Parents must be willing to crush athletic dreams to protect their kids
I've been somewhat wondering what I would do to change the culture if I was in charge. One
thing that came to mind was the parents - they seemingly have been left out of the equation so far, and I think it's wrong.
Now, please don't mistake me - I don't think that any parent should feel guilty regarding what Nassar did, that is definitely not what I'm saying. But one example came to mind: the women's 1996 Olympic bronze medalist on the 3m springboard had started in gymnastics, but after watching his daughter fight injury after injury, her father pulled her out of the sport because he didn't think it was a safe sport, and suggested she went into diving instead. Apparently, she was mad at him for months before ultimately trying diving.
I've thought of it myself and I'm sure that had my own father noticed anything unhealthy about an activity I was doing, or that I was not doing well, he would have pulled me out (and in fact he did pull me out of a sport once for a year for health reasons - nothing to do with abuse). However my father had had struggles in his own childhood and I know it would have made him very aware of the middle to long term consequences. There were also several instances where I was uncomfortable or afraid when I was young, but not always able to verbalize it well yet, and I'm so thankful that my parents never insist that I did this or that, or that I kept going to lessons I was scared of "just because you have to learn to finish what you started" (and it certainly made no difference in my ability to commit and persist to reach my goals later in life). I understand other parents may not share the same thinking and/or have good intentions but just get caught up into something they weren't well prepared for and only realized what was going on after their daughter devoted thousands of hours to the sport, at a point where they don't want to be the ones risking their daughter to lose everything.
I'm obviously not saying all parents should take their daughters out of gymnastics. I also understand that gymnasts probably fear talking to their parents precisely because they wouldn't want them to take them out of the sport. But IMO, there is never a good reason for coaches or "coordinators" to yell, verbally abuse and denigrate athletes, and especially not minors. It should never become normality. Parents should never tolerate something like that.
Everyone should be watchdogs in my opinion: federations, coaches and parents, plus all these people should work to build trust with the gymnasts so that they know they have someone to talk to if there is a problem. This way, if there is one broken link in the chain, there should be enough remaining to ensure that no unhealthy situation will last forever.
I've been somewhat wondering what I would do to change the culture if I was in charge. One
thing that came to mind was the parents - they seemingly have been left out of the equation so far, and I think it's wrong.
Now, please don't mistake me - I don't think that any parent should feel guilty regarding what Nassar did, that is definitely not what I'm saying. But one example came to mind: the women's 1996 Olympic bronze medalist on the 3m springboard had started in gymnastics, but after watching his daughter fight injury after injury, her father pulled her out of the sport because he didn't think it was a safe sport, and suggested she went into diving instead. Apparently, she was mad at him for months before ultimately trying diving.
I've thought of it myself and I'm sure that had my own father noticed anything unhealthy about an activity I was doing, or that I was not doing well, he would have pulled me out (and in fact he did pull me out of a sport once for a year for health reasons - nothing to do with abuse). However my father had had struggles in his own childhood and I know it would have made him very aware of the middle to long term consequences. There were also several instances where I was uncomfortable or afraid when I was young, but not always able to verbalize it well yet, and I'm so thankful that my parents never insist that I did this or that, or that I kept going to lessons I was scared of "just because you have to learn to finish what you started" (and it certainly made no difference in my ability to commit and persist to reach my goals later in life). I understand other parents may not share the same thinking and/or have good intentions but just get caught up into something they weren't well prepared for and only realized what was going on after their daughter devoted thousands of hours to the sport, at a point where they don't want to be the ones risking their daughter to lose everything.
I'm obviously not saying all parents should take their daughters out of gymnastics. I also understand that gymnasts probably fear talking to their parents precisely because they wouldn't want them to take them out of the sport. But IMO, there is never a good reason for coaches or "coordinators" to yell, verbally abuse and denigrate athletes, and especially not minors. It should never become normality. Parents should never tolerate something like that.
Everyone should be watchdogs in my opinion: federations, coaches and parents, plus all these people should work to build trust with the gymnasts so that they know they have someone to talk to if there is a problem. This way, if there is one broken link in the chain, there should be enough remaining to ensure that no unhealthy situation will last forever.
