SafeSport investigating Peter Oppegard

Aceon6

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I get it. I really do. Having had direct association with abusers, it's a constant struggle to evaluate the benefits and risks of maintaining the relationship. Sometimes, the path of least resistance is to bury the issue very deeply. It's not just figure skating. I'm aware of MANY kids who felt they had no choice in working with bad coaches at the high school level, and many more who suffered with bad team captains while the coach looked the other way, yet chose to stay on the team. I know of MANY people whose bosses yelled at them or demeaned them who did not quit their jobs. It's a pervasive issue not limited to any specific endeavor or geography. Thinking you know what you would do is very different than being in the situation. Sometimes, the only choice is to live through the situation and deal with it when time and distance make it safe to do so. For those reasons, I don't question the delays in reporting. That said, once something is reported and corroborated, I am frustrated with the lack of immediate action on the part of the higher ups. Due process is needed, but the immediate removal of the abuser from the environment is necessary.
 

barbarafan

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5,303
Her mother knew Oppegard bit her 15 year old daughter, even saw the bite mark, and allowed her to continue to train with him? I don't understand that.
She stated they didn't know what to do. She asked her mom to not say anything as she felt he would act worse in retaliation. As well they knew it would adversely affect his wife & kids.
 

Judy

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I get it. I really do. Having had direct association with abusers, it's a constant struggle to evaluate the benefits and risks of maintaining the relationship. Sometimes, the path of least resistance is to bury the issue very deeply. It's not just figure skating. I'm aware of MANY kids who felt they had no choice in working with bad coaches at the high school level, and many more who suffered with bad team captains while the coach looked the other way, yet chose to stay on the team. I know of MANY people whose bosses yelled at them or demeaned them who did not quit their jobs. It's a pervasive issue not limited to any specific endeavor or geography. Thinking you know what you would do is very different than being in the situation. Sometimes, the only choice is to live through the situation and deal with it when time and distance make it safe to do so. For those reasons, I don't question the delays in reporting. That said, once something is reported and corroborated, I am frustrated with the lack of immediate action on the part of the higher ups. Due process is needed, but the immediate removal of the abuser from the environment is necessary.
I get it. I had accepted an ideal job in 2019 and walked into into a very toxic work environment. I quit after 3 weeks. It was the first time I had ever experienced that and in some cases people simply can’t leave for financial reasons etc.
 

genevieve

drinky typo pbp, closet hugger (she/her)
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I get it. I had accepted an ideal job in 2019 and walked into into a very toxic work environment. I quit after 3 weeks. It was the first time I had ever experienced that and in some cases people simply can’t leave for financial reasons etc.
There is also a sense of, well, these other people are still here, maybe it's not as bad as I thought. Or maybe I did something to make this otherwise excellent [coach/boss/director/choreographer/mentor] act this way. If I just keep my head down and be better, perhaps this will stop. Or the rewards for putting up with it will be worth it.

It's really easy to say what we would do in this situation, but I can totally understand why a 15 year old (with some level of autonomy and decision making), and the parent of a 15 year old, would hesitate to throw away years of investment in a sport, given the culture of the sport at the time. With the open conversations of the past few years, particularly the revelations about gymnastics, I imagine it would be different. 2013 wasn't that long ago, but in terms of shining a light on abusive behavior, it might as well be a different century.
 

Judy

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There is also a sense of, well, these other people are still here, maybe it's not as bad as I thought. Or maybe I did something to make this otherwise excellent [coach/boss/director/choreographer/mentor] act this way. If I just keep my head down and be better, perhaps this will stop. Or the rewards for putting up with it will be worth it.

It's really easy to say what we would do in this situation, but I can totally understand why a 15 year old (with some level of autonomy and decision making), and the parent of a 15 year old, would hesitate to throw away years of investment in a sport, given the culture of the sport at the time. With the open conversations of the past few years, particularly the revelations about gymnastics, I imagine it would be different. 2013 wasn't that long ago, but in terms of shining a light on abusive behavior, it might as well be a different century.
Omg yes. The damage to a child. I refuse to victim blame. It is always a complex situation.
 

Judy

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Does Safe Sport extend to other countries? I highly doubt only the U.S. has an issue. I remember that Lloyd Eisler was suspended under sketchy circumstances.
 

Vagabond

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2013 wasn't that long ago, but in terms of shining a light on abusive behavior, it might as well be a different century.
The 2013 way of thinking you have described reflects the way many people here on FSU approach the Oppegard, Coughlin, , Callaghan, Ciprès, and Nassar stories even now. People here struggle or refuse to believe the evidence or else believe that the victims should have kept quiet and even acquiesced in how they were treated. On the flip side, other people here on FSU were expressing outrage at abuse well before 2013, particularly with respect to Callaghan, who, of course, had already been facing accusations for years.

I would say that not all that much has changed, and that there is a lot more work to do on shining the light.

@Judy SafeSport is an American body, but other countries do have similar institutions.

ETA: Corrected to replace a name that had no business being in the list!
 
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Karen-W

Checking Senior Bs for TES mins...
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The 2013 way of thinking you have described reflects the way many people here on FSU approach the Oppegard, Coughlin, Massot Cipres, Callaghan, and Nassar stories even now. People here struggle or refuse to believe the evidence or else believe that the victims should have kept quiet and even acquiesced in how they were treated. On the flip side, other people here on FSU were expressing outrage at abuse well before 2013, particularly with respect to Callaghan, who, of course, had already been facing accusations for years.

I would say that not all that much has changed, and that there is a lot more work to do on shining the light.

@Judy SafeSport is an American body, but other countries do have similar institutions.
I think you mean Cipres, right? I haven't heard of any allegations against Massot.

In general, I think FSUers are pretty good at expressing outrage at abuse across the figure skating world, not just in the US, when these allegations or hints of it come to light. We've all routinely heard and discussed the stories about Mie Hamada, Stanislav Zhuk and Ingo Steuer and let's not get into the conversations we regularly see about Team ET's borderline disordered eating practices (which are a form of abuse, like it or not). I'm sure we'd have more active discussions about specific allegations against those coaches if we had more posters from those countries here.
 

genevieve

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I would say that not all that much has changed, and that there is a lot more work to do on shining the light.
I agree there is a lot more that is needed, but the fact that these cases are finally seeing the light tells me that things have changed greatly, because governing bodies are having to come to terms with their years of looking the other way. It's messy, there will be missteps, it's not going to be enough, and there will be a lot of outrage about why nothing was done at the time/the consequences now, and yes, there will be those who are angry that we all can't just let things in the past stay there, but I don't think we are ever going back to the systemic culture of secrecy around abuse that there was until very recently.

ETA: there are sports or communities that have not yet faces their reckoning, but it feels inevitable that it's coming. Some may take many more years. But I do expect that any sport, art, or other community that involves a primarily male governing body and a significant amount of female and especially minor (any gender) participants is going to get a very close look sooner than later, because there are a lot of skeletons in those closets.
 
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Judy

Well-Known Member
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5,527
The 2013 way of thinking you have described reflects the way many people here on FSU approach the Oppegard, Coughlin, Massot, Callaghan, and Nassar stories even now. People here struggle or refuse to believe the evidence or else believe that the victims should have kept quiet and even acquiesced in how they were treated. On the flip side, other people here on FSU were expressing outrage at abuse well before 2013, particularly with respect to Callaghan, who, of course, had already been facing accusations for years.

I would say that not all that much has changed, and that there is a lot more work to do on shining the light.

@Judy SafeSport is an American body, but other countries do have similar institutions.
That’s what I thought. I am not a parent but I love children. I do remember though I loved watching gymnastics at a young age but I remember watching the U.S. gymnastic that competed with the injured foot with the team and my gut instinct was that things were not right and feeling really uncomfortable. I stopped watching after that. i fully support those young women having the courage to come forward.
 

Aceon6

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but I don't think we are ever going back to the systemic culture of secrecy around abuse that there was until very recently
This. My nephew coaches soccer and baseball. In his area, kids and parents are instructed on how to report and are being actively encouraged to report both coach issues and hazing. There's a triage process to attempt to separate the "I‘m mad at the coach so I'm gonna get the coach in trouble" reports from those that warrant further inquiry. Once an inquiry is started, the coach is not allowed to interact with kids younger than 16. It's modeled after the child abuse hotline process.
 
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Perky Shae Lynn

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2,477
Some thoughts...

1. Rumors about Oppegard persisted for years, starting with his behavior as a competitor. This is not a surprise. It's only a reflection of what coaches (especially the ones that have a former Olympian tag attached to them) have been able to get away with for decades.

2. When parents get pulled into this discussion, I cringe. Primarily because it takes attention away from the abuser. And lets not forget that these abuse situation usually become known because parents do something. Not soon enough, but they do it. You know what abuse we don't ever hear about? The kind where parents pretend doesn't exist. Enabling skating parents are a huge part of the problem. Until the parents take a hard stand and stop enabling people like Oppegard, Zimmerman, ect. - no real change will happen.

3. I am not a fan of Christine Brennan. I do not believe for a second that she's covering abuse in skating because she cares. It's good for clicks, therefore she is on it. Yet I do not give a rat's ass about her motives. As long as she's bringing something important to our attention, it has value.
 

genevieve

drinky typo pbp, closet hugger (she/her)
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3. I am not a fan of Christine Brennan. I do not believe for a second that she's covering abuse in skating because she cares. It's good for clicks, therefore she is on it. Yet I do not give a rat's ass about her motives. As long as she's bringing something important to our attention, it has value.
this. If a "tabloid" journalist is the one bringing this into public scrutiny, they are still doing a huge service by shining a light on it.
 

AngieNikodinovLove

Frangi & Piazza & Paul & Hektor & Theo. Oh My! 😝
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Wow, with all of the revelations coming forward the last couple years I still wonder what else lies beneath.

 

Coco

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I hope that Carolyn Zhang wasn't mistreated. Her body put her through enough as it was.

I'm very sorry to hear about these allegations. It's so sad that athletes with an Olympic Dream are faced with what they feel are such insane choices. Your career, investment, dreams, reputation and future livelihood versus speaking up for yourself.
 

Yuri

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813
As I said...

...veeeeeeery interesting to see whose automatic response is an attempt to discredit the only figure skating journalist speaking out against sexual abuse in our sport.

veeeeeeeery interesting.
Since when did the Oppegard allegations have anything to do with sexual assault? I personally know skaters who have been victims of sexual assault by their coaches, including those caught and banned by the USFS. You are barking up the wrong tree, Missy...

Some thoughts...

1. Rumors about Oppegard persisted for years, starting with his behavior as a competitor. This is not a surprise. It's only a reflection of what coaches (especially the ones that have a former Olympian tag attached to them) have been able to get away with for decades.

3. I am not a fan of Christine Brennan. I do not believe for a second that she's covering abuse in skating because she cares. It's good for clicks, therefore she is on it. Yet I do not give a rat's ass about her motives. As long as she's bringing something important to our attention, it has value.
Well maybe it's an East Coast vs. West Coast thing as far as what rumors you hear. Certainly none of the sexual abuse allegations against the East Coast coaches were surprising to me and I was very happy they eventually were shamed and banned. And that my sibling was never victimized by any of them as a national level competitor.

My resentments towards Ms. Brennan are mostly leftover from the Golden Era of the late 1990's and early 2000's when she misreported and sensationalized stories that were hurtful to friends of mine, all to sell newspapers (not as many clicks back then). Heck I even bought both of her books from that era and even met her on an overseas flight to Europe for a World Championship. I certainly wouldn't put her in the same esteemed category as Beverley Smith or a Philip Hersh. I also remember her as a local from her Washington Post days before she truly went national in USA Today, so my views aren't limited to her figure skating reporting.

1. I just want to reiterate my past comment in re: to the difference between a report, an investigation and an adjudication. You're assuming that the most recent report was the first time that the alleged biting of Jessica was reported to an authoritative body. It's important to note that claimants aren't the only people who can make reports - witnesses and related parties can as well.

2. I read your earlier comment and can only imagine how confusing and shocking this article must be to you. I'm in a very different situation than you - I don't personally know Oppegard, however, I do know of several people who've reported him for physical and emotional abuse (a mixture of claimants and witnesses).

I believe in due process*. I also believe that people have a right to forming their own opinions. At least in the US, terms like due process are principles applicable to legal matters - not to the individual opinions of figure skating forum members (but that's a rant for another day LOL).

Generally speaking, we form our opinions based on the information that we have in front of us. I'm sure that your pre-existing relationship and opinion of Oppegard is impacting your opinion of this matter the same way that my lack of relationship w/ him and knowledge of certain allegations is impacting my own. Such is life.

Hopefully, if/when more of the information is released to the public, you will change some of your positions & recognize how some of your comments have been harmful. With that said, I wish you the best.
Of course the pre-existing relationship is going to make my reactions different as the charges to me are shocking, particularly since I have taken a nearly two-decade timeout from being a USFS official and attending major skating competitions/shows. Certainly I haven't kept up with Oppegard since then and hadn't heard any of the abuse rumors either through the grapevine or read anything on the skating boards (admittedly, I don't spend nearly as much time on them as I did in the past). My sibling's competing at the Championship level at US Nationals overlapped with Oppegard's which is when my extended family first met him, and we heard nothing at that time either about bad behavior, or when my sibling worked with him a couple years later on pairs moves after they both turned professional and started coaching.

I'm sure if I had heard these rumors I would have felt the same way as many of you as I felt about a couple of the East Coast coaches, whom I certainly had met at competitions/training facilities but with whom I had no relationship. Frankly it's my sibling who had the closer relationship with him as a friend, coach, and mentor, albeit around three decades ago.
 

bethy135

Active Member
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100%. Society, and especially elite figure skating, still protects abusers in positions of power. Those with the power to affect real change more often than not identify more with the abuser than with the victim.

Absolutely this. The power imbalance at our rink was untenable for our family. Just calling out coaches' unsavory but not illegal behavior towards minor children was enough to get us shunned. Everyone worships the coaches because there are so few of them in this niche sport. They have way too much leverage.
 

Vagabond

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25,385
As I said...

...veeeeeeery interesting to see whose automatic response is an attempt to discredit the only figure skating journalist speaking out against sexual abuse in our sport.

veeeeeeeery interesting.

Since when did the Oppegard allegations have anything to do with sexual assault? I personally know skaters who have been victims of sexual assault by their coaches, including those caught and banned by the USFS. You are barking up the wrong tree, Missy...
@misskarne didn't say that the Oppegard relations had anything to do with sexual assault. She said that Christine Brennan speaks out against sexual abuse. And so she has -- on other occasions.

Take a good long look at yourself. Calling anyone "Missy" who isn't named Missy reeks of sexism, condescension, and privilege.
 

winston

Member
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I recall reading on their blog last fall that they were having difficulties obtaining a release from USFS to skate for Switzerland.

The paragraph beginning: "The tumultuous season continued and we were trying to figure out what exactly was going on with our status in competing for Switzerland" starts the discussion. The Blog Post

At this point, I do hope USFS has fully released them, with no reimbursement necessary. Jessica (and Josh) has been through enough. I keep imagining those discussions with the pair knowing what they do and USFS not wavering in their protocol. Must have been maddening for them.
Some kindness and support would go a long way.
 

BittyBug

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There are two very different yet both equally harmful types of abuse being discussed in this thread. Sexual abuse (not relevant to Oppergard) almost always occurs in secret. In contrast, emotional and physical abuse very often occur in public. With sexual abuse there may be whispers and innuendo, but with emotional abuse it's frequently all there for many to see. So why was it tolerated? Well, there are a number of possible reasons.

First, most people are reluctant to insert themselves into other people's business. They might see something that they think is inappropriate, but they leave it to those directly involved to address it.* (I'll come back to this one.)

Second, and this is by no means an attempt to excuse the conditions that allowed this to foster, but pre Safe Sport, the US Figure Skating grievance policy had very specific constraints that made it very difficult for anyone other than the immediate victim to initiate a complaint, and it had to be done within 60 days of occurrence. This frequently led to complaints being dismissed because they didn't meet these highly-limiting criteria.

And third, Oppergard was a package deal. Disciplining him risked upsetting Karen Kwan, and by extension the Kwan skating dynasty. I have seen this happen in another coaching team situation in which one half is notoriously prone to lacerating rage. Addressing the abuser would risk losing the other half of the team, which can give pause if that duo has a large volume of business and is well-connected within US Figure Skating. It's not right, but I'm mentioning it because it can cloud one's judgment.

As for why those directly involved don't come forward immediately, there are myriad reasons. Skating is a judged sport, so there is always the fear that ruffling feathers will come back to bite you. But further, being the victim of emotional abuse can be very confusing and victims often look to themselves first to question whether they may have done something to cause the outburst. And if it happens a few times, victims often start to believe that they somehow are responsible for the behavior, which erodes self-esteem. The thought process is, "If I'm so horrible that I deserve this treatment, who else would want me?"

It's easy to make assumptions about how you would behave if you're not directly involved, but it's not as simple as it may seem. It's also very difficult to speak out, so I applaud those who are doing so now. It's never too late to seek justice.
 

Erin

Banned Member
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10,472
with emotional abuse it's frequently all there for many to see. So why was it tolerated? Well, there are a number of possible reasons.

In addition to the reasons you mentioned, I think emotional abuse has often not even been considered abuse (and still isn't by many). It's considered "tough coaching", what it takes to get ahead, and any other number of euphemisms. People think if you can't handle it, you aren't tough enough to survive in the sport. It takes a long time to change that attitude and I think we still have a long way to go. Plenty of parents still want their daughters coached by Maggie Haney even after they know how she treated Laurie Hernandez.

My resentments towards Ms. Brennan are mostly leftover from the Golden Era of the late 1990's and early 2000's when she misreported and sensationalized stories that were hurtful to friends of mine, all to sell newspapers (not as many clicks back then).

I think Brennan wrote a lot of shit back then too, but I think it's pretty easy to separate the more recent articles she has been writing about abuse from those prior articles. That you aren't able to do so shows how much your biases are colouring your ability to reason and damaging your critical thinking skills.
 
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thvu

Usova's Apprentice
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8,515
All abuse is emotional abuse.
Yes, but we have to remember that we are trained as children to excuse verbal abuse. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” This tells children that it is incumbent on them not to be hurt by words, which gives abusers a pass; that if they are hurt by words, it’s their problem; that if they can’t brush off words, then that’s their failure, that’s their shortcoming. These children grow into adults and bring this lesson into reality, creating environments and systems that protect verbal/emotional abuse, and excuse it as the fault of the victim.

So, I think it is important to highlight verbal/emotional abuse. I agree with @Erin that society doesn’t see it as abuse. Acknowledging it as such can go a long way in affecting change.
 

Simone411

To Boldly Explore Figure Skating Around The World
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This biting thing with Peter Oppegard took me off guard and threw me for a loop. My mom's friend would come over with her two children to visit us often. I was 7 years old at the time. Her friend's two children were 6 and 5. One day when they came over, the 6 year old whose name was T.J. suddenly bit me on my left arm close to my shoulder. He bit me so hard that it actually left teeth marks, and I started crying. His mom saw him do it. She grabbed him and gave him a spanking that I don't think he soon forgot.

His mom finally took him to a psychologist for counseling because he had continued to try and bite whenever he was around any other kids. The reason he began biting was because he wanted attention. If he felt no one was giving him attention, then he would bite. The counseling help, and he finally grew out of biting people.

I'm thinking after reading all this that maybe this biting, jerking people around and getting aggravated easily that may have originated when he was a child. Maybe his parents didn't get him the help he needed as a child. The worst thing there could possibly be is that they allowed him to do it. Children bite, but a grownup actually biting someone???? Abuse is abuse and purposely biting someone even if it's because there's frustration is just plain scary.
 

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