I am not trivializing anything you say aftershocks nor do I defend in even the slightest the mean disgusting things said about Harry and Meagan, (or any of them for that matter). I realize they belong to an ages old institution and that causes immense complications. I speak only as a mother. I have rarely seen situations where fault could not be ascribed to both sides - as well as magnanimous kindness. It is also impossible to know all the issues good and bad between a lifetime of being brothers that affect this current situation. It seems to me that healing generally takes place when others stay out of it. Not easy I know with worldwide media begging for dirt - but then maybe we could just stop buying and reading it.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply
@puglover.
As I've said previously, I believe the Queen and Prince Charles are for the most part understanding of what M&H are facing, but they have been slow to show them full, solid public support. If they had, some of this 'stepping back' crisis may have been averted or lessened and solved behind-the-scenes. I said awhile ago, that a publicly united front by the royals needed to happen because when you throw one member of the family to the media wolves, it will eventually become open season on all members. The British media hold a lot of royal cards. The biggest reason why QE-II and Charles remained silent when Meghan was under daily attack, is because William is the heir and the preservation of the monarchy takes precedence, even over fairness and doing what's right. Plus, the Queen and Charles listen to advice from old-fashioned, dyed-in-the-wool courtiers who hold a lot of power behind-the-scenes, but whose names we do not know. So it was apparently more convenient for QE-II and Charles to resort to their usual stiff-upper-lip silence, which has come back to bite them.
The biggest point
@puglover:
The royal courtiers, palace p.r., and royal reporters will unfortunately NOT be staying out of it. Still over time, hopefully healing can happen between the brothers? I think the entire family has been impacted in ways we will probably never know. It is definitely sad, but there's actually a lot of bad blood that exists behind the surface among many royal families, as happens in most human families. It's just that royal families are faced with different kinds of high profile burdens. In specific regard to the Wales brothers, yes there's a lot we don't know, but there's also a lot we do know that's been publicly revealed. Both young men lost their mother, and they have both been deeply affected by their parents' unhappiness, and by inconsolable grief over their mother's loss, in different ways. Her death has not only been a void in both their lives, I believe it was the beginning of the divergence of their paths (despite the fact they were fairly close and looked out for each other). Growing up does cause change, and they are human, and they've always had a jocular sibling rivalry that has eventually turned sour.
I've said before and it is confirmed in historical documents, in biographies, in documentaries, and by what we've officially seen: future monarchs must and will be protected. That's the bottom line. Therefore,
William was coddled and protected, and Harry was allowed to take the fall often for mistakes both brothers made in their youth. Had Diana lived, she would have served as a buffer and as a guide, and as an emotional sounding board to protect both of her sons. Diana understood her sons and she knew they had different personalities. Once Diana was gone, Charles did his best, but his relationship with his sons is complicated and he hasn't always been there for them, especially not emotionally, because that's difficult for him.
It would be cool if a lot of the dirt would stop being thrown to the media. The reason a lot of things seem so confusing and hard to believe is because there is so much conflicting spin and a mountain of leaks coming from various palaces. Also, a number of reporters have direct association with particular officials and individuals inside the palaces. Make no mistake. Bottom line:
the palaces have issues with poor administration, outdated attitudes by courtiers, and a lack of unified coordination and effective communication between the palaces. Also, once again, it is well known that the Queen has never liked to be directly involved in family squabbles, and Prince Philip has been well out of being able to manage that front for many years. As well, while Prince Charles has his strengths, being decisive and having a strong backbone are not his attributes.
A lot of the leaking against the Sussexes has been coming from KP.
The whole continuation of the narrative that the 'rift' began between William & Harry due to William advising Harry that he was 'going too fast' in his relationship with Meghan is a 'pile of bunk' that doesn't make much sense. Harry was in his early thirties and he was ready to settle down. He met someone important to him, and they both knew what they had was special and they both made a commitment to each other. If indeed William and Harry had a heart-to-heart regarding Meghan, it didn't happen until a few months into M&H's relationship because Harry intentionally kept his relationship with Meghan on the down low, not telling anyone close to him in his family until perhaps starting sometime in September 2016. Harry told his father and his grandparents first.
If anyone in Harry's family were seriously concerned about Meghan, meeting her on a one-on-one level (along with the background checks on her), and the positive impact she's had on Harry should have put their fears to rest. Any objections to the pace of M&H's relationship makes no sense seeing that they were/are both in their thirties, and able to make 'rational decisions' as two mature, consenting adults. Therefore, any objections William reportedly had to the pace of the relationship smacks of insecurity on his part at best, and at worst to controlling behavior apparently based on somehow seeing Meghan as a threat to his and his wife's relationship with Harry, and/or to his and Kate's own public image. Ironically, William and Kate being less insecure and more accepting would have helped keep the so-called 'fab four' image intact. I certainly fell for that heroic label and royal image initially.
Ultimately, any purported objections by William as to the pace of his 'spare' younger brother's new and serious relationship is very suspect in view of the fact that M&H managed to continue keeping their courtship under-the-radar, despite widespread public interest once it was publicly revealed. Also, Meghan made a number of huge sacrifices in order to be with Harry. At the least, the Queen and Prince Charles were impressed enough by Meghan to fully accept her and to consent to the engagement and to the royal wedding. Some members of the family (not to mention some royal staffers) obviously weren't as chill nor as accepting. Harry was at that point 5th in line to the throne, now 6th. He's obviously not going to inherit the throne, and he'd met someone who was making/ has made a positive, beneficial difference in his life. What were/ are the objections against Meghan really about?
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