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Elena Vaytsekhovskaya's interview with Anna Pogorilaya for ria.ru
(please click the original article....)
EV: In the time that had passed since the Nationals which you did not participate I received numerous emails with the question where is Anna? When will she come back? When will she skate again?
AP: I received such emails all the time. I really want to skate. Frankly, I even went on the ice, but all I could do was just gliding and the basic spins. Even after such a practice my back hurt. It's a constant unbearable pain. When I lie down or swim it becomes better, but I can't really spend all the time flat or swimming.
EV: Are there any improvements in the treatment?
AP: No. I am not even yet diagnozed. One doctor says one thing, another - another, third - something else. The doctor I went to in Germany found an old injury. Said 4 years ago I broke my spine at the upper part. But the pain is not there. It's my lower back that hurts, hence the muscles are inflamed and it spreads on the whole back. I can't bend at all. In the Russian Cup in Yoshkar Ola I did a layback spin and in the end had to withdrow from the LP. Things were so bad that the coach had to help me undress and give me injections so I could move a bit. Then when we went to the GP in Canada I decided to sacrifice the spin and make an easier one with a lower level. I hoped it would allow me to be semi-decent in the LP. But the back still hurt and the LP was a disaster.
EV: When I was planning a talk with you I didn't think I'll gather a courage to ask what did you feel when deciding to give up the Olympics. But it seems it was really a relief?
AP: It was in the books. This season was mentally hard. In August we were getting more and more in shape. At some point I was doing 6 runthroughs in the morning and 6 in the evening. In one practice. Perhaps even more, I don't remember. But mentally I was off at that time. The first two run throughts I was trying to do to the top of my ability, be focused and concentrated, but then I would make mistakes. And at the same time I was pushed all the time: get up!!! get up!!! I was first crying when something went wrong, but then at some point I started laughing. Hysterically. I realized it was wrong, but I couldn't change a thing by then.
EV: I.e. you felt you were overloaded and yet you kept going?
AP: Yes, I was hoping and keeping it till the very last moment. I was chasing away the thoughts all these little girls are stronger and I have an ill back. That you can't even skate for 2 weeks in a row because your back will hurt, but how do you do a layback?
EV: When the last season you failed the Worlds some coaches were explaining it for a huge competitive stress which you couldn't take.
AP: You know what, if you tell a person every day he is stupid he'll become stupid. I was told daily am hysterical, even though am not at all in the real life. When I told the German doctor about my reactions he was quite surprised. He said `you suffer a terrible back pain all the time, of course you are nervous, it's quite normal'
EV: In the GP in Canada you and your coach Anna Tsareva looked as if you were having a fight of tour life and will never speak again.
AP: It's a usual. In the past when something didn't work it was all thunders and lights... It's just hard not to give in to your emotions when you are in pain all the time. I understand perfectly well how much the coach counted on me, that she had so many hopes hence she was so upset. We are in a good terms again, happy to see each other and talk a lot.
EV: And what have you decided? You'll become better and go back to training?
AP: It's a tough question whether I'll become better. I really want to and to skate again. I didn't throw the skates away, I actually have 2 pairs of new boots. Just that right now I don't really understand what to do about my back. The usual physio and massages are not helping anymore.
EV: Were there thoughts to be hospitalized?
AP: We tried. It was decided I would come for the treatment and go back home. But they got something confused at the reception and I was told to register, then to check in my stuff and when all was done the nurse asked me where are my shoes. At that moment I was really afraid that I'll never get out, it was like getting into a prison. Fortunately it was fast figured it was a mistake. The doctor, a fun dude was asking before whether we can get married right now, so he approached again and asked a shame we got it all mixed up and you are not in our department.
EV: Were you following the Nationals in St. Petersburg?
AP: Partly. I was not really following the results, but when opened the instagram I saw who finished where.
EV: Were there any thoughts about what is going on with the Russian ladies skating?
AP: More like just registered at the back of my mind the skating became less feminine. It is not as important anymore. On the other hand I didn't really think about it.
EV: It was probably hard training every day sharing the ice not only with Medvedeva and Zagitova, but a smaller girls who are chasing you?
AP: We hardly ever saw each other on the ice. You must be able to adapt - my coach keeps repeating. And I agree with her. If my back should be ok am sure I can come back and skate. Getting the jumps back should not be a problem.
EV: But there is a chance there will be no other Olympics in your life.
AP: So? Think it should be taken easier.
EV: Agree, just that it doesn't work that way. More than that, if you don't retire the Olympics in the sport are a highlight of your career. During the nationals I was talking to Evgenia Tarasova, who said she is willing to climb that mountain even if she would be completely broken. That she is willing to suffer whatever it takes.
AP: And what, I wonder, will happen to the athlete after, if as broken as they are they will remain disabled after the Olympics? Yes, the Olympics are the highlight and it even opens some doors. Just that not so many can find their way after the Olympics in real life.
EV: Not long ago the Olympic champion Sikharulidze was asked why did he retire so early even though he could have skated for many years. He said he didn't want to prolong the agony: at some point he would have to start a new life and the later the person retires the harder that moment would be. I guess he is right. I know many female skaters give up having children in order to keep skating. When they slow down it's too late.
AP: Guess it can be explained: people are trying to get back into those times when they were the winners and feel that drive again. Hence a lot are unable to stop. Though each has a different destiny.
EV: Do you imagine your life after the sports?
AP: Not yet. I certainly plan to have children. For a woman, I think, it's one of the main goals.
EV: You grew up a lot recently.
AP: Guess it's just that I was always more in touch with the adults, since the school. When all my classmates went somewhere I would stay in some extra lessons. It was interesting talking to the literature or history teachers. Guess they liked talking to me as well. Perhaps now it's just such a time when I can see things from the outside. When you change the perspective it's easier to understand how the things should be done. When you are involved it's hard to make a right decision. Though it's hard to say which decision is right or wrong.
EV: What about the shows? Would you participate them?
AP: All that new year's stuff- now. As for the serious ones- I participated the Art on Ice in Switzerland and Japan. I loved both. Just that now, after missing the whole year no one would invite some Anna Pogorilaya from the last season. There are other stars.
EV: If it will turn out you can't skate anymore what will you do.
AP: I didn't even think about it. What do you mean - I won't be able to skate. I think we'll find a solution in the end.
EV: I don't get it, you want to come back so badly because you love skating or back in your mind you want to win what you haven't won yet?
AP: I feel I can do more, I want to do more, I want to recover not even as an athlete, but mentally.
EV: Aren't you afraid even if you recover and come back the ladies skating will become different by then?
AP: Well, am not living under a rock, I know what is going on, so no.
EV: What if you have seen the little girls were landing the quads in the Nationals? Would you reconsider?
AP: But I do see the little girls landing those jumps. It's temporary while they are small and thin. Hence am not worried. It's a rare if a girl makes it through the puberty. And that doesn't happen there is something wrong with her body and it will happen later and even worse.
EV: Is that why you like Carolina Kostner so much?
AP: Yes.
EV: What do you think when you see her skating?
AP: That the ladies skating still has a chance.
(please click the original article....)
EV: In the time that had passed since the Nationals which you did not participate I received numerous emails with the question where is Anna? When will she come back? When will she skate again?
AP: I received such emails all the time. I really want to skate. Frankly, I even went on the ice, but all I could do was just gliding and the basic spins. Even after such a practice my back hurt. It's a constant unbearable pain. When I lie down or swim it becomes better, but I can't really spend all the time flat or swimming.
EV: Are there any improvements in the treatment?
AP: No. I am not even yet diagnozed. One doctor says one thing, another - another, third - something else. The doctor I went to in Germany found an old injury. Said 4 years ago I broke my spine at the upper part. But the pain is not there. It's my lower back that hurts, hence the muscles are inflamed and it spreads on the whole back. I can't bend at all. In the Russian Cup in Yoshkar Ola I did a layback spin and in the end had to withdrow from the LP. Things were so bad that the coach had to help me undress and give me injections so I could move a bit. Then when we went to the GP in Canada I decided to sacrifice the spin and make an easier one with a lower level. I hoped it would allow me to be semi-decent in the LP. But the back still hurt and the LP was a disaster.
EV: When I was planning a talk with you I didn't think I'll gather a courage to ask what did you feel when deciding to give up the Olympics. But it seems it was really a relief?
AP: It was in the books. This season was mentally hard. In August we were getting more and more in shape. At some point I was doing 6 runthroughs in the morning and 6 in the evening. In one practice. Perhaps even more, I don't remember. But mentally I was off at that time. The first two run throughts I was trying to do to the top of my ability, be focused and concentrated, but then I would make mistakes. And at the same time I was pushed all the time: get up!!! get up!!! I was first crying when something went wrong, but then at some point I started laughing. Hysterically. I realized it was wrong, but I couldn't change a thing by then.
EV: I.e. you felt you were overloaded and yet you kept going?
AP: Yes, I was hoping and keeping it till the very last moment. I was chasing away the thoughts all these little girls are stronger and I have an ill back. That you can't even skate for 2 weeks in a row because your back will hurt, but how do you do a layback?
EV: When the last season you failed the Worlds some coaches were explaining it for a huge competitive stress which you couldn't take.
AP: You know what, if you tell a person every day he is stupid he'll become stupid. I was told daily am hysterical, even though am not at all in the real life. When I told the German doctor about my reactions he was quite surprised. He said `you suffer a terrible back pain all the time, of course you are nervous, it's quite normal'
EV: In the GP in Canada you and your coach Anna Tsareva looked as if you were having a fight of tour life and will never speak again.
AP: It's a usual. In the past when something didn't work it was all thunders and lights... It's just hard not to give in to your emotions when you are in pain all the time. I understand perfectly well how much the coach counted on me, that she had so many hopes hence she was so upset. We are in a good terms again, happy to see each other and talk a lot.
EV: And what have you decided? You'll become better and go back to training?
AP: It's a tough question whether I'll become better. I really want to and to skate again. I didn't throw the skates away, I actually have 2 pairs of new boots. Just that right now I don't really understand what to do about my back. The usual physio and massages are not helping anymore.
EV: Were there thoughts to be hospitalized?
AP: We tried. It was decided I would come for the treatment and go back home. But they got something confused at the reception and I was told to register, then to check in my stuff and when all was done the nurse asked me where are my shoes. At that moment I was really afraid that I'll never get out, it was like getting into a prison. Fortunately it was fast figured it was a mistake. The doctor, a fun dude was asking before whether we can get married right now, so he approached again and asked a shame we got it all mixed up and you are not in our department.
EV: Were you following the Nationals in St. Petersburg?
AP: Partly. I was not really following the results, but when opened the instagram I saw who finished where.
EV: Were there any thoughts about what is going on with the Russian ladies skating?
AP: More like just registered at the back of my mind the skating became less feminine. It is not as important anymore. On the other hand I didn't really think about it.
EV: It was probably hard training every day sharing the ice not only with Medvedeva and Zagitova, but a smaller girls who are chasing you?
AP: We hardly ever saw each other on the ice. You must be able to adapt - my coach keeps repeating. And I agree with her. If my back should be ok am sure I can come back and skate. Getting the jumps back should not be a problem.
EV: But there is a chance there will be no other Olympics in your life.
AP: So? Think it should be taken easier.
EV: Agree, just that it doesn't work that way. More than that, if you don't retire the Olympics in the sport are a highlight of your career. During the nationals I was talking to Evgenia Tarasova, who said she is willing to climb that mountain even if she would be completely broken. That she is willing to suffer whatever it takes.
AP: And what, I wonder, will happen to the athlete after, if as broken as they are they will remain disabled after the Olympics? Yes, the Olympics are the highlight and it even opens some doors. Just that not so many can find their way after the Olympics in real life.
EV: Not long ago the Olympic champion Sikharulidze was asked why did he retire so early even though he could have skated for many years. He said he didn't want to prolong the agony: at some point he would have to start a new life and the later the person retires the harder that moment would be. I guess he is right. I know many female skaters give up having children in order to keep skating. When they slow down it's too late.
AP: Guess it can be explained: people are trying to get back into those times when they were the winners and feel that drive again. Hence a lot are unable to stop. Though each has a different destiny.
EV: Do you imagine your life after the sports?
AP: Not yet. I certainly plan to have children. For a woman, I think, it's one of the main goals.
EV: You grew up a lot recently.
AP: Guess it's just that I was always more in touch with the adults, since the school. When all my classmates went somewhere I would stay in some extra lessons. It was interesting talking to the literature or history teachers. Guess they liked talking to me as well. Perhaps now it's just such a time when I can see things from the outside. When you change the perspective it's easier to understand how the things should be done. When you are involved it's hard to make a right decision. Though it's hard to say which decision is right or wrong.
EV: What about the shows? Would you participate them?
AP: All that new year's stuff- now. As for the serious ones- I participated the Art on Ice in Switzerland and Japan. I loved both. Just that now, after missing the whole year no one would invite some Anna Pogorilaya from the last season. There are other stars.
EV: If it will turn out you can't skate anymore what will you do.
AP: I didn't even think about it. What do you mean - I won't be able to skate. I think we'll find a solution in the end.
EV: I don't get it, you want to come back so badly because you love skating or back in your mind you want to win what you haven't won yet?
AP: I feel I can do more, I want to do more, I want to recover not even as an athlete, but mentally.
EV: Aren't you afraid even if you recover and come back the ladies skating will become different by then?
AP: Well, am not living under a rock, I know what is going on, so no.
EV: What if you have seen the little girls were landing the quads in the Nationals? Would you reconsider?
AP: But I do see the little girls landing those jumps. It's temporary while they are small and thin. Hence am not worried. It's a rare if a girl makes it through the puberty. And that doesn't happen there is something wrong with her body and it will happen later and even worse.
EV: Is that why you like Carolina Kostner so much?
AP: Yes.
EV: What do you think when you see her skating?
AP: That the ladies skating still has a chance.
I’m a huge, HUGE fan of Anna’s. The post you are referring to, I was using the sulking around the ice as an example of when the skater really let the performance go PCS-wise because we don’t typically see such a drastic difference from competition to competition and that was the question being asked. 
å
That sounds awful. I hope she can get treated successfully. 
