Ashley Wagner reveals she was assaulted by John Coughlin

[vesperholly]

Drunk teenagers at a house party. That is the problem right there. USFS needs to discourage the party environment at camps and competitions and do way more to educate all of its skaters on what acceptable behavior is. A formidable challenge with groups of young people who want to let loose after intensely stressful situations. There's a reason that the Olympics provides free condoms.

I believe that it happened. I also think it could have been misinterpreted signals.

 

[Vagabond]

It’s crazy how so many lept to defend him. He was a mediocre skater and when he retired he was either a mediocre coach or he coached mediocre skaters.

I suspect that the reasons why people leapt to defend him had little to do with his skating or coaching ability or the abilities of his students. It most likely stemmed from perceptions of his being a nice guy, which is something Wagner mentions in her account, to which there is a link in Post #5.

 

[feraina]

No, but the mention of the commentating job makes me think that they knew about Ashley, possibly from the people cashew confided in.

I think Coughlin’s family also asserted it was a third party.

It could be just a coincidence - many former skaters are commentating or interested in commentating. Coughlin’s family doesn’t have to have nefarious intentions to do what they did. After all, to out someone like Ashley when she wasn’t one of the original accusers and she wasn’t ready to go public at the time, would not have helped Coughlin’s case.

And I’m really sorry for what happened to Ashley. It also makes me reflect on exactly why I never reported anything when I was similarly violated. I think there might be another element, which is when someone appears ‘nice’ you think this is so out of character, that this must have been a one-off. We also have a tendency of not wanting to believe we can so misjudge someone’s character. It’s cognitive dissonance. So until you hear other similar stories about the same person you might think, oh I don’t want to ruin this person’s life if it’s just this one-off mistake or misunderstanding.

I remember that’s what I thought about the guy in my case. I actually never considered until today that he might do this habitually to other women. And he’s in a profession where he has regular opportunities to assault unsuspecting women. Argh.

 

[believed]

I believe that it happened. I also think it could have been misinterpreted signals.

She was asleep...

 

[vesperholly]

She was asleep...

For the entire party?

 

[BlueRidge]

I'm out of this thread now. Wow.

 

[UGG]

Drunk teenagers at a house party. That is the problem right there. USFS needs to discourage the party environment at camps and competitions and do way more to educate all of its skaters on what acceptable behavior is. A formidable challenge with groups of young people who want to let loose after intensely stressful situations. There's a reason that the Olympics provides free condoms.

I believe that it happened. I also think it could have been misinterpreted signals.

Hu? She went into an empty bed and went to sleep. Was she supposed to be dead to have him leave her alone?

 

[AnnM]

And there's the first "blame the victim" post. Are you proud of yourself?

 

[vesperholly]

And there's the first "blame the victim" post. Are you proud of yourself?

I didn't say it was her fault. John is absolutely to blame.

 

[Bigbird]

Hu? She went into an empty bed and went to sleep. Was she supposed to be dead to have him leave her alone?

One of the many reasons I suspect she chose to say nothing. We seem to always, always blame the victim when it comes to sexual misconduct. Lesson to the young ladies, when possible, stay clear of any situation that could even be remotely dangerous, you will not be protected. Better yet make sure you have the key and lock that door!!

 

[personwhoishere]

She could've given him a lapdance at the party and she still wouldn't have deserved to be touched while she was sleeping and could not consent, never mind the fact that SHE WAS STILL A MINOR AT 17. Geez.

(For the record she states in the article she gave him zero indication that she was interested, but my point still stands regardless).

 

[Orm Irian]

Drunk teenagers at a house party. That is the problem right there.

No, the problem is that one of the people at that party was a sexual assault perpetrator. How many people were at that party, after all? A dozen, a couple of dozen, half a hundred? I don't know. But how many of them climbed into Ashley Wagner's bed and assaulted her while they and/or she were a bit tipsy? Only one. None of the others did, because none of the others were sexual assault perpetrators.

Rape and sexual assault are not the logical consequences of being drunk in a public place (or a private one for that matter). They happen because a person chooses to commit assault or rape. Simple as that. Blaming the location, the circumstances, the alcohol, the clothing, anything else, is just magical thinking: If people just obey the rules then the bad scary thing won't happen to them, and if they don't then it's their own fault, because they knew the rules. It's very comforting to believe that following the rules will keep you safe, but I'm afraid it just doesn't work. Because the people who commit assault and rape? They don't care about following those rules.

She was among trusted friends and she should have been safe. And she was, until the moment he climbed into her bed and started assaulting her. He is to blame, not her. Not alcohol. Not a party environment. Just him.

 

[AnnM]

I believe and support Ashley. It couldn't have been easy to come forward at this point in time, after having seen how so many people leapt to blindly support Coughlin and how they tried to discredit any and all of his victims. I admire her strength and hope that USFSA will finally get serious about addressing this situation and about preventing future similar instances.

 

[ZilphaK]

the age gaps, where imo the older skaters are not mature or responsible like actual adults and therefore create situations like this,

This is an important point that I think all rinks need to take seriously, not just those associated with USFSA. In youth sports, and maybe especially "early peaking" sports like figure skating and gymnastics where athletes are grouped by ability, not just age, and where practice sessions are mixed-age, there is a lot of mixing of age groups and a sort of false peer-hood among skaters of wildly differing ages and maturity levels.

And in cases where older teen/young adult skaters may also be coaches, there is a lot of grey area when it comes to peer-mentor-authority that lends itself to both mixed messages and openings for grooming behaviors and potential abuse.

I think this is an area where ISI, USFSA, USA Hockey and rink associations need to get on the same page with a clear, unified message to skaters, coaches and parents.

I know I've had this conversation with my daughter as she moves into coaching; that it would be prudent and proper to make sure all her interactions with younger skaters are kept professional and with her in the role of adult, as much as she might like to be "buddy buddy" with some of the students/younger friends while she's practicing on freestyle or hanging out in the lobby, etc. This is for the safety of younger children, especially those who might thrive on being favorites of a coach -- parents need to be able to recognize right away when a coach/older skater - younger skater relationship is not "right"; normalizing those grey area relationships at the rink does not help anyone and I'm not sure enough coaches are educated in maintaining appropriate boundaries.

Again, definitely not saying that coaches who are buddy-buddy with kids or who play favorites are necessarily grooming, but when there is a defined and repeated ethical expectation that all coach/student relationships are more clearly professional-only, I think it can help keep kids safe and could more clearly reveal unsafe relationships.

 

[supergirl573]

She was asleep...

His defenders are like five minutes from saying it was an innocent mistake and that he climbed into the wrong bed.

 

[BittyBug]

She was among trusted friends and she should have been safe. And she was, until the moment he climbed into her bed and started assaulting her. He is to blame, not her. Not alcohol. Not a party environment. Just him.

Quoting for truth.

 

[AnnM]

Drunk teenagers at a house party. That is the problem right there.

I believe that it happened. I also think it could have been misinterpreted signals.

I didn't say it was her fault. John is absolutely to blame.

See the bolded text from your post. That right there is you blaming the victim. Hth!

 

[AxelAnnie]

So..Ashley gets it off her chest when John cannot refute her story. I do not call that brave. By not reporting it....she left John free to go do it to someone else. I find that cowardly and self serving.. Kind of like the big named stars who leftvWeinstein free to prey on others.

 

[barbk]

Drunk teenagers at a house party. That is the problem right there. USFS needs to discourage the party environment at camps and competitions and do way more to educate all of its skaters on what acceptable behavior is. A formidable challenge with groups of young people who want to let loose after intensely stressful situations. There's a reason that the Olympics provides free condoms.

I believe that it happened. I also think it could have been misinterpreted signals.

Wow. Misinterpreted signals? What kind of signal says, "Come assault me while I sleep?"

 

[taf2002]

My oldest sister had an experience similar to Ashley's in college. It would have been date rape. The guy backed off when she started to cry but that didn't keep her from being scarred by it. She was talking about it the other day & you could tell she was reliving it. She's almost 77 & it happened almost 60 yrs ago.

 

[Tavi]

When Coughlin’s camp said that the accusations were from some one playing dirty to win a job, I thought they were deflecting. In hindsight, they were trying to out Ashley because she was commentating.

If you read the story, Ashley was not one of the original accusers.

 

[Habs]

Ashley is so brave for speaking up. Good for her.
I believe her, and I hope she has an excellent support system.

 

[Colonel Green]

So..Ashley gets it off her chest when John cannot refute her story.

Coughlin can't refute her story because he's dead by his own hand after some of his victims filed complaints against him. He chose that course; he isn't allowed to silence others by that action as well.

 

[Sasha is DIVINE]

Some people are pathological when it comes to victim-blaming. Just wow.

 

[antmanb]

I believe that it happened. I also think it could have been misinterpreted signals.

What signals do you think someone gives that says come and find me in the middle of the night when i'm asleep and take advantage of me?

Even in consensual sex games that kind of stuff is worked out expressly in advance not just done on a whim.

 

[aemeraldrainc]

When accusations first came out publicly, the USA Today article came out and everyone was speculating, I wanted to keep an open mind and make sure I looked at the story from every angle before reaching my own conclusion. But there’s a saying in Spanish, “Cuando el río suena, piedras trae.”
Translating literally it means: when the river makes noise it’s because it carries stones.
Which basically means if you keep hearing the same accusations over and over, it must be because there is some truth to it. With Coughlin suspended, the Safe Sport investigation going on, Namiotka speaking out ...there’s just so much evidence already. Ashley Wagner just put the nail in the coffin, so to speak. I know there’s still gonna be people defending him, but really??
I hope those that did apologize and feel shame for how they reacted and the things they said, but who knows?

 

[once_upon]

So..Ashley gets it off her chest when John cannot refute her story. I do not call that brave. By not reporting it....she left John free to go do it to someone else. I find that cowardly and self serving.. Kind of like the big named stars who leftvWeinstein free to prey on others.

She did report to two people. One of which confirmed it, anonymously to the reporter of the story.

 

[Habs]

Ashley's post on her Instagram:

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The responses so far are all supportive, as they should be. Kaitlyn Weaver is the first skater that I saw in the replies.

People are ripping Kaitlyn Weaver on Ashley's Instagram post. Sigh.

 

[okokok777]

If he was crawling around in Ashley’s bed, I’m sure this wasn’t a one time thing for him. So disgusting. What a coward.

Unfortunately, you're right. Ashley's story is eerily similar to the experiences of other survivors of John Coughlin (sadly, he "allegedly" didn't always listen when the girls woke up/told him to stop).

I'm so grateful for Ashley's courage and bravery. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for her to come forward. At the same time, it's disheartening to see how people reacted to her account vs. Bridget's. I really hope that we see some real changes and genuine apologies coming from the skating community.

 

[TalentedButHumble]

I had a fright when I saw Ashley's name twitter trending - my mind leapt to car accidents, etc.

At Skate Detroit last week, I was thinking again of all those teams wearing (being forced to wear?) those tributes to him at Nationals.

Ashely has been an outlier in figure skating for speaking out on basic issues which people much older than her didn't have the guts to address, from gender expectations ("shut up and be the pretty princess) to LGBTQ rights to questionable judging.

Twenty-plus years after someone else brought abusiveness by a major coach to light, how much improvement do you think there's been in keeping skaters' safety and security foremost? Not only abuse in all its forms, but on-ice accidents. In a sport of children who are often away from their parents, being taught by private coaches who are not supervised by a school system, league, etc., it should always be priority one.

Perhaps the ISU and USFS should have been hit with a lot of lawsuits a long time ago. Or their Olympic accreditation stripped? (Although the idea of the IOC holding moral superiority over its federations is also eye-rolling.)