Ashley Wagner reveals she was assaulted by John Coughlin

[canbelto]

Spoke too soon. Ashley posted an Instagram message from al_rick_sos in her Instagram Story. Pretty disgusting message.

Thankfully Ashley seems made of strong stuff. But this kind of disgusting victim shaming can drive a less grounded person to tragic results. I am always shocked by how many of the tweets I read today slut shaming Ashley are from women. Gross.

 

[Willin]

I see your point when it comes to skaters competing on home ice. But how would you handle what happens when skaters travel for training camps and competitions? The incident Wagner describes happened at Champs Camp, not wherever she was living at the time. And while there apparently were adults (John Coughlin, for example) present, it would appear that Wagner's coach was not there.

Coaches may not be there, but most have an idea what's happening. At competitions for underage skaters there's generally parents watching the skaters and keeping track of them. For of age skaters, it's not uncommon for coaches or another adult to keep in touch with them to know where they are - mostly to ensure they're staying on track for the competition schedule, but it can also give coaches some idea of what the skaters are doing. Even if coaches are not present (which they usually aren't at parties), they'll probably have some indication that one is happening. In this case, at champs camp, they may have heard skaters inviting each other or making arrangements as far as who was bringing what or where they were all going.

But aside from coaches, as I stated in my post, of age athletes must also receive training on what's appropriate and what's not, because it's very easy to blur those lines of appropriateness when you see each other every day or are friends through a common sport. When I was 17 most of us would freak out and find it creepy if a 22-year-old, even one we knew well, came to one of our high school parties. On the other hand, at the rink it would be common for the college-aged skaters to have pot lucks or go out to eat with high school aged skaters because they trained/competed together for some length of time.
And in that way I think the skaters need safe sport training as well: in these small circles things that would normally be considered inappropriate or weird are somehow normalized, and the skaters need to learn these things aren't magically fine because of the context.

I completed my SafeSport training a week or so ago so I could teach at a new rink. The activities you mention are explicitly discussed in the training as inappropriate. I believe all coaches have to take this training. Coaches are expected to address/report such behavior, even if it is not illegal. The training also provides many reasons why misconduct is not reported, and says that those who report are usually not making it up. The training was eye-opening for me because we tend to only focus on the criminal aspects, such as sexual assault and coach/student physical relationships. But it goes much deeper than that.

Good it's been added. Last time I took it (a few years back) it only addressed illegal activity and blatantly bad behavior, and as far as I can remember it wasn't required.

Still, I think skating directors and clubs should be held responsible if they have coaches doing the much less blatant bad behavior and they are not addressing it by at least re-training the coach or meeting with the coach to discuss the issues involved.

 

[angi]

I have so much respect for Ashley for speaking out and sharing what she went through and I think she is courageous and doing such service to other victims.
That being said, the comments directed toward Kaitlyn and Alexa are at times over the top and out of line but I think the anger toward them is justified. Alexa and Chris publicly defended him at the time claiming that the accusations are lies and Kaitlyn and Andrew dedicated their performance to his memory when they knew what he was accused of doing. I understand he was their friend and I sympathize but they could have just stayed pubicly silent, they chose to make their responses public even when they knew about the accusations. So now when it's their friend that is speaking out they show sympathy, but where were they back in May when it was another teammate? When it was Bridget who came forward? That's the reason they get little sympathy from me for the anger coming their way, even if I strongly disagree with the way that anger is presented.

 

[okokok777]

USFS apparently didn't listen when there were previous complaints about Coughlin's behavior. I hope they're listening this time, but what happened to Ashley might not have happened if they'd taken some meaningful action a long time ago.

This is one of the points that breaks my heart. If the USFS or certain coaches had intervened earlier (I'm talking about as early as 2004-05), I honestly believe that so many survivors could have been spared. I also think that it's very telling that people who publicly mourned John failed to acknowledge Bridget's story yet are praising Ashley for coming forward with hers. It really plays into the "survivor hierarchy" and the idea that only famous/successful survivors matter.

 

[CaliSteve]

Thankfully Ashley seems made of strong stuff. But this kind of disgusting victim shaming can drive a less grounded person to tragic results. I am always shocked by how many of the tweets I read today slut shaming Ashley are from women. Gross.

Im shocked too.

 

[VGThuy]

Actually, many unlawful sexual contact laws have been in the books in many jurisdictions for decades. But that doesn't matter. Sexual harassment trainings (like in the workplace) predate any of the recent conversations about sexual assault, and unwanted sexual touching or hell even common law battery (which is any unwanted touching) have been around forever. Even if Coughlin was not aware that his behavior was wrong and even thought it was an acceptable way to interact with a girl/woman, the impact of it caused Wagner much pain and he put a stop to the opportunity of affording himself an opportunity to recognize his wrongdoing and from taking responsibility for it and provide restorative justice.

 

[gkelly]

Boys dont always "stop" and that is becoming more and more frequent.

I think what's becoming more and more frequent is that girls object -- at the time and by speaking up afterward.

In the past it was very frequent but girls didn't often enough feel they had the power or the right to stop it.

 

[VGThuy]

And the act of fondling her in her sleep was the assault. Nobody with good intentions does that. NOBODY. Full stop.

I won't even get into the idea of a guy who clearly has a history of preying on younger, inexperienced women in vulnerable positions, probably knowing they would be exactly the type that won't say anything if it did not go his way.

 

[JJH]

My son's university had mandatory sessions for entering Freshman on 3 topics: Alcohol, Racism and Rape and Sexual Assault. (Some posters in denial in this thread would also benefit from some orientation as to what constitutes sexual assault in the United States.)
I think that similar yearly presentations might be helpful for USFS skaters (Juniors and Seniors) and coaches. The younger skaters, especially, need some clear guide lines on behavior and what they have every right to protest.

Also, Ashley was assaulted in a private home. There was a house party with skaters. Somehow I don't believe that she was the only one under 21 who was drinking. Wherever they are, the people who provided the home and served the alcohol need to feel guilty about their irresponsible (and criminal) behavior.

 

[VGThuy]

I get you found an opportunity to go into your hypocritical leftist counter-culture spiel, so you feel like you have to take it, but there's actually been talk about how problematic that scene was. And even if there isn't enough to satiate you, it doesn't take away the fact that according to Wagner's account, what Coughlin did was assault, which was your original post (about how nothing she described would be assault at all...in general not whether our attitudes have become more aware about such things) before you started trying to bury your way out of that hole. And nobody argues that sexual assault fits neatly into a left-right American-style political binary as we all know assault against victims (who are mostly women throughout history as you yourself recognized) is a very universal theme happening everywhere and plays out in different ways.

 

[Vagabond]

Wherever they are, the people who provided the home and served the alcohol need to feel guilty about their irresponsible (and criminal) behavior.

Wagner's account made me wonder if John Coughlin himself was one of the hosts. Wasn't he living in Colorado Springs at the time?

 

[overedge]

My son's university had mandatory sessions for entering Freshman on 3 topics: Alcohol, Racism and Rape and Sexual Assault. (Some posters in denial in this thread would also benefit from some orientation as to what constitutes sexual assault in the United States.)
I think that similar yearly presentations might be helpful for USFS skaters (Juniors and Seniors) and coaches. The younger skaters, especially, need some clear guide lines on behavior and what they have every right to protest.

I agree, but this will only be truly effective if skaters feel safe in reporting assault, e.g. that their complaint will be dealt with in a meaningful way and that their careers won't suffer if they make a report. TBH I'm not sure that the problem is that skaters do or don't recognize what is inappropriate or illegal behaviour. The problem may be more that there doesn't seem to be an effective mechanism for dealing with that behaviour when it happens.

Also, Ashley was assaulted in a private home. There was a house party with skaters. Somehow I don't believe that she was the only one under 21 who was drinking. Wherever they are, the people who provided the home and served the alcohol need to feel guilty about their irresponsible (and criminal) behavior.

I agree with this too, although as has been pointed out earlier in this thread, assault is wrong regardless of whether the victim was intoxicated or not.

 

[puglover]

So in your youth you go to bed feeling safe among friends and wake up with some guy kissing your neck and intimately touching your body. You have never encouraged him and you are shocked and repulsed. You have a very successful career but years later you are still bothered by that experience. You don't want any other young women to endure anything like that. You go public with this very private and humiliating experience, knowing he has his defenders and you will be criticized, to help bring about safeguards in a sport you love. Truly commendable!!

 

[rfisher]

And the act of fondling her in her sleep was the assault. Nobody with good intentions does that. NOBODY. Full stop.

I won't even get into the idea of a guy who clearly has a history of preying on younger, inexperienced women in vulnerable positions, probably knowing they would be exactly the type that won't say anything if it did not go his way.

Exactly. It's a matter of consent. A sleeping person cannot give consent any more than the patient under anesthesia whose doctor has a little feel. Or the sonography tech who takes pictures of his patients as they undress in the dressing room (real story---he went to jail). The fact that he thought she was sleeping and did this is way more than an immature male wanting to "hook up." Or the woman who was slipped roofies in her drink.

 

[love skating]

I commend Ashley for her bravery in telling her story. I unfortunately read those ugly comments on the USA Today twitter. So so horrible. All you have to do is read those to know one of the many reasons why people don't come out publicly with their own stories.

 

[Golden1]

Reading some of these comments here makes me speechless. Where I live going to a party as a teenager, drinking a little bit, dancing and flirting is totally normal and doesn't make a girl automatically available for "hooking up". I mean what a sad teenage life would young people have if fun like that wasn't available anymore. Also in my experience, it wasn't and isn't normal for young guys to wait till the girls are asleep, then try one bed after the other, groping girls till they find one who doesn't object to having sex. I mean what the heck???? I haven't experienced or heard about something like that, ever. Maybe ask yourself why he waited until Ashley was in her bed seemingly asleep? Why did he continue groping her even though she didn't react? A "normal" guy would never want to hook up with a girl under these circumstances. I also don't believe that guys don't know that acting like that is a 100% wrong. I am a high school teacher and young people mostly don't watch old movies or read old books where things like that are shown as romantic and even if they do, they know for sure that behavior like that is no longer acceptable. Claiming anything else is totally ridiculous IMO.

 

[mollymgr]

It was disturbing when SafeSport pointed out how they found a culture of grooming and abuse within USFSA. I hope more people coming forward means there will be change in this organization and zero tolerance for abuse. I still can't believe the statement from USFSA back in Feb of this year. They acted clueless about the whole thing. The first step to solving an issue is to acknowledge that there is one.

U.S. Figure Skating requests that SafeSport complete John Coughlin sexual misconduct probe

U.S. Figure Skating has once again requested that SafeSport complete its investigation of reports of sexual misconduct against the late John Coughlin.

www.usatoday.com

 

[CaliSteve]

I think what's becoming more and more frequent is that girls object -- at the time and by speaking up afterward.

In the past it was very frequent but girls didn't often enough feel they had the power or the right to stop it.

Even when they do say something, this can happen:

Deputies issue arrest warrant for Central Florida figure skating coach

In the 13 years since she says she was sexual assaulted, Anika Hansford had told only a few people what happened to her. She certainly never planned on speaking publicly about the allegations.

www.wptv.com

 

[puglover]

I feel so saddened and sickened by a lot of the comments. Is there any change in attitude from some of those who were so quick to defend him?

 

[Tinami Amori]

And to me behavior like that is very outrageous and totally unacceptable and in my country he could possibly be charged with attempted rape or at least sexual harassment (however, I am not sure if these are the correct English translations).

Then i guess in the next generation of entertainment there will not be many characters like Samantha from "SITC", who welcomes and encourages and seeks such "assaults" in private and in public places....

 

[VGThuy]

Sex and the City? You keep dating yourself with your references.

 

[Prancer]

And once again, a thread about sexual assault becomes a thread about Tinami Amori's bizarre worldview.

If you don't let her define the topic, the thread can move on.

 

[ElleL]

And once again, a thread about sexual assault becomes a thread about Tinami Amori's bizarre worldview.

If you don't let her define the topic, the thread can move on.

Thank you Tinami Amori for motivating me to figure out how to ignore someone and then implement those steps.

 

[ElleL]

I feel like if the skaters themselves went through SafeSport training, we'd have the athletes/kids themselves on board with using the same verbiage, all part of the same culture of recognizing what is OK, what is not OK.

This has worked very well with anti-bullying campaigns in getting the problem out in the open and making the kids themselves part of the conversation and part of the solution. I feel that it's a missing link in the SafeSport conversation.

That is a great suggestion.

 

[mollymgr]

I took the SafeSport training as a volunteer. My daughter took it as a coach.

I know it's generally up to parents/coaches/adults to teach the kids themselves what their rights are, what/when to report -- and we're generally doing a better job empowering kids to speak up after the fact; maybe not quite as far along when it comes to prevention. And I know this is a tricky subject; we can't victim blame, but I think we can educate and empower kids with understanding what situations may be precarious and how to avoid/extract themselves when possible, how to help each other recognize and report, along with stressing that in situations where they are abused or feel uncomfortable or ashamed of what happened, they are never to blame.

I feel like if the skaters themselves went through SafeSport training, we'd have the athletes/kids themselves on board with using the same verbiage, all part of the same culture of recognizing what is OK, what is not OK.

This has worked very well with anti-bullying campaigns in getting the problem out in the open and making the kids themselves part of the conversation and part of the solution. I feel that it's a missing link in the SafeSport conversation.

It will not prevent every situation -- there will always be fearless predators who get around all precautions taken -- and it will not bring all reports to light sooner. But, I think we need to make sure the kids themselves have all the same information the adults have and grow up with the information as part of their sports/activities culture.

(Edits for grammar)

I think this is good. But there is another layer of complexity that needs to be addressed in a sport like figure skating. It is a judged sport and coming forward is even harder. Ashley brought the issues to light in this article. It is very difficult as an up and coming athlete to be the one to speak out about the abuse, to stir the pot. How can USFSA make this easier for everyone? For instance, we all know how the USFSA likes to promote the ladies that are successful in the sport, their image, taking it up to worshipping proportions. If Ashley had spoken about this when she was still coming up the ranks, how would it have affected her career trajectory? How does one eliminate the subjective nature of always being associated with a very negative incident? With figure skating being so tight knit, someone could always be friends with someone else who may be sympathetic to the abuser. We saw it in this case where someone was really liked by the entire figure skating community and could essentially do no wrong. It needs a drastic change of culture.

 

[skatfan]

And that is the problem. "Circumstances" are treated nonchalantly. Boys dont always "stop" and that is becoming more and more frequent.

This is why moving to affirmative consent is so important. Casual molesting is still molesting.

 

[Vagabond]

Are you crazy?

 

[jenniferlyon]

Greater supervision is required at all levels.

Skaters go away, attend competitions, ‘do their job’ and are then largely unsupervised. Coaches and officials are out socialising, skaters with a wide range of ages, in hotels, after events, party atmosphere and no supervision. It’s bound to lead to some situations that can be avoided.

A predator will look for-- and find-- other opportunities to victimize vulnerable young people. However, I do agree that these kids need better supervision. There don't seem to be enough boundaries in place to separate the underage kids from the adults, which Ashley mentioned in her interview. It made me think of certain teen skating stars of the 1990s who were drinking and partying with skaters in their twenties and thirties. It's hard enough for kids that age to deal with peer pressure, but what happens when the "peers" are adults?

 

[jenniferlyon]

I am glad Ashley had the courage to speak out. And shame on Sappenfield for referring to Namiotka as mentally ill in on of the other articles.

"She's crazy, don't believe her" is one of the oldest methods of silencing victims, or making sure that the ones who do talk are not believed.

 

[misskarne]

Wow. This was one hell of a thread to wake up to this morning.

Poor Ashley. I hope she's getting the support she needs. It really makes me wonder how many others there are, whether seeing Ashley speak up will help others feel supported to speak up as well. I hope so. I have a feeling this is not the end of this.

It is interesting that the usual disgusting behavior of @AxelAnnie called Ashley a coward. There is a coward here, but it's not Ashley. It's the man who, upon realising that all of his behaviour was about to come to light, chose to flee in the most traumatic way possible to avoid facing the consequences of his actions.

And I sincerely hope that Sappenfield has been removed from her coaching post at the World Arena and will be subject to an investigation as well. The thought of those red hats makes my stomach churn - and I bet the team whose logo was on those hats isn't best pleased, either.