Baby Question

Susan.....I am glad the ultra sound went well.

And, really.....................you need to step back! It is a train wreck waiting to happen on so many levels.....You can't stop it sounds like, so just get out of the way.

I don't mean to be cruel.....just realistic. I am hyper vigilant. I had an employer tell me once (nicely) that, obviously g-d had appointed me as the person to figure out all the things that could go wrong, before the sentence was out of her mouth. I am really good at it.... However, it is not a skill people are interested in. LOL! So, I totally get where you are coming from. It does sound like no one is following your advice or rules of common sense.

I am horrified that someone would leave a baby with someone who has a mobility problem. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. The best thing someone could do may be to call Child Protective Services. From all you have said, these two are not good decision makers, and a child is at stake.

It doesn't sound like you can protect Lynne and her daughter from themselves, but you can protect that new life.
 
AxelAnnie said:
Susan.....I am glad the ultra sound went well.

And, really.....................you need to step back! It is a train wreck waiting to happen on so many levels.....You can't stop it sounds like, so just get out of the way.

I don't mean to be cruel.....just realistic. I am hyper vigilant. I had an employer tell me once (nicely) that, obviously g-d had appointed me as the person to figure out all the things that could go wrong, before the sentence was out of her mouth. I am really good at it.... However, it is not a skill people are interested in. LOL! So, I totally get where you are coming from. It does sound like no one is following your advice or rules of common sense.

I am horrified that someone would leave a baby with someone who has a mobility problem. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. The best thing someone could do may be to call Child Protective Services. From all you have said, these two are not good decision makers, and a child is at stake.

It doesn't sound like you can protect Lynne and her daughter from themselves, but you can protect that new life.
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Nothing Susan has written about the mother or grandmother to be sounds like a train wreck at all. It sounds as if they are doing their best to make a plan that will allow the baby's mother to finish school and provide some income, which will ensure a better future for both mom and baby. What we have here is a lot of hyper-criticism and overreacting on Susan's part--I'm frankly not sure how you think someone who thinks that putting pepper on vegetables is indicative of having been the victim of bad parenting is making fair judgments about anything else.

And it does not at all sound like the grandmother to be's disability would make it impossible for her to care for an infant. As long as she is capable of picking up the baby, and Susan has not indicated that she will not be, she should be fine. If the mother is able to finish school and secure better employment (and that is not a "fantasy" regardless of how hard it sometimes can be in today's climate--hard and impossible are not synonyms), other childcare arrangements could be made by the time the child is a toddler and care becomes more challenging. CPS does not need to be involved because a pepper-phobic cousin of the grandmother is paranoid.
 
@AxelAnnie the thought that a person who is somewhat physically limited is completely unable to care for a baby is laughable and frankly, discriminatory. Lynn can have mobility issues and be perfectly capable to respond and care for a baby. From what Susan has posted, there is nothing that would concern CPS at all.
 
I must have misread.
I just picture my 56 year old disabled cousin raising a baby (and a dog) on her own. (And we all love dogs, so........) CS spends all day at school, then works till the store closes. She wanted to fix up their basement like it would be their own apartment, but Lynn can't even go down the steps anymore. She uses a cane quite a lot and a TENS unit. Now she has this shoulder problem. If she's going to be in charge of the baby 16 hours a day, everything will have to be on the main floor. She's already said she won't be able to be carrying the baby, the seat, the diaper bag, and whatever else paraphernalia in and out of the car to go places alone very often.
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It's certainly just as normal for babysitters to keep the baby at home during the day as not. Why does the grandmother even need to take the baby out without the daughter's help? Not to mention they seem like the type to have a backup plan, so I doubt any meddling in this area is needed from the perfect parents on the forum.

The idea that CPS needs to be called because a partially disabled person with some mobility issues cannot watch a baby during the day is ridiculous & just plain mean. Any person who would pick up a phone to call CPS based on the information provided thus far in this thread is beyond reason & does not seem to be giving much thought to how insulting such comments are to the disabled.

I hope the best for this girl & her baby. She sounds like she is trying to come up with some good workable solutions. It's sad this thread has taken such an ugly turn & it's only on page 2.
 
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PDilemma said:
As for debit cards, as many have explained to you, they are not the same as ATM cards and a transaction is not considered a withdrawal.
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Well, the card I have used for ATM withdrawals as long as I can remember (25? years) says "DEBIT" at the bottom right, above the brand of card it is. It has my picture on it. I subtract the amounts from my checking account. It shows up in the bank statement as an ATM withdrawal. My credit card, same bank/same brand, does not have my picture on it. I get a credit card statement for anything I charge. I have to keep them in separate places in my wallet because they are the same color!!!
 
Artistic Skaters said:
It's certainly normal for babysitters to keep the baby at home during the day. Why does the grandmother even need to take the baby out without the daughter's help? Not to mention they seem like the type to have a backup plan, so I doubt any meddling in this area is needed.

The idea that CPS needs to be called because a partially disabled person with some mobility issues cannot watch a baby during the day is ridiculous & just mean. Any person who would pick up a phone to call CPS based on the information provided thus far in this thread is beyond reason & not giving much thought to how insulting such comments are to the disabled.
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I think that first paragraph started after my post saying she will be stuck at home with a baby all day. Babysitters are able to go to the grocery store or to the gym (I suggested taking the baby out in the stroller when it's not too cold <eventually, not the first week; CS should be home some of the time till school starts back in January anyway> or there is snow and ice on the ground, to get the exercise her doctor wants her to have) or their own doctors/dentists/PT or whatever they wish to do when they aren't babysitting. Lynn has gone up to Columbus to stay with her own mother for 3-5 days at a time, sleeping on the couch in a one bedroom senior apartment, to be with her for her pulmonologist and other appointments. (My aunt thinks she'll never see Lynn again. ha ha Or till CS graduates. And no, my aunt won't be going to Cincinnati MUCH. She doesn't drive anymore and gets sick riding in the car going that fast on the highway that far. They are hoping to take the baby up between Christmas and New Year's, depending on the weather. And have the baptism in the spring.)

And, Good God!!!!, I never said Lynn was incapable of caring for her grandson. She'll do the best she can, because she has to. I just wish CS didn't expect it of her.
 
As someone who has had two babies while working two jobs, I know there is a lot of juggling and shuffling about to be done, but it certainly sounds like the mom-to-be and the grandma-to-be have done a good deal of thoughtful planning as to how to manage the new little family member.

Congrats Susan and family, as you all prepare for this baby. What a wonderful experience to look forward to! :cheer2:
 
How do you know CS just expects Lynn to watch the baby? You did say in a previous post that Lynn hoped CS & baby would stay with her for the next 5 years.
 
Susan1 said:
Well, the card I have used for ATM withdrawals as long as I can remember (25? years) says "DEBIT" at the bottom right, above the brand of card it is. It has my picture on it. I subtract the amounts from my checking account. It shows up in the bank statement as an ATM withdrawal. My credit card, same bank/same brand, does not have my picture on it. I get a credit card statement for anything I charge. I have to keep them in separate places in my wallet because they are the same color!!!
Click to expand...

A debit transaction is not the same as an ATM transaction. It is not an ATM withdrawal. Yes, the money comes out of your account (I'm not sure what else you would expect). But that does not make it an ATM transaction (which some banks have limitations on or fees for if you use an ATM that doesn't belong to them, you are correct). A debit transaction is, essentially, the equivalent of writing a check. Any fees associated with debit transactions are paid by the retailer, not your bank. That is why some retailers, particularly small businesses, have a minimum amount for a debit transaction.

Most people use debit cards now and use them frequently. It is not irresponsible, does not cost extra fees and is not something you should be criticizing. Most businesses no longer accept paper checks so debit or credit cards are the only alternative to cash. Most people do not carry a lot of cash anymore, which is not at all irresponsible, either. If your debit card is lost or stolen, the bank can freeze it. If your cash is stolen, it is gone.
 
PDilemma said:
A debit transaction is not the same as an ATM transaction. It is not an ATM withdrawal. Yes, the money comes out of your account (I'm not sure what else you would expect). But that does not make it an ATM transaction (which some banks have limitations on or fees for if you use an ATM that doesn't belong to them, you are correct). A debit transaction is, essentially, the equivalent of writing a check. Any fees associated with debit transactions are paid by the retailer, not your bank. That is why some retailers, particularly small businesses, have a minimum amount for a debit transaction.

Most people use debit cards now and use them frequently. It is not irresponsible, does not cost extra fees and is not something you should be criticizing. Most businesses no longer accept paper checks so debit or credit cards are the only alternative to cash. Most people do not carry a lot of cash anymore, which is not at all irresponsible, either. If your debit card is lost or stolen, the bank can freeze it. If your cash is stolen, it is gone.
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O.k. - so I am confused here. If I wanted to use my "debit" card to spend $2.50 at McDonald's, or $7 at Arby's, whatever, for lunch every day, wouldn't I have to go home and write that as a deduction in my checkbook every day, just like writing a check, so I would know how much money I had in the account? You'd have to make sure not to throw away the receipt with the trash. What would it show up as on the monthly bank statement? Seems easier to withdrawal $20 and use that for small purchases.

And, I guess I was thinking about all the warnings for ordering stuff online, to not use a debit card because that can't be traced if you get ripped off, whereas you can get your money back if you use a credit card?

We're way off the baby stuff, so.......... CS is still at 2 cm. (Not ever having a baby, even I know from t.v. that 10 cm is time for the baby to come out.)

And Lynn agreed with me that if CS went on WIC they would have a cushion if something happened, and she would not have to feel like she had to go back to work so soon and could spend more time with her new baby before school starts up again.
 
oleada said:
You use your debit card and then track your balance in your bank's app or your online account. It's not that complicated. I've never balances a checkbook in my life.
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This.

You are making it complicated, Susan. As I explained to you previously in answer to your complaint about CS not reading her bank statements, she is likely using a phone app, texting or online access to check her account. With my previous bank, I could literally check the balance via text message anytime and anywhere. I monitor my account online to check my direct deposits (as a sub teacher, I do not receive any pay stubs) and track my balance. My husband uses a phone system to do the same. Neither of us keep track of it in a checkbook as the info from the bank is at our fingertips. CS is probably using one of those methods; if not, she would have problems with overdrafts or her card would be denied and as you seem to know most of her business, you would have heard. I don't know when I last opened a paper statement as they are well behind what I can access online which is always current.

A debit transaction shows on most statements as transaction with the retailer's name followed by the amount.

I'm really not sure why this young woman's financial transactions or banking habits are your business to criticize, though.
 
We opted out of paper bank statements - I don't need to kill trees when electronic info is accessible and done in real time. We use the mobile app to deposit any written checks, we do not receive a paper statement and haven't for 3 or 4 or maybe more years. I carry cash for tips to my nail tech, hair stylist, occasionally vending machine and at this time of year for red buckets. I used ACH or debit/credit card for all purchases. I've written perhaps 4 checks in the past 18 months and those are special church donations.

Going back to several of your first critical posts about physicians, ultrasounds, low class only would encounter a unplanned pregnancy with a man who does not seem to you as appropriate father material, cousin who I gather from your critical posts is gay and concieved your cousin's daughter through artificial ineemination and her partner who died of a long term illness, your cousin being "forced" to care for a grandchild while her daughter manipulates the whole family? You are putting your own prejudiced views on the situation.

I suspect the text message from the doctor was more of a speech to text voice mail service than a physician office using a cell phone to contact her. I have a phone app that takes a voice mail putting it into text. That way, I have the ability to " hear" voice mails in any situation. Because of her schedule she may have authorized the doctor office to leave voice mails. I suspect you took a little information about over fetus size and extrapolated that there might/could/would be a genetic issue and how could they know because C was conceived via artificial insemination via *gasp* a gay man.

When a grandma is taking care of a grandchild it is not always a forced issue. I voluntarily take care of mine. It is a joy. It is time with them that I can't do at a later time because they're little only once. This grandma who has and will take twins and 5/6 year old (4 in total) out...never did with infants, especially under 9 months because there is a lot of crap to take. It is not like 28 years ago with my kids were little, there is about 5 times more equipment because of changes in child safety things.

Women can be 2 cms dilated for weeks. Not an issue..I was in labor for an entire 10 hour shift and did not drop a kid or embarrass/shock anyone. My leave with one of my kids was used prior to birth because I had been on bedrest for 5 weeks. I went back to work when he was 2 weeks because I needed to.

My advice, not that you will take, is to change your attitude to fit today's reality, and butt out of their lives. Send a baby gift if you want, send congra and show a happy face to them.
 
once_upon said:
When a grandma is taking care of a grandchild it is not always a forced issue. I voluntarily take care of mine. It is a joy. It is time with them that I can't do at a later time because they're little only once. This grandma who has and will take twins and 5/6 year old (4 in total) out...never did with infants, especially under 9 months because there is a lot of crap to take. It is not like 28 years ago with my kids were little, there is about 5 times more equipment because of changes in child safety things.
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Just stepping in to say I think it's wonderful that you take care of your grandchildren, @once_upon. :)
My mom takes care of Mini-Habs (my MIL also takes her one day a week) and it's wonderful for everyone. The grandmas both offered voluntarily before she was even born, so certainly wasn't forced in our case either. The grandmas love the time with her, she loves her time with the grandmas, and Mr. Habs and I love the arrangement - we don't have to worry about her during the day, and we're saving a lot of money.
 
Susan1 said:
O
And, I guess I was thinking about all the warnings for ordering stuff online, to not use a debit card because that can't be traced if you get ripped off, whereas you can get your money back if you use a credit card?
Click to expand...

Ok, I just have to comment here, even though this feels like beating a dead horse. Most debit cards ALSO function as a either VISA or MasterCard. They have the little logo. This means that to the merchant, they are (almost) identical. The difference is on your bank's end - does the money come out of you account now or go on your credit card debt. This also means that in most cases, you get the same protections as using a credit card. I can block my debit card, and I can dispute charges. When traveling abroad my debit card does in fact work like a credit card - the merchant doesn't even know it is a debit card and usually the transaction takes 14 days or so to show up. The fees for using the card abroad is outlined by my Credit Union (which are currently: none, just the exchange rate).

I am not sure where you got information about debit cards not being traceable? They carry the same amount of information as other cards. Any card transaction carry some potential risk, but the bank and CC companies usually assume that risk.

if a seller doesn't send you an item or it is faulty, I know some CC agreements helps you get your money back (out side of returns to the merchant), is that what you think of? That depends on the type of card and how it is specified. Some debit cards have this as well, not all CC offers the same protection. To get this sort of protection you don't actually need a card, PayPal offers an excellent buyers (and sellers) protection for online transactions.
 
antmanb said:
Witch!! Burn her!

I always sit at home with my abacus after a hard day of shopping.
Click to expand...

It's really just easier to ignore it entirely.

Seriously- I know how much money I make, how much I need to meet obligations. I just have a general idea of how much I can spend without it being a problem. I have a cushion in the account. I check it every 3-4 months to make sure things are growing instead of shrinking, but otherwise, I don't track stuff at all. I never have.

My Dad taught me to balance a checkbook, but I've never done it once in my life since then.

And I use a card for EVERYTHING. I never ever have cash. If a place won't take a card for a small purchase, I just skip the purchase.
 
once_upon said:
Women can be 2 cms dilated for weeks. Not an issue..I was in labor for an entire 10 hour shift and did not drop a kid or embarrass/shock anyone. My leave with one of my kids was used prior to birth because I had been on bedrest for 5 weeks. I went back to work when he was 2 weeks because I needed to.
Click to expand...

I admire you because I believe you could have handled it back in the 30's even. I don't know how my grandmother survived to have two more children after my dad was born. Dad was the 4th child. He was born in 1932. He weighed 13 lbs. and was a breech birth. There were no C-sections back then. The doctor had to reach in and find my dad's other foot. There was no choice back then, no options but to have natural birth.
 

This in reply to once_upon (I lost the original post here?) -

“We opted out of paper bank statements - I don't need to kill trees when electronic info is accessible and done in real time”
CS does not check her debit card PAPER statement. Her mother does it for her.

”Going back to several of your first critical posts about physicians, ultrasounds, low class only would encounter a unplanned pregnancy with a man who does not seem to you as appropriate father material”
I have only been sharing some of Lynn’s feelings from our lunch and her recent emails, and replying to/expanding on comments. That’s why I looked at his FB page. Lynn is the one who said he’s pretty much out of the picture, especially support-wise, and he would move in with them “over her dead body”. Low class has nothing to do with it. CS just had so much potential. She would have gotten a job and moved out asap. Lynn would have had her stay there forever, before she got pregnant.

“is gay and concieved your cousin's daughter through artificial insemination”
Yes, I think I was pretty clear about that.

“Because of her schedule she may have authorized the doctor office to leave voice mails.”
Yes, I already agreed to someone’s post about that, because she is never home to get a phone call. The issue was “calling” her on a Friday night to tell her there was something wrong and they would call her back on Monday to schedule another ultrasound. Edited to add - come to think of it, Lynn wrote that CS WAS home and she saw her READING the text from the OB, and Lynn wrote to me that that was the first time she had seen her cry since she was a baby - after being so relieved that the follow up ultrasound to the one that prompted the dwarfism speculation showed that they were wrong.

“I suspect you took a little information about over fetus size and extrapolated that there might/could/would be a genetic issue and how could they know because C was conceived via artificial insemination via *gasp* a gay man. “
Well, I suspect you are not reading very closely. The reason I started this thread was because Lynn wrote that the OB ordered the genetic test because they suspected the baby was going to be a dwarf because his arms and legs were shorter than normal, and there was no dwarfism (sorry, I don’t know how else to put that politically correctly – little people?) in the baby's mother or father’s family. Since Lynn was artificially inseminated (where did you get it was via a gay man?), they do not know if the dwarfism might have come from the donor’s side of CS’s genetic makeup.
My first post was wondering what the point was of doing the genetic testing a week before the baby is due. The baby is going to come out the way he comes out. Lynn is the one who keeps saying that they are doing all these tests for the money. Why do an ultrasound every two weeks if they are going to change their minds every time and scare the unwed pregnant lady? (There’s another one!! scheduled for Monday.)

”Women can be 2 cms dilated for weeks. Not an issue.”
Didn’t say it was an issue. Just reporting.

“My advice, not that you will take, is to change your attitude to fit today's reality, and butt out of their lives.”
And why is my attitude any of your business? I'll tell Lynn you said to stop reading her emails.

“Send a baby gift if you want, send congra and show a happy face to them.”
Already bought the Babies R Us gift card (that’s where she is registered) and the congratulations on your baby boy card last weekend without your advice. (There were twice as many “new baby girl” cards out there than boy ones! Why is that? No, you don’t need to send me the statistics or comment on my attitude about greeting cards.)

Thanks to everybody else for your suggestions and positive comments. I have shared some of those with Lynn.
 
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PDilemma said:
As for debit cards, as many have explained to you, they are not the same as ATM cards and a transaction is not considered a withdrawal.
Click to expand...

Former bank teller/head teller here. Debit cards absolutely ARE the same as an ATM card; in fact, they ARE an ATM card. My bank gives out ATM/Debit cards, and has since 2001 (and now are issuing the new chipped cards to replace the old-fashioned card). Mine says DEBIT on the front, and has a Mastercard logo, card number and expiration date on the front, and a security code on the back.

You can use it as an ATM card to make withdrawals from an ATM by swiping and entering your pin. Or you can swipe it at any store that accepts credit cards and either select "credit," in which case the amount of the purchase simply comes out of your checking or whatever bank account is linked to it, or you can select "Debit" if you want to get money back, in which case you have to punch in your pin. You also get assessed a bank fee if you take money out of your account at a store cash register, depending on which bank you are with.

I use mine using the "Credit" option and the money comes right out of my checking account and posts the next day. So much for that not being considered a "withdrawal." :rolleyes:

You can also use them to make online purchases the same as you would a credit card, but that IMO is incredibly STUPID because you are opening your bank account up for anyone who happens to hack your card number. And your bank is not going to flag your account on suspicion of hacking. Discover Card, OTOH, flagged my account back in January because my card DID get hacked, and two transactions were put on it that looked suspicious due to my previous activity. They reversed the charges and issued me new cards with a new account number.
 
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Karina1974 said:
Former bank teller/head teller here. Debit cards absolutely ARE the same as an ATM card; in fact, they ARE an ATM card. My bank gives out ATM/Debit cards, and has since 2001 (and now are issuing the new chipped cards to replace the old-fashioned card). Mine says DEBIT on the front, and has a Mastercard logo, card number and expiration date on the front, and a security code on the back.

You can use it as an ATM card to make withdrawals from an ATM by swiping and entering your pin. Or you can swipe it at any store that accepts credit cards and either select "credit," in which case the amount of the purchase simply comes out of your checking or whatever bank account is linked to it, or you can select "Debit" if you want to get money back, in which case you have to punch in your pin. You also get assessed a bank fee if you take money out of your account at a store cash register, depending on which bank you are with.

I use mine using the "Credit" option and the money comes right out of my checking account and posts the next day. So much for that not being considered a "withdrawal." :rolleyes:

You can also use them to make online purchases the same as you would a credit card, but that IMO is incredibly STUPID because you are opening your bank account up for anyone who happens to hack your card number.
Click to expand...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU - guess I'm not an idiot after all.
 
Karina1974 said:
Former bank teller/head teller here. Debit cards absolutely ARE the same as an ATM card; in fact, they ARE an ATM card. My bank gives out ATM/Debit cards, and has since 2001 (and now are issuing the new chipped cards to replace the old-fashioned card). Mine says DEBIT on the front, and has a Mastercard logo, card number and expiration date on the front, and a security code on the back.

You can use it as an ATM card to make withdrawals from an ATM by swiping and entering your pin. Or you can swipe it at any store that accepts credit cards and either select "credit," in which case the amount of the purchase simply comes out of your checking or whatever bank account is linked to it, or you can select "Debit" if you want to get money back, in which case you have to punch in your pin. You also get assessed a bank fee if you take money out of your account at a store cash register, depending on which bank you are with.

I use mine using the "Credit" option and the money comes right out of my checking account and posts the next day. So much for that not being considered a "withdrawal." :rolleyes:

You can also use them to make online purchases the same as you would a credit card, but that IMO is incredibly STUPID because you are opening your bank account up for anyone who happens to hack your card number. And your bank is not going to flag your account on suspicion of hacking. Discover Card, OTOH, flagged my account back in January because my card DID get hacked, and two transactions were put on it that looked suspicious due to my previous activity. They reversed the charges and issued me new cards with a new account number.
Click to expand...

What Tesla said. Susan1 thinks her poor cousin's daughter is an irresponsible reprobate or something for using a debit card as she is under the impression that there are usage fees associated with debit transactions such as there can be with ATM transactions. There are not because a debit transaction and an ATM transaction are not the same thing. I recently changed banks and while comparing options did not encounter a single bank that limits debit transactions or charges fees. Most of them, however, limit ATM transactions and charge fees for using ATMs that are not owned by the bank or affiliated with certain networks. That is the difference that many of us were trying to explain to Susan1.

And your bank and/or the one you worked at must be pretty bad because every bank I have used (and the one my husband uses and that totals 4 large regional banks) does, in fact, flag suspicious activity on a debit card and react accordingly. My card was frozen once two years ago due to "suspicious activity" (which happened to be a legitimate use on my part but it was unusual). My husband's was potentially hacked twice this year (a system wide issue for the bank) and he was issued a new card very quickly.
 
Karina1974 said:
Former bank teller/head teller here. Debit cards absolutely ARE the same as an ATM card; in fact, they ARE an ATM card. My bank gives out ATM/Debit cards, and has since 2001 (and now are issuing the new chipped cards to replace the old-fashioned card). Mine says DEBIT on the front, and has a Mastercard logo, card number and expiration date on the front, and a security code on the back.

You can use it as an ATM card to make withdrawals from an ATM by swiping and entering your pin. Or you can swipe it at any store that accepts credit cards and either select "credit," in which case the amount of the purchase simply comes out of your checking or whatever bank account is linked to it, or you can select "Debit" if you want to get money back, in which case you have to punch in your pin. You also get assessed a bank fee if you take money out of your account at a store cash register, depending on which bank you are with.

I use mine using the "Credit" option and the money comes right out of my checking account and posts the next day. So much for that not being considered a "withdrawal." :rolleyes:

You can also use them to make online purchases the same as you would a credit card, but that IMO is incredibly STUPID because you are opening your bank account up for anyone who happens to hack your card number. And your bank is not going to flag your account on suspicion of hacking. Discover Card, OTOH, flagged my account back in January because my card DID get hacked, and two transactions were put on it that looked suspicious due to my previous activity. They reversed the charges and issued me new cards with a new account number.
Click to expand...

Excuse me? What backwater Podunk bank do you use that doesn't flag your account for suspicious activity? My banks immediately notify me via text, email and telephone call if they see suspicious activity on my account. I have had my account hacked and the bank immediately reversed the charges and sent me a new debit card.
 
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