Gracie Gold's memoir published February 2024

[nlloyd]

I've had a hard time following women's skating for a while now. It's very clear that a specific body type was rewarded. Given what we already knew about eating disorders, this can only have gotten worse for skaters.

I don't understand how they can go back and see the likes of Tonya Harding and Midori Ito skate and still down mark skaters that don't fit the tiny waif model.

I agree, but I think there has been a slight improvement in the last couple of years, especially since the Russian skaters haven't been around. I think Kaori and Leona have much healthier body types.

I still think it is becoming ethically difficult to follow the sport. There is so much sexual, physical and verbal abuse and so little is being done about it. I hope this book has the impact Gracie, and many of us, are hoping for.

 

[PRlady]

I've had a hard time following women's skating for a while now. It's very clear that a specific body type was rewarded. Given what we already knew about eating disorders, this can only have gotten worse for skaters.

I don't understand how they can go back and see the likes of Tonya Harding and Midori Ito skate and still down mark skaters that don't fit the tiny waif model.

The only good thing is that with the starveling Russians gone, skaters like Kaori and Loena model a healthier, more muscular body type.

 

[Wyliefan]

I haven't read the book, so take this with a grain of salt. But from everything I've heard, it sounds like Gracie has hope that skating culture can change and she's interested in finding ways to make that happen. After all she's been through, that's rather remarkable.

Incidentally, yesterday she did an AMA at Reddit, and in answer to someone's question, she said she'd do it over again, except maybe not skate to Phantom. (Yes, I'm a Phantom defender, but that's still funny.)

 

[Prancer]

Does an actor/singer have to have intense and borderline abusive parents in order to eventually end up on Broadway?

Is there no other way to be a top level skater?

This makes me think of Brian Boitano, whose parents told him that if he wanted it, it was up to him to make it happen, because they really didn't want to be that involved in skating, or words to that effect.

So there is that. But he also said that he was essentially a man when he was 12 years old, making all his own travel arrangements and working things out with school and such. That's a lot for a 12-year-old.

I read the autobiography of a classical musician a while back; once his father (a musician himself) recognized his son's talent, the son's childhood became an endless cycle of recitals and lessons, lessons and recitals, and interactions with adults musicians who might help him play better. He was not allowed to play with other children or attend school; he practiced for hours every day. It sounds awful, but the musician now says that he is grateful to his father because what would he have without that childhood?

 

[LeafOnTheWind]

I haven't read the book, so take this with a grain of salt. But from everything I've heard, it sounds like Gracie has hope that skating culture can change and she's interested in finding ways to make tbat happen. After all she's been through, that's rather remarkable.

I agree. She spoke very positively about coaching in the Today Show interview. She said she devoted her life to skating and still loves it.

 

[overedge]

I've had a hard time following women's skating for a while now. It's very clear that a specific body type was rewarded. Given what we already knew about eating disorders, this can only have gotten worse for skaters.

Not just the body types. The sparkly princess image, with all the good-straight-girl baggage that goes along with it. Thank goodness for skaters like Kaori who have the determination to try something different than that. And doesn't it say something about accepted female images in skating that Kaori's programs stand out so much?

 

[Rukia]

The only good thing is that with the starveling Russians gone, skaters like Kaori and Loena model a healthier, more muscular body type.

On the other hand I did read something right after 4cc (not here) that said they could never like cpom because Christina Carreira was "big for an ice dancer" and multiple people agreed so there is still this pervasive idea that there is a certain look you need to have.

 

[overedge]

On the other hand I did read something right after 4cc (not here) that said they could never like cpom because Christina Carreira was "big for an ice dancer" and multiple people agreed so there is still this pervasive idea that there is a certain look you need to have.

Like the audience member who thought it was important to tell Kaitlyn Hawayek that she should lose a few pounds. It's not just the sport that's pushing these unrealistic expectations - it's some of the "fans" too.

 

[airgelaal]

On the other hand I did read something right after 4cc (not here) that said they could never like cpom because Christina Carreira was "big for an ice dancer" and multiple people agreed so there is still this pervasive idea that there is a certain look you need to have.

I read that Christina is too big for Anthony, who is also overweight

 

[Rukia]

I read that Christina is too big for Anthony, who is also overweight

lol well i give them credit for blaming the man too

 

[Sparks]

I wish I was "Christina overweight"

 

[coppertop1]

And Simon Reed saying Ashley Cain is "Taller and heavier" than most pairs skaters.

 

[overedge]

Here's a link to a transcript of Kaitlyn's IG post about the audience member who criticized her weight. I misremembered that this person said Kaitlyn should lose a few pounds - they said that she "need[ed] to lose a lot of weight"

Kaitlin Hawayek: “Fan whispered in my ear ‘I have a secret to tell you my dear, you need to lose a lot of weight.’ As a spectator, a fan of the sport, a coach, a judge, or even a bystander that has no personal relation to the sport, it’s never your p

Kaitlin Hawayek shared quite personal story of a fan who suggested her losing weight and spoke about the impact such words can have for an athlete, especially young one.

fs-gossips.com

 

[Vagabond]

Does anyone know what happened to Restencourt? He seems to have vanished into thin air according to her book.

Patinage artistique. Après 12 ans aux USA, l’entraîneur Vincent Restencourt s’installe à Besançon

Après douze ans passés aux États-Unis comme coach, l’ancien champion Vincent Restencourt est de retour en France. Et c’est à Besançon, avec le ...

www.estrepublicain.fr

He works as a coach in Besançon, which may or may not be the same thing as vanishing into thin air.

 

[MsZem]

And Simon Reed saying Ashley Cain is "Taller and heavier" than most pairs skaters.

She is taller than most pairs skaters. But commenting on her weight/body is gross - what a surprise that it was Simon Reed...

Good for Gracie for feeling comfortable enough to share her experiences.

 

[Hedwig]

Patinage artistique. Après 12 ans aux USA, l’entraîneur Vincent Restencourt s’installe à Besançon

Après douze ans passés aux États-Unis comme coach, l’ancien champion Vincent Restencourt est de retour en France. Et c’est à Besançon, avec le ...

www.estrepublicain.fr

He works as a coach in Besançon, which may or may not be the same thing as vanishing into thin air.

Very weird. I did not find him in a quick search and her account how he left from one day to the next was very weird. Especially seeing how fondly she described him and how supportive he was. I hope she can get some closure there at one point in time.

 

[Allskate]

Yes, when I get the book, this will be the one part for me that will be interesting to digest because he was Ashley Wagner’s attacker. The top two women at that time have both been assaulted, she seems to have had a good relationship with him. Yet all I keep thinking about at the moment is that he was the one who assaulted Ashley.

I haven't read the book yet. But, I seem to recall that it was Ashley who was very concerned about Gracie's mental health and went to either Gracie or skating officials to try to get her help.

There are more and more athletes, including skaters, speaking out about mental health, which I think is good for the younger skaters.

Unfortunately, I don't think it's just the girls and women who have mental health issues in the sport and are in abusive situations. And they definitely are not the only ones to face homophobia.

 

[Habs]

I know a former elite level skater who was super talented, extremely fit and quite thin, and beautiful. But the talk around her was most often "lose this much weight," or "don't colour your hair" (or sometimes, "colour your hair"), "don't get a tattoo that can be seen," etc. The focus on her appearance by coaches, judges, etc. vastly outweighed the comments about what she was capable of doing on the ice.

 

[Trillian]

Because I am LGBT I will be interested to see what she shares about her discovering she is also LGBT. That part for me was surprising as well.

I’m only about 3/4 of the way the book, so maybe it’s discussed further later on, but that was a weird chapter for me as someone who identifies the same way Gracie does. I’m happy she came out because I think representation is important, but it also felt like … one of the most ghostwritten chapters? “It’s not a big deal and here’s a list of every other elite female skater I know about who’s come out, and let’s not dive too deep into the implications of the fact that we can still count them all on one hand.” It didn’t feel like we got a ton of insight into her thoughts and feelings in terms of that part of her life experience, especially relative to how much she opened up on other topics. But again … I’m still glad it’s there.

The Coughlin chapter wrecked me. I thought it was an incredible dive into what it means to love someone you know might be deeply flawed, and grapple with the fact that someone who’s been an enormously positive force in your own life might also have done a lot of harm to others. That’s a really tricky line to walk and clearly she’s still working through things, but it was handled extremely well IMO.

 

[Sylvia]

In Chapter 14 ("Nuclear Meltdown"), Gracie credits 3 people at 2017 Champs Camp for understanding what she was going through and starting the process of actually doing something to help her - sports dietician/high performance director Susie [Parker-Simmons] and a doctor affiliated with USFS (Jen) encouraged her to talk about her ongoing trauma in the OTC kitchen; Jen reached out to strength & conditioning coach Brandon [Siakel] who researched treatment & recovery centers for her.

Gracie's conversation yesterday on the "This Week in Skating" podcast is worth listening to, IMO:

This Week in Skating Podcast

Listen to This Week in Skating Podcast on RedCircle

redcircle.com

ETA - in case the Feb. 4th Wall Street Journal article was not linked on FSU, the journalist provided a free link to read it in its entirety here: https://twitter.com/louiseradnofsky/status/1754155128326894050
Just saw @Gris posted the article link several days ago in this thread: https://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/th...nsions-in-skating.105778/page-48#post-6552136

 

[MacMadame]

Does an actor/singer have to have intense and borderline abusive parents in order to eventually end up on Broadway?

They do if they are a child actor. At least it seems that way from all the child actors who speak out about how they were treated as a child once they reach adulthood and the ones we know who became addicts and/or have mental health issues.

b) Mr Solovyov is unrelated to the Athlete.

I thought he was her grandfather? Confused.

This makes me think of Brian Boitano, whose parents told him that if he wanted it, it was up to him to make it happen, because they really didn't want to be that involved in skating, or words to that effect.

This was my position. I was not willing to abandon my life to devote myself 100% to a dream of one (and only one) of my children, especially when it was a dream to be in a profession that chews up women/girls and spits them out.

So there is that. But he also said that he was essentially a man when he was 12 years old, making all his own travel arrangements and working things out with school and such. That's a lot for a 12-year-old.

Okay, I would have helped with that. I would do that for any 12-year-old I was responsible for.

 

[caseyedwards]

Does an actor/singer have to have intense and borderline abusive parents in order to eventually end up on Broadway?

Is there no other way to be a top level skater? I read Nathan Chen's memoir, and it made me very sad. He's an Olympic champion, but I would not subject my kid to what his family did even if my kid were guaranteed an Olympic gold medal.

I'm going to buy Gracie's book to support her, but I might wait to read it until I think I'm in the right frame of mind.

If a kid displays great talent in any field you will hear of majorly abusive parents! There are lots of examples of kids being abused in
tV
Stage
Music
Movies
Chess
But so much of figure skating involves careers being over by 20 to 25. It’s not a lifelong career unless you are champion when young! Show me a successful show skater who got a break at 30. So you must push the kids. There’s no wait til after college!

 

[Allskate]

This is a NYT article I remember reading about Gracie, including what happened at a couple of Champs Camps. It's a shame that she was so reluctant to get help until she hit such a rock bottom, but I think that's not uncommon for driven perfectionists:

Gracie Gold’s Battle for Olympic Glory Ended in a Fight to Save Herself (Published 2019)

Gold appeared to be a gold medal favorite in figure skating for the 2018 Winter Games. Then her mental health unraveled, and a cry for help became her boldest move.

www.nytimes.com

 

[moonvine]

I know a former elite level skater who was super talented, extremely fit and quite thin, and beautiful. But the talk around her was most often "lose this much weight," or "don't colour your hair" (or sometimes, "colour your hair"), "don't get a tattoo that can be seen," etc. The focus on her appearance by coaches, judges, etc. vastly outweighed the comments about what she was capable of doing on the ice.

There are so many other sports women can do and not have to go through all this. And people wonder why there isn't a huge talent pool of US women skaters anymore. I often don't even watch the women unless Gracie is competing.

 

[moonvine]

Susan Liss, I do believe.

And why didn't she name her when she named all the other coaches???

 

[moonvine]

I agree, but I think there has been a slight improvement in the last couple of years, especially since the Russian skaters haven't been around. I think Kaori and Leona have much healthier body types.

I still think it is becoming ethically difficult to follow the sport. There is so much sexual, physical and verbal abuse and so little is being done about it. I hope this book has the impact Gracie, and many of us, are hoping for.

But the Russians will be back at some point in time, even though I'm enjoying skating much more without them.

I hope the book has that impact also. But Little Girls In Pretty Boxes didn't seem to, even though it was certainly shocking at the time.

 

[moonvine]

I haven't read the book, so take this with a grain of salt. But from everything I've heard, it sounds like Gracie has hope that skating culture can change and she's interested in finding ways to make that happen. After all she's been through, that's rather remarkable.

Incidentally, yesterday she did an AMA at Reddit, and in answer to someone's question, she said she'd do it over again, except maybe not skate to Phantom. (Yes, I'm a Phantom defender, but that's still funny.)

She said the hardest thing about writing the book was that she wanted people to NOT hate skating after having read it.

 

[Allskate]

I am not surprised to see that Amber Glenn has posted a very supportive IG Story about Gracie and her book:

Login • Instagram

Welcome back to Instagram. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world.

www.instagram.com

 

[MacMadame]

There are so many other sports women can do and not have to go through all this. And people wonder why there isn't a huge talent pool of US women skaters anymore. I often don't even watch the women unless Gracie is competing.

There was a young woman at a rink I skated at who was an amazing ice dancer but was not conventionally pretty. She glowed when she skated and was so good. But she could not find a partner even one with a skill level far below her. So her parents steered her towards another sport that she also enjoyed that wasn't as obsessed with outward appearances.

I can totally see many parents steering their kids out of skating and into hockey or softball or football (soccer) as all sports where women are succeeding and even offer some athletic scholarships.

 

[NinjaTurtles]

In Chapter 14 ("Nuclear Meltdown"), Gracie credits 3 people at 2017 Champs Camp for understanding what she was going through and starting the process of actually doing something to help her - sports dietician/high performance director Susie [Parker-Simmons] and a doctor affiliated with USFS (Jen) encouraged her to talk about her ongoing trauma in the OTC kitchen; Jen reached out to strength & conditioning coach Brandon [Siakel] who researched treatment & recovery centers for her.

Gracie's conversation yesterday on the "This Week in Skating" podcast is worth listening to, IMO:

This Week in Skating Podcast

Listen to This Week in Skating Podcast on RedCircle

redcircle.com

ETA - in case the Feb. 4th Wall Street Journal article was not linked on FSU, the journalist provided a free link to read it in its entirety here: https://twitter.com/louiseradnofsky/status/1754155128326894050

What's interesting is I believe its been said in different venues that Ashley Wagner was the one to first push Susie Parker-Simmons to do something, it's not clear that they would have intervened directly to Gracie immediately at that moment of it it would have taken longer otherwise. Probably a culmination of things at any rate given the picture Gracie paints of that Champs Camp.

Gracie tweeting the moonface meme is my Roman Empire, I'm glad it got a mention in the book.