Tara Lipinski's podcast on infertility

Wyliefan

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This will be forthcoming soon, though she doesn't say exactly when. Here's her Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CwQicuUPZlL/

For those who can't see what she wrote:

Well-this will be quite the life update. I've been keeping a bit of a secret for the last 5 years and that’s definitely been a strange feeling for me. I've always felt so comfortable sharing my life with all of you-so to have gone on this journey privately for half a decade has been isolating to say the least. However I needed that isolation to find a way to cope and to adapt to my new normal. I was so overwhelmed and wasn't emotionally or mentally ready to bring more people on board. My life turned upside down and became completely consumed by our heartbreaking and often devastating fertility journey.

My husband and I have seemingly hit every roadblock imaginable from the moment we began this process in 2018 and since then I have been under anesthesia 24 times, have had 4 miscarriages, 4 D&C's, 6 failed IVF transfers, 8 retrievals and a diagnosis of endometriosis that led me to 2 major surgeries. It has been an excruciatingly painful journey that has been filled with loss & dealing with the grief that comes along with that. We are lucky to have the ability to make our own embryos but pregnancy is another story. But I’m finally ready to talk about it and my husband and I couldn't think of a better way to tell our story than through a podcast the two of us have created together. We have been working on this for quite some time. Our conversations have brought up a lot of past emotions but at the same it’s been healing to dive in and close some of these chapters together. Nothing will be off limits as I wanted to have the most candid conversations that we could- this is by far the most vulnerable I’ve ever been in my life. My hope is to truly bring more awareness to the world of IVF, pregnancy loss and couples struggling to build a family.

Most people have heard about IVF but not often the cruel existence this forces upon its patients when things don't go as planned. And many many people are on this very same tumultuous rollercoaster.

Infertility can be one of the loneliest clubs to be a part of and my hope is by telling my story maybe we can help other couples going through similar journeys not feel so alone. Im glad I have you guys along for the ride now.
 

Wyliefan

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BittyBug

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I'm sorry that Tara and her husband have been having such difficulties. My cousin also had fertility problems and pursued IVF and it was and absolutely torturous roller coaster. The hope at the start of a cycle followed by the crushing collapse of dreams when the implant didn't take, made even worse by the hormone treatments that are part of IVF. Rinse and repeat the disappointment. She would call me in tears, completely shattered and uncertain if she could continue. But she did and eventually got pregnant and now has an absolutely amazing son.

Tara's situation seems even worse in that along with her IVF challenges she was apparently able to conceive but then miscarried. I can only imagine her grief.

I hope that her podcast will be healing for both her and her husband, and that she will be able to expand her family in one way or another that is fulfilling to them both.
 

Jimena

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I wish people would talk about this more. It is a terribly isolating experience and it's so hard to connect with people while you're going through it. It really does sound like they went through hell.

I've always wanted to be a mentor of sorts to people going through the IVF roller coaster. I always make myself available. But it's really difficult to talk about. I hope the podcast helps others. It can be a horrible experience.
 

DreamSkates

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So sorry to hear this and all the pain of all kinds she and her husband have been through. The truth about IVF is it is not 100% guaranteed to work and actually no where near that percentage. My prayers go out to her and her husband as they share this news. Hopefully, everyone can be supportive and send their love and best wishes for their future.
 

puglover

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Two of our DIL's have had fertility challenges and it is a rarely talked about but very, very painful situation. In our oldest son's case, they were young, early twenties when they began trying, but she has endometriosis so they had a concrete reason for their problems. They tried one attempt of IVF and she conceived and had a healthy baby boy. As sometimes happens, the pregnancy gave her a break from the period problems and she conceived and had 2 more boys unaided. My second son's wife was older, late 30's when they started trying and things were less optimistic but she also conceived on the first try and had a healthy baby girl. They tried desperately to have a second child and carried one for 4 months but by then she was over 40 and her eggs were an issue. Our friend's daughter just had a second child using a donor egg. On top of all the pain (physical and emotional) this all is very costly.
 

once_upon

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The hormonal journey itself is devastating and so very difficult on one's body. Everything else on top of that is so devastating.

I hope this helps them and others.
 

PRlady

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My stepdaughter has been going through this for three years. In her country, the cost of IVF is covered but surrogacy is not, and since none of their healthy embryos implanted, that’s their next step. It’s truly a terrible experience.
 

screech

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I wish people would talk about this more. It is a terribly isolating experience and it's so hard to connect with people while you're going through it. It really does sound like they went through hell.
How heartbreaking for Tara and her husband!
Peta Murgatroyd from Dancing with the Stars has been very open on her social media regarding her struggles trying to conceive her second child, sharing about her miscarriages and IVF attempts. She gave birth to baby number 2 this summer.
 

Rainbow

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Major props to Tara. She ist brave. Because it's one thing to write about und be open about infertility, when eventually you were lucky enough to have a child of your own and present your story of success. Like the Kwans, Szewczenkos and Markles of this world do. They went through a dark and difficult period, but succeded in the end, because never give up and persevere and all that rubbish. Those are the narratives you can read about mostly. They are maybe helpful or inspirational for those still hoping, but can be almost insulting sometimes to the people who have to live in a different reality, at some point beeing forced to search for a different path for themselves.
 

mtnskater

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My heart really goes out to Tara and Todd. ♥️ I had no idea anything was wrong in her life these past five years. Very courageous of both of them to do a podcast together to talk about it. I will definitely listen. I hope it helps others who are experiencing the same heartbreak and difficulty.
 

barbk

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❤️ out to them. It is devastating. She’s very brave for going public like this.
When we were going through treatment, we unexpectedly met another couple we knew in the waiting room at the reproductive endicrinology clinic. It felt unexpectedly good to connect and realize that this was more common than we thought.

Personally, I found Resolve to be a good support.
 

Judy

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When we were going through treatment, we unexpectedly met another couple we knew in the waiting room at the reproductive endicrinology clinic. It felt unexpectedly good to connect and realize that this was more common than we thought.

Personally, I found Resolve to be a good support.
My friend’s sister and her partner .. not the same thing exactly but we’re using a sperm donor and IVF. her partner was chosen to carry between the two of them and then 9 months ago her sister was pregnant (they have a 3 week beautiful baby girl now). Her partner was having miscarriages. her partner is also pregnant and I think moving onto 3 months now. I’m crossing my fingers for success!
 

Judy

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When we were going through treatment, we unexpectedly met another couple we knew in the waiting room at the reproductive endicrinology clinic. It felt unexpectedly good to connect and realize that this was more common than we thought.

Personally, I found Resolve to be a good support.
It’s important though to meet up and realize you’re not the only person going through it definitely.
 

Wyliefan

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Tara has a new post up with video clip:

EPISODE 1 IS LIVE!

A little clip just talking about how I originally thought I didn’t want to start trying for kids til 40- thank goodness I didn’t wait - as our journey has turned out to be long enough. But it is annoying that women have a different fertility timeline..isn’t it?!?

And THANK YOU to each and everyone of you that will listen. This is such a personal and intimate journey for Todd and I and I can’t believe we are just laying it all out there. But we are! I truly hope it helps women and couples not feel so alone. I know I searched the internet to find any story I could relate to. So here is mine! ❤️

#infertility #ivf
#miscarriage

Some jackass in the comments had to spout off about how Michelle Kwan dealt with these things "more elegantly," whatever that means. Tara handled it very graciously.
 

manhn

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I listen to A LOT of podcasts due to my running, sometimes people upload the first few episodes of a new podcast within a short time and then release on a more regimented schedule. That way, people can try out a couple of episodes before making decision to keep listening or not.

Their podcast is sponsored by a company (Carrot Fertility?) so they may want episodes released within a certain timeframe.

Listened to the first episode. Pretty good. Spoke about their naivety and fortune to have insurance. As a skating fan, I perked up when Tara mentioned that she has been so used to her body doing what she wanted or needed her body to do until now. Given the discussion of her hip injuries (which I never really followed), are those overblown by people?
 
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twizzletoes76

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Enjoyed episode #1 very much--watched on youtube. Todd and Tara created a very relaxed atmosphere in their discussion that literally made me wish I could jump in and join them. There was much that Tara said that I agreed with: for example, she talked about how when she had sex education as a kid she was basically taught that pregnancy was something to fear--you were taught about sex ed like the way you were taught about things like drugs in DARE--the residing message being, just don't get pregnant! Yet, even after she got married she talked about how she and Todd would use every form of protection imaginable--likely (I'm extrapolating) because of that mindset so ingrained early on--that you must not get pregnant until you are absolutely sure you are ready. Yet, she and Todd then did a complete 180 after a friend confided with Tara about her own pregnancy troubles, which then prompted Tara to go straight forward with gusto into the fertility treatment world, bringing Todd right in with her--with very minimal discussion beforehand even about what her pregnancy plans were.

This part of their story especially cracked me up--because it sounded like something i would do if I was married--because they both admitted they had never even tried (not even once!) to have a kid the natural way before going the fertility treatment route--which just shows when Tara decides on a plan, it's a very all or nothing type of thing. Of course, both were completely naive about the process and didn't really think they'd have problems--and, really just went to see fertility doctors in the first place in order to have an insurance plan. But then it turned out--things did not go smoothly at all--and, thus the rough discussions start (to be continued in further episodes) about what they experienced.

But what I was left with from this first episode was that both Tara and Todd have a very good sense of an issue that's actually been on my mind for a while now, which is: that sex education for the general public sucks! There is sex education in public schools for kids that (at least in my day and Tara's) was primarily focused telling students about what changes to expect with puberty--and, about disease prevention, etc. But then nothing similar exists for the young adult as a part II--ob gyn's never discuss the A, B, C's of fertility with their patients unless a patient asks--and, Tara did not bring up this point, but this is something I've long felt, colleges rarely have comprehensive sex education programs that address things like fertility and sexuality throughout a lifespan.
But, Tara is very honest in the conversation (which I love!) and recognizes that for pretty much all of her adult life until the problems started happening that she and Todd were pretty clueless about fertility--but truth is: she is not alone on this at all.

So many of us were in fact the products of the same kind of schooling that Tara received and have grown up being the recipients of the same kinds of message she heard that said: "girls can be anything, you can have a career and a family and you can do those things whenever you want"--but this is a false message because it really does not work for everyone--and, in some geographic areas or socio-economic groups especially--having a kid in 20's or even early/mid-30's is something that pretty much no one does--leaving many women out of luck--who had bought into these false notions from young ages about what their bodies could potentially do.
 

Jimena

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I haven't listened to the episodes yet, but I will. I did want to comment on the lack of coversation regarding fertility in young adults. I know as a young woman if anyone had started talking to me about fertility, I would've put a stop to the conversation. I would've perceived it as someone trying to push their beliefs about what being a woman meant (i.e., you need to have kids) before I was ready to have the conversation. It's not something I would've been comfortable with at all. I would not have been receptive.

I honestly don't know if there could've been any way in which I would've been more open to the conversation.

So I actually think we need to start talking about this very early to destigmatize it. There is no motive behind the talk, no agenda. Just a biological reality. The fact is, after a certain age it's a lot harder for women to have kids. Period. I found that out the hard way, with a happy ending, thankfully. But it was hard.
 

alexikeguchi

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I have watched both episodes so far, and the topic doesn't speak to me directly since I was fortunate enough to marry and have the means to expand our family in my mid-late twenties. However, I know that scenario is less frequent today, and I have younger relatives with the same struggles as Tara and Todd. I think they are performing a great service, speaking so frankly and honestly. I know Tara was such a perfectionist with her skating, and it seems to have shaken her whole self-image to work so hard at something yet not succeed. It has to be especially difficult to admit a failure publicly, on such an emotional topic, and I really respect her. I am very impressed with both of them as people and as a couple; so many marriages fail under the strain, and they seem like they have a great bond and partnership. I am glad they at least have that even if it just isn't meant to be for them to become parents.
 

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