I’m going to respond to this post because I feel your feelings here are something that needs to be addressed, and has been for a while. I hope you know this is coming from a good place.
First off, I understand your frustration with the mob mentality in general, and people possibly exploiting this situation to lead online crusades.
That said, I do think if you’re getting contentious responses, it’s because your original and responsive posts come off as needlessly truculent, where you need to paint any sort of “opposition” with a broad brush and hold on to this me vs. the FSU members mentality. So, of course people will respond similarly in kind when you use that sort of rhetoric even if some of your points are actually in agreement with others.
My original response had to do with mob mentality in general across the internet and the way that people immediately claim to know all the facts and shun everyone else for not doing as they do. I found it to be a relatively tame comment- And then I was greeted with stats and 'well if you want people to stop bitching about vigilantism, then....' Although I wasn't quoted, it came directly after my comment.
There are responses in this thread that paint Nik as absolutely, positively guilty by pulling statistics from websites, saying they've worked around it long enough to know brief comments to be true, saying essentially that no one ever lies about this stuff and has no reason to. And for
some people here, anyone who doesn't get on board with that right away means that they don't care or they are enabling an abuser, or they post things like 'I wonder what the gender is of those posters'-- when in fact, that quote referred to 1 poster who was questioning whether it could be considered a forgivable 'mistake'.
I brought up Biden's sexual assault case not as a 'gotcha' but just to show that as much as some people say they always believe the accuser, it's simply
not the case. It's still circumstantial and something like a fear of Trump getting re-elected obviously caused plenty of people to dismiss claims or just look the other way. I think that's a real problem, but was told it should be in PI.
I’ve also noticed that you have this tendency to bring a lot of energy from outside this forum into this forum with your observations with how other figure skating fan communities act. It’s nice to get an insight about it, but it colors your responses to other users here who aren’t giving you same energy from the outside. Sometimes, it seems like you act like you have no choice but to deal with all those fans who annoy you, but you really don’t. At least, you don’t need to talk to other users here as if they’re the same people you’re dealing with on social media or Reddit or whatever.
I'm not talking about figure skating communities specifically (I don't read skating Reddit, for example) and as I mentioned above, it was a comment on the internet as a whole taking sides.
Just keep in mind that when you want to engage with people regarding sensitive topics, recognize that these are sensitive topics that many of us have personal experience with in a way that maybe you specifically may not understand, so try to have some consideration when you are formulating some of your responses if you want to avoid contentious responses. I haven’t responded much to this thread because I know people get heated and this is a subject matter many of us have personal experience with and heightened emotions about, and this is something I know I should consider before addressing certain topics.
Well, seeing how I have a very different set of experiences than most people here and often get lumped lumped into the problem with 'men' in general and how I'm 'racist' or 'misogynist' or 'mansplaining' for simply having a different opinion, those people should also know I'm coming from a different place than they are. And further, just because I am a (known) man here doesn't mean I don't and won't have any experience in this specific topic. We all can be more understanding of each other and especially not assume one person had it easier than the next because of A or B situation.
Even through all of this, it still doesn't take away from the danger of automatically finding each and every defendant guilty in these cases. No matter how disappointing or frustrating the system is.