Alexei Yagudin - radio interview "Sports and Hobbies - Children vs. Parents".

Tinami Amori

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Alexei Yagudin - radio interview "Sports and Hobbies - Children vs. Parents".
(translation can't be word for word, informal language, talking over each other, idioms, incomplete sentences, etc..)

Video. Yagudin's interview starts @ 1:02:20

Introduction: Alexei Yagudin, all his titles and current position as a TV host.

Q: Here you are, just walked in and already charging your I-pad.
AY: Good evening all, speaking of I-pad, I am going to need it, since right after this interview we’re taking a long road, heading to St. Petersburg, where Ilya Averbuch’s ice musical is to start. So from June 15 to June 22, we’re expecting you, audience, to join us. It will be not just entertainment but a very refined artistic experience.
(small talk about weather, how hot it is now in St. Pete and Moscow).

Q: Let’s remind the audience that the subject of tonight’s show is “children and choice of hobbies, sports and activities”. Are such decisions a child’s choice and desire, or is it the parents who are thinking of their ambitions or how they see a child’s future.

Alexei, besides all your athletic accomplishments, you’re also a father of two charming girls.

AY: Yes, a two-time father. And ready to become a three-time. Well, not immediately, as in nine months later, but Tatiana and I are discussing such plans. Since we both are still skating in shows… Tatiana is not alone, she is in pairs..

Q: But you do want more children?
AY: Tatiana is such a person, that she will not do something that will leave her partner without work. Since she is in pairs, and if she takes a maternity leave, obviously her partner, also an Olympic Champion, Maxim Marinin, will not be able to work. So when we make any personal plans, we also have to consider what Maxim’s plans and schedules are…

Q: Oh really, so that’s how it is…
AY: Yes, our families are interconnected, we both must consider it. Without Maxim Marinin Tatiana’s success would not be possible, so we all must coordinate between our families, to make sure that Maxim misses work oportunities as little as possible.

Q: And now let us move on to children and parental involvement. You have two girls, and they probably, as it is usually presumed, are figure skating.
AY: Yes, yes, I heard what you said before…

Q: You must have heard our interview with Irina Slutskaya, who gave us an interview an hour ago, and said “yes, of course, my children are figure skating”..
AY: No, I must have missed that…

Q: Yes, she said that she put her kids on the ice since they turned 4. So, let me just ask, are your girls figure skating?
AY: No.

Q: Why?
AY: Probably for the same reason, for example, why one of your son’s is not a foot-ball player..

Q: as in “the heart is not in it”?
AY: Yes, the hear is not in it. While they can sit there evening after evening watching their parents skate, I never heard they express any desire. Although, the youngest one Michele is only 3.5 years old, and perhaps next year, when the school year starts, she will join the ballet and rhythmic gymnastics groups. Because we see the trends, it is her leaning.

She wants to dance all the time. She uses gadgets to turn on different music all the time, to dance to. Her recent kick is dancing to the Russian National Anthem. She comes up to the voice-activated player and says “play the Sacred Land music”. Then she plays the Swan Lake, the Nutcracker, all sorts of compositions…

Q: So in other words she already wants to pick her own music, and you see her desire to dance, and the need for dancing lessons..
AY: Yes, it is in her.. the dancing, the acting..

Q: But then why gymnastics and not figure skating, there is ice dancing.. very interesting..
AY: I can explain….

Q: Yes, really, you’re in it already, you can help and advise, if not with competition, then with ice shows, they use children..
AY: the reality is, one becomes an ice dancer after one fails to be a successful singles skater.

Q: oh my! What did you just say…
AY: (to the interviewer) You know well enough, as a participant of Ice Age, where we told you all about the skating situation. One first starts as a single skater, if one fails then it is usually pairs, and if not good in pairs, then it is ice dance… and if you fail in dance, then you become a coach, and if you fail as a coach then you become a … (judge or a functionary)…

Q: watch it.. (laughs) your next Ice Age show has ice dancing…
AY: and they all started as singles skaters…. It is a very rare occasion when one skips singles venue and goes straight into ice dancing. So let’s say we’re done talking about my youngest one, Michele, and move on to the older daughter. The older one never every showed any inclination or love for figure skate. She played a bit of tennis, she did some swimming when she studied in France, and every summer she did rhythmic gymnastics. But… I did hear the earlier discussions you held at your studio (about parents and children’s activities)…

Q: What opinions you agreed or did not agree with?
AY: It is a difficult issue, no single answer. Of course there are some fanatical parents, who believe that if they are in a certain profession, then the child must follow the same steps. But then we never know what will happen with our kids and their future.. For example, I would not be where I am in life, if my mother did not decided to take me into sports, and by a simple accident chose figure skating, and yes, often forced me to skate…

Q: and you did not want to? Honestly, you did not really want to?
AY: to tell the truth, not particularly, there was no special love for skating. It was interesting somewhat, but the driving force was the ear load of “xxxxxxxxx”, which can not be said on air, that was given to me by parents at home for slaking off. Of course I would rather play ball…

Q: So there was pressure from parents?
AY: Let’s just talk about my and Tatiana’s parenting issues. First let us separate – sport as a recreational activity or a health benefit, and sport of high achievements and results. A sport for sake of health and recreation will always be made a part of our daughters’ life. I and Tatiana will never allow our daughters to just go to school and that’s all. There will always be recreational athletic activities..

Q: … for health, for good figure, for looks, they are girls after all.. When your mother brought you into figure skating, certainly she did not expect you to become a champion right then..
AY: … and I did not become a champion right then… One can never tell. While I am hard-core atheist, there is an old folk saying “if you want to make God laugh, tell him you have definite plans”.

A parent can never predict how a child’s activity will develop. But, my strong stand in life is – do not leave your child to his own devices, do not allow your child any unoccupied time, free of some activity or engagement.

Q: So in other words, you and Tatiana believe that your children’s time must be occupied 24/7.
AY: Yes, I believe that it is better to, what is called, “deprive one of a childhood” (kill the childhood) then to “deprive one of a successful future in adult hood” (to kill the future success).

Q: that’s a strong statement, we all need to digest. Let’s take a commercial break and then you will tell us further..
During the commercial break they continue to have a conversation, which is not heard on the radio segment, but the sound is on in the youtube feed.

Q: So what’s on your i-pad?
AY: Tatiana is waiting for me downstairs in the car, since we’re driving to St. Pete right after. She is not skating in that show, but keeping me company.

Q: Has she recovered from her leg injury?
AY: She just had yet another surgery in Germany. And then there is one more, on that knee, and hopefully it will be the last one needed.

Tatiana plans to do a show later this summer, but not this time. She’ll probably go see a ballet while I skate. I have a friend at the Kirov Ballet theatre, and Tatiana asked me to see if I can get her a ticket for a performance.

Q: How long will you stay in St. Pete?
AY: 7 days.

Q: And then? going to Sochi location for this show?
AY: We are not doing Sochi portion. We had a major break up in our cast (the group disintigrated).

Q: Are you serious?
AY: Yes, we had a global break up, our cast fell apart.

Q: No joke?
AY: Every member had some kind of a gripe/issue with some other member; each one has that one unpleasant character they can’t get alone with. For example, Tatiana (wife) can not stand to deal with Domnina and Kostomarov. I see the situation as … (at this point producer blocks the story with music).

Q: We’re back on air. Today our discussion is about child’s hobby and activities. Should the child chose, or is it up to the parents. Do the parents plan for the future with expectations when they select a hobby for their child. We also have an on-line vote taking place from the listeners. The question posed “Hobbies. Who should chose, child or parents”. It’s an important issue we’re trying to figure out.

Again, with us today, is Alexei Yagudin. Alexei, before the break, you made an affirmative statement, that you and Tanya unshakeable decided that you will “kill your children’s childhood, but they will not spend one minute without an activity”. Please explain, why?

AY: I am not taking my words back, yes that’s how it will be. But it does not exactly mean that “they will not have a child-hood”.

Q: … they will have a “child-hood” but it will be well planned/supervised?
AY: Tatiana and I are designing our own type of fairy-tale life for our daughters. We believe that children must have as little as possible unoccupied time. What we do put emphasis on, first of all, is education. We help them with mathematics, English, Spanish. The main accent is on education, that’s the priority. An person with smarts and education will always be in demand, any time, any place. Then there is a matter of free time, free from education. For example my oldest daughter Lisa, spent 2 and half years in French school.

Q: What is “free time” to you?
AY: It is the time not occupied by school and school work.

Q: and then “other education” begins?
AY: Look, what I am basically saying, that it is best to make a push while they are young, to shape and form the direction… Like the question posed to the audience “Who should chose, a child or parents”. Well, Tatiana and I both unquestionably believe, and actually were talking about this in the car on the way here, that at the age of 4 or 5 a child is not capable of making a right decision.

We, parents, never know where the road will lead them when we take them to sports, arts, music or science classes.. But it is best to push while they are young, so that certain things are formed, to have your child try himself in as many activities/directions as possible. Because when they are young, they absorb better. It is that time in their life when they can learn as much as possible and grab all the knowledge they can. It’s not good to lose this time when you can learn so many different things… athletic or educational…

Q: So you pretty much saying that you need to give your child “basics”..
AY: Yes, the basics, and push them into it, push, push, push. Because later, when they get older, your tough influence over them is reduced… and when I say “tough” I don’t mean “brutal”..

Q: But some psychologists say that “push, push, push” in an authoritarian fashion, is not a good method for the child.. that a child must be free to roam, stretch for the sun, play with grass, blah, blah, blah… generally speaking. Are you not afraid to overload your child?
AY: No, I am not afraid.

Q: What do you mean?
AY: Just that, I am not afraid.

Q: And what if by the age of 18 a child is burnt out, does not want to do anything?
AY: There is not reason to let your child roam free, so that later when a teenager you have to take him to a drug rehab, while being proud “that we gave him freedom earlier”..

Q: But what if you push, push, push, and he just gives up.. or even runs away from home..
AY: it should not be accomplished with a belt or punishment, the chosen activities must the ones that your child enjoys..

Q: so, ok….. let’s say you made a schedule for your child, school and activities, and as the year goes by, you child says his heart is not in this or that activity. How will you handle it? Will you isten to your child’s wish, let him quit, offer something else, or force him to continue?
AY: Ok, let me give you an example. My oldest daughter Lisa for the past year, or even longer, wanted to take dance lessons. So we brought her into the “Todes” dance school. She trained there, until this March we noticed she is not interested, and she said that she no longer wants to. Naturally I and Tatiana said to her “Lisa, lets finish this semester/session and then we can talk about trying another activity”.

Q: And did she finish the session?
AY: yes, and now that the youngest one wants to study ballet (at the same school) and rhythmic gymnastics, the older one wants to return to the dance school, just into another group for older girls. Kids are kids, today they want to paint or sing, next day they don’t, and then they want to again.

Now I know, that neither one of them will become a ballerina, or a gymnastics champion. I’ll remind again, there is a difference between “high achievement sports” and “recreational”.

(Commercial break again. Informal conversation about shows in Crimea, kids and gadgets, etc.)

Q: Let’s go back to your childhood. As a child, did you not want to be out on the streets, taking a breath of fresh air, chasing a ball, instead of being stuck at an ice rink the whole time, run around, run but not on skates?
AY: You don’t have to ask me twice for me to tell that yes, of course, I wanted to go out with the boys and play ball. To go to the woods camping with school friends.

Q: And did you ever do it? What it be so bad if you did?
AY: Yes, I did it once or twice…. But if I did what I wanted, and not what had to be done, then right now I would be nothing.

And a big thank you to my mother who “killed my childhood”, because thanks to her, I now have everything, what I have now, and what I will have in the future.

Now we live in the “post-Soviet” times, where people still have the mentality of thinking they have the right to tell others how to live. I spit on the opinion of others how Tatiana and I should raise our children. For example now that Lisa and Michele both decided that they want to dance, it brought them closer together. Before they were not as close, you know, two kids competing for parents’ attention..

Also, now my oldest, Lisa, wants to develop her own computer game. That’s her latest. Or do something in IT, maybe develop her own youtube channel. So now, besides dance and gymnastics, we will arrange additional private elecytronics/IT classes and computer programming.

Q: Let me run by you a story, with my friends, and let’s see what you think about it. It is a true story, but no names. My friends have a daughter, she studied abroad, finished school, now it was time to chose where to go for higher education. She was given a choice to study in any country of the world, at any University of choice. Yet she told her parents “No! I don’t want to. I don’t want to study further. I know what to do next”.
AY: and what was it?

Q: She saved some money, found some investors, and opened her own, very small private florist business. She is very successful at it. She says that there is nothing else that she’d rather do. Does not want to study a day longer, just do her flower arrangements. That if she ever decides she can go and study later, but for now flowers is all she wants to do, it is her life and she is good at it. And her parents let her. And she is happy and she is successful, but yes, she did not continue her studies..
AY: I get what you’re asking, a while back.. And I will say “good for her parents. Praise to them for that decision”. But lets not forget this girl was an adult, and we are talking about very young children.

Q: But that girl was only 17…
AY: And that is not a child.

Q: And what if your child said to you “I don’t want to go to colloge”?
AY: But she is already 17… and she is not a child.

Q: So, if you girls come to you and say they don’t want to study, after all the activities you provided them with in childhood, and probably in expectation that they will go to university, and yet they say they don’t want to. Will you accept?
AY: Yes, because when they are 15-16-17….

Q: So at 15 is a cut off when you will stop insisting?
AY: Please go back and look at the subject of our discussion today, it states “children”. At 17 they are not children.

Q: Some think that even at 40 one is still a child.. Have you never heard such?
AY: Then it is parents’ fault that at the age of 17-18 one still considers oneself a child, it’s even worst if one is 40.. It’s their tragedy. It’s the parents who screwed up if their kid at such age still lives in La-La-Land..

Q: So at what age a parent should let go?
AY: Of course, in each specific case it is somewhat individual, each parent should be able to tell. In case of the flower girl, I see no problem - she came to her parents with a concrete business plan, not just “I don’t want to study, but don’t know what I want to do”.. But this girl was given good basics, she developed a good head on her shoulders, she came with a specific activity she wanted to engage in, and she is, as you said, a success. So no, in this case it is not a problem.

Q: The only reason I asked you about this situation is because when a parent hears that a child does not want to go to college, it is a big mental blow to the parent. All that is invested, all that is planed. It hits you hard when you hear that your kid does not want to study, as we come from generations when education is also prestigious. If you don’t get a higher education, you’ll end up under a fence (on a skid row).
AY: The primary/main education is in the 12-year programme. After that they can chose what to do next. It all depends on a situation.

Q: Let’s say, if hypothetically, you and Tanka are strong/resilient people, but your child is not, he is weak and can’t handle it all, what then?
AY: What do you mean by “weak”? in the brain, or physically? Again, I believe that if a child is “weak”, it is the parents’ fault. When kids are “weak”, it means they have weak parents, who could not build a strong character in their children (could not raise their kids strong).

Q: So in other words, you believe that all are born with equal abilities, and it is a matter of upbringing?
AY: Yes, with some plus/minus specifics. If a child is failing at something, it is pretty much parents’ fault. It is all on parents, because they are the ones at the child’s side at the beginning of his life. It is the parents who are the primary influence. It is they who direct, and either say “you must do it”, or “do what you want, how you want it, just be free and happy, la-la-la-la..”… and then you get….. well… I can’t say what I want to say on the air.. Yes, that’s how the problems start (when parents do not guide). Again I am not suggesting “rude/rough methods” but “tough/demanding methods”. Then, when your kid finishes high-school, you can be proud that you’ve raised a respectable member of society, and not some punk who chased balls on the streets all his young life or whatever BS he was engaged in.

Q: Oh, there now must be several psychologists, and also listeners, who are now sharpening their teeth against you. Your methods are quite Spartan. Plus, there are some back-yard ball chasers who grow up to become big-name footballers.

(Commercial break, private discussion continues):
Q: someone sent a message “it is never too late to study. Very few after college work in the field of their major.”
Back to an earlier question. If a child is born mentally weak, and can’t handle the activities/pressure, should one still insist/push him?
AY: In my book? Yes.

Q: But some say the psychic might breaks down, some one of weak construction….
AY: You can take any piece of shit and make something of him. There are no totally hopeless situations. My mother used to wake me up at 4 am for years, and I was a stubborn kid…

(music turned on, conversation is blocked).

Q: We’re back in the studio with Alexei Yagudin, and he has some strong opinions.
Earlier when we talked to parents about choosing activites for their kids, some told us that such activities take up time and effort, some parents don’t have the time, or want to spend that time on them selves. Some way “I have my own life to live”.

When you plan you kids’ activities, you take them yourselves, or do you have nannies or helpers? If you take them yourselves, how do you find time given how busy you both are professionally?
AY: First of all, the term “I could not find time to do something important” does not exist in my vocabulary.

Q: That’s what my physics teacher used to say! And that taught me a good lesson for life. When someone complained that he/she did not have time to finish homework, she used to say “a day does not consist of just 24 hours. A day consists of the amount of hours that you need to take care of all your business”. She taught me well.
AY: She is absolutely right. As far as my kids’ activities, the transport and the attendance, of course we have a private driver who is helpful.
I am personally very busy and everyone here knows how busy I am and work non-stop. So if my daughter wakes up early in the morning and needs to go to a class or a group, I can help her wake up, but will not drive her myself. After all, I am the main bread winner in the family. And yes, when need to, there is a driver, and we also have a nanny..

Q: But there are some parents who are also busy with work, but can’t afford a driver or a nanny.. of course maybe they can do something to improve the situation and do better..
AY: (continues to listed to the question).

Q: At the same time, there are many after school activities and classes provided by the schools themselves… like my daughter goes at her school. They stay on school grounds and activities are right there.
So back to parents, some are too lazy to spend time on it, some can’t afford but not trying to do better…… it’s on parents, right?
AY: Children’s setbacks are all on parents’ shoulders. I think it is nonsense to blame a child.
Q: So, earlier you said “my kids will not be professional athletes”.

AY: When did I say that? I said “I will not insist or push, but they can if they want to”.
Q: … you mean you will not push them into it yourself, right?

AY: I said this: “sports for health – mandatory”, “sports professionally – if they want to”. After they complete their education, if they have a wish to continue in sports, I will help and support them.

Q: How do you feel about “professional dynasties”, in sports, in music, in arts… Sometimes you see a singer from a singing dynasty and notice that the nature has overlooked him as far as talent. And yet the parents keep pushing him, because they will not allow that the kid does not follow their footsteps. It happens in all areas, arts, sports… How do you feel about it?

AY: Look, even today, you were surprised how our girls do not figure skating, since we both successful figure skaters. People must think “they have our genes”.. And I say to people that maybe our kids have our genes, but they do not want to figure skate.

Q: What I am talking about is when parents try to satisfy their own ambitions through their children. Some don’t care if their kid does not like it, they said so, and kid must do it. What if a talented musician is born into the family of neurosurgeons, and parents want him to pick up a scalpel and become like them..

AY: But you don’t hand a scalpel to a 4-year old.. Our conversation is about children, and yes, children should be directed. We see many professional dynasties, in sports and arts, where kids follow the foot-steps and do quite well, and then there are some that don’t…

Q: When I had my daughter, I had my fantasy, how she’ll become a big star in tennis; how I will travel with her all over the world, how she’ll win every grand-slam trophy… And when she was 3 years old, I brought her to the tennis court, for a lesson. And her coach was a huge, tall, giant man. And there she stands, hardly bigger than the tennis racket. And I am talking to the coach about her future, and he says to me “hold it mother dear, she is very little”. She did very well for 3 years, the coach was happy, and then at 6 years of age she said “mother, I rather take dance lessons”. So I did what she asked. Few years later and now she plays tennis with joy, just for her self, but with joy. Now that she is not pressured, she enjoys it. And with dancing, it became crazy….. now she has a knee injury, but she won’t stop dancing and dances with her hands, what can you do..

(commercial break).

Q: We’re back. Discussing same issue: child and activities, who should chose, parent or child.
I would like to read you a story we received from the listener. Viktoria has 4 children. One daughter is now 17, and when she was 4 she started in gymnastics. Then on year later she wanted to quit and I let her. Then years later she started to blame me for not keeping her in this sport. She is now blaming mother for not being tough with her, as she regrets the missed opportunity, now wants to be a gymnast but it is too late. what do you have to say about that?

I think there is a fine line, in what case to make what decision. That’s the most important function of parents, to be able to tell when pushing is needed and when not.. When it is laziness, when it is a momentary feeling, when it is puberty, and when it is serious.. Psychology is a complicated matter. Alexei, you feel that parents should direct, no matter what.

AY: Not always “not matter what”. Here, sitting at this round-table discussion, I want to remind that we live in the post-Soviet society where everyone likes to tell another what to do and how to live. Every comment is viewed as “advise to others”.

We, Tatiana and i, do not think like that. We are not telling others how to raise their kids. We are only sharing our personal decision. Others are free to raise their kids how they see fit.

Q: And what about psychologists? Should they be giving their advice? Or do you think they are wrong?
AY: There are no ideal solutions. It’s like a stock market, something is up, something is down. All depends on the competence of those giving advise. There are charlatans who “read the stars”…

Q: But we’re not talking about them, we’re talking about psychologists..
AY: There are all sorts who feel qualified to give advise. Tatiana and I think it should be done this way. How others chose to raise their kids, is absolutely none of our business.

Back to the girl who quit gymnastics and now is blaming her mother. Well, you see, she was not pushed/directed, and now she regrets it. If she was pushed, there was still no guarantee she’d succeed. And yet maybe she would… Now we’ll never know, and you can never tell. None of us can even predict what will happen tomorrow. But one phrase is the key, and you said it earlier – all the responsibility sits on parents’ shoulders. All the responsibility for the child is on them. And if every parent realizes it, and follows it, then there will be at least some kind of result for their child.

Q: I would like to now announce the results of the on-line vote from our listeners: 80% said the child should choose the activities, and 19% said it should be parents (with 1% not sure).
AY: And that’s how it should be, each family should select for themselves. The most important thing is, that when your child grows up, he/she comes to you and says “Thank you mother/father, for making the right decisions which allowed me to become successful in life”.

Q: Well, let’s meet years from now and you’ll tell me about your daughters. People often tell me too “oh, look how busy your kids are, won’t they get tired?”. They will not get tired, as long as you make it fun for them, and it is done in a way that they lose the desire, that love for the activity… and that’s the most important.
***
 

Japanfan

Well-Known Member
Messages
24,681
AY: the reality is, one becomes an ice dancer after one fails to be a successful singles skater. One first starts as a single skater, if one fails then it is usually pairs, and if not good in pairs, then it is ice dance… and if you fail in dance, then you become a coach, and if you fail as a coach then you become a … (judge or a functionary)…

Some ice dancers might take issue with that, like Tessa and Scott, who started skating together at 7 & 9, IIRC. Of course all skaters start out in singles (SFAIK), but some quickly gravitate to pairs or dance. And some do so later when they find themselves better suited to skating with a partner.

The way Alexei worded his view makes it looks like ice dance and pairs are inferior to singles, and coaching inferior to ice dance. He comes across as quite arrogant.

… for health, for good figure, for looks, they are girls after all..

:mad:

All in all, Alexei comes across as a very controlling parent, IMO.
 
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AxelAnnie

Like a small boat on the ocean...
Messages
13,528
Very interesting reading. I agree with much of what he said.

However he is in for a shock. A parent can do all the right things and the child can still turn out to be an addict, low achiever, or a million other things you had not planned and would not have chosen. He thinks he has way more power than he actually has.

But I like his spirit!
 

Tinami Amori

Well-Known Member
Messages
20,157
He thinks he has way more power than he actually has.
I think there are a lot of oversimplifications, about parenting, stated in this interview by Yagudin and show-hosts (for various reasons). I think Yagudins let their kids choose and have their say, but also stress hard work, fulfilling obligations (like requiring his daughter to finish the class before switching activity), and are making sure that during the time when a child absorbs like a sponge, their children absorb as much as possible from activities that would benefit their lives in the future.

These kids have a happy life... imo.. they have parents' love and everything else..

plus they travel half of the world... so that kids are not just accomplished, but also globe trotters..

(i am mad at the Radio station for tuning out the part where Yagudin told the story about cast fight in Averbuch's show.. :D )
 

Rina RUS

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,076
All in all, Alexei comes across as a very controlling parent, IMO.

He is... responsible, but too playful and careless to be a strict "controlling" parent. He honestly tells, that Tatiana keeps asking when he's going to grow up.
(actually, I think Tatiana is OK with his behaviour)
They say Tatiana is stricter. Though... Tatiana worried about a crying baby. Alexei didn't want her to pamper a crying baby too much, if the baby isn't hungry, isn't wet.

:) Alexei also said (about making skaters of his daughters):
I was asked not long ago: "Are your children going to follow in your footsteps?" I said: "Yes, they will follow, only if it is a sandy beach, dad leads the way, and they follow like such ducklings, tread in my footsteps in the sand."
in the same interview:
I remember those moments, when my mom was waking me up, and I was saying: "pretty please, another 5 minutes!" /.../ Everything is repeated! The same picture. "Another 5 minutes, daddy!" Naturally, daddy will do everything for his dear daughter. And daddy lies down by her side, thinking: "OK, another 5 minutes. Such a wonderful child!"
(with subtitles)

He thinks he has way more power than he actually has.

Well, in this talk he says, that nobody knows what activity can give a good result and etc. ("If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.")
Yet Yagudin likes to say, that one can find time for anything, if only he really wants to do it. This is his attitude to time, when he makes plans.
Actually... his shedule can be insane. :yikes:
When people think he can't make it to the airport in time... he goes like this:
I don't think it is good, but... this is his way to plan his day. Often he agrees to do something, even if he almost has no time to sleep.
It is not good, but... it is also beautiful, that he is ready to go from city to city in order to show morning exercises to any people who would like to come. Or for the sake of some other events. In the morning he is in another city, smiling and talking about the sun. :)
 

Rina RUS

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These kids have a happy life... imo.. they have parents' love and everything else..

:) Be careful, Tinami Amori: you become kind. It can happen, that the next time you'll say Tarasova is not a monster.
As for travelling... well, somebody asked indeed how Liza studies (when the family had a rest). We have to believe she studies somehow.

By the way, I like, that they participated in making the video for this nice song about sons and daughters (even though the text isn't great poetry) :)
Nice songs become a rare thing too...
 
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muffinplus

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The way Alexei worded his view makes it looks like ice dance and pairs are inferior to singles, and coaching inferior to ice dance. He comes across as quite arrogant.

Not comes across. Is. I just saw that he trashed Popova and Mozgov on his Instagram for saying their athlete's salary is hard to live on by referencing his own financial hardships when he used to be a skater. He think they need to deserve to get paid more by working harder before complaining about their salary.
 

Lanie

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So when his children were babies, he just ignored them if he thought they didn't need anything? (what @Rina RUS said?)

Yikes.
 

Rina RUS

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He think they need to deserve to get paid more by working harder before complaining about their salary.
You know, I read that interview, Mozgov even said, that Miroshkin had a bigger salary than him (though Miroshkin had similar achievements), Mozgov said: "How?! It isn't clear" I think Mozgov is wrong indeed, when he even points with his finger at Miroshkin. In the interview.
Maybe Yagudin is wrong, but Yagudin is right - both at once.

by referencing his own financial hardships when he used to be a skater
When Yagudin was a young skater, he was already a champion, and his financial situation was not bad. So... actually, he compares the complaining skaters to the kids and to their parents: when he and many other Russian champions were kids, their financial situation was worse indeed. That time was difficult for all the country. I was a kid too back then, but I think now life is easier in Russia, even though now parents have to spend much money, if they want their kid to skate.
As for Yagudin, his mom used to make him jump at an outdoor rink in evenings and to study at nights. She used to say he had a mistake in his homework, if he had a mistake, - but he had to look for that mistake without her help. When he was so tired, that he couldn't read anymore, she read to him. And he is grateful to his mom.

Yagudin thinks, that partly he is just lucky, that he became a champion. So he doesn't think he has such a result just because he works harder than other people.
 
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Rina RUS

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So when his children were babies, he just ignored them if he thought they didn't need anything?
I think you don't know how it was. I don't know too: I wasn't there. It seems Tatiana doesn't think he was cruel. I just remember what they tell, I think it wouldn't be fair to say, that Tatiana is just always tougher than Alexei.
As far as I remember, they say he was a father who was able to change diapers and could stay with his daughter without mom or nanny from the very beginning. He is ready to get up at night, he is ready to wake up the older daughter (so that Tatiana could sleep), when Tatiana takes care of the new baby.
Yet he says only later he really started to feel he became a father. As far as I know, many fathers say the same.
 

Tinami Amori

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Not comes across. Is. I just saw that he trashed Popova and Mozgov on his Instagram for saying their athlete's salary is hard to live on by referencing his own financial hardships when he used to be a skater. He think they need to deserve to get paid more by working harder before complaining about their salary.
I read that whole drama, P/M's interview and many other interviews, and what Yagudin said. Yagudin is not my favorite person, but he was right in what he said to them.

P/M often complain that Federation does not pay them enough, while what they receive is what all other teams receive on their level. Just like there are different sums in USA for skaters in Envelopes A, B, C. Yagudin said that a) when they get to the higher rank, they will get paid according to their rank. and b) that when he was starting out, he had very little money too, and sometimes had to collect empty bottles from behind bars and back yards to turn in for cash at the local store.

I read all i could about P/M, and they pretty much have the same gripes against "society, life and federation" as Tonya Harding did in her situation. They even say the same things she used to:
  • We're poor, have to make our own costumes, can't afford stuff.
  • We're underappreciated and misunderstood, because we're so unique and beyond "average person's understanding".
  • We're "bad kids on the block", not the role models the Federation and coaches looks for, and they are holding us back.
  • We will keep on being "bad kids on the block", because that's how we are. We'll put on more tattoos even if we're told to cover them up during events. But then we have to use more fabrique on the costumes and that's more expensive and we're broke... But we will keep getting tattoos, because we want to piss of people..
  • They don't like us.... they like "good boys" like Drozd, because he is just so perfect, well groomed, polite and everyone likes him, but not us...

They are almost word for word, and attitude wise - "Tonya Harding 101".... and i have many links, with their comments and interviews, but it will be a long and tedious sequence.. :D
-
 

Rina RUS

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he had very little money too, and sometimes had to collect empty bottles from behind bars and back yards to turn in for cash at the local store.
Collecting cans for cash isn't his story - as it seems.
I wasn't sure what he meant when he said: "we collected beer cans" - but later (as far as I remember) he said, that he had a collection of cans. Back then Russian kids had such collections: sweet-wrappers, or empty cans, or empty cigarette boxes.
He could watch TV only when he had dinner, but his family had TV and dinner. His situation wasn't as difficult as Plushenko's. He has to mention other skaters, when he speaks about "hardships".
 

Tinami Amori

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Collecting cans for cash isn't his story - as it seems.
I wasn't sure what he meant when he said: "we collected beer cans"
Back in the "soviet days" and into the 1990's kids and retirees, and drunks who needed money for drinks, would collect "тара" (beer bottles and cans, all sorts of containers) and turned them in for cash at a recycling/collection station, to get few kopeeks per each item, or by weight later in the 1990's.


This is what Yagudin said:

Popova/Mozgov: said that their 30,000 rubles per months Federation salary is too little.
Yagudin said: "Oh goodness! How terrible for them! Back in our days we did no receive any salary (from Federation), did not have (foreign) training camps, nothing was offered to us! And look, we're still alive and healthy! Tatiana Totmiyanina and her mother back then had to share 1 pare of decent shoes, and slept inside the factory building in Perm, on two chairs pulled together! When Evgeniy Pluschenko and Maxim Marinin came from Volgograd, they had no money for food! We had to collect beer bottles! And they complain that 30,000 rubles is too little for them. One needs to work hard and show results, then the funding will increase!"

And here is about Pluschenko collecting empty bottles so he could eat, when he was 11.
"you know, for example 11 year old Evgeniy, when he came from Volgograd to Petersburg, to be able to skate seriously, had to collect empty bottles, to buy food."

We all collected bottles..... back in the early 1970's i used to make about 5 rubles a week, on a good week. that's how we kids made extra money, and some pensioners and retirees supplemented their income.
 
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muffinplus

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P/M didn't even really complain according to the person who interviewed them...and why does Yagudin need to put his opinion out there in such an arrogant way? And "just because X happened 100 years ago, Y should be logical now" is not a strong argument...

It's just the way he comes across. Constantly tactless.


— Как зарабатывать фигуристу, который не в топе и без кучи рекламных контрактов?
Сергей
: У нас и нет кучи контрактов.
Бетина: Подкатывать.
Сергей: Работать с детьми.
Бетина: Потому что на нашу зарплату выжить просто невозможно.
Сергей: Возможно, но в другом регионе, где все менее затратно. Не в Москве. На нашу зарплату трудно существовать.
— Слышал, что она около 30 тысяч рублей.
Сергей
: Ну, с натяжкой.
Бетина: 30 тысяч — это удачный месяц.
— А она разве не фиксированная?
Сергей
: Была ситуация, что мне однажды пришла зарплата размером в одну копейку.
Бетина: У нас даже был скриншот этой транзакции. Но самое обидное, что мне вообще ничего не пришло! Даже копейку не прислали!
Сергей: У меня был еще один забавный случай. Когда я был чемпионом мира среди юниоров еще с другой партнершей (Анной Яновской. — Sport24) у меня была хорошая зарплата — 120 тысяч в месяц.
Бетина: (грустным голосом) У меня такого никогда не было.
Сергей: Было очень круто, я накопил на ремонт, сделал его в квартире. Но в это же время со мной выступал парник Максим Мирошкин. Он тоже был чемпионом мира, но почему-то получал на сто тысяч больше, чем я… Хотя примерно одни и те же регалии… Как?! Непонятненько.
 

Rina RUS

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Back in the "soviet days" and into the 1990's kids and retirees, and drunks who needed money for drinks, would collect "тара" (beer bottles and cans, all sorts of containers) and turned them in for cash at a recycling/collection station

I know.
The words which he used can mean both variants: collecting in order to get cash or having a "collection". As far as I remember, not long ago he said it was a collection. It also seems his mom didn't give him an opportunity to "collect" many cans. As far as I remember, his mom even didn't want him to spend much time in a communal apartment, because it wasn't clean and he wasn't a healthy child - so she wanted him to do sports.
I would be OK with collecting in order to get cash too. Actually, I don't care.
 

Rina RUS

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Constantly tactless.

I think if Mozgov wasn't tactless, he could easily say "another skater" instead of "Miroshkin". I think Miroshkin's salary isn't Miroshkin's fault. I don't see any reasons to point at him.

Anyway I've agreed Yagudin was partly wrong. He is not careful indeed.
(He is... able to be careful, but often he doesn't care.)
 

muffinplus

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I think if Mozgov wasn't tactless, he could easily say "another skater" instead of "Miroshkin". I think Miroshkin's salary isn't Miroshkin's fault. I don't see any reasons to point at him.

While that could have been phrased better, that's nothing to do with Yagudin's behavior..(.and he is just wondering why he didn't get paid the same as someone else, not why someone else did to deserve to be paid more)
 

Japanfan

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P/M didn't even really complain according to the person who interviewed them...and why does Yagudin need to put his opinion out there in such an arrogant way? And "just because X happened 100 years ago, Y should be logical now" is not a strong argument...

It's just the way he comes across. Constantly tactless.

'Arrogant' was the word I used previously.

And I think a little graciousness would look good on Yagudin, in light of all the wealth and privilege he now has.
 

Rina RUS

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I think a little graciousness would look good on Yagudin, in light of all the wealth and privilege he now has.

His wealth? :) You know... he doesn't care. He still lives like this:
And it seems Denis Ten liked this feature. Yagudin liked the same feature about Denis: "As for demands - Denis and I are alike. We don't care where we can change our clothes, where we can go for lunch. We almost didn't touch these issues. We had more important issues - master classes, work, thinking about music..."

I just feel, that if Yagudin had another nature - without those negative sides which you see - he would be another person (most likely) - without those rare positive sides which I see. I think he has an amazing nature, with rare positive features. I forgive him, because I think, that being polite (for example) is not the most important thing. :)
(It is funny, that he is able to be gentle - when he thinks he should be gentle.)
 

Rina RUS

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While that could have been phrased better, that's nothing to do with Yagudin's behavior.

Really? :) Well, I could say too, that Yagudin's position could have been just "phrased better", but I say they both are partly wrong.

I also think Yagudin's position is better than their complaints, when he says:

Those were golden years, but the [Russian skating] federation did nothing. Only once they sent me a pair of skates, that was their help, the boots with blades, yet those were the blades for ice dancers, not for a single skater. They didn't care how we were. They knew: when we go, we win. We win, and they stand next to us, they make a photo. Everything is cool in their federation! Yet there was no help from them. We didn't need any help, we were strong enough, we had perfect strong coaches. The help wasn't needed, yet they should have saved figure skating schools, because many came from regions. Zhenya Plushenko is from Volgograd, Maxim Marinin is from Volgograd, Tanya Totmianina is from Perm. And there are other skaters who came from regions. Now when we go to Volgograd with an ice show, we bring our ice with us. Everything is ruined. Roughly speaking, they milked us and did nothing.
("milked"="were getting milk from us"="were getting good results")

I think Yagudin isn't as selfish as the one who thinks only about his own salary, but spends money on expensive tattoos, when his salary is big (when he is a junior champion).

If we return to children and parents, in that interview Betina says she would have chosen "having childhood", if she could choose between "childhood" and hard work for her future. Yagudin chooses work for himself and says he chooses work for his kids, even though he says: "they will follow [my footsteps], only if it is a sandy beach".
Yagudin says again and again, that he is grateful to his mom. Betina says, that in sport mom makes five-year-old skater work "until he dies". What about "phrasing better"? :)
It is not only about being polite, it is about position too.
 
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jlai

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When it comes to parenting it is easy to disagree. While some are better parents than others, just like some people are nicer than others, I think most parenting have strengths and SERIOUS flaws - we just don't like to admit our parenting has problems because we all want to think we are doing the very best for our kids. However, I don't see why one method has to be "better".

The thing is we are human. As humans, we have strengths and weaknesses, and our parenting methods also reflect such strengths and weaknesses. THe popular parenting method these days reflect the strong and weak points of our times. A very laid back parent may be a little too lax on some things, while an overstrict parent may cause a kid to rebel, etc etc. etc. And I'll add, we are not doing our best 24/7, around the clock, though I am sure we try to do our best. (Just think of the times you forgot to check on your kid when you have to finish your TV show, read a page of your novel, or whatever)
Our behavioral flaws don't disappear just because we are parents. :)
 

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