There are so many conflicting elements with M&H. I wonder if the two of them ever had a real heart to heart conversation about what was important to them, what they really wanted from life both as individuals and as a couple before they got married. Or were they caught up in the romance, the excitement of a new relationship, the physical attraction...all those wonderful things we experience when we fall in love. I also wonder if that's why William spoke to Harry about slowing down the relationship. That the conversation wasn't about, "we don't like this person," but more about, "make sure this person really knows what they're getting themselves into before taking the relationship to the next level."
Marrying into the BRF seems to go against everything M stands for, so why do it knowing there would be a soul-crushing toll taken on her core beliefs. Being the impetus for positive change is fantastic in theory but trying to do that in an organization hundreds of years old, steeped in traditions (traditions that they seem to mostly like), not known for innovation or fast change and in a very public sphere, that's a lot to ask of ones self. I don't believe their plan all along was to cut and run from the BRF. I also don't think H&M gave it enough time working in the BRF. Of course, I say that not knowing the internal dynamics of the family, particularly with William and Kate, except for what was made public in Harry's book. I get that M was upset by the racist coverage from some of the British media. But M was not an ingenue and being American, divorced and bi-racial, there should have been an expectation on her part that there would be negative coverage by the British media about her and, yes, that some of it would be racist because there will always be a-holes in this world who spew hatred. I really wish H&M would have stuck it out longer and that the BRF would have more supportive, particularly with muzzling the media. Imagine, now five years after H&M's marriage, how different things might have been if they had stayed part of the BRF.
Their exit strategy from the BRF has been bizarre. H&M said they wanted to live a more quiet life. Living in Southern California, Mecca of the celebrity and publicity industrial complex; the Oprah interview; the Netflix series; the book and the constant media updates. How is any of that about leading a more quiet life? Even putting all that aside, the Hollywood road they are going down, with public appearances, photos and paparazzi, while putting money in their pockets, appears to be in the worst interests of Harry's mental health. How do they justify to each other and themselves living in the world of cognative dissonance they've created? I hope the future holds good things for them but I think some tough decisions need to be made about individual and mutual priorities, happiness and health.
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