Just because you can...doesn't mean you should.

[AxelAnnie]

I was just reading about Catherine McPhee announcing the birth of her baby with husband David Foster who is 71. Really?
Daily Mail. A 64 year old woman in Spain gave birth to twins....by IVF. What doctor would artificially enseminate a 65 year old woman? And it was in the US? Who paid for that. The twins have been taken away from her
...at least someone had a brain.

 

[taf2002]

Judgy much? Who would take newborns away from the mother? You sound like you approve. As for Katherine McFee, is it your business how old her husband is? Just because you can snipe & criticize doesn't mean you should.

 

[tony]

Judgy much? Who would take newborns away from the mother? You sound like you approve. As for Katherine McFee, is it your business how old her husband is? Just because you can snipe & criticize doesn't mean you should.

Actually, you got it completely wrong, too. It’s Katharine McPhee.

But I agree with you and I’m not surprised said poster feels the need to decide what the rules are for everyone else.

 

[AxelAnnie]

Judgy much? Who would take newborns away from the mother? You sound like you approve. As for Katherine McFee, is it your business how old her husband is? Just because you can snipe & criticize doesn't mean you should.

All th time.

 

[skategal]

According to Spain, the decision to take the twins was not even based on her age.


"The decision was based on the 'evaluations of experts,' not the woman's age or mental health, the court said, without elaborating.

A report issued by the Provincial Court of Burgos at the time of their initial ruling, cited: ' the mother's personality traits significantly affected the affective and psychosocial development of the minors.'

It added that 'non-existent' family relationships, isolation and a lack of a supportive social network were also of concern."

 

[Lemonade20]

@AxelAnnie you're just a ray of sunshine aren't you?

 

[canbelto]

Huh? Why should Kat McPhee,'s babies be taken away from her if there's no evidence she's an unfit mother?

 

[kittyjake5]

Congrats to Katherine and hubby on their Baby news! I remember her from American Idol years ago.

 

[genevieve]

Huh? Why should Kat McPhee,'s babies be taken away from her if there's no evidence she's an unfit mother?

I think it was the 64 year old woman's twins that were taken away, not Katherine McPhee's.

 

[AxelAnnie]

@AxelAnnie you're just a ray of sunshine aren't you?

Mostly I am realistic. And generally looking out for the children.

Healthline Parenthood

“Just because she can get pregnant doesn’t mean she should,” Lin noted. “There is very documented experience that women in the very advanced maternal age (vAMA), have increased maternal risk of preterm delivery, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, preeclampsia, and preterm labor.”

Research has also linked the age of a child's father at birth to an increase in neurological and behavioral conditions such as autism and attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and even a greater chance of developing bipolar disorder or psychosis. But the news isn't all bad for older parents.Aug 1, 2019

Psychology today

The death of a parent is one of the most traumatic events that can occur in childhood. An estimated 3.5% of children under age 18 (approximately 2.5 million) in the United States have experienced the death of their parent1. So how does the death of a parent affect a child?

Re: McPhee and 71 year old father.

But what happens when a child loses one or both parents before reaching adulthood? Along with the inevitable problems dealing with grief and loss, can being deprived of a parent at an early age affect the kind of intimate relationships children form after becoming adults

Can all this work out great? Sure. Little test: We all know flying is safe.....except for sometimes. So, if you knew that all plane crashes happen on Tuesday and Thursdays, wouldn't you avoid those days, and book your flights on S, S, M, W, F? I bet no.

McPhee's baby is very likely to lose his father prior to adulthood. Does that happen all the time....sure. But why sign up for that?

 

[canbelto]

So whtat do you propose @AxelAnnie, swooping into their home and baby napping the kid?

 

[AxelAnnie]

So whtat do you propose @AxelAnnie, swooping into their home and baby napping the kid?

Of course not. What's done is done, and I wish them well.

 

[taf2002]

Of course not. What's done is done, and I wish them well.

yarite.

 

[Tesla]

Won't someone think of the children?!

 

[Lemonade20]

Won't someone think of the children?!

Especially all the sekret babies locked up in basements

 

[becca]

My Dad is in his mid sixties and he has a toddler. I absolutely thought he was nuts. I worry about him because his wife is an immigrant and while she is very educated would have to go to school for a career. I do worry that he is know having to work super super hard for a super long time when he could retire I know his wife says she will go back and he can retire in few years.

was his decision and he seems really happy. Life comes with sacrifices.


However I must say my baby sister is the sweetest little girl in the world and I could never wish her away. And her mom is older and I think really wanted a family and got one.

She is an incredible mom.

So all in all how can I not be happy for them?

I do think though folks should consider having kids Younger because yes my sister will lose her dad and when she is way young and it’s not fair and fair to many guys I know think they have unlimited time but in reality the older you get the harder it gets to have kids they take a lot of energy.

There is something to be said having them when your younger and enjoying grandchildren.

I think we do young people a disservice by telling them not to settle down in their twenties IMO

In Katherine’s case she has likely money of her own and a somewhat career. Foster can I am sure leave them well taken care of. And she is also older and may not have many other opportunities to have a biological child. It’s not like the child won’t have a lot of blessings

 

[Japanfan]

I do think though folks should consider having kids Younger because yes my sister will lose her dad and when she is way young and it’s not fair and fair to many guys I know think they have unlimited time but in reality the older you get the harder it gets to have kids they take a lot of energy.

There is something to be said having them when your younger and enjoying grandchildren.

A lot men don't think about that. They just want to boast that they had a child.

I have a friend who gave birth at 48. She'd had several abortions and prior and wasn't going to keep that one, then changed her mind, realizing it would be her last chance.

The child has been very difficult, but my friend has managed it to be the best of her ability.

48 seems too old to have a child, but I find that I do not want to judge my friend. She is doing everything she can to prepare for her child's future - e.g. bilingual French/English schooling, a trust fund. Many parents do much less.

I think we do young people a disservice by telling them not to settle down in their twenties IMO

Who is telling people that?

 

[becca]

A lot men don't think about that. They just want to boast that they had a child.

I have a friend who gave birth at 48. She'd had several abortions and prior and wasn't going to keep that one, then changed her mind, realizing it would be her last chance.

The child has been very difficult, but my friend has managed it to be the best of her ability.

48 seems too old to have a child, but I find that I do not want to judge my friend. She is doing everything she can to prepare for her child's future - e.g. bilingual French/English schooling, a trust fund. Many parents do much less.

Who is telling people that?

Many are many guys are like now I want to sow my oats I have forever can marry younger. Quite frankly I have found some of the younger guys are more ready for a relationship than the older ones. I would take seriously the guy who prioritizes having a family in his late twenties early thirties over the guy who is waiting till he is forty plus

 

[taf2002]

Many are many guys are like now I want to sow my oats I have forever can marry younger. Quite frankly I have found some of the younger guys are more ready for a relationship than the older ones. I would take seriously the guy who prioritizes having a family in his late twenties early thirties over the guy who is waiting till he is forty plus

The World According to Becca.

 

[ilovepaydays]

Many are many guys are like now I want to sow my oats I have forever can marry younger. Quite frankly I have found some of the younger guys are more ready for a relationship than the older ones. I would take seriously the guy who prioritizes having a family in his late twenties early thirties over the guy who is waiting till he is forty plus

I know A LOT of single men and women in their late 30s+ who would have loved to have been married and had kids in their 20s. But life - illness, job loss, and all kinds of things happened. Or a compatible partner hadn’t come around and they decided it wasn’t worth it for them and any children that they would have had.

Why is there this constant assumption that someone who is still never married past a certain age is like that because they “needed to sow their oats”, wasn’t “family focused enough”, or had “standards that were too high for them and they should have settled?” I know plenty of people who were turned down for relationships and have been without a significant other for years because they always wanted something serious and the prospects (well into their 30s/40s+) ended up only wanted flings or something else.

Many people don’t get dealt the cards that they wanted in life.

 

[Lemonade20]

I know A LOT of single men and women in their late 30s+ who would have loved to have been married and had kids in their 20s. But life - illness, job loss, and all kinds of things happened. Or a compatible partner hadn’t come around and they decided it wasn’t worth it for them and any children that they would have had.

Why is there this constant assumption that someone who is still never married past a certain age is like that because they “needed to sow their oats”, wasn’t “family focused enough”, or had “standards that were too high for them and they should have settled?” I know plenty of people who were turned down for relationships and have been without a significant other for years because they always wanted something serious and the prospects (well into their 30s/40s+) ended up only wanted flings or something else.

Many people don’t get dealt the cards that they wanted in life.

So true, it's not about your physical age, but whether you're ready at this stage in your life to get married. If it happens in your 20s, great. If it takes till your 30s or 40s or even 50s, awesome. You have to be emotionally ready before you can settle down, and especially when the time comes to start a family. It's easier the younger you are, but at the same time it's a double-edged sword because you may have the energy but not the money.

There are certain people who will never settle down though, choosing career and themselves over others. George Clooney was a serial dater and bachelor for a long time before he finally settled down (in his 50s?). The key is finding the right forever person for you with shared values and beliefs. A divorced man with children would have a much harder go with someone who's self-absorbed, half his age and never married/not a parent.

 

[Japanfan]

Why is there this constant assumption that someone who is still never married past a certain age is like that because they “needed to sow their oats”, wasn’t “family focused enough”, or had “standards that were too high for them and they should have settled?” I know plenty of people who were turned down for relationships and have been without a significant other for years because they always wanted something serious and the prospects (well into their 30s/40s+) ended up only wanted flings or something else.

Many people don’t get dealt the cards that they wanted in life.

What you say may be true.

However, I found it very difficult when I was dating my 30s. Men would say things to me like "oh, your biological clock is ticking' and make a hand movement that meant 'stay away'. Some of those men had ex-wives and kids already, and weren't interested in commitment. I remember one particularly bad date. He had invited me over to dinner, with his son (who lived with his ex). Due to some issue with the ex, the son never arrived. The guy was a total mess when I got there - through six beer already early in the evening, and high on pot. He offered me so wheatgrass juice for dinner. SFAIK things did not turn out well for him. Of course I did not make a date with him again.

This is not to say that there are not men in their 30s and 40s who want and are available for a relationship.

I ended up marrying someone five years younger - when I was 33 and he was 27.

Also, I remember a man telling me, when was almost 30, that "all the good men were taken".

 

[Prancer]

Who is telling people that?

IME, that is a pretty common message for young people. And given that the age of first marriage keeps going up, the message seems to be taking hold.

I don't know that it's actually age-related so much as economic--you spend your early 20s in college, your mid-20s building a career and growing up, then in maybe your late 20s or early 30s, you settle down, get married and have kids.

It is a cultural thing, as you find this attitude more in large urban areas than you do in rural communities, but I think this is a really common message for college students. It is also, I believe, the path that is most commonly followed by college graduates.

Of course, that timeline doesn't work out well for everyone, any more than getting married and having kids in your 20s works out for everyone.

I also think it's kind of weird that people are arguing with Axel Annie about the aged parent thing. Yes, the tone is an issue, but there are very good reasons that most people should not have children when they are middle aged or older. It seems to me that there have been threads about this in the past and that most people agreed that, say, Tony Randall shouldn't have been fathering children when he was in his 70s. No?

 

[kwanfan1818]

The TV critic for The New Yorker, Doreen St. Felix, has weighed in the interview:
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/on-television/the-rigorous-empathy-of-oprah-with-meghan-and-harry

 

[Prancer]

The TV critic for The New Yorker, Doreen St. Felix, has weighed in the interview:
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/on-television/the-rigorous-empathy-of-oprah-with-meghan-and-harry

I think you posted this in the wrong thread?

 

[kwanfan1818]

I think you posted this in the wrong thread?

I did, indeed. Too many open browsers.

 

[aliceanne]

It seems as if with each generation we get more out of sync with biology in technologically developed countries. It takes longer to be considered mature and to complete an education while children are reaching puberty at increasingly early ages. Even the concept of being a teenager is a 20th century idea. Before that you were expected to take on adult responsibility when you reached puberty around age 16.

 

[Lemonade20]

It seems as if with each generation we get more out of sync with biology in technologically developed countries. It takes longer to be considered mature and to complete an education while children are reaching puberty at increasingly early ages. Even the concept of being a teenager is a 20th century idea. Before that you were expected to take on adult responsibility when you reached puberty around age 16.

It's becoming more and more overwhelming for the younger generations to reach that stage of being emotionally ready. Adults and teenagers struggle alike because we have "information overload". We're being told too many different things from "get married right away so you can start a family" to "focus on your career and make money first".

We have more choices & freedom than ever before, and ironically less responsibilities. Chores like doing the laundry isn't as laborious as it was a hundred years ago. If someone decides to get married later, that's their choice.
Having kids is a decision that's personal and it shouldn't matter what your physical age is, but whether you're ready and capable of it.

 

[Japanfan]

It's becoming more and more overwhelming for the younger generations to reach that stage of being emotionally ready.

Don't forget that a large number of girls are still married off in parts of the world, being neither emotionally or sexually ready.