Baby Question

[Skittl1321]

You can also use them to make online purchases the same as you would a credit card, but that IMO is incredibly STUPID because you are opening your bank account up for anyone who happens to hack your card number. And your bank is not going to flag your account on suspicion of hacking. Discover Card, OTOH, flagged my account back in January because my card DID get hacked, and two transactions were put on it that looked suspicious due to my previous activity. They reversed the charges and issued me new cards with a new account number.

If you have a debit card that won't do exactly what Discover Card did, you really need a new bank.

I'm not liable for any fraudulent charges on my debit card, same as on my credit card. If someone did get the number (whether it be from online fraud or ATM skimming) and drain my bank acount- the bank puts the money back.

 

[Artistic Skaters]

My first post was wondering what the point was of doing the genetic testing a week before the baby is due. The baby is going to come out the way he comes out. Lynn is the one who keeps saying that they are doing all these tests for the money. Why do an ultrasound every two weeks if they are going to change their minds every time and scare the unwed pregnant lady? (There’s another one!! scheduled for Monday.)

How come only an *unwed* pregnant lady would be scared in this situation? Further, when this pregnant lady had complications, I tried to recognize the value of the extra tests since it gave the doctor & hospital staff the information they needed to prepare for any problems that needed to be addressed as soon as the baby was delivered. While it's understandable that any mother-to-be, unwed or otherwise, would be scared in this situation, it seems like it would be better than not to have as much information as possible in the case of developmental problems, prematurity or any other myriad of things that can arise. Claiming it's only being done to "get more money" is a big assumption based on what's been posted so far. I'm surprised it's one you feel so confident making considering the tight controls many insurance companies currently use to review & authorize necessary & acceptable procedures.

And why is my attitude any of your business? I'll tell Lynn you said to stop reading her emails.

Perhaps because you're posting it in a public forum along with your cousin's name & lots of her family's personal information??????

 

[snoopy]

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Credit_Card_vs_Debit_Card

 

[VGThuy]

Excuse me? What backwater Podunk bank do you use that doesn't flag your account for suspicious activity? My banks immediately notify me via text, email and telephone call if they see suspicious activity on my account. I have had my account hacked and the bank immediately reversed the charges and sent me a new debit card.

If you have a debit card that won't do exactly what Discover Card did, you really need a new bank.

I'm not liable for any fraudulent charges on my debit card, same as on my credit card. If someone did get the number (whether it be from online fraud or ATM skimming) and drain my bank acount- the bank puts the money back.

Same here. My bank is a little too diligent when I use my card out of town and I had to call them when they wouldn't approve a purchase a few times to verify that it was indeed me making that purchase.* The one time I had my card information stolen, I was refunded all of the money and sent a new card promptly. I also have a classic non-credit card logo ATM/debit card I was able to use in stores that take debit or at ATMs where I could withdraw cash. It's really not that scary to use a debit card as most people now use that as opposed to carrying a ton of cash. I know I feel a lot better if someone stole my debit card than I would if someone stole a bunch of cash.

I mean people can do whatever makes them feel comfortable, it's their life. However, just clarifying a few things.

*ETA: Actually, the last time, the bank sent me both a text and an email and all I had to do was answer for them to open it back up immediately.

 

[Japanfan]

I know I feel a lot better if someone stole my debit card than I would if someone stole a bunch of cash.

I mean people can do whatever makes them feel comfortable, it's their life. However, just clarifying a few things.

*ETA: Actually, the last time, the bank sent me both a text and an email and all I had to do was answer for them to open it back up immediately.

I've had a few situations where there was concern that my debit card had been compromised, and the matter was handled promptly and efficiently. I use my debit most of the time, but sometimes use cash because it's quicker than having to deal with the machine. Oh, and then there's the tip prompt, which can be annoying.

I also use Pay Pal and inter-e transfers for my business all the time, but a lot of people are very uncomfortable with those methods of transacting finances. There was a fear that Pay Pal's security had been breached a few years ago, so I changed my password just to be safe. Other than that, it's been fine. I suppose identity theft is always a danger, but then so is purse-snatching or a break-and-enter.

 

[misskarne]

Same here. My bank is a little too diligent when I use my card out of town and I had to call them when they wouldn't approve a purchase a few times to verify that it was indeed me making that purchase.*

In my internet banking I have the option to notify the bank when I am going somewhere. Do you have that option?

 

[Skittl1321]

In my internet banking I have the option to notify the bank when I am going somewhere. Do you have that option?

I know I do, but I forget. I've spent the last fee vacations in the airport frantically calling credit card companies before we leave the country. But my debit card gets flagged anytime I go out of state. So I just try to remember not to use it because out of stet isn't really that far away a lot if the times.

 

[Susan1]

How come only an *unwed* pregnant lady would be scared in this situation? Further, when this pregnant lady had complications, I tried to recognize the value of the extra tests since it gave the doctor & hospital staff the information they needed to prepare for any problems that needed to be addressed as soon as the baby was delivered. While it's understandable that any mother-to-be, unwed or otherwise, would be scared in this situation, it seems like it would be better than not to have as much information as possible in the case of developmental problems, prematurity or any other myriad of things that can arise. Claiming it's only being done to "get more money" is a big assumption based on what's been posted so far. I'm surprised it's one you feel so confident making considering the tight controls many insurance companies currently use to review & authorize necessary & acceptable procedures.

Perhaps because you're posting it in a public forum along with your cousin's name & lots of her family's personal information??????

Did I pee in your cornflakes in a former life or something? Is there a reason that you are making things up just so you can ream me out? First of all, I did not use the word "only". The unwed pregnant part was Lynn's words, and I certainly did not infer from her comment that she thought her daughter was the only person in the world who should not have the doctor's office scare her yet again.

And I did get a nice comment from someone very early on about the reasons for all the back and forth with the ultrasounds and being prepared for complications. I believe I thanked them and wrote that I would let Lynn know what someone who knew what they were talking about commented. I have only repeated the concern to re-address later comments that brought up my stupidity again.

"Claiming it's only being done to "get more money" is a big assumption based on what's been posted so far. I'm surprised it's one you feel so confident making" -

Again, Lynn's words. I am almost absolutely positive that I have prefaced that comment with "Lynn wrote" or "Lynn thinks" every time.

And how do you know that "Lynn" is actually her name? Shall I put quotation marks and italicize the names like they do in Dear Abby? And I am still confused about why anyone on this forum would tell a stranger to mind her own business or butt out of a family situation that she was brought into. As soon as I got my cousin who shall not be named's email, this is the first place I thought of (after the evil internet) where there might be plenty of people (I was going to say ladies/women/females but I don't want to be accused of excluding men who might have experience with pregnancy) who would have advice I could pass along.

 

[meggonzo]

Is your cousin looking for advice, or does she just need someone to vent to?

No one is making things up, but just using what you posted back at you. A lot of your statements are very judgmental and that's why people are telling you that you should probably butt out of the situation.

 

[Susan1]

Is your cousin looking for advice, or does she just need someone to vent to?

No one is making things up, but just using what you posted back at you. A lot of your statements are very judgmental and that's why people are telling you that you should probably butt out of the situation.

Writing that I said something about only unwed pregnant ladies should be scared? Or that my cousin was artificially inseminated by a gay man? Or that I thought that the doctors were trying to get money by doing so many ultrasounds?

Cousin is venting AND asking me if I know anything about whatever/can you look this up, etc. (She's less tech savvy than I am). I'm not butting into anything. I am 40 miles away. I reply to her emails, which are also about other stuff.

She didn't even mention anything about the dwarfism possibly when we met for lunch on November 7. Then I get a hysterical email about the OB texting the pregnant daughter. And longer and more frequent emails than I have gotten in YEARS.

As for judgmental, just reporting the facts and opinions and clarifying things to people who comment their feelings. And as for the father, I'd like to see someone spin unicorns and rainbows out of that mess. 24 years old, lives with a bunch of guys who think it's a frat house and who had the electricity turned off because they didn't pay the bill; drives a 20 year old car (not a registered classic car, a beat up pimpmobile -- cousin doesn't know cars and I can only see the driver's door, but I'm thinking it might be an old "boat" of a Cadillac or something?); was going to give cousin's daughter $500 months ago but needed it for some electronic song writing equipment (cousin says he writes songs on the computer and thinks he is going to be the next big thing - she mentioned it at lunch <with plenty of eye rolling and huffing> and in an email - I'm not exactly sure what she meant because she didn't know what she meant either!!!); almost didn't make the shower because said car broke down on I-70; he did just get another job - at a bar, which is all fine and dandy. Maybe he's a bouncer? Or can make good tips charming the ladies. Who knows. Cousin said her daughter already would not leave the baby alone with him or let him drive them anywhere.

The Facebook page really disturbed me. His cover picture is him wearing black pants, a black shirt and a black jacket leaning against the pimpmobile smoking a cigar looking like someone who should be driving a pimpmobile. And his comment about his own picture was some current rap/hiphop type language that I would take to mean he thinks he's god's gift to women. Then there's the picture of his gun collection. No it's not a bunch of cute little guns in safe boxes or hunting rifles in a nice locked maple cabinet. It's a variety of black guns laid out on a table that kind of reminds me of a police drug raid on the news. Father of the year? I think not.

(Oh no. Now I am going to get replies saying I am insulting their fathers who own guns!)

Cousin already wants to "smack him into next week". I didn't mention the gun picture thing. None of my business, huh?

Just trying to be available by checking email three times a day (and no, neither of us have smart phones). When it actually baby time, she'll probably call from the hospital on her daughter's phone.

And I AM just writing all this to strangers because I absolutely would not discuss any of this with our other relatives. My cousin and I have always been friends. We used to write letters on real stationery with colored pens all through high school cause they lived 100 miles away. Her one brother is a staunch Catholic. And she hasn't spoken to her deceased brother's widow since they had a big blow up about her sexual orientation in 2004. (I was getting emails at work back then from both sides about the other. Geez.) Cousin's daughter and deceased cousin's daughters, who would be her cousins themselves, do not speak. And one of THEM is a doctor and a mother now, which would probably be a helpful person to talk to. But no...............

They all give me a headache. I don't need it from here too! Thank you, meggonzo, for being kind.

 

[Artistic Skaters]

I don't eat cornflakes. But I did consume a little too much of the low income, "inner-city", unwed mother, moneygrubbing doctor, disabled=unable analyses (& now 20 year old pimpmobile) talk during the holiday season. It has caused some indigestion.

Best wishes to your cousin's daughter. May she have a happy, healthy baby who is loved by her family & friends.

 

[Susan1]

Peyton is here and so is the end of this thread.

 

[Skittl1321]

I hope Mom and baby are both doing well.

 

[TheGirlCanSkate]

Congratulations! I hope mom and baby are strong and well and that you are able to visit them soon.

You mentioned you don't think the new grandma is tech savvy, but I found babycenter groups helpful. You join a birth club and it can be nice to talk to other moms or just reading their posts. If You can write an email, it's super easy to use.

 

[nyrak]

Peyton is here and so is the end of this thread.

Good news. I hope baby, mommy & grandma are all doing well. How lovely to have a new baby for Christmas.

 

[Badams]

Congratulations to the new mommy! Peyton is such a nice name! I hope mom and baby are doing well. Thank you for the update.

 

[quartz]

Great news! Welcome, Peyton! Did the labor and delivery go smoothly?

 

[maatTheViking]

congratulations to Peyton and the new mom and grandma! Hope everything went smoothly

 

[Habs]

Congratulations to the new mom and grandma! I hope all is well.

 

[Susan1]

Great news! Welcome, Peyton! Did the labor and delivery go smoothly?

I wasn't going to reply to these posts anymore, but since you asked. Fortunately, (PER HER MOTHER) she woke up at home with pains at 2:30 a.m., took a shower, did the dishes, woke her mother up at 4:30, they drove half an hour to the hospital, father of the baby got there at 6 a.m. She only had 2 hours of hard labor toward the end, and the baby was born at exactly noon. The only problem was significant tearing and they spent a while sewing her up. (Never having had a baby, I can't imagine, but I can, if you know what I mean). My cousin finally got to meet the other grandparents (both divorced with new spouses) who showed up at the hospital later. So far, everybody is doing fine.

 

[clairecloutier]

I'm glad to hear that everything went well! Congratulations.

 

[quartz]

Thanks Susan, good to know everything went well. I've gone through extensive "sewing up"; my doctor refused to tell me how many stitches he put in, but that part of a woman's body is designed to handle it, so she should be as good as new. (Sorry if that is tmi - )
Nice that the father was there for the birth, I hope he will continue to have an active role in Peyton's life.

 

[Susan1]

Nice that the father was there for the birth, I hope he will continue to have an active role in Peyton's life.

Well, now I get to vent again. And here are snippets from the second email (without editorializing). And, no, I did not ask any questions that prompted these comments -

She doesn't think she will be able to breast feed because it is too painful and inconvenient.

He makes $8/hr. now; pays $150/month rent to a guy that owns the house; cousin thinks her daughter should file for support now because he has not paid "10 cents for anything".

The whole pregnancy care and delivery cost $5,000 AFTER cousin's insurance and was to be paid off before the delivery. (me - sounds like a bulk or package deal or something )

The father and stepmother of the father of the baby wish that he would grow up and stop dreaming of becoming a music star. Funny - cousin wrote "like Columbus is the center of the music scene". (She was on a roll!!!!)

(Rats - I have one editorial comment that just popped into my head. What if he thinks when she gets her good job, she will finance his music career?)

He told the father, stepmother and my cousin that he can only put half a tank of gas in his car because the fumes leak into the car and make him dizzy. Oops - snarky editorial comment #2 - that explains a lot. ha ha ha)

Ho-ly Mol-ey!!!

 

[Habs]

She doesn't think she will be able to breast feed because it is too painful and inconvenient.

It is painful and inconvenient. It's also stressful, and doesn't always work for mom or baby. I had to quit breastfeeding Mini Habs when she was 8 weeks old because it was wreaking havoc with both of us, and especially my mental health. It didn't make me less of a parent. Quite the contrary, in fact. Bottles/formula feeding made us a much happier, healthier family.

I hope everything works out for them. Having a new baby is difficult at the best of times. I hope they are all healthy and able to be happy.

 

[quartz]

Sorry you had a hard time breast feeding, Habs. I had it easy. Lifted my shirt, and my babies knew what to do. I spent a total of three years nursing between my two kids.

 

[Habs]

Sorry you had a hard time breast feeding, Habs. I had it easy. Lifted my shirt, and my babies knew what to do. I spent a total of three years nursing between my two kids.

I was sorry too, at the time. I had some mom guilt over it at first, but quickly realized it was better for all of us to quit. As long as baby was healthy and getting what she needed, the "how" became less important to us.
We'll see how things go with Baby Habs on the way. Mr Habs came home from grocery shopping the other night with a box of formula, "just in case."

 

[maatTheViking]

nice. You can always give it a try - babies are different, and your body is. As long as everyone gets fed and are happy and relaxed it is what is best for the baby .

 

[quartz]

Well, it certainly doesn't hurt to try nursing again. I found it easy in that it was no mess, no fuss, no preparation, no extra expenses of formula and bottle. The downside was that is was very exhausting and I wasn't very good at pumping, so it was hard for anyone else to feed my babies and give me a bit of a break.
Habs, you must be at the point where you are tired of being pregnant and just want this baby out!

And never feel guilty about looking after your baby in a way that works best for you and the baby.

 

[Badams]

Fed babies are the happiest babies, no matter where they get the food from.

 

[GarrAargHrumph]

Peyton is here...

Welcome, baby!