My husband is coming home!

[pat c]

Here's hoping that every day things improve. Hang in there.

 

[Anita18]

((HUGS)) judiz.

 

[Spun Silver]

You have to trust your gut because no one knows your husband or your home life better than you do. Few doctors these days have time to help figure out problems like this, and the system is fragmented. It makes the burden on the caregiver so heavy.

The patients always want to come home. It doesn't mean they are ready. However, I took my hubby home a few days before he was scheduled to be released because the house was ready and I felt it was time. It was very very hard for two or three months, and his home care therapists questioned whether it was even safe for him to be at home. People in my FB support group were suggesting things like putting handrails all over the house so he wouldn't fall. And that is just the physical side of things -- mentally and emotionally he was overwhelmingly difficult too. But my gut told me he would get stronger and he did.

I can't even imagine the pressure you are under having to hold down a job through something like this. I am so sorry you are going through this. God send you both the help, strength and courage you need right now.

 

[Vash01]

(((Judiz)))

 

[AxelAnnie]

Home 8 hours and already disregarding doctor's orders, Hope tomorrow is better

I don't mean to be harsh. But is he is not willing to follow the doctor's orders he is not ready to be home. He is an adult. You cannot make him do anything.
It may just be that he needs more care than you can provide.
I don't know what his MO is when pushed or prodded or reminded to do what the Dr says..... But I assume it is not "Thank you for reminding me".

 

[judiz]

He is not doing well, very anxious and very obsessive. I am not enabling him, instead telling him to do his relaxation exercises and to get on with his life. He is wondering if he needs to return to the hospital, I have no answers, I have never been in this situation and have no idea what goes through the mind of someone just released from a psychiatric hospital. I have no idea if what he is feeling is normal and he just needs more time to adjust to being home. Home 5 days and not one follow up call from the hospital to see how he is. He starts outpatient treatment tomorrow and will be under the supervision of the psychiatrist there. Hoping they have the answers.

 

[Spun Silver]

@judiz, I don't know if this article will help but at least it might give you an overview of the mental health care system, such as it is, as well as its grim deficiencies. It also mentions a national support group with local chapters.
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/27/-sp-americas-mental-health-care-system-crisis

I do think that once they come home, the caregiver is largely on his or her own. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[nlloyd]

He is not doing well, very anxious and very obsessive. I am not enabling him, instead telling him to do his relaxation exercises and to get on with his life. He is wondering if he needs to return to the hospital, I have no answers, I have never been in this situation and have no idea what goes through the mind of someone just released from a psychiatric hospital. I have no idea if what he is feeling is normal and he just needs more time to adjust to being home. Home 5 days and not one follow up call from the hospital to see how he is. He starts outpatient treatment tomorrow and will be under the supervision of the psychiatrist there. Hoping they have the answers.

I hope the psychiatrist at the outpatient treatment center has some answers too, judiz. Does the center not offer a support group for caregivers? It might be helpful to hear the insights of other caregivers in situations similar to yours.

 

[skatesindreams]

If he is saying that he needs to return to the hospital, that needs to be discussed with his doctor, IMO.
Were you given an idea of what reaction might be expected upon his release, judiz?

 

[judiz]

If he is saying that he needs to return to the hospital, that needs to be discussed with his doctor, IMO.
Were you given an idea of what reaction might be expected upon his release, judiz?

We were told to expect panic attacks and obsessive behavior, the psychiatrist said it could take a month for everything to settle. Guess I didn't expect it to be this hard.

 

[Vash01]

Judiz, sorry you have such big challenges. My best wishes are with you and your husband. Hang in there. The tough times will pass.

 

[skatesindreams]

We were told to expect panic attacks and obsessive behavior, the psychiatrist said it could take a month for everything to settle. Guess I didn't expect it to be this hard.

I hope that you receive the support/counsel you need; from the doctor and other sources.

 

[Anita18]

We were told to expect panic attacks and obsessive behavior, the psychiatrist said it could take a month for everything to settle. Guess I didn't expect it to be this hard.

Oof, that's really hard judiz. Then it's up to you to decide when to bring him back to the hospital or not, if it's already expected he wouldn't be perfect coming back home.

((HUGS))

 

[GarrAargHrumph]

The hospital should have a social worker on staff who you can be put in touch with, and who can help you figure out what resources are available to you that might help, beyond what you already have. I'm not sure if they can find out what's normal, what you should expect right now; but they might be able to. If you think that might help, you can contact them.

 

[Spun Silver]

I hope it went well at the outpatient facility today. It may take some time to see if it's a good fit. If it is, they may be able to give you some advice. They should have a social worker too. I know how busy you are, but if you have time, try to talk to other caregivers there - they will know things that could help you.

 

[judiz]

During the eight weeks my husband was hospitalized, I never heard from the social worker, only the doctor when he called to give me updates since I couldn't visit during the week. Met her only once at the discharge meeting. I really hope someone does call do I can let them have it.

On the positive side, outpatient therapy went well today.

 

[gkelly]

During the eight weeks my husband was hospitalized, I never heard from the social worker, only the doctor when he called to give me updates since I couldn't visit during the week. Met her only once at the discharge meeting. I really hope someone does call do I can let them have it.

Can you call her? Especially if you think she has some information or advice that would be useful to you?

On the positive side, outpatient therapy went well today.

Glad there's some good news.

 

[GarrAargHrumph]

It's not unusual that, if you want to talk to the social worker, you need to reach out to her. So if you think it might help, set up an appointment. Do not wait for her to call you, because she likely will not.

 

[Spun Silver]

^ Sad but true.

Hubby was in acute rehab at Mt Sinai for a month. Only on the last day he was there when I was taking everything out of his room did I learn they had a caregiver support group. It was in a big binder that they (therapists? aides?) kept stuffed down in the bottom of his closet and never told me about. I was there almost every day. You do have to reach out to get anything. Squeaky wheel and all... That's also why the caregiver's life is so hard.

 

[judiz]

Got a phone call last night that an agency I spoke to has a therapist available to see me. Just have to make the appointment and hope my husband will be okay while I'm gone.

 

[Spun Silver]

Good for you! I hope the therapist is good and "gets" you and your situation.

 

[TheGirlCanSkate]

I hope you get a quick appointment date. Thinking of you a lot this week.

 

[judiz]

I hope you get a quick appointment date. Thinking of you a lot this week.

Going Thursday night

 

[Buzz]

Best of luck and good vibes to you and your hubby Judiz.

 

[skatesindreams]

We are here for you, as needed.

 

[Coco]

Judiz - I am thinking of you and your husband everyday. So glad outpatient has started. Best wishes!

 

[judiz]

Wanted to give an update as it has now been a month since my husband came home. He is still very sick, he has been through several changes in medications since returning home and was recently put on medication after he started hallucinating. He is attending a day program 3 days a week and sees a psychiatrist every other week and a social worker. I have home care for when I am at work. Still very stressful, lots of sleepless nights, two 911 calls and he is still unable to have visitors or talk to anyone on the phone except for his parents.

I am now seeing a therapist once a week for myself.

 

[gkelly]

((judiz))

Here's hoping the interventions are helpful

 

[Buzz]

I am so sorry for all you and your husband are forced to endure because of mental illness.

 

[skatesindreams]

((((judiz))))

I hope that more effective treatments can be found to help your husband.
I pray that you find peace and serenity during the process, and beyond.