and relaxed it is what is best for the baby .

My cousin said she wanted her to keep trying because babies get more nutrients from breast milk or something. Who knows.

 

[Susan1]

I was a big breastfeeding fail too. Tortured me and my daughter for 6 weeks before I just went to formula. She became plump and happy and I became less stressed immediately. Best formula tips for Susan-try an get a cheap BJ's membership or similar. I can get 40% larger container for only $4 more than target costs. Also-have as many people get on formula coupon mailing list-stores don't care who the coupon is for-I've gotten whole containers free this way. Also go on the local FB mommy sites. I regularly trade any coupons I get for enfamil/gerber formula for other mom's similac (my brand) finds. Because for some reason even though you buy similac- the store always prints an enfamil coupon at checkout. Corporate jerks that way.

I'll let my cousin know.

p.s. don't you hate that the store prints out coupons for the opposite thing from what you just bought!!! If I wanted to buy that brand, I would have bought that brand. I've also gotten register coupons for Pediacare when I've bought instant breakfast. Quite different.

 

[Susan1]

Welcome Peyton.

Thanks - and to everybody else who welcomed him.

BTW, his middle name is not Manning, even though that's where she got the first name.

 

[maatTheViking]

My cousin said she wanted her to keep trying because babies get more nutrients from breast milk or something. Who knows.

There is a lot of research that show that you can help you baby with anti bodies through breastmilk. I believe I recall, but I am not sure, that the effect wanes over time as the baby gets its own immune system. So if you can do it a for a week or 2, that is great. Or even just the first day, even if it is partial (that is at least what they told me in the hospital - no 1 was early, so he was partially on formula the first 1.5 week as they worried he got enough calories).

I also know that some people donate breastmilk you then can bottle feed. She could look into that too.

There are some research that shows that breastmilk might contain nutrients that helps build the brain, but as far as I know the research here is more inconclusive.
I know that in countries where you do not have access to good nutrition in general (like clean water, fortified milk & grains), it is more important to breastfeed.

as for pain/discomfort, she may try a nipple shield. It really helped with mini vikings latch.

 

[TheGirlCanSkate]

It can really be uncomfortable until your body gets used to it. Lots of people do it part time - she can try nursing when she is home and formula when she isn't. I can't imagine just nursing if I was a student and working full time. It's hard to find places to pump. I worked full time and was blessed with a locking door to a private office and a set schedule, sink, fridge, and privacy. Most aren't so lucky.

 

[Susan1]

It can really be uncomfortable until your body gets used to it. Lots of people do it part time - she can try nursing when she is home and formula when she isn't. I can't imagine just nursing if I was a student and working full time. It's hard to find places to pump. I worked full time and was blessed with a locking door to a private office and a set schedule, sink, fridge, and privacy. Most aren't so lucky.

The last place I temped, they took an empty office and put in a comfy chair and table and lamp. It had a keypad to press to get in. I thought that was neat.

Every time I see breast pump I think of me, at 28 and childless, trying to help my ex-husband's (when we were dating) 16 year old daughter who just had a baby figure it out. We were laughing so hard we were crying and had to move to the kitchen floor to keep from falling off the chairs. And telling each other we were going to wet ourselves (not the word she used). Her father and the baby's father came running in because they thought something terrible happened because we were practically sobbing. We were in pain though! LOL right now.

 

[Susan1]

There is a lot of research that show that you can help you baby with anti bodies through breastmilk. I believe I recall, but I am not sure, that the effect wanes over time as the baby gets its own immune system. So if you can do it a for a week or 2, that is great. Or even just the first day, even if it is partial (that is at least what they told me in the hospital - no 1 was early, so he was partially on formula the first 1.5 week as they worried he got enough calories).

Yeah, antibodies. I didn't have my email open when I wrote about the problem. I don't think my cousin remembers any of this other stuff after 23 years. I'm sure her daughter could get online if she has concerns.

 

[ballettmaus]

Yeah, antibodies. I didn't have my email open when I wrote about the problem. I don't think my cousin remembers any of this other stuff after 23 years. I'm sure her daughter could get online if she has concerns.

Not only anti-bodies but there's something (I think an enzyme, don't remember exactly) in breastmilk which "teaches" babies when they're full so that they'll never eat more than they need. So, thinking ahead into the future, it's a factor which helps children to not become overweight because this natural mechanism is instilled through breast-feeding.

 

[AxelAnnie]

True. But IIRC it is not an enzyme but rather supply and demand....and the baby controls the demand. There have been lots of studies that show that babies...not newborns...offered a variety of healthy foods will pick exactly what they need. Not at each meal...bit over the course of a week. May be all carrots one day...all chicken the next. All their fat cells are laid down in the first few min nuts of life..from then on it is management. But the less cat cells you have the better. My first daughter was so chubby people would stop me in the market to tell me to stop feeding her. Totally breast Fed til 6months. I believed what they ..la leche league told me.....they won't eat more than they need. This daughter is lA model thin and eats what she wants. Personally. Hate her.

The hormone part is th best though. Oxytocin releases th AAAHhhhhhh moment when the baby latches on and the milk let's down. Peace spreads through you. It is a wonderful gift.I was a La Leche League Leader...and helped lots of people I including one mom with triplets (she said her secret was that she just had to be a little organized.....to a woman who adopted a baby to latch on to her nipple where a tiny tube went from a small piece of tubing which ended at the nipple and the breast milk was in a bag between the moms breasts. After the stimulation of th nipples for a few weeks......her milk came in and it was just like normal.

I can't think of anything more convenient than breastfeeding. No sterilizing....no mixing...just a hungry kid and a full boob. And f that is not good enough you have the perfect reason to leave a room....sit and watch figure skating or lay down with the kid...highly recommend it.

 

[Susan1]

Just have to share - while cousin was at Kroger getting baby medicine (kidney problem after an ultrasound with no insurance), cousin's daughter started the laundry (while not supposed to be going up and down the steps yet). Father of the baby was asleep on the couch when cousin walked in and she LET HIM HAVE IT. Yay!!!!!!! About the money and the laziness. And he went outside to "pout" (her word!) and smoke an e-cigarette. He said he was thinking about asking his dad to put the baby on HIS insurance. Huh? And he thinks he should move down there and get a job. Doing what? $8 an hour. Where is he going to live? Not with them. I just want to scream. Or beat the carp out of somebody. A little later, he said he had to leave to help his grandmother (in Columbus?) put up Christmas decorations. Maybe he will never go back to Cincinnati!!!!

BTW - breast feeding is getting easier. And she IS PLANNING to take two unpaid weeks after the two paid weeks off. Who knows how that will work. And finals are over. She doesn't go back till mid January and only has classes on campus on Tuesday and Thursday. Sheesh. Now if she could just get rid of the biggest baby.

I think this situation is a much better lesson than any of the sin lectures her brother (my other cousin) could give his younger kids against premarital sex! ha ha

 

[maatTheViking]

I once had an acquaintance who had a baby very young, I think at 18. She said that halfway through pregnancy she kicked out the boyfriend (who was the father) since he was just too immature. She said that having a baby made her grow up real fast, and she had no time for that. FWIW her son when I knew her was 5, and a lovely kid.

 

[meggonzo]

Can people put grandkids on their insurance? Wouldn't they have to be legal guardian?

 

[Susan1]

Can people put grandkids on their insurance? Wouldn't they have to be legal guardian?

That's what I said!!!!!! He's a (let me think of a PG rated description....) a$$ hat.

 

[once_upon]

Google it.
It depends on the state, the grandparents employer's plan, the age and employment status of the parent. It's not a yes or no question. If you don't know for certain, it's better to investigate before assuming the worst. It might even be that the grandparents had suggested it as a potential option

 

[my little pony]

my employer used to let people put their grandchildren on their insurance in certain circumstances. when they rightfully kicked them all off about 10 yrs ago, there was all sorts of whinging about it.

 

[once_upon]

While it sounds like - and I am guessing only by your comments on WIC and desire to not enroll - that being on Medicaid would notbe readily accepted, if Peyton has kidney issues as you alluded to, getting him enrolled in a heath insurance program is going to be essential before 30 days has expired..

I don't know Ohio plans but if Peyton was my child or grandchild, I would go to my state's HHS website and check it out. Particularly to avoid the preexisting clauses issues.

JMO

 

[PDilemma]

While it sounds like - and I am guessing only by your comments on WIC and desire to not enroll - that being on Medicaid would notbe readily accepted, if Peyton has kidney issues as you alluded to, getting him enrolled in a heath insurance program is going to be essential before 30 days has expired..

I don't know Ohio plans but if Peyton was my child or grandchild, I would go to my state's HHS website and check it out. Particularly to avoid the preexisting clauses issues.

JMO

He is not Susan1's child or grandchild. He is her cousin's grandchild. Google tells me that makes the child her first cousin twice removed.

 

[once_upon]

I was referring to me - if I had a grandchild or cousin or other family member (which I do have a grandchild who parents did not had health insurance) I would seek options especially if there could be issues

 

[Xela M]

Susan, I've been reading this thread and I'm sorry for the unpopular opinion, but you and your cousin really need to give the father of the baby a break! It sounds like he is actually making plans to be in the baby's life and do his best to support it and he even turned up at the hospital for the birth, which indicates that he is really trying. Having been married to a man who truly couldn't give a shit about his only child, I can tell you that what the father of Peyton is doing is not at all indicative of a man who doesn't care about his child. Give him a break and he may turn out OK.

 

[AxelAnnie]

Oh I wouldn't be giving the dad any breaks until he gets a full time job with health benefits. And everyone needs to get health insurance and be fine a cable responsible. That lovely baby needs a home with adults who are prepared to keep her save and well.

 

[Xela M]

Oh I wouldn't be giving the dad any breaks until he gets a full time job with health benefits. And everyone needs to get health insurance and be fine a cable responsible. That lovely baby needs a home with adults who are prepared to keep her save and well.

The situation is new to him too. He's a young guy and should be allowed some time to adjust. It's not like he can get a good job from one day to the next. It sounds like he is making plans to be in the child's life and to help out. Trust me, that's already a big step.

And marriage certainly is no indication that men will care for their kids. My ex-husband did not even come to the hospital for the birth because the situation "stressed him out" and he got high on weed with his brother instead and was not even contactable the next morning. I realise that my ex was a "special" moron, but I'm just trying to say that Peyton's dad doesn't sound as awful as Susan seems to think.

 

[Susan1]

While it sounds like - and I am guessing only by your comments on WIC and desire to not enroll - that being on Medicaid would notbe readily accepted, if Peyton has kidney issues as you alluded to, getting him enrolled in a heath insurance program is going to be essential before 30 days has expired..

I don't know Ohio plans but if Peyton was my child or grandchild, I would go to my state's HHS website and check it out. Particularly to avoid the preexisting clauses issues.
JMO

Yeah, don't think I haven't mentioned it a time or four. She will get her own/and baby insurance through work in February. And cousin said she cried when she was trying to fill out the "welfare" forms because she was not raised that way. Personally, I think she was not raised to get pregnant by an immature jerk, but it is what it is, and the baby should be her first priority. But, hey, why humiliate yourself when your mother will pay for everything while the boyfriend pops into town and lounges around. (I made a rhyme!!)

If she was on Medicaid (I know states are different), I wonder how the pre-existing thing would affect them. They have been doing ultrasounds on his underdeveloped kidneys all along so that would be pre-existing. BTW the ongoing dwarfism/not/is/not scare turned out to be a total non-issue. Geez!!

 

[Susan1]

The situation is new to him too. He's a young guy and should be allowed some time to adjust. It's not like he can get a good job from one day to the next. It sounds like he is making plans to be in the child's life and to help out. Trust me, that's already a big step.

And marriage certainly is no indication that men will care for their kids. My ex-husband did not even come to the hospital for the birth because the situation "stressed him out" and he got high on weed with his brother instead and was not even contactable the next morning. I realise that my ex was a "special" moron, but I'm just trying to say that Peyton's dad doesn't sound as awful as Susan seems to think.

He's a 24 year old loser! Latest email, cousin said she talked to her daughter after she yelled at him and he went back to Columbus, and daughter feels sorry for him because he doesn't get along with his parents or stepparents. Well, duh.

They all brought presents (cases of different sizes of diapers, a convertible to bed crib, the stepmother MADE a set of crib sheets/bumper pads, etc., clothes and other stuff) probably because they know the father of the baby hasn't contributed "ten cents" (cousin's words) for 9 months. And when he is there visiting, who do you think is paying for his food. He probably asked for money for gas so he could see his son!!!! aaarrrggghhh (small letters because I am getting used to trying not to be so upset from up here)

I wish she could talk to her brother, who could give him a good "I'm a father of four and it hasn't always been easy" talk. Maybe he could pray over him to shape up or stay away. hee hee hee

Forgot - in reply to my reply that he posted a picture of them from the hospital bed on Facebook (which she doesn't do) and had "Daddy" congratulations and surprise from his friends, she wrote "he has friends?". I must admit, I cackled at that one.

 

[Xela M]

Well, you can't change the fact that he's the father. It's not his fault he's broke. It's your counsin's daughter who decided to make him the father of her child. So instead of picking on him now for things that he can't immediately change, maybe try to find a solution and try to make it work. It sounds like he is proud to be a father and wants to be involved, which is a great start.

 

[Susan1]

He is not Susan1's child or grandchild. He is her cousin's grandchild. Google tells me that makes the child her first cousin twice removed.

Actually, I have been designated the grandcousin!

Glad you looked it up though. I was going to. WHAT movie was that with people standing around at a cocktail party discussing how people were related, with the once removed and stuff??????? shoot.

 

[taf2002]

Oh I wouldn't be giving the dad any breaks until he gets a full time job with health benefits. And everyone needs to get health insurance and be fine a cable responsible. That lovely baby needs a home with adults who are prepared to keep her save and well.

So without even knowing the guy you've decided that if he doesn't fit your idea of what's right & proper then he's a hopeless case. It's not up to you or Susan1 or anyone other than the mother to "give the dad a break". Besides, he seems to be doing just fine without your approval. When I was in social work many years ago the 1st thing they stressed to us is NOT to put your own values & expectations on your clients. I don't know the guy's story but one thing I do know - he's not running. He's in the picture. To me that's HUGE. I think it's sweet that he posted pictures on Facebook.

You know, not all full-time jobs come with health benefits. And even if they are offered, a person on minimum wages may not be able to afford the premiums. You don't know if the guy is trying to find a job. When the unemployment numbers are issued, those are real people who make up those numbers.

 

[Susan1]

So without even knowing the guy you've decided that if he doesn't fit your idea of what's right & proper then he's a hopeless case. It's not up to you or Susan1 or anyone other than the mother to "give the dad a break". Besides, he seems to be doing just fine without your approval. When I was in social work many years ago the 1st thing they stressed to us is NOT to put your own values & expectations on your clients. I don't know the guy's story but one thing I do know - he's not running. He's in the picture. To me that's HUGE. I think it's sweet that he posted pictures on Facebook.

You know, not all full-time jobs come with health benefits. And even if they are offered, a person on minimum wages may not be able to afford the premiums. You don't know if the guy is trying to find a job. When the unemployment numbers are issued, those are real people who make up those numbers.

You replied to someone else, but since this is my family, I will respond. He's "not doing fine". Posting a picture is not being a FATHER. One of the comments was "whoaaa. congrats, man?" He didn't even tell his parents/stepparents that he got a girl pregnant till she was due. If being in the picture is hanging out on his baby's grandmother's couch while SHE goes to get the baby medicine and the baby's mother is going up and down stairs which she is not supposed to do to do laundry, please erase that picture. He was all excited to be a Daddy. He is not a good father.

And if you had been reading along for the past couple weeks, you would know that he just got a job in a bar making $8/hr. to pay his $150/month rent to a friend whose house he is "living" in and has not contributed "ten cents" (sorry, that's the expression she used) to anything concerning HIS baby or the baby's mother.

And, BTW, my cousin has a Master's in Social Work. Doesn't mean she has to like the scum bucket that is all talk and no action and has a lame excuse for everything.

 

[taf2002]

Well, she got in bed with him so I think she "liked" something about him. And YOU don't get to decide whether he's doing fine or not. (By that I meant he is not affected by AxelAnnie's or your approval.) Unless you personally are required to babysit or financially support the baby, none of this is your business. How would you like it if your cousin felt that she was entitled to approve or disapprove your life decisions? If you love her, emotionally support her. Period. The baby is here, it's a done deal.