I am one of those who love buying gifts for others- mostly friends and family. Occasionally strangers but those are called donations. 
I don’t expect a gift in return, and if I get one, I don’t care about the price. I accept any gift with gratitude. Occasionally the receiver can put me in a difficult situation. That’s what this thread is about.
A good friend of mine and I came to an agreement a few years ago that we would buy the other gifts for only Birthdays and Christmas. The background for this was that sometimes during my travels I would bring her a gift. Apparently it made her uncomfortable because she felt she must buy me a gift too. So we put a limit on the gift exchange. Just twice a year - Christmas and birthdays.
We used to buy each other lunch or dinner as a birthday gift, in addition to the Wrapped gifts. We could not do it during the YKW (still ongoing).
In May, she brought me birthday gifts. It was the peak of the ykw, so she stood outside my door, at 6 plus ft from me and put the bag of gifts near my door. I gratefully accepted and later told her in a message how much I appreciated the gifts and her gesture To bring those over. We were maintaining the social distance and both of us wore masks.
Her birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. I will be out of town for about a week. I sent her a message that I could bring her birthday gifts to her home either before or after my trip. She told me not to buy her Birthday gifts because I bought a new home and I must have extra expenses.
This puts me in an odd situation. First of all, I know my income, expenses, and what I can afford, after buying a home. She does not need to worry about it because I won’t be buying her a new car, for example. It would be something similar to what we have been buying each other for years. I feel disappointed that she is depriving me of the joy of giving, while she was able to experience that joy on my birthday.
what if I bought her gifts anyway and mailed those to her? Would that be rude? What if I accepted her suggestion and bought her nothing? She suggested that after there is a vaccine we could get together. I responded with “I won’t hold my breath for a vaccine”. Who knows when that will happen? I feel slighted by the rejection of my gifts (I have already bought one and was going to buy some candies to add to that).
In general, I accept a gift if someone is kind enough to buy me something. It does not matter what that gift is. Sometimes it is just what I needed. At other times it could be something that I don’t really need. It is the thought that counts. When others reject my gift, it hurts my feelings. Sometimes they say no at first but then accept it. I find that a bit irritating because I should not have to persuade someone to accept my gift.
In one case someone accepted the gift From me because it was a public event but after the event she returned it to me, saying “I have too many mugs”. Did she really have to do that? She could have easily donated it without my knowledge.
These are rare instances. Majority of the times I do enjoy gift exchange. With the holidays coming up, now I don’t know how this friend will respond to a Christmas gift From me. If she buys me one, I can insist that she accepts one from me. I will be upset if she does not.
What are your experiences with gifts, as a giver or receiver?
I don’t expect a gift in return, and if I get one, I don’t care about the price. I accept any gift with gratitude. Occasionally the receiver can put me in a difficult situation. That’s what this thread is about.
A good friend of mine and I came to an agreement a few years ago that we would buy the other gifts for only Birthdays and Christmas. The background for this was that sometimes during my travels I would bring her a gift. Apparently it made her uncomfortable because she felt she must buy me a gift too. So we put a limit on the gift exchange. Just twice a year - Christmas and birthdays.
We used to buy each other lunch or dinner as a birthday gift, in addition to the Wrapped gifts. We could not do it during the YKW (still ongoing).
In May, she brought me birthday gifts. It was the peak of the ykw, so she stood outside my door, at 6 plus ft from me and put the bag of gifts near my door. I gratefully accepted and later told her in a message how much I appreciated the gifts and her gesture To bring those over. We were maintaining the social distance and both of us wore masks.
Her birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. I will be out of town for about a week. I sent her a message that I could bring her birthday gifts to her home either before or after my trip. She told me not to buy her Birthday gifts because I bought a new home and I must have extra expenses.
This puts me in an odd situation. First of all, I know my income, expenses, and what I can afford, after buying a home. She does not need to worry about it because I won’t be buying her a new car, for example. It would be something similar to what we have been buying each other for years. I feel disappointed that she is depriving me of the joy of giving, while she was able to experience that joy on my birthday.
what if I bought her gifts anyway and mailed those to her? Would that be rude? What if I accepted her suggestion and bought her nothing? She suggested that after there is a vaccine we could get together. I responded with “I won’t hold my breath for a vaccine”. Who knows when that will happen? I feel slighted by the rejection of my gifts (I have already bought one and was going to buy some candies to add to that).
In general, I accept a gift if someone is kind enough to buy me something. It does not matter what that gift is. Sometimes it is just what I needed. At other times it could be something that I don’t really need. It is the thought that counts. When others reject my gift, it hurts my feelings. Sometimes they say no at first but then accept it. I find that a bit irritating because I should not have to persuade someone to accept my gift.
In one case someone accepted the gift From me because it was a public event but after the event she returned it to me, saying “I have too many mugs”. Did she really have to do that? She could have easily donated it without my knowledge.
These are rare instances. Majority of the times I do enjoy gift exchange. With the holidays coming up, now I don’t know how this friend will respond to a Christmas gift From me. If she buys me one, I can insist that she accepts one from me. I will be upset if she does not.
What are your experiences with gifts, as a giver or receiver?
