The Heir, The Spare and the “Baby Brain” -The Prince Harry and Meghan show rumbles on…

[skatfan]

Probably athletes should refuse to compete on the birthdays of their children. coaches should refuse too. Olympic Games? Was it so difficult to schedule the competition for another day? Let them go to hell! birthday is more important

In Polina Edmunds podcast with Camden, he talked about one of his Worlds performances occuring on his birthday.

 

[ballettmaus]

That said, I find it hard to believe that they had to schedule the coronation on that day.

I agree. I'm sure that Charles could have changed the date if he had wanted to. But:

But we don't know why or what was said about it.

Also, here in the area, a lot of people celebrate birthday's early. It's not something I particularly like as in Berlin, at least, celebrating a birthday early was considered bad luck as you were celebrating something that hadn't happen yet. (Kind of like a baby shower. It's gained popularity recently but it's not necessarily something that happens because so much can still go wrong and then you'd be stuck with all the baby stuff...) In any case, I think different people and different cultures treat the importance of the actual birthday date birthday's differently, so while I don't think that Charles couldn't have objected if he had wanted to, we don't know how big of a deal the actual birthday is for the RF. The Queen celebrated her birthday much later each year after all.

 

[Husky]

Spare seems to be all Harry, for better or for worse. And I have a feeling that his headspace is much, much worse than hers. He's raw and angry in a way she is not.

I haven't read the book but coming from the contents that are reported, I get Diana flashbacks. The media always compared Meghan to Diana, but it seems Harry is the new Diana. Speaking out about the many humiliations and not being appreciated as an individual, just used as a placeholder (in Diana's case a breeding hen for heirs to the throne) this is so much her. He also had this contact to people that she was famous for (he looks miserable at public events these days and lost part of his charme).

We don't see much resemblance physically but I really think he has a lot of his mother's character. Unfortunately, we tend to pity women more than men. While Diana won the hearts of the people, he will likely be seen as a whiner esp. when he says that he killed dozens of Arabs which was certainly his job but it doesn't fit the image of an innocent victim.

 

[MsZem]

We don't see much resemblance physically but I really think he has a lot of his mother's character. Unfortunately, we tend to pity women more than men. While Diana won the hearts of the people, he will likely be seen as a whiner esp. when he says that he killed dozens of Arabs which was certainly his job but it doesn't fit the image of an innocent victim.

Afghans, not Arabs. But the point stands.

Harry does resemble his mother's side of the family, specifically his aunt Lady Sarah McCorquodale.

 

[airgelaal]

when he says that he killed dozens of Arabs which was certainly his job but it doesn't fit the image of an innocent victim.

That's not why at all.
It's just not smart. Besides, soldiers don't behave like that.

 

[Simone411]

That's not why at all.
It's just not smart. Besides, soldiers don't behave like that.

No, I've seen some behave way worse than you can imagine. At least worse than anything Harry has ever done, veterans that is:

Over 80 of those charged in the January 6 investigation have ties to the military

At least 81 of the more than 700 individuals accused of participating in the Capitol attack are current or former service members.

www.cbsnews.com

 

[airgelaal]

No, I've seen some behave way worse than you can imagine. At least worse than anything Harry has ever done, veterans that is:

Over 80 of those charged in the January 6 investigation have ties to the military

At least 81 of the more than 700 individuals accused of participating in the Capitol attack are current or former service members.

www.cbsnews.com

I don't think Harry wanted to be ranked among the bad soldiers. He seems to be proud of his military background
Unfortunately, I know very well how bad soldiers behave.

 

[Daba]

To force Harry and Meghan to choose between staying with their son or coming to the Coronation.

It’s not quite as simple as a grandparent working on a grandchild’s birthday.

It’s more like your parent who lives away choosing to remarry with an “adult only wedding” on your kid’s birthday.

This date is forcing Harry (in particular) to choose.

I hope Harry and Meghan don’t go.

Do you really think that Kings (or Presidents) can do everything they want just because they are Kings? It's so naive to think so. Unfortunately they have duties that are more important than their families. Kings do what they have to, not what they want.
P. S. Forgive me my grammar mistakes and spelling, I am not native speaker.

 

[Cachoo]

Look I have no problem with Harry but this birthday complaint is so much ado about nothing. Birthday celebrations are moved all of the time especially for someone that young.

 

[taf2002]

Harry has had years of hurt without anyone even acknowledging it. This oversharing book seems to be a cry for someone, anyone to say yes, it happened & we're sorry. But he's not going to get anything out of these cold fish.

I think it's outrageous for a father to use the term spare even jokingly. Something like that would make me struggle with my self-worth. And being willing to lie, leak, or overlook injustice regarding news stories esp about your own child is despicable. I think always protecting William & never Harry has taken a toll on both of them & the same situation re Charles/Andrew did no one any good. Both Charles & William seem to be overly entitled, narcissist, & petulant.

But I'm not defending Harry or the book. He's just made matters worse.

 

[Karen-W]

Harry has had years of hurt without anyone even acknowledging it. This oversharing book seems to be a cry for someone, anyone to say yes, it happened & we're sorry. But he's not going to get anything out of these cold fish.

That seems like a pretty broad assumption given that Harry has, multiple times in the past, credited his brother with helping him get into therapy in his 20s....

 

[taf2002]

That seems like a pretty broad assumption given that Harry has, multiple times in the past, credited his brother with helping him get into therapy in his 20s....

Yes he did. But it obviously didn't take.

 

[Karen-W]

Yes he did. But it obviously didn't take.

But you said, and I'll quote you again...

Harry has had years of hurt without anyone even acknowledging it.

I'm challenging you on the assertion that Harry has had "years of hurt" without acknowledgment by anyone. That is, factually, untrue. Harry has been quite open about WILLIAM, his own brother, recognizing the hurt and pain Harry was suffering, and helping him get into therapy. So, while whatever therapy he had "didn't take", it is simply untrue to state that it has never been acknowledged or addressed by anyone, and specifically William, someone he was, inarguably, once extremely close to.

 

[MsZem]

I think it's pretty clear at this point that Harry would benefit from additional therapy, preferably from someone he hasn't worked with before.

 

[taf2002]

But you said, and I'll quote you again...

I'm challenging you on the assertion that Harry has had "years of hurt" without acknowledgment by anyone. That is, factually, untrue. Harry has been quite open about WILLIAM, his own brother, recognizing the hurt and pain Harry was suffering, and helping him get into therapy. So, while whatever therapy he had "didn't take", it is simply untrue to state that it has never been acknowledged or addressed by anyone, and specifically William, someone he was, inarguably, once extremely close to.

Yes, I shouldn't have implied that none of them were acknowledged. But don't you think that other hurts really happened or Harry at least perceived them that way that he never shared with William? Both of my parents hurt me many times that I never told anyone when I was a child. Like my mother pulling my braids as punishment. At age 10 I asked for a short haircut so she couldn't do that anymore. When I brought it up probably in my 40s she denied it ever happened. Or when she slapped me on the face & never apologized. Apparently that never happened either.

Do you think being called a spare was one of the things he told William? Did he tell William he resented being blamed for things that William did? I think these are the kinds of things kids suppress.

 

[Karen-W]

Yes, I shouldn't have implied that none of them were acknowledged. But don't you think that other hurts really happened or Harry at least perceived them that way that he never shared with William? Both of my parents hurt me many times that I never told anyone when I was a child. Like my mother pulling my braids as punishment. At age 10 I asked for a short haircut so she couldn't do that anymore. When I brought it up probably in my 40s she denied it ever happened. Or when she slapped me on the face & never apologized. Apparently that never happened either.

Do you think being called a spare was one of the things he told William? Did he tell William he resented being blamed for things that William did? I think these are the kinds of things kids suppress.

What I think is that anything Harry says or claims has to be taken with a massive grain of salt, given the propensity he and Meghan have demonstrated over the last three years to present narratives that only shade them in a positive light with zero degree of awareness of how they may have contributed to any of the problems. Basically, I can't take anything that Harry says at face value, which causes me to dismiss his assertions that his hurts and pains were never acknowledged by any of his family. I don't doubt that he had times when he was quite hurt or damaged, but I also don't think that he's basically been gaslighted by his father or brother.

 

[taf2002]

None of us will ever know.

 

[MacMadame]

Look I have no problem with Harry but this birthday complaint is so much ado about nothing. Birthday celebrations are moved all of the time especially for someone that young.

Not only that, it's not even coming from H&M.

Yes he did. But it obviously didn't take.

We don't actually know that because we don't know what he would have been like if he hadn't gotten therapy. Maybe he'd be much worse.

I am reminded of someone I met at a part that was full of people who had done EST (which morphed into Landmark at some point) and this extremely obnoxious dude came up to me and raved about EST and said how much it had improved his personality/behavior. I kept from laughing but then someone else said he wasn't lying. He may be obnoxious now but you should have seen him before!

I don't doubt that he had times when he was quite hurt or damaged, but I also don't think that he's basically been gaslighted by his father or brother.

I don't think gaslighting is the same as not being acknowledged. Gaslighting is what @taf2002 experienced -- that never happened! Not acknowledging is more like "oh I was only joking" (i.e., calling Harry 'the spare") or "it's not that bad/suck it up" or "everyone in the family has to go through this because we're royals". All of which we've hard the BRF say to/about someone in the family at least once.

 

[Andora]

Sorry - did Harry himself complain about the coronation happening on Archie's birthday? If it's just conjecture as I expect, then I don't think they're that upset about one day. But it isn't one day. The anniversary of Charles' coronation will always be on Archie's birthday going forward. This isn't a one-time deal, necessarily. But in the UK, Archie's birthday will always be second-tier in his Dad's family. That kinda sucks.

Otherwise... Harry's stupidity in the book hasn't really changed my opinion on the whole shebang. Harry was always the wild card, in trouble the most, careless and thoughtless as a young adult. I've said before and I maintain: he was never going to be happy within the confines of the Royal Family. He's way too much like his mother, and he was never going to be able happy just being rich and trotted out for events. Good for him for getting out.

Again, I understand that a lot of what he's saying and doing is ridiculous to many. I think most people who have issues with Harry come from stable families, or at least had one parent/a few family members who made them feel valued, important, safe, and seen. For those of us who didn't have that growing up, a lot of Harry's actions are... somewhat relatable, though that's certainly a strong word.

It continually blows my mind his detractors have so little empathy or understanding for him-- or more correctly, seem to buy into the stupid circus that is the british monarchy without question. I don't even mean claims the "Firm" leaks stories and had it out for H&M, I mean their very existence and choices made to serve the firm in the first place. All in the name of tradition and a serious abuse of the word "duty." What duty does this family actually perform? Walking around waving? Showing up to charity events and doing very little but smile and nod earnestly for cameras? It's rare they actually DO anything but they're given so much leeway because that's just how it is. I find that pretty ignorant and ridiculous. If Harry has to make himself look worse in order to take that whole institution down a peg or five, I am HERE FOR IT.

 

[airgelaal]

Do you think being called a spare was one of the things he told William?

He named him heir. Do you think it's much easier mentally?

I am not saying that this is good and there is nothing wrong with suffering. But it seems to me that he still does not understand the level of pressure on his brother as an heir and believes that it was worse for him simply because he was a spare. And he is angry with his brother also because he is sure that it was easier for him.
If Harry and Will were given 2 identical candies, then Harry would either be sure that his brother's candy still tastes better. Or he would have thought that they wanted to give his brother a tastier candy, but out of pity for Harry they gave the same ones. In all the quotes, it is noticeable that Harry is looking for a double meaning everywhere. I don't believe that everyone has always been so biased towards him.

 

[matti]

There's a sucker born every minute.

Harry and Meghan are jealous and narcissists.

But they are laughing all the way to the bank.

 

[Karen-W]

If Harry and Will were given 2 identical candies, then Harry would either be sure that his brother's candy still tastes better. Or he would have thought that they wanted to give his brother a tastier candy, but out of pity for Harry they gave the same ones. In all the quotes, it is noticeable that Harry is looking for a double meaning everywhere. I don't believe that everyone has always been so biased towards him.

And he proves your point in one of the excerpts from the book where he relates the first visit he and Meghan made to the Cambridge apartment at Kensington Palace after their wedding. Meghan was apparently saying "wow" at every corner as she saw more precious artwork and antiques furnishing Will & Kate's home, and then Harry compared it to their residence in Nottingham Cottage with the Ikea sofa purchased with Meghan's credit card.

Did he completely forget that Will & Kate actually started out with Nottingham Cottage as their London residence and they were still living there when George was born? Did he purge from his memory how Will & Kate must have had similar, simpler furnishings in the small Nottingham Cottage residence and only got access to the nicer stuff once the Kensington Palace apartment renovation was complete?

He really does seem to be looking for offense or, at minimum, lesser treatment on the part of "The Firm" toward him as the spare vs. William the heir.

 

[marbri]

Sorry - did Harry himself complain about the coronation happening on Archie's birthday? If it's just conjecture as I expect, then I don't think they're that upset about one day. But it isn't one day. The anniversary of Charles' coronation will always be on Archie's birthday going forward. This isn't a one-time deal, necessarily. But in the UK, Archie's birthday will always be second-tier in his Dad's family. That kinda sucks.

Otherwise... Harry's stupidity in the book hasn't really changed my opinion on the whole shebang. Harry was always the wild card, in trouble the most, careless and thoughtless as a young adult. I've said before and I maintain: he was never going to be happy within the confines of the Royal Family. He's way too much like his mother, and he was never going to be able happy just being rich and trotted out for events. Good for him for getting out.

Again, I understand that a lot of what he's saying and doing is ridiculous to many. I think most people who have issues with Harry come from stable families, or at least had one parent/a few family members who made them feel valued, important, safe, and seen. For those of us who didn't have that growing up, a lot of Harry's actions are... somewhat relatable, though that's certainly a strong word.

It continually blows my mind his detractors have so little empathy or understanding for him-- or more correctly, seem to buy into the stupid circus that is the british monarchy without question. I don't even mean claims the "Firm" leaks stories and had it out for H&M, I mean their very existence and choices made to serve the firm in the first place. All in the name of tradition and a serious abuse of the word "duty." What duty does this family actually perform? Walking around waving? Showing up to charity events and doing very little but smile and nod earnestly for cameras? It's rare they actually DO anything but they're given so much leeway because that's just how it is. I find that pretty ignorant and ridiculous. If Harry has to make himself look worse in order to take that whole institution down a peg or five, I am HERE FOR IT.

at the notion Harry (and Meghan) want nothing to do with the BRF, the institution or the perks that come with it. Seems to me they just wanted to negotiate a new way of doing things that rubbed others the wrong way. Change is good and all that but 3 years of H&M inside the firm is a nanosecond in a centuries old institution. Sometimes you need to sit back, bide your time and then make your move. This was all happening when the Queen was still alive, you'd have to wait until at least her death to really start pushing things.

And there is nothing unique about this in family businesses. I know personally three very successful family businesses involving a fair bit of $$$ that all dissolved when relationships broke down. And in each one of them I can trace it to a seed of sibling rivalry or drama between the SIL's. And my two cents is that Meghan walking in and seeing how different things were for the heir to the throne versus her husband reignited Harry's jealousies and insecurities about his position to the point he started seeing things through her eyes and was "you're right, this shit is insane".

At the end of the day, when you remove the crowns and tiaras, this is really just the story of another family business affected by family jealousies and insecurities and slights and grudges (both real and imagined). Each side might try to influence us by dangling gossip and innuendo to distract us from the real issue, or what I think is the real issue.

What I don't think is that one brother is worse than the other (eta well after this book I have to be honest and say this no longer holds). And I don't get how some people excuse everything Harry does or says based on his mothers death when that also happened to his brother. The only difference I see is that Harry still has a 12 year olds idealic image of his mother whereas at 15 William was probably a bit more aware both his parents were ****ed up.

 

[Prancer]

We don't see much resemblance physically but I really think he has a lot of his mother's character. Unfortunately, we tend to pity women more than men. While Diana won the hearts of the people

Yes, but I think also no. Didn't Diana's public image also take a real hit when it was revealed that she was behind the Morton book and even more so when she did the infamous interview with Panorama?

What would Diana's image be now if she hadn't died so young? Of course, no one can know the answer to that.

I don't know that Harry is all Diana, either. Isn't Charles known to be quite peevish and insecure?

He's way too much like his mother, and he was never going to be able happy just being rich and trotted out for events. Good for him for getting out.

But what did Diana do besides be rich and show up for events? What does Harry do besides be rich and show up for events?

And yes, I am aware that Diana brought awareness to different causes--but so does the royal family. That's part of the deal for them, isn't it--showing up at events to bring awareness to causes? Earning their keep by doing public good?

I think most people who have issues with Harry come from stable families, or at least had one parent/a few family members who made them feel valued, important, safe, and seen. For those of us who didn't have that growing up, a lot of Harry's actions are... somewhat relatable, though that's certainly a strong word.

Yes, there does seem to be a lot of projection going on in the responses people have to the whole soap opera. But that has always been true of celebrities.

 

[Oreo]

The Telegraph had a good column (can't link to it, sorry!) titled "Someone needs to tell Harry he's not the only one dealing with famous family dynamics; it's a different type of tough coming from privilege"...
"Wherever there’s an eldest and a middle one, there’s a potential Harry (or Harriet). Wherever there’s an eldest and a middle one and that eldest stands to inherit the family business/follow in their father’s footsteps, there’s a simmering Harry. Wherever there’s a famous, wealthy or successful parent there’s probably a child of that parent who finds it an impossible burden." The columnist continues with examples of Paul Newman's son, Scott, who overdosed; Brooklyn Beckham whose greatest claim to fame is making a G&T on Instagram...
"Then there’s Stella McCartney, daughter of the most famous musician in the world, who lost her mum to cancer when she was 26 and yet has managed to have a happy and successful life on her own terms....Families come in all shapes and sizes, but whether you succumb to bitterness and recrimination is, it turns out, a choice."

 

[Winnipeg]

I guess all of this proves money cannot buy happiness.

I heard on a tv review that the book paints William in an unfavorable light, e.g., loses temper easily, hung over at this wedding, aggressive, mean, etc etc. He sure does not come across that way when I have seen him in public venues.

 

[Winnipeg]

My guess is that this book will burn the last bridge to the ground

 

[Barbara Manatee]

Again, I understand that a lot of what he's saying and doing is ridiculous to many. I think most people who have issues with Harry come from stable families, or at least had one parent/a few family members who made them feel valued, important, safe, and seen. For those of us who didn't have that growing up, a lot of Harry's actions are... somewhat relatable, though that's certainly a strong word.

There are also families who do everything they can think of to show love, empathy, and understanding to a child but they still grow into troubled, resentful people. I do not know where Harry's demons come from but I think that despite having his own loving family now, he's still feeding them more than exorcising them.

 

[Winnipeg]

BTW, the thing about the birthday.............I find that really quite rubbish and very immature (sorry) ..........his birthday will always be special to Archie and his family. What about kids who are born on December 25 or 31..........or any other such day and heaven forbid getting born on February 29th!!!

 

[Husky]

At first I thought it's a joke but it looks like it's true that Harry lived with Ikea furniture and that he was jelaous of William.

Then again, couldn't he buy himself more expensive and stylish furniture? Ask for some precious paintings from the family heritage? What held him back? Why did he use Meghan's credit card to order at a discounter? He must have had a certain budget every month, right? And even if he had no budget, he had inherited part of his mother's fortune. Something is deeply wrong here.