The Rise of the Trauma Essay in College Applications

[GarrAargHrumph]

And then there's the students who have done all the clubs, volunteering, AP classes, etc but have gotten no joy or learning out of any of them, because they've been told that they "have" to do those things to get into a good college.

It's not about doing all the clubs, etc. It's about doing something meaningful to you, which you can talk about. Especially for the elite level US unis, it's about focus, not breadth. Showing real devotion and interest in something - be it an activity, a cause, an academic interest, what have you. But doing tons of clubs and etc. just for the sake of doing tons of clubs isn't going to get students into anywhere.

Likewise, the idea of a "well rounded student" - not necessarily going to help in terms of college admissions. Total myth that you need to be well rounded, as students tend to interpret those words.

 

[overedge]

It's not about doing all the clubs, etc. It's about doing something meaningful to you, which you can talk about. Especially for the elite level US unis, it's about focus, not breadth. Showing real devotion and interest in something - be it an activity, a cause, an academic interest, what have you. But doing tons of clubs and etc. just for the sake of doing tons of clubs isn't going to get students into anywhere.

That's my point, though. Students are told that they have to show involvement, commitment, service to the community etc, and IME more than a few of them are told the way to show that is to do a lot of activities. Whether they actually enjoy them or make any contribution by doing them is less important than being able to put them on their resume.

And not only that, it's also important to show leadership. It's not enough just to be in a club, you have to be on the executive and have a title - even if you would be more valuable to the club doing something else. It's credentialism run amok, and it's not healthy IMO.

 

[manhn]

Fans complain that judges too readily give high scores to skaters that cram a lot of tricks into their programs, even if they are performed with subpar quality. Why should students believe schools somehow can decipher that students express authentic passion for whatever? Might as well focus on quantity.

 

[Vagabond]

Why should students believe schools somehow can decipher that students express authentic passion for whatever?

1. Highly selective universities and colleges have more qualified applicants than they can admit, and having a leadership role in a bunch of extracurricular activities isn't going to make the candidate stand out. (The same can be said of high scores on standardized tests.)
2. Admissions committees will review applicants' essays and interviewers' reports to see if they are particularly passionate about anything.

 

[Prancer]

1. Highly selective universities and colleges have more qualified applicants than they can admit, and having a leadership role in a bunch of extracurricular activities isn't going to make the candidate stand out. (The same can be said of high scores on standardized tests.)

But first you have to clear that very high bar.

 

[Vagabond]

But first you have to clear that very high bar.

True.

I suspect, however, that at less selective institutions, focusing on quantity doesn't hurt.

 

[Theatregirl1122]

In general, I feel like most of my students who are doing a lot of things are struggling more with the fact that they like a lot of things and can't choose than with the belief that they have to do all those things for college.

For example, I have a student who loves both band and robotics, and she's struggling with the fact that she can't do all the band things she wants and make the time commitment to robotics.

 

[MacMadame]

In general, I feel like most of my students who are doing a lot of things are struggling more with the fact that they like a lot of things and can't choose than with the belief that they have to do all those things for college.

For the students I know, the pressure isn't to join the clubs but that they know they have to somehow demonstrate "leadership" when it comes to these clubs. Most think that means being an officer and not everyone wants to do that.

Of course, there are those kids who would never join a club naturally who do feel some pressure to do that if they are college bound but that's a different issue from joining a bazillion and having time management issues.

 

[my little pony]

my god daughter is going into her junior year. she is 2nd in her class, she's in student council, her test scores are good etc. they lost their business a while ago and have exactly $3.00 to their name. neither parent went to college. her brother is in the same grade and she is very stressed out about not getting enough financial aid. now im worried that if she had an essay question, her default answer might be talking about being a transracial adoptee and maybe she would be falling into the pitfalls you describe. her school counselor I think has too many students and her mom hasnt even been able to get an appointment with her to talk about scholarships. is it worth it to hire a service to put her applications together? do they also look for scholarships for people? (also I really see a lucrative side hustle in this for some of you)

 

[Japanfan]

is it worth it to hire a service to put her applications together? do they also look for scholarships for people? (also I really see a lucrative side hustle in this for some of you)

I've worked on many, many applications over the years. It paid okay but I wouldn't call it lucrative since it is an such a labour-intensive and exhausting undertaking. General application stuff isn't too bad, but personal statements are taxing. Rarely have they ever been well-done, even if written by native speakers. I've often spent one hour per 100 words. There are lot of pesky details requiring clarification.

 

[Allskate]

my god daughter is going into her junior year. she is 2nd in her class, she's in student council, her test scores are good etc. they lost their business a while ago and have exactly $3.00 to their name. neither parent went to college. her brother is in the same grade and she is very stressed out about not getting enough financial aid. now im worried that if she had an essay question, her default answer might be talking about being a transracial adoptee and maybe she would be falling into the pitfalls you describe. her school counselor I think has too many students and her mom hasnt even been able to get an appointment with her to talk about scholarships. is it worth it to hire a service to put her applications together? do they also look for scholarships for people? (also I really see a lucrative side hustle in this for some of you)

I understand your god daughter's financial fears because I was similarly worried at that age, but she will feel better if she educates herself about financial aid. It's important that she not get so worried that she spends too much of her time trying to earn money that it interferes with her schoolwork or otherwise negatively impact her chances of getting accepted at a good school. (Some universities may subtract her earnings from her need-based grants anyway.) I'm not saying she shouldn't work at all - and she may feel that she needs to in order to help her parents - but her junior year grades are especially critical. If her parents have so little money and income, she should have no problem qualifying for adequate financial aid, especially if she keeps up her grades and gets good SAT scores. She may want to look into whether any local SAT prep services offer scholarships. She and her parents definitely needs to educate themselves about the FAFSA. Among other things, they should understand how receiving outside scholarships will affect her other financial aid.

The financial aid she gets from universities may include scholarships, but it may be need-based grants. (A lot of top universities don't give scholarships based on academics but instead give only need-based grants.) She needs to be careful about which schools she applies to and chooses and not be blinded by financial "aid" that will leave her very deep in debt and/or with a degree that is not marketable. She should be able to get into a good university where she will not have to take out any private loans and will take out only guaranteed student loans. It seems likely that she will qualify for Pell Grants.

As for the subject of her essay, I'm not sure what "pitfalls" you are describing. If you think the essay would turn off admissions officers, I would not take one person's opinion on an online skating forum to dismiss the idea of writing an essay relating experiences as a trans-racial adoptee. (Note that even the Supreme Court majority in the recent affirmative action case said that it is permissible for universities to take into account the ways in which someone overcame challenges that happen to be related to race. And the video that began this thread seems to indicate that universities do not look down on such essays.) If you think that writing the essay would be psychologically harmful to your god-daughter, then that's a different story. If she doesn't want to discuss her experiences or it would be bad for her psychologically, then she shouldn't. But, if she wants to write about it, especially if it plays a role in her present extra-curricular activities or future plans, I would not dismiss it out of hand. To the extent possible, when the time comes, it would be helpful to get expert opinions on her essay.

 

[MacMadame]

(also I really see a lucrative side hustle in this for some of you)

We used a college coach for Mini-Mac and, yes, it cost quite a bit.

They helped her with her essay from beginning to end -- talked about topics, suggested things to say, edited it once she wrote it, etc. They worked with her on her interview technique. They helped her fill out the entire application, and I believe they gave advice on financial aid. Since she was applying to Musical Theater programs, they also helped her pick material for auditions, gave singing lessons, etc.

She had about 3 different people working with her. It was an entire company that specialized in getting people into Theater schools/programs.

 

[Prancer]

my god daughter is going into her junior year. she is 2nd in her class, she's in student council, her test scores are good etc. they lost their business a while ago and have exactly $3.00 to their name. neither parent went to college. her brother is in the same grade and she is very stressed out about not getting enough financial aid.

Well, she shouldn't be very stressed over this, but it's good to be thinking about such things in advance. If the school doesn't help her (and she should give that a chance), she will have to help herself.

Some things that might be helpful for her starting now that won't cost her a thing:

UStrive: Free, online mentoring helping students with applications, financial aid, and more. There is a subgroup for students who are the first in their families to go to college. And UStrive recently formed a partnership with Common App, so that should mean there is good help with essays.

College Possible: Similar to UStrive, but availability is limited to eight states, so it depends on where she lives.

College Advising Corp: Another nonprofit partnered with Common App, this one for historically marginalized students.

College Essay Guy: Partially free help with college essays.

How to Find and Secure Scholarships for College: Some good advice in this article with links to a lot of scholarship programs. You don't have to wait for the counselor to direct you to scholarships. I think this is excellent advice: Start the process early, apply to many scholarships and follow all the instructions.

US News and World Report Scholarship Finder: This is new, so I have no idea how good it is, but US News does a lot of college-related coverage, so it might be good.

Hope something helps!

 

[barbk]

my god daughter is going into her junior year. she is 2nd in her class, she's in student council, her test scores are good etc. they lost their business a while ago and have exactly $3.00 to their name. neither parent went to college. her brother is in the same grade and she is very stressed out about not getting enough financial aid. now im worried that if she had an essay question, her default answer might be talking about being a transracial adoptee and maybe she would be falling into the pitfalls you describe. her school counselor I think has too many students and her mom hasnt even been able to get an appointment with her to talk about scholarships. is it worth it to hire a service to put her applications together? do they also look for scholarships for people? (also I really see a lucrative side hustle in this for some of you)

"Looking for scholarships" is generally an unproductive approach. The biggest money comes directly from colleges, not outside scholarships! With a low income family and a high-achieving student, I'd be looking at colleges that meet full need -- and including some that are need blind. (Need blind -- they don't consider how much financial aid you need before deciding whether to admit you. Need aware - they do look at that. Carefully.) Unfortunately, there are only about 50 colleges in the US that are both need blind and meet full need. They are also among the toughest admissions -- but if a student is admitted, there will be very little cost.

Since neither parent went to college, and she's a rising junior, I'd also suggest that she apply to Questbridge, Posse, or similar programs. Colleges have special admission paths for Questbridge (and similar program) students. They get a huge boost.

She is also likely eligible for some fly-in programs. These are special weekends where colleges fly in students from underrepresented groups. Being a first generation student (one whose parents did not go to college) can make her eligible for these. I've seen them at quite a few colleges - Grinnell, Pomona, ... Here's a list: https://blog.collegevine.com/college-fly-in-and-diversity-programs-a-complete-list

 

[barbk]

Here's the link to the Questbridge program she can apply for in winter of junior year. I can't say enough good things about this program. https://www.questbridge.org/high-school-students/college-prep-scholars
I've had three students go through Questbridge - one ended up at Northwestern, one at Dartmouth, and the third didn't Questbridge match but was then admitted to one of the colleges she'd identified in the Questbridge match process.

Many local/regional programs are also open to students in specific geographic areas. If you let me know where she's located (town or county) I can look at my resources to see if any programs are listed for her area.

 

[PRlady]

MLP is in Pennsylvania. Where there are also a bunch of smaller good colleges (including a few catholic schools like Villanova) that seek first-gen students. Crossing my fingers for her!

 

[barbk]

MLP is in Pennsylvania. Where there are also a bunch of smaller good colleges (including a few catholic schools like Villanova) that seek first-gen students. Crossing my fingers for her!

Villanova, like many well-known Catholic colleges, actually has relatively poor financial aid. Here's their entry on average net price by family income level as reported on BigFuture.collegeboard.org (the College Board's website for college information). I love Villanova as a college...but not so much their financial aid.

Average Net Price by Household Income​

• <$30k​

  $22,517 per year. <=== This is not doable for families in this this bracket.

• $30-48k​

  $21,359 per year. <===Note that students in this price range actually pay a little LESS on average than students from lower income families.

• $48-75k​

  $30,371 per year

• $75-110k​

  $34,607 per year
• 
  $110k+
  
  
  $50,567 per year
  
  Here's how Haverford looks, in comparison:

• • <$30k​

    $6,582 per year

  • $30-48k​

    $6,498 per year

  • $48-75k​

    $8,516 per year

  • $75-110k​

    $17,032 per year

  • $110k+​

    $46,769 per year
  
  And UPenn
  

  • <$30k​

    $3,181 per year

  • $30-48k​

    $4,833 per year

  • $48-75k​

    $12,752 per year

  • $75-110k​

    $20,632 per year
  • 
    

  • $110k+​

    $41,421 per year

 

[my little pony]

thank you for all your help! I appreciate it. we both live in SE PA.

@barbk are there any of those 50 full need need blind schools in the area?

 

[Allskate]

MLP is in Pennsylvania. Where there are also a bunch of smaller good colleges (including a few catholic schools like Villanova) that seek first-gen students. Crossing my fingers for her!

If she wants to stay in Pennsylvania, Swarthmore is a good school for her to consider. It has need-blind admissions and she probably would not leave in debt. In addition to Ivies, which usually are need-blind and meet the need without the debt, excellent schools she might want to consider outside of Pennsylvania, but in the Northeast, include Williams, Amherst, and Wesleyan. There also are very good schools that are need-blind but require at least some (but not massive) debt.

All 115 Need-Blind Colleges in the US: A Complete Guide · PrepScholar

What are need-blind admissions? Learn what this policy really means and check out a complete list of need-blind colleges in the US.

blog.prepscholar.com

 

[my little pony]

thanks, that's very helpful.

 

[PRlady]

Bryn Mawr is a woman’s school although in consortium with Swarthmore and Haverford. They love talented hardworking first gen students and I think they are need-blind as well.

 

[barbk]

thank you for all your help! I appreciate it. we both live in SE PA.

@barbk are there any of those 50 full need need blind schools in the area?

This is the most up-to-date list I've seen: https://blog.collegevine.com/schools-that-meet-100-percent-financial-need

UPenn and Haverford do a great job on financial aid. Lafayette generally does as well, and is an easier admission. Running a net price calculator (available on each college's website) is te best strategy. (That does not work nearly as well if the student's parents are divorced.)

ETA - Yes, Bryn Mawr also meets full need. My student there has loved it. I've had several students at Haverford who also really enjoy the hard-working, high achieving, but not competitive environment.

 

[Vagabond]

Opinion | Hey, America, Grow Up! (Published 2023)

How an epidemic of immaturity swept our land.

www.nytimes.com

I am gifting this article because it pertains to the whole topic of trauma. The link will be valid for two weeks.

I am unsure whether I agree that therapeutic culture led to a culture of victimhood, but I do like this bit:

The best life is a series of daring explorations launched from a secure base.

 

[LeafOnTheWind]

I am unsure whether I agree that therapeutic culture led to a culture of victimhood, but I do like this bit:

IMO, it's all a problem of overcorrections and going to extremes of one style or the other without questioning when the bad outweighs the good. Neglect of kids and sending them out on daring escapades to learn on their own without any protection. Bad. Overprotecting to the point where they never learn to care for themselves. Bad. Pick any other extreme stance without really asking what's happening at this point. Bad. Etc.... If there is one thing I believe to be 100% true always is that someone correcting a wrong is going to end up creating another wrong by strict labeling one thing as pure bad and the other pure good. I'm a huge believer in balance and trying to fit it into reality the best you can.

I do agree that the line you quoted was the best part of it.

 

[Prancer]

Opinion | Hey, America, Grow Up! (Published 2023)

How an epidemic of immaturity swept our land.

www.nytimes.com

I am gifting this article because it pertains to the whole topic of trauma.

Resistance to what he is calling therapeutic culture has been around a long time, but seems to having another moment right now.

For a while there, teachers were encouraged to teach students "grit" (generally defined as persistence, resilience, and determination); this was a really popular concept roughly ten years ago, but it turns out that it's not all that easy to teach such things in schools.

The best life is a series of daring explorations launched from a secure base.

Well, sure, but kids who have trauma usually don't have that secure base. Some of them do well anyway; most of them don't. There are people who are studying the kids who suffer trauma and do well in life anyway to see what sets them apart from the others. And their conclusion:

The most significant determinant of resilience — noted in nearly every review or study of resilience in the last 50 years — is the quality of our close personal relationships, especially with parents and primary caregivers. Early attachments to parents play a crucial, lifelong role in human adaptation.

And given that for most kids, trauma revolves around their parents and primary caregivers in one way or another, it's not that easy for most to overcome that.

I do think a lot of people are just whiny and self-pitying, and I do think there is cultural encouragement for that, but it's not that easy to filter out REAL trauma (what defines that exactly?) from FAKE trauma (and that, too--and who gets to determine that?).

 

[MacMadame]

Well, sure, but kids who have trauma usually don't have that secure base. Some of them do well anyway; most of them don't. There are people who are studying the kids who suffer trauma and do well in life anyway to see what sets them apart from the others. And their conclusion:

The most significant determinant of resilience — noted in nearly every review or study of resilience in the last 50 years — is the quality of our close personal relationships, especially with parents and primary caregivers. Early attachments to parents play a crucial, lifelong role in human adaptation.

That's been my personal experience. Of course, it's not that simple. I do think personality comes into it because that's how we filter our life experiences. Someone with a sunny disposition is going to do better with trauma than if they tend to the negative.

There are also instances where someone is mentally ill in a way that they would end up where they are no matter what. Or at least end up not doing well.

 

[VGThuy]

I think the article and the posts responding to it mirror my take on what is well-charted but still dangerous waters we are still navigating through and are trying to figure out.

 

[Prancer]

I think the article and the posts responding to it mirror my take on what is well-charted but still dangerous waters we are still navigating through and are trying to figure out.

This piece discusses problems with the term trauma; the focus is on how people responded to the pandemic by reading a lot of self-help books, but touches on some of the issues in the Brooks piece.

“The word trauma is very popular these days,” van der Kolk told me. It’s also uselessly vague—a swirl of psychiatric diagnoses, folk wisdom, and popular misconceptions. The pandemic has led to very real suffering, but while these books have one idea of trauma in mind, most readers may have another.

[T]rauma has come to signify a range of injuries so broad that the term verges on meaninglessness. The American Psychological Association, for example, describes trauma as “an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster”—like, but not only. “Like weeds that spread through a space and invasively take over semantic territory from others,” trauma can be used to describe any misfortune, big or small, Nicholas Haslam, a psychology professor at the University of Melbourne, told me. That concept creep is evident on TikTok, where creators use “trauma response” to explain away all kinds of behavior, including doomscrolling and perfectionist tendencies.

Ultimately, talking about trauma isn’t just a semantic matter. “Having a tight, limited idea of what mental illness looks like is a recipe for stigma; it’s a recipe for not seeking help for oneself [and for] not offering help to others,” Haslam said. The desire to validate other people’s suffering “is a good corrective,” he added. “It just happens to be a pretty blunt object in this concept of trauma.” And that is the major lesson you’ll learn if you can make it to the end of this grueling syllabus: We still have so much to understand about trauma.

 

[Prancer]

Why I am cynical about the whole "need blind" thing

[T]he lawsuit accused the schools of having "participated in a price-fixing cartel that is designed to reduce or eliminate financial aid as a locus of competition" which had "artificially inflated the net price of attendance for students receiving financial aid," according to the original legal filing. The plaintiffs said the schools favored wealthy applicants and "conspired" to reduce financial aid packages, and that they "overcharged over 170,000 financial-aid recipients by at least hundreds of millions of dollars."

The lawsuit targeted an antitrust exemption in Section 568 of the Higher Education Act that allowed schools to collaborate on financial aid formulas if they were "need blind," meaning they do not consider a student's ability to pay in the admissions process. The plaintiffs claimed the schools' admissions were not truly need blind and found ways to consider the wealth a prospective student would bring to the school.

 

[Vagabond]

I can't speak to the financial-aid aspect, but preferences for athletes and children of alumni are not really "need blind," inasmuch as such applicants tend to come from wealthier families than other applicants do.