Gracie Gold's memoir published February 2024

[Spikefan]

I would add Lake arrowhead and ice castles skating rink

Boot problems
(and then) Toe

Which is what I thought of with Ilia at Nationals.

 

[Sparks]

Surya seems to be a genuinely nice person who is on great terms with a lot of the women who were her major competitive rivals. In the end, the fact that she’s so well-liked has always made me assume that she was more sportsmanlike in most interactions than that one incident might suggest.

When I met her after COI in 2002, she was delightful and funny. Her autograph was a work of art

 

[VGThuy]

I follow Surya on social media and it’s always nice to see how supportive she seems of her fellow skaters and skaters who competed after her.

 

[Kelvster]

I met Surya too in 2002. She was simply delightful. We chatted for a while (using my limited French). Really lovely person!!!!

 

[SkateFanBerlin]

I'm reading OFSWL on the Berlin subway. I imagine everyone is looking at me and jealous because I have a copy.

 

[BittyBug]

I'm reading OFSWL on the Berlin subway. I imagine everyone is looking at me and jealous because I have a copy.

Dating myself here, but

Berlin - The Metro

www.youtube.com

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

I'm reading OFSWL on the Berlin subway.

Which line? And between which stops do you get on and off?

 

[Vagabond]

Dating myself here

Never date yourself when you could be dating someone else.

 

[Wyliefan]

Getting back to the original topic , I just saw in Ashley's IG stories that Gracie's book hit the NY Times bestseller list.

 

[barbk]

It's not simply that Gracie Gold and Ashley Wagner didn't like each other very much or didn't get along.

I can understand why a book in process would still have the claim that Gold was the first and only US woman to win NHK in "About the Author," because Ava Marie Ziegler won at the end of November 2023, and, if book production is anything like it was when I worked in the industry, it was too late to fix without costing $$$$.

However, Ashley Wagner described her assault by John Coughlin in Summer 2019. On page 224 Gold writes that she does not think that SafeSport should have closed its investigation after Coughlin's suicide:


She's asking the readers to believe her rape -- which I do -- although it wasn't investigated, for reasons she describes, and which I fully understand, but, if she still has those specific questions, that says to me that she hasn't taken the harm done to Wagner seriously.

"But without a conclusion to the investigation, there can be no real closure.

In the absence of definitive answers, I carry with me, like rocks in my pockets, weighty questions:
Was I best friends with a predator?
Were other women hurt by someone I dearly loved?..."

I don't follow how wondering whether OTHER women were hurt by Coughlin suggests that she doesn't take the harm done to Ashley seriously. If you were close friends with someone like that, wouldn't you also wonder?

 

[Yuri]

I finished Gracie's book yesterday and am even more impressed with her than when I first heard about her troubles and comeback. I believe this book could transcend the niche skating world as many of her life lessons go well beyond Olympics figure skating. I convinced one of my every four years Olympics fans to purchase it as I raved about it daily to him, and can't wait to get the perspective of someone not as tied to skating as me and my family. I admit to identifying a bit with Carly as a non-skating sibling in the family when attending US Nationals as the child who went onto university.

Despite some advanced preparation with general knowledge of the events, Chapter 17 gutted me, especially the letter that made me cry. Regarding Chapter 11, I am glad that Gracie provided sufficient bread crumbs to eliminate almost every possible suspect so there's limited speculation about her rapist's identity. Hopefully, this book will motivate Safesport to bring her some closure, even if it means exposing a popular, high-level skater.

Gracie Gold was one of the primary reasons that I attended 2020 US Nationals in Greensboro NC after a 22-year break and her standing ovations were worth the trip. I also wanted to see the world class US ice dancers and the incredible Nathan Chen, but I was thrilled when Gracie qualified at Easterns!

 

[kwanfan1818]

I don't follow how wondering whether OTHER women were hurt by Coughlin suggests that she doesn't take the harm done to Ashley seriously. If you were close friends with someone like that, wouldn't you also wonder?

If I took Wagner seriously, I would know that the answer to both questions is "Yes." I might be devastated by the answer, but I wouldn't be wondering any longer.

 

[acraven]

I think it may come down to whether you interpret "other skaters" to mean "other than myself [Gracie]" or "other than Ashley and others who have gone public".

I haven't read the book yet, so I don't know the context of her comment.

 

[Allskate]

She's asking the readers to believe her rape -- which I do -- although it wasn't investigated, for reasons she describes, and which I fully understand, but, if she still has those specific questions, that says to me that she hasn't taken the harm done to Wagner seriously.

Based on reading the entire book, including the entire chapter, I disagree. I think Gracie would very much like to believe that all the accusations were lies, but can't. It would be easier for her. It would make it possible for her to not question her own judgment. I think that the person that Gracie is hardest on in that chapter may be herself. And that is why she is asking herself whether she was best friends with a predator and could be again. (She also is hard on herself for not flying out to be with John.) She doesn't say that she thinks that his accusers (including Ashley) are lying. Definitely not.

She does question the Safesport process. Partly because she wanted the investigation to continue after John died because she thought it would bring more closure and partly because of the timing of varying cases. (I have to say that I do wonder why the accusations about John were acted on and somehow public so quickly while nothing apparently has been done with Gracie's case in years.) But, you can question the Safesport process and still believe that sexual assault accusers usually are truthful.

At this point, I think the real issue going forward is how Gracie, as a coach and person who spends time around skaters and coaches, would handle it if she became aware of sexual abuse problems and accusations and risks.

 

[Vagabond]

AFAIK, SafeSport, like law enforcement, has no authority to investigate claims against a dead person. And why should it? The resources would be better spent on investigating claims against those who can be brought to justice.

 

[Allskate]

AFAIK, SafeSport, like law enforcement, has no authority to investigate claims against a dead person. And why should it? The resources would be better spent on investigating claims against those who can be brought to justice.

SafeSport's role is not bringing someone to justice. It's role is protecting athletes. If you've read the book, then you know that Gracie is aware that SafeSport doesn't investigate dead people because dead people cannot be a threat to an athlete. (IMO, the culture and people who might have fostered or allowed a threat to continue probably should still be investigated.)

I think Gracie addresses the issues raised with a lot more complexity and nuance than some people here do or give her credit for.

 

[overedge]

I wish SafeSport had continued with the Coughlin investigation to address which people or organizations enabled his behaviour. And done something about those enablers.

 

[Trillian]

(I have to say that I do wonder why the accusations about John were acted on and somehow public so quickly while nothing apparently has been done with Gracie's case in years.)

Without getting into specifics - because I don’t think people should be guessing names in public forums unless Gracie chooses to name him - I suspect based on a few of the bread crumbs she dropped that it may have been a case where SafeSport had a different set of challenges and considerations in terms of investigating and imposing sanctions. I don’t personally think that’s any excuse for them to have waited so long to contact Gracie or take whatever further action was warranted. I just think there were likely differences between the two cases that explain the inept response (but don’t excuse it).

I wish SafeSport had continued with the Coughlin investigation to address which people or organizations enabled his behaviour. And done something about them.

Agreed.

 

[ross_hy]

Congrats to Gracie for being able to add "New York Times best-selling author" to her bio!
https://www.nytimes.com/books/best-sellers/combined-print-and-e-book-nonfiction/

 

[Allskate]

Congrats to Gracie for being able to add "New York Times best-selling author" to her bio!
https://www.nytimes.com/books/best-sellers/combined-print-and-e-book-nonfiction/

As @Wyliefan mentioned above, Ashley Wagner congratulated Gracie for being on the New York Times bestsellers list.

Login • Instagram

Welcome back to Instagram. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world.

www.instagram.com

So, I'm going to guess that, like many others, Ashley doesn't interpret Gracie's book as not taking seriously the harm Coughin caused Ashley.

 

[Willin]

So many posters are forgetting that Adam Rippon supported John as well, which initially caused some issues between him and Ashley, but they've since worked it out. I didn't hear anything about Gracie defending him, just saying how different her knowledge of John was and how had it was to reconcile that knowledge with what he was accused of.

I think Ashley realizes as much as anyone that predators have two faces and it's possible that others had a different experience in knowing him. Ashley is probably friends with or at least had a positive image of other skaters who have since been accused.

 

[2sk8]

Without getting into specifics - because I don’t think people should be guessing names in public forums unless Gracie chooses to name him - I suspect based on a few of the bread crumbs she dropped that it may have been a case where SafeSport had a different set of challenges and considerations in terms of investigating and imposing sanctions. I don’t personally think that’s any excuse for them to have waited so long to contact Gracie or take whatever further action was warranted. I just think there were likely differences between the two cases that explain the inept response (but don’t excuse it).



Agreed.

I've been pondering this as I listen to the audiobook. I think you are correct, and I think - suspect, as you say - that if/when this person is identified, many will find there is as much if not more hand-wringing and reconciling that needs to be done than there was with Coughlin. The "breadcrumbs" suggest a very limited pool of options, and all would be shocking compared to what we think we know of those options. I will leave this part at that.

The real issue continues to be enabling at a higher level of all types of abuse, bullying, etc. and the "face" that needs to be worn, that Gracie really nails in her descriptions, that harms skaters of all levels and genders. It's so sad and takes so much from this amazing sport.

 

[moonvine]

Congrats to Gracie for being able to add "New York Times best-selling author" to her bio!
https://www.nytimes.com/books/best-sellers/combined-print-and-e-book-nonfiction/

I never had a doubt in my mind. My Queen!

 

[moonvine]

Would you mind sharing your idea via PM?

I would like to hear it also. I have the audiobook, specifically because I wanted to hear it in Gracie's own voice, but I see I will need a Kindle edition too....something searchable, I'm sure she won't mind me buying two copies.

 

[kosjenka]

She does not name him. I don’t think she would be allowed to legally. Check your pm.

 

[SorrySkater]

I would like to hear it also. I have the audiobook, specifically because I wanted to hear it in Gracie's own voice, but I see I will need a Kindle edition too....something searchable, I'm sure she won't mind me buying two copies.

I’m interested as well I have a few guesses.

 

[Trillian]

She does not name him. I don’t think she would be allowed to legally.

I think this is an important call out because my guess from the way that chapter was written was that his identity was withheld for legal reasons - not because Gracie was trying to keep his identity a secret. She included enough details and references to specific events where other people were involved that certainly everyone in her social circle at that time knows who she’s talking about. And as tight-knit as the skating community is, that means a lot of other people who aren’t close to her know, too. Technically she didn’t name him, but I think it’s more accurate to say she didn’t name him to us.

There are fans who have made some wrong guesses, but IMO it matters that for people in the skating world there is probably zero ambiguity about who she is talking about. I don’t believe this person has ever been publicly named in any other assault or abuse case, so the word-of-mouth could help prevent him from being able to target people in the skating world in the future. That’s not the justice she or any other victims deserve, but it’s probably as much as her publisher’s lawyers could have allowed her to do.

 

[Firedancer]

She does not name him. I don’t think she would be allowed to legally. Check your pm.

Can you pm me too?

 

[Flip Jump]

She does not name him. I don’t think she would be allowed to legally. Check your pm.

Can you PM me as well? I know this may not be apporirate but I have reread the chapter several times and can’t quite place it based on info. Thanks

 

[Desperado]

Would like a PM as well.