The tipping dilemma in the US?

[kwanfan1818]

What makes tipping more awkward is that more restaurants are now bringing you the credit card machine to your table and are having to decide on tip with waiter in front of you.

Deciding on the tip is done with the machine facing you. The wait person reading the receipt as it's printing out to see how much you tipped is where the pressure is.

 

[Prancer]

@Prancer - I don't know. I often hear if you can't tip them you shouldn't do ________ (fill in the blank)

Should we tip child care staff, they often make less than some of the examples you listed. As far as I know, they don't get a service tip. Do we tip the medical assistant at the doctor's? They make less than or similar to the Amazon delivery worker.

Should we tip our child's school teachers, lunch room staff, janitorial staff? Should we tip our nurses (as far as I know that's not allowed by employer policies). Should I tip my accountant's administrative staff?

This is my main issue. Lots of people have shitty jobs with shitty hours where they sometimes have to deal with shitty people. Most of them are not paid a whole lot. Some of them are paid more than others, some by quite a lot. But only some of those people get tipped.

 

[genevieve]

I ended up working as a barista for a couple of years post-covid, and still take the occasional shift. Seattle has (i think) the highest minimum wage in the country - as of 1/1/2025 it is $20.75/hour even for tipped positions. And it's not even close to a livable wage in this city. The cafe when I work has GREAT customers and the tips, for a cafe, are amazing.

This makes me more generous at other cafes and places that have a tip jar but probably don't see much in the way of tips. I also try to tip in cash.

For restaurants, the "service charge" has become more and more popular, especially with the $3+/hr hit tipped positions went up in January. Restaurants have to disclose where the money goes - i.e. does it go to staff (and what % of it), or overhead? In general, I try to avoid restaurants that have a service charge, because they should just price their food to cover their costs. But if the service charge is for the house I do still tip.

It's also increasingly popular to have "tip-free" places that still include a tip option on the check. Mixed messages!

I used to just tip based on total, but Seattle also has one of (if not the) highest sales tax in the country and I don't really feel like adding 20% to the 10.1% tax. If I'm ordering online I always check to see if the tip calculators do pre or post tax, because rude.

When I am abroad, I research and tip according to local customs, albeit probably on the high end. I just returned from Singapore where tips for taxis are like $1-2 SG regardless of trip cost, and no place with any type of service charge expects tips.

 

[Vagabond]

I had a client who worked as a waitress and bartender and never received her those tips that customers paid by credit card. Her employer kept all that money. Now, I try to tip with cash whenever I can.

 

[once_upon]

There is a restaurant city tax, restaurant state tax, sometimes a service charge when a using credit card for less than xx amount.n

Maybe state sales tax,?

 

[El Rey]

I learned something new in this thread: tipping on pre-tax amount. I’ve always tipped on the total amount, but now that I think about it not sure I’ll continue to do so unless I got great service. I already feel I pay enough in taxes and don’t need that in my biggest hobby of going out to eat.

I’ve never worked in a restaurant. How are tips usually divided, if at all? I went to lunch solo last week at a nice-ish place and sat at the bar. My bill was about $200 w/tax and I tipped $40. I had multiple people, one who looked like a manager, bring out my dishes. The bartender never served a dish. And a busboy never cleared a dish. I had a couple cocktails. I know we can’t know for sure, but would this tip be split or all go to the bartender?

 

[Evgeniafan]

I know coat room personnel that do not get the tips it goes to the restaurant. So the issue for tipping is also does it go to the person or the company?

 

[overedge]

I tend to pay by card more often than in cash, but when I tip, I always tip in cash. Because I have heard more than a few stories (looking at you S*bw*y) about the restaurant owner keeping the tips that are paid by credit card. At least with cash, even if it goes into a jar or dish, the staff can see that tips are being left for them.

I follow the "no tip if I'm standing up" principle. I do occasionally tip at those places, though, if the service has been really pleasant or if I like visiting the place and want to go there regularly.

 

[Vagabond]

I learned something new in this thread: tipping on pre-tax amount. I’ve always tipped on the total amount, but now that I think about it not sure I’ll continue to do so unless I got great service. I already feel I pay enough in taxes and don’t need that in my biggest hobby of going out to eat.

Whatever rate you tip, the tip should always reflect the pre-tax total. Some states don't even have a sales tax. And communities just on opposites side of a state line can have dramatically different tax rates even if the pre-tax amount for the same sort of meal is exactly the same.

 

[manhn]

When I get coffee, I do custom and do 55 cents because it's easier to type. If I go to a bakery or donut shop where the food is already premade, I don’t tip.

Dine in, 20 percent. Take out, 10-15 percent. I don’t get things delivered. I pick up everything.

Fast food? Do I eat fast food, hmm, I guess donairs are considered fast food. I do 10 percent for my donair person.

My mom still cuts my hair, but if I do got to a barbershop, I do 25%.

I think Quebec is making businesses allow customers tip based on pretax. I wouldn't even know how to adjust that one way or the other.

If I am with friends and we split the tab, I go 25% in case my other friends undertip. Of course, I don't drink alcohol, so my tip isn't as high in absolute terms.

I follow customs of the area, region. Tipping culture is not high on my priority consciousness list.

 

[moebius]

If I go to a bakery or donut shop where the food is already premade, I don’t tip.

Most of the bakeries I go to have the option of tipping if paid by card in addition to a tipping jar. The lowest default tip on the credit card machine is $1 even if the total is less than $5. B/c some of these places are cashless, I think it's too much to even tip $1 for a $4 donut. The default tip for most bakeries that I go to is 20% on the credit card machine which I think is too much. I compare how hard the work is at bakeries versus restaurants and they are not equal. So if I tip 20% at restaurants, then bakeries should be tipped at 10% because the work at bakeries is half as hard as restaurants. I always felt that tipping at restaurants should be based on the # of dishes ordered than the total price. You could order 1 really expensive dish versus several less expensive dishes that totals less than the one expensive dish. If based on total price, the waiter would get higher tip for delivering 1 very expensive dish (less work) than the waiter who delivered several less expensive dishes (more work).

 

[MLIS]

I’ve never worked in a restaurant. How are tips usually divided, if at all? I went to lunch solo last week at a nice-ish place and sat at the bar. My bill was about $200 w/tax and I tipped $40. I had multiple people, one who looked like a manager, bring out my dishes. The bartender never served a dish. And a busboy never cleared a dish. I had a couple cocktails. I know we can’t know for sure, but would this tip be split or all go to the bartender?

I think it’s something that varies greatly from restaurant to restaurant. When I waited tables I kept the tips from my assigned tables, even if someone else had brought the meals out (if the meals came up and I was busy with another table someone would run them out to me, for example). On busy nights I would have a busperson assigned to my section and I would be responsible for tipping them out at my discretion, no set amount. The dining room manager would also print out a report of our sales and we would be responsible for tipping a set percentage of our sales to the bartender and the hostess. I think more and more restaurants are moving to a team style, where one person might take your order, another bring your drinks, another bring your meals, in which case I assume they have more of a system where tips are pooled and then divided equally. I expect every place is different.

 

[overedge]

As mentioned, some areas also have legislation about how tips are distributed. Like this from my province.

Employers can require that tips are redistributed in a tip pool. Employers may not share in tips unless they do similar work to the employees who receive the tips. Employers cannot withhold tips or force employees to give up tips unless it's required by law (e.g. they have a court order to garnish wages).

 

[Prancer]

I ended up working as a barista for a couple of years post-covid, and still take the occasional shift. Seattle has (i think) the highest minimum wage in the country - as of 1/1/2025 it is $20.75/hour even for tipped positions. And it's not even close to a livable wage in this city.

The coffee shops I frequent are all staffed by college or high school students, which doesn't make me inclined to think of them as careerists looking for living wages. But I don't think they should make less than any other employee.

For restaurants, the "service charge" has become more and more popular

That is definitely not common here. There were a couple of places that tried it a year or two ago and the blowback was fierce.

It's interesting reading about some of the services people tip for; I hadn't realized before how very few services I use.

 

[MacMadame]

Edited to add: Ordered UberEats this morning and that tip defaults to 22% now. Sure you can adjust it but I guess they’re making it the standard now.

When I was first old enough to worry about tipping, the standard was 15% for good service. Then it was 18% and then 20%.

This has to stop. These people need their base salary to be a reasonable amount instead of upping and upping the cost to the customers in a voluntary way which means not everyone pays it.

 

[Vash01]

I know our neighbors around the world have an entirely different norm and culture about tipping, but for us in the US tipping has become a huge issue.

I find the cashless/card only culture has added to my dilemma and anger over the tipping question. I'm curious what do you do and why?

A. always tip regardless of type purchase service. What % do you do?

I tip only in restaurants where they serve me or take away my used dishes (like in a buffet meal).

B. only tip in sit down restaurants. When calculating the tip, do you exclude the taxes and the city restaurant fees? Or that's too much effort?

I included the taxes and tip a percent depending on the type of service I received.

C. if the staff hands you a bottle of water or other item at a concession stand, do you tip? Does it change if a club or school receive all tips?

I don’t tip at a concession stand or a shop where e.g. I buy coffee or a cookie at the counter.

D. when the authorization screen won't authorize your swipe or tap, until you select the amount of a tip regardless of the purchase, what do you do?

So far I have not faced this situation. There is always ‘no tip’. However, one can always ask the establishment for help.

E. always look to see if a service charge or automatic gratuity has been added

Yes

F. you have a gift card, do you leave cash tip?

Yes. I treat it like when I pay with my own money.

G. feel embarrassed if you don't leave one

I do feel embarrassed if I forget to leave or feel that I didn’t leave enough. However, I rarely cases (when the service was Really bad) I didn’t leave tip and didn’t regret it.

H. never tip.

I always tip unless I receive very bad service.

I. Im visiting from a country that doesn't tip - I do ____?

I was on a day tour in Hawaii. There were two Australian women on it. They asked me, while we were shopping, how much tip they should give the tour guide. I told them how much I usually pay in such situations. They said in Australia they don’t tip. So they felt the need to ask someone from the country(USA) they were visiting

 

[Vash01]

When I was first old enough to worry about tipping, the standard was 15% for good service. Then it was 18% and then 20%.

This has to stop. These people need their base salary to be a reasonable amount instead of upping and upping the cost to the customers in a voluntary way which means not everyone pays it.

ITA. The employees deserve tobe paid well as their base salary. They shouldn’t have to depend on tips.

I heard that they get $2-$3 per hour in restaurants where I live. That’s ridiculous. May be other states pay more. Still the servers have to depend on tips to survive.

There is another angle to this though. I have run into a situation where the server didn’t like the tip I left her and demanded more. I base the tip on the performance. Occasionally I may tip more because I feel sorry for the server.

Tips are overblown in the USA. In other countries the tips are nominal or not at all. They must be paying them well in other countries.

One kind of tipping bothers me though. If I buy a smoothie or a coffee at a counter, I see a tip jar. I see no reason to tip a person just for printing a bill/taking the credit card or cash. I never tip in these situations.

 

[El Rey]

And what about tipping for valet? Here in Houston valet is mostly complimentary, but tips are still expected. I don’t carry around a full size wallet anymore, so the amount of cash I carry around is small. I always feel awkward about that because most of the time I don’t plan when I go out to eat, so I don’t have always have cash and a lot of restaurants don’t have parking lots or force you to valet when I’m perfectly fine parking myself. Some places, mostly hotels, you can tip via a link but most don’t have that. Only time I don’t feel guilty is when my car is literally 10 feet away. At that point I’m just like give me my keys please.

 

[Sktwo]

I don’t know what the tipped minimum wage is in Illinois but I had a high school student doing yard work for me who also worked in a sit down/carry out restaurant who showed me his weekly pay stub of $0.00. After taxes and whatever, all he took home was his tips. And his employer was stealing half of those. The poor kid got very cynical, very fast.

 

[BittyBug]

And what about tipping for valet? Here in Houston valet is mostly complimentary, but tips are still expected. I don’t carry around a full size wallet anymore, so the amount of cash I carry around is small. I always feel awkward about that because most of the time I don’t plan when I go out to eat, so I don’t have always have cash and a lot of restaurants don’t have parking lots or force you to valet when I’m perfectly fine parking myself.

I usually keep a small amount of cash in my car for such purposes. I you have a valet key or setting, you can keep it in your locked glove box that the valet can't access. Otherwise, just take it with you and return it when you get your car so that it will be there for the next time.

 

[Vash01]

I rarely use a valet, but when I did, they charged money up front. So I didn’t tip.

I always tip for manicure (modest) and pedicure (larger amount due to the work involved).

When we had sky cabs at airports, I always used them to carry my bags (if I had heavy multiple bags) I always tipped them instead of renting a cart for $6-$7.

I always tip tour guides (we are required to; apparently that’s how they make their money).

I always tip guides for short tours too (anywhere from 2 hours to all day). While abroad, I carry with me their currency to be able to tip.

TBH I don’t like the ‘tipping culture’ in the USA. Employers should pay their employees well and take out the guessing game, and potential unfairness.

If there are no tips in Australia, I should live there.

In Europe and Asia I have seen some tips, but much smaller amounts, and not the big percentages expected in the USA.

I particularly resent tip jars near every counter.

 

[once_upon]

When I was first old enough to worry about tipping, the standard was 15% for good service. Then it was 18% and then 20%.

I remember my dad tipping 5% and that was pretty good in the mid 60's. Of course a fancy surf and turf meal at the nice restaurant in my hometown was ~$15-20. Those days, they only went out for their anniversary. Their mortgage payment was $100, so a $20 hit to the budget was big.

When we were dating or just married, early 70's, 10% was norm.

Now I generally tip 20% or sometimes 25%

Last trip to meet with @suep1963 and @purple skates, I just wanted a quiet corner near a plug in to charge my phone. I ordered a glass of wine, sat there for about 90 minutes. The waitress was running and being harassed by surly travelers. I gave her $40 tip. She started to cry and told me I just didn't know how much she really needed a kind person, the money was really going to help with groceries.

But in general a tip feels like it's expected. Which kind of negates what I feel a tip should be about.I'd rather the menu reflected the real price of the service or food.

This has to stop. These people need their base salary to be a reasonable amount instead of upping and upping the cost to the customers in a voluntary way which means not everyone pays it.

This

 

[tony]

But I want to know how we are going to account for ‘base salaries’ to work in a service industry setting that actually are fair across the board. The minimum wage in Florida is not even near enough to get a studio apartment in the Miami or Fort Lauderdale area. I see the latest reports for this region have a studio average at $2100-$2300 and a one bedroom up near the $2600-$2700 range, which are probably slightly down from the last few years.

Almost every last apartment building requires anywhere from 2.5 to 3x the rent in monthly salary. If you want a privately-owned unit, then it’s first last and security.

2.5x the rent for a one bedroom, and I just barely qualify as a nurse.

 

[Garden Kitty]

I thought of this thread when I was at the local deli today. I had ordered a sandwich and the guy was taking a moment to ring it up. The other check out guy said that he could ring it as the veggie special and the other guy said "I think if I ring up the individual ingredients it will be cheaper for her. The veggie special is pretty expensive." I usually leave a tip since it's a local place i go to regularly, but I left extra this time because the guy was going to extra effort to do something beneficial for me.