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Ivana Komova’s interview with Nathan Chen for investinthebestvest.us:
IK: Congratulations on defending your world title.
NC: I appreciate that, but I’d like to hope it’ll be seen as one of my less impressive achievements, even just in skating. I’m not sure if anyone else wanted to win, but even if they had, it’s not like they had good tech or programs to compete with me. I guess I sort of know what Plushenko felt like at the peak of his career, although unlike him I added transitions before I fulfilled my potential or ran out of artistic ideas. I have been thinking about coming back in the fall with a mullet just to see if a bunch of old ladies freak out about my hair again.
IK: This must have been an incredibly busy year for you, between college and skating.
NC: Yeah, there were days when I was so busy that after I finished skating and classes and homework, I barely had five hours to skateboard, hacky sack, and play Fortnite without missing out on my usual nine hours of sleep. I basically had no time to watch skating, either, which is good because my competition outside the U.S. on the guys' side sucks so much that it would have been depressing to follow them. I would have liked to see more of the ladies, though. I heard Kihira had some great performances, but I still haven’t had time to watch.
IK: What about our amazing Russian women?
NC: I’ve had two Russian women as coaches before, Genya and Marina, so I appreciate that whole angle. But nope, too busy. Maybe later.
IK: During Worlds, there was a major controversy involving allegations against your training mate, Mariah Bell.
NC: That was a pretty hard time for her. I would have felt sorry for her, but after having to listen to her shitty Celine music every time I got the chance to train in person with Raf, I had no sympathy left. No, just kidding! She’s doing fine and I think everyone will make peace, except for some crazy fans who at least now don’t have to spend their whole time attacking Adelina Sotnikova and planning a mass protest of ISU events when, in reality, only two of them will show up with a banner that says PLEASE STOP TO TELL A LIE, ISU. Can it or stick with change.org, people.
IK: Speaking of intense skating fans, surely you’re aware of the recent petition against Eric Radford and criticism of the scores you achieved at Worlds.
NC: Lordy, leave it to a Russian journalist to bring that up. You guys are ruthless. Anyway, let’s address those issues one at a time. Now, I’ve been in college for less than a year, but I did take a humanities class called Critical Realities: Contemporary Social Theory, Meta(Physicality), and the Multiverse. We spent a ton of time talking about how a mostly leftist idea about questioning objectivity got coopted by the right in the lead-up to the 2016 presidential campaign. So, I’m not a total expert or anything, but I think these dudes criticizing Eric are missing the point on the difference between objective and subjective. Plus, I was too busy to watch, but I heard that there were stats on jump height and distance and shit at Worlds, so unless all the judges’ scores were consistent with those stats, shouldn’t there be a petition to have them thrown into the street or whatever these people want to happen with Eric? Like, dude, it’s not that complicated.
IK: You may have a point there.
NC: Thanks. Anyway, as to the other thing, apparently some of Hanyu’s fans are saying I should have finished like—what—around where Samarin did. Pardon my language, but what the absolute ****. No offense to Samarin, who seems like a great guy, but if he’s the greatest showman then Raf is pathologically low-key, Fortnite sucks balls, and NBC’s figure skating coverage has practically ignored me for the last three years. There’s a very strong whiff coming from these Twitter and Instagram accounts and I can smell it though my computer screen. It isn’t weed, not that a Yale student who enjoys skateboarding and hacky would know. It’s the reek of delusion. Mixed with Pooh.
IK: What do you think it is that makes certain skaters elicit such intense adoration from their fans? We saw it with Virtue and Moir and Papadakis and Cizeron last season, but recently it has been more one-sided.
NC: A wise dude once said the religion is the opium of the people, and fandom is certainly a religion, so you take it from there.
IK: I don’t think I would refer to Karl Marx as wise.
NC: Well, call him what you like as long as you call him time and again, to quote one of my favorite ‘90s songs. Someone should skate to that. But anyway, if a bunch of my fans started showing up wearing tastefully minimalist Vera Wang costumes with long curly hair, or whatever—there isn’t even an equivalent to the batshit Winnie cosplay throwing scale models of Yuzuru wearing exact replicas of his costumes. But if anything remotely close to that happened to me, I would file a restraining order faster than Raf screams Armenian curses when FaceTime isn’t connecting.
IK: Before we go, any lessons you’ve learned that you’ll take going into another season mixing school and skating?
NC: Really, the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is to remember to look in the mirror before going downstairs to get pizza delivery at four in the morning, because back in November after an awesome party I was grabbing some pies for the guys in my suite and . . . I’m too busy to tell you the rest.
Lastly, I want to give a shout out to Evan Lysacek, who rocked Wang better than I ever will. Congrats on the engagement, bro.
Chen out.
IK: Congratulations on defending your world title.
NC: I appreciate that, but I’d like to hope it’ll be seen as one of my less impressive achievements, even just in skating. I’m not sure if anyone else wanted to win, but even if they had, it’s not like they had good tech or programs to compete with me. I guess I sort of know what Plushenko felt like at the peak of his career, although unlike him I added transitions before I fulfilled my potential or ran out of artistic ideas. I have been thinking about coming back in the fall with a mullet just to see if a bunch of old ladies freak out about my hair again.
IK: This must have been an incredibly busy year for you, between college and skating.
NC: Yeah, there were days when I was so busy that after I finished skating and classes and homework, I barely had five hours to skateboard, hacky sack, and play Fortnite without missing out on my usual nine hours of sleep. I basically had no time to watch skating, either, which is good because my competition outside the U.S. on the guys' side sucks so much that it would have been depressing to follow them. I would have liked to see more of the ladies, though. I heard Kihira had some great performances, but I still haven’t had time to watch.
IK: What about our amazing Russian women?
NC: I’ve had two Russian women as coaches before, Genya and Marina, so I appreciate that whole angle. But nope, too busy. Maybe later.
IK: During Worlds, there was a major controversy involving allegations against your training mate, Mariah Bell.
NC: That was a pretty hard time for her. I would have felt sorry for her, but after having to listen to her shitty Celine music every time I got the chance to train in person with Raf, I had no sympathy left. No, just kidding! She’s doing fine and I think everyone will make peace, except for some crazy fans who at least now don’t have to spend their whole time attacking Adelina Sotnikova and planning a mass protest of ISU events when, in reality, only two of them will show up with a banner that says PLEASE STOP TO TELL A LIE, ISU. Can it or stick with change.org, people.
IK: Speaking of intense skating fans, surely you’re aware of the recent petition against Eric Radford and criticism of the scores you achieved at Worlds.
NC: Lordy, leave it to a Russian journalist to bring that up. You guys are ruthless. Anyway, let’s address those issues one at a time. Now, I’ve been in college for less than a year, but I did take a humanities class called Critical Realities: Contemporary Social Theory, Meta(Physicality), and the Multiverse. We spent a ton of time talking about how a mostly leftist idea about questioning objectivity got coopted by the right in the lead-up to the 2016 presidential campaign. So, I’m not a total expert or anything, but I think these dudes criticizing Eric are missing the point on the difference between objective and subjective. Plus, I was too busy to watch, but I heard that there were stats on jump height and distance and shit at Worlds, so unless all the judges’ scores were consistent with those stats, shouldn’t there be a petition to have them thrown into the street or whatever these people want to happen with Eric? Like, dude, it’s not that complicated.
IK: You may have a point there.
NC: Thanks. Anyway, as to the other thing, apparently some of Hanyu’s fans are saying I should have finished like—what—around where Samarin did. Pardon my language, but what the absolute ****. No offense to Samarin, who seems like a great guy, but if he’s the greatest showman then Raf is pathologically low-key, Fortnite sucks balls, and NBC’s figure skating coverage has practically ignored me for the last three years. There’s a very strong whiff coming from these Twitter and Instagram accounts and I can smell it though my computer screen. It isn’t weed, not that a Yale student who enjoys skateboarding and hacky would know. It’s the reek of delusion. Mixed with Pooh.
IK: What do you think it is that makes certain skaters elicit such intense adoration from their fans? We saw it with Virtue and Moir and Papadakis and Cizeron last season, but recently it has been more one-sided.
NC: A wise dude once said the religion is the opium of the people, and fandom is certainly a religion, so you take it from there.
IK: I don’t think I would refer to Karl Marx as wise.
NC: Well, call him what you like as long as you call him time and again, to quote one of my favorite ‘90s songs. Someone should skate to that. But anyway, if a bunch of my fans started showing up wearing tastefully minimalist Vera Wang costumes with long curly hair, or whatever—there isn’t even an equivalent to the batshit Winnie cosplay throwing scale models of Yuzuru wearing exact replicas of his costumes. But if anything remotely close to that happened to me, I would file a restraining order faster than Raf screams Armenian curses when FaceTime isn’t connecting.
IK: Before we go, any lessons you’ve learned that you’ll take going into another season mixing school and skating?
NC: Really, the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is to remember to look in the mirror before going downstairs to get pizza delivery at four in the morning, because back in November after an awesome party I was grabbing some pies for the guys in my suite and . . . I’m too busy to tell you the rest.
Lastly, I want to give a shout out to Evan Lysacek, who rocked Wang better than I ever will. Congrats on the engagement, bro.
Chen out.
As if! Have you checked on investinthebest.com yet?
Raf would be doing more than screaming Armenian curses if he felt Nathan now thinks he can phone it in simply because he, Nathan Slaythan 'zen master,' has exceeded everyone's lowered expectations for what he could possibly achieve last season while attending Yale full-time.
