SafeSport investigating Peter Oppegard

[Vagabond]

Yes, but we have to remember that we are trained as children to excuse verbal abuse. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

What is emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health.

Most children understand what bullying is even if they don't attach the word "abuse" to the behavior.

I was abused by my brothers when I was five. They didn't hurt me physically, but I have borne the psychological scars all my life. Although I did not put the label on the behavior until I was well into middle age, I always knew that what they did to me was wrong.

 

[Prancer]

In addition to the reasons you mentioned, I think emotional abuse has often not even been considered abuse (and still isn't by many). It's considered "tough coaching", what it takes to get ahead, and any other number of euphemisms. People think if you can't handle it, you aren't tough enough to survive in the sport. It takes a long time to change that attitude and I think we still have a long way to go. Plenty of parents still want their daughters coached by Maggie Haney even after they know how she treated Laurie Hernandez.

I don't really follow gymnastics, so I read this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/30/sports/olympics/gymnastics-abuse-laurie-hernandez-haney.html

A couple of things I found interesting:

Henry Rivera, an engineer at a software company, moved his 12-year-old daughter to MG Elite last year so she could train with Haney. He said she had left her previous gym because her routines were getting sloppy and the coach there was pushing her to perform skills she didn’t feel prepared to do.

Rivera said he appreciated that Haney had made the gym a safe space for his daughter, yet never babied her.

“If I wanted her to come home happy and smiling every day, I’d send her to clown school; I’m serious,” Rivera said.

Another parent at the gym, Charisse Dash, is a sports agent who recruits athletes from the Dominican Republic to play in Major League Baseball. Her 10-year-old daughter has worked with Haney since she was 6.

“You’re not there to play, you’re there to work,” Dash said, describing that type of gymnastics as “a 9-to-5 job.”
She added: “Do I classify the rigor of the training as abuse? I think you really have to see it on a case-by-case basis.”
Dash said she and her husband ran “a very tight ship” at home with their five children, where screaming, not coddling, was common. So, to them, Haney’s demanding style was a great fit.

“I don’t think it’s fair to say that Maggie is an abuser, by all means,” Dash said. “It depends on how much any child or any person can tolerate.”

I think one thing that a lot of elite athletes have in common is driven parents who believe that success comes from pushing hard. They push their kids and they expect other people to push their kids. I think this is particularly true of self-made types--if you are a person who came from, say, a working class background and you made it, so to speak, you tend to be very driven and to see that kind of drive as not only normal but necessary. The mother above, for example, see screaming at her kids as common because that's what she sees as a tight ship. I'll bet she pushes herself hard every day.

As a young gymnast herself, training in an elite program for a while, Haney worked with harsh coaches who screamed at the girls, she recalled, and had them step onto a scale daily, then listed everyone’s weight on a bulletin board in the gym. To make the girls lose weight, the coaches forced them to wear rubber suits or 20-pound belts and jog around the gym, she said.

“It didn’t faze me and didn’t bother me, but that kid next to me, it could’ve really bothered and scared them,” she said,

Two things here--I do think that this a major issue with a lot of coaches. You can only teach what you know and what a lot of elite athletes know is "being tough."

I also think that throughout this article, there is an underlying thread from both Maggie Haney and the parents who were quoted that the problem is the athletes are too sensitive. I think that's a very common view as well. To a certain degree, I can see how those attitudes develop--you aren't going to succeed in an elite competitive environment without developing a pretty thick skin. You do have to have high standards and expectations for elite competitors. You do need to push.

Education helps, but I think people vastly overestimate the effect of education. It can only change things if the student is willing to learn and change. The culture is what has to change and that's a huge ask.

And one last thing--yes, I did read some other articles and yes, I am aware that some of Haney's claims in this article are disputed.

 

[overedge]

The parent in the story @Prancer quoted above, whose job is recruiting players from the Dominican Republic for Major League Baseball - MLB is another sport organization that is going to have a huge reckoning one day, in terms of non-US recruits being abused and unsupported. I'm appalled at the multiple overlaps of abusive behaviour in this story.

 

[Yuri]

@misskarne didn't say that the Oppegard relations had anything to do with sexual assault. She said that Christine Brennan speaks out against sexual abuse. And so she has -- on other occasions.

Take a good long look at yourself. Calling anyone "Missy" who isn't named Missy reeks of sexism, condescension, and privilege.

Lighten up. Her screen name IS misskarne. No way I would have posted that if "miss" wasn't part of her screen name.

But...she took the same innuendo cheap shot at me not just once, but twice, immediately after my posts about Ms. Brennan. On a topic that had nothing to do with sexual abuse of students. If you are going to go the character assassination route with me with her posts' implications, please don't expect a sweet response. Typical Saul Alinsky-style cancel culture, personalize the attacks rather than address the merits of the subject at hand and debate Ms. Brennan's reporting style. If you really think she's overcome her past tabloid reporting behavior that earned her a ban by US Figure Skating years ago, then let's discuss that. And no one has answered my inquiries as to why this hasn't remained a confidential SafeSport matter and why we're now in trial-by-social media mode. I wasn't challenging Ms. Brennan's veracity, but why she's the only reporter that I've seen who has outed the situation.

 

[MacMadame]

I'm thinking after reading all this that maybe this biting, jerking people around and getting aggravated easily that may have originated when he was a child.

I think it's much more likely that he's mentally ill. (My non-expert first thought when I heard he'd bit someone out of the blue was that he was bi-polar.)

Also, he seems to have a problem dealing constructively with angry feelings more than that he wants attention. So that part probably started in childhood. But it has a different cause.

I think this is particularly true of self-made types--if you are a person who came from, say, a working class background and you made it, so to speak, you tend to be very driven and to see that kind of drive as not only normal but necessary.

There might be some data on this but my experience is that self-made types take all forms depending on their personality and that being driven for yourself doesn't necessarily lead to any particular parenting style either.

I do agree that some people think you have to yell and scream at people to motivate them and you have to drive athletes hard if they are going to reach an elite level and don't see this kind of behavior as abuse. That said, people did think Oppegard's behavior rose to the level of abuse. They just didn't know what to do about it.

That speaks to a number of failures in our system for dealing with abuse. One of which is a MYOB attitude to how kids are raised and another is not trusting the systems in place to deal with actual abuse.

 

[hanca]

I'm thinking after reading all this that maybe this biting, jerking people around and getting aggravated easily that may have originated when he was a child. Maybe his parents didn't get him the help he needed as a child. The worst thing there could possibly be is that they allowed him to do it. Children bite, but a grownup actually biting someone???? Abuse is abuse and purposely biting someone even if it's because there's frustration is just plain scary.

But it doesn’t really matter when it originated. There is plenty of behaviour children may get away with, and as the children are growing up, at some stage they learn that that particular behaviour is not tolerated. As an adult he would have known it was not appropriate. If he can control himself, then it is clearly his fault that he didn’t do anything to stop himself. And if he genuinely can’t control his impulses, then it is still his responsibility to seek professional help, which he clearly didn’t (if he did, he wouldn’t be going around biting people). So na matter how we look at it - it may not be his fault how he turned out, maybe his upbringing could be blamed for that, but it is his problem and his responsibility to sort it. So that means the incident was his fault because he didn’t sort it.

 

[Vagabond]

But...she took the same innuendo cheap shot at me not just once, but twice, immediately after my posts about Ms. Brennan.

Most people grow out of the "But she started it" schtick.

 

[overedge]

If you are going to go the character assassination route with me with her posts' implications, please don't expect a sweet response. Typical Saul Alinsky-style cancel culture, personalize the attacks rather than address the merits of the subject at hand and debate Ms. Brennan's reporting style.

This has nothing to do with "cancel culture", which isn't even a thing. You posted your views and you were criticized for them. No one is demanding that you be banned from FSU or that your posts be deleted. But if you post comments that aren't factual, you're going to get a response.

If you really think she's overcome her past tabloid reporting behavior that earned her a ban by US Figure Skating years ago, then let's discuss that. And no one has answered my inquiries as to why this hasn't remained a confidential SafeSport matter and why we're now in trial-by-social media mode. I wasn't challenging Ms. Brennan's veracity, but why she's the only reporter that I've seen who has outed the situation.

The complaint that was made to SafeSport is confidential. There is no public information about who filed the complaint or what the specifics are, just that there was a complaint, and that Pfund was not the person who made it. Pfund was interviewed as part of the investigation of the complaint. Brennan is reporting on the interview that Pfund had with the investigator, and Pfund is free to speak about her own experiences with Oppegard.

And for someone who has been around skating for as long as you claim to have been, you should know how much coverage figure skating gets in the US media, outside of Worlds (maybe), Olympics or Nationals. Brennan is pretty much the only newspaper reporter who pays attention to skating on a regular basis. You complain about how you're the victim of innuendo and smears, but you're doing the same thing to Brennan by making baseless accusations about her integrity and her reasons for covering this story.

 

[misskarne]

But...she took the same innuendo cheap shot at me not just once, but twice, immediately after my posts about Ms. Brennan. On a topic that had nothing to do with sexual abuse of students. If you are going to go the character assassination route with me with her posts' implications, please don't expect a sweet response. Typical Saul Alinsky-style cancel culture, personalize the attacks rather than address the merits of the subject at hand and debate Ms. Brennan's reporting style. If you really think she's overcome her past tabloid reporting behavior that earned her a ban by US Figure Skating years ago, then let's discuss that. And no one has answered my inquiries as to why this hasn't remained a confidential SafeSport matter and why we're now in trial-by-social media mode. I wasn't challenging Ms. Brennan's veracity, but why she's the only reporter that I've seen who has outed the situation.

Every time Brennan publishes one of her valuable stories on abuse in figure skating - not just sexual abuse, but abuse - we see the same response. Certain types of people rush into the threads - on this forum and the other - to attempt to discredit Brennan and distract from the story she is telling.

And without fail on both forums, those who rush in to discredit end up being abuse apologists, or downplayers, or victim blamers.

Brennan is doing valuable work that no-one else is doing, and yes, it will be uncomfortable for a while. But to suggest she should not be permitted to do it, that she should be banned, that it is wrong she is doing it, is telling us who you really are in the dark.

As to why this hasn't remained quiet - when has SafeSport ever managed to competently produce an outcome behind closed doors?

 

[tony]

I think many notable skating journalists, whether having been around forever or just within the last few years, undergo a ton of judgment and 'this is their ulterior motive' every time they say/write anything. I get that Christine has been in trouble before for sensationalism and going behind peoples' backs, I get that Dave Lease is generally annoying as hell, I get that Phil Hersh has written some nasty articles about his disdain for the state of American skating, for example, but it's like some people don't want any news at all.

Who would you prefer to be the one breaking these stories and/or doing the extra research and using their resources to potentially get more info that helps bring details to light?

 

[BittyBug]

And no one has answered my inquiries as to why this hasn't remained a confidential SafeSport matter and why we're now in trial-by-social media mode. I wasn't challenging Ms. Brennan's veracity, but why she's the only reporter that I've seen who has outed the situation.

People often ask the same question when news about confidential grand jury investigations is reported, which seems to assume that someone bound to confidence leaked the information. But there is no gag on anyone who is interviewed. To wit, Jessia Pfund went public with her own experience and it is entirely within her rights to do so.

It's quite possible that Brennan heard from victims who are aware of the case because they were interviewed. Having this matter in the news does not necessarily mean that anyone within SafeSport violated their confidentiality obligations.

 

[meggonzo]

Who would you prefer to be the one breaking these stories and/or doing the extra research and using their resources to potentially get more info that helps bring details to light?

I'm guessing Yuri would prefer that these stories aren't reported at all.

 

[Sparks]

Because reporting about abuse is worse than actual abuse.

 

[Carolla5501]

As usual the people who want us to not focus on the issue at hand are going well it’s got to be Mom’s fault. Since unless you possess great mind reading skills you don’t know what the parents did when they found this out maybe you should quit blaming them for doing the wrong thing.

The truth is, the only person who should be facing problems here is the coach. Quit blaming the skaters, quit blaming the parents quit blaming everybody else. It just distracts attention from the real problem

The only other organization that might need to share some of the blame is US figure skating who will do absolutely nothing. Peter will be at nationals next year because safe sport moves slower than molasses and USFS has no Idea what they should really do.


And if your reaction to the story is to blame the person who published it You need to look in the mirror and realize that you have a problem. And the nice thing is the rest of us have a solution. Anyone who says it wrong to publish this just need to go on your ignore list. You never need to see the people who are defending the molester by blaming the reporter

 

[Vagabond]

quit blaming the parents quit blaming everybody else. It just distracts attention from the real problem

Abusers go on doing what they do because "everybody else" allows it to happen. Let's not blame the victims, but let's blame the parents who keep sending their children to abusive coaches. Let's blame those coaches who cracked jokes about Peter Oppegard. Let's blame the rinks that permit known abusers to skate there. Let's blame other skaters who pressure victims to accept things as they are. And, above all, let's blame the abusers.

 

[olympic]

Is anyone still stuck on the fact that he as an adult BIT a student? I mean WTH. In practice, I try to understand what leads to given situations in order to develop an understanding and I can't make sense of this.

BTW, I always like Burt Lancon better. Sixth in Sarajevo at their first big competition together, he and Jill could've still been Olympic medalists sans abuse

 

[Prancer]

Abusers go on doing what they do because "everybody else" allows it to happen. Let's not blame the victims, but let's blame the parents who keep sending their children to abusive coaches. Let's blame those coaches who cracked jokes about Peter Oppegard. Let's blame the rinks that permit known abusers to skate there. Let's blame other skaters who pressure victims to accept things as they are. And, above all, let's blame the abusers.

The abusers are always the most to blame.

But they aren't the only ones to blame. They do not exist in a vacuum.

 

[Willin]

Two things here--I do think that this a major issue with a lot of coaches. You can only teach what you know and what a lot of elite athletes know is "being tough."

I also think that throughout this article, there is an underlying thread from both Maggie Haney and the parents who were quoted that the problem is the athletes are too sensitive. I think that's a very common view as well. To a certain degree, I can see how those attitudes develop--you aren't going to succeed in an elite competitive environment without developing a pretty thick skin. You do have to have high standards and expectations for elite competitors. You do need to push.

Education helps, but I think people vastly overestimate the effect of education. It can only change things if the student is willing to learn and change. The culture is what has to change and that's a huge ask.

And one last thing--yes, I did read some other articles and yes, I am aware that some of Haney's claims in this article are disputed.

I'd also add to this to say that a lot of parents and athletes consider tougher and borderline coaches better - and some parents seek these coaches out. This is obviously not true - TCC coaches are nice and produce great skaters - but it's the influential stereotype for whatever reason.

While you could say Kori Ade was "too nice" in letting her skaters do doubles at summer comps and that affected their consistency, she did produce skaters with great skating skills, amazing performance ability, and solid jumps. When she ran 7k, her skaters routinely made nationals. The most fascinating thing was people pretty much everywhere criticized her for being "too nice" or too focused on the emotional well being of her skaters. She even said some parents left her because of her focus on a good training environment over pushing skaters to their limit. Why is being a supportive coach a bad thing?

Abusers go on doing what they do because "everybody else" allows it to happen. Let's not blame the victims, but let's blame the parents who keep sending their children to abusive coaches. Let's blame those coaches who cracked jokes about Peter Oppegard. Let's blame the rinks that permit known abusers to skate there. Let's blame other skaters who pressure victims to accept things as they are. And, above all, let's blame the abusers.

Yes, abusers are definitely to blame, but this part cannot go unsaid.

There's a couple bad apples in my work environment who no one has reported before because, like in skating, the victims and witnesses didn't think there'd be any punishment or change and/or were afraid of retaliation. When I reported them everyone but the boss knew what was happening, and she was shocked to hear what was going on and is trying to fix it. Now, USFS definitely knows and does nothing, but I think we could safely say an independent authority with power to do something like SafeSport or the Police have no clue until someone reports. I think we should make that reporting easier and with more protection for reporters.

 

[Foolhardy Ham Lint]

This thread makes me miss the likes of Linda Leaver where she imparted a philosophy that more than results and medals, skating was about the process.

Readings books like LITTLE GIRLS IN PRETTY BOXES and the like, with so much money, time and effort invested in the sport, makes it clear to understand why some parents go a little crazy in the pursuit of the children's Olympic dreams.

It is easy to see why a bad day at the office is sometimes glossed over or ignored, when fame and fortune are on the line.

Not that I am implying that has happened in any way, shape or form in Oppegard's case. But when a skater you have tracked is alleged to no longer be role model material, makes following the sport all that more difficult.

 

[Aceon6]

It is easy to see why a bad day at the office is sometimes glossed over or ignored, when fame and fortune are on the line.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. It’s a fairly recent development to question authority figures. For the most of my life, the person in power was ALWAYS right, even if they were totally wrong. Giving any push back was an invitation to worse treatment and social isolation. When an authority figure crossed the line, other adults were very quick to assume that the abused person had done something to deserve it. Oppegard is a late-Boomer. That’s probably how he grew up.

IME, it wasn’t until the Clarence Thomas hearings in 1991 where it became a real conversation about what is and isn’t ok and society has been stumbling around it ever since.

 

[thvu]

As usual the people who want us to not focus on the issue at hand are going well it’s got to be Mom’s fault. Since unless you possess great mind reading skills you don’t know what the parents did when they found this out maybe you should quit blaming them for doing the wrong thing.

The truth is, the only person who should be facing problems here is the coach. Quit blaming the skaters, quit blaming the parents quit blaming everybody else. It just distracts attention from the real problem

A real problem is that systems in place protect abusers. Parents are part of that system. This cannot be ignored.
Your argument is basically this, “parents could have a good reason for allowing their children to be in abusive situations.” It’s wrong and ridiculous on the surface. You are excusing negligence and complicity.
I know this isn’t your intention, but in trying to belittle these conversations and concerns, you are helping create an environment that enables abuse.

 

[Frau Muller]

We’re talking about incidents that allegedly happened at the Kwan family rink, right? It’s incredible that this was allowed to happen here, of all places, although it would be awful anywhere. Family reputation and all that. Oppegard is brother-in-law (or former b-i-l) of The Kween.

 

[Aceon6]

We’re talking about incidents that allegedly happened at the Kwan family rink, right? It’s incredible that this was allowed to happen here, of all places, although it would be awful anywhere. Family reputation and all that. Oppegard is brother-in-law (or former b-i-l) of The Kween.

”Tough coaching is good coaching“ was the norm. I’d expect Danny to subscribe and only interfere on behalf of his own kids.

 

[layman]

Predictably, every time abuse allegations are made public, those reporting, parents, the victims (that is everyone but the perpetrators) are questioned, attacked, torn apart and discredited. This says something very damning about the culture of the sport.

 

[caseyedwards]

Well the skater who didn’t report because it might embarrass michelle kwan is really something to talk about

 

[skategal]

IME, it wasn’t until the Clarence Thomas hearings in 1991 where it became a real conversation about what is and isn’t ok and society has been stumbling around it ever since.

The Catholic church abuse scandal changed things alot in Canada.

Having a front row seat to that issue where we grew up put a lot of things in perspective in my and DH's mind.

We put up with very little from adults towards DS and I think this is probably why.

 

[Yuri]

Nothing new in these two articles, just regurgitating the original USA Today story. So this passes as modern journalism?

Olympic coach allegedly bit figure skater, threw hot liquids at others

A prominent Olympic figure skating coach has been accused of physically abusing skaters — including biting a female student during a training session eight years ago, according to a report. P…

nypost.com

Olympic figure skating medalist, coach Peter Oppegard under investigation for allegedly abusing skaters

He allegedly bit and thew hot beverages on skaters

www.cbssports.com

A short excerpt from the original USA Today story:

"Pairs skater Jessica Pfund told USA TODAY Sports in a phone interview Tuesday evening that Oppegard bit her after becoming furious with her during a practice session in 2013, when she was 15.

“He was helping to position me on the ice to show me a landing position on a jump. Both of his hands were holding me, and he leaned over and bit me on the skin on my upper right arm, near the bicep,” Pfund said."

I absolutely agree with those who say there's a huge difference between putting your name out there on the record and hiding behind the shield of anonymity, like those alleging the throwing of coffee and hot water. It would have been nice to know exactly why Oppegard became furious at Jessica, to better understand the context (e.g., did she do something to endanger him or her own safety while working on the throw-jump landing that could have caused an inadvertent injury to one of them with a fall?). It would also be nice to know if there were any apologies after the heat of the moment.

Not saying that happened here, but most pairs elements are extremely dangerous especially in the learning phase--as are high-level lifts in ice dancing--and I have witnessed partners screaming at each other if one causes a painful fall from carelessness. Coaches teaching on ice can be placed in the same position of potential injury if a student missteps, but clearly must have a higher standard of behavior than a partner (but not excusing actual partner abuse). But if there was no imminent threat of a severe skating injury while practicing the move, then I am completely puzzled how anyone could bite someone--a behavior normally only seen in animals as a defense mechanism when they are in danger of physical harm from an attacker.

People often ask the same question when news about confidential grand jury investigations is reported, which seems to assume that someone bound to confidence leaked the information. But there is no gag on anyone who is interviewed. To wit, Jessia Pfund went public with her own experience and it is entirely within her rights to do so.

It's quite possible that Brennan heard from victims who are aware of the case because they were interviewed. Having this matter in the news does not necessarily mean that anyone within SafeSport violated their confidentiality obligations.

I cannot disagree with any of this, plus it's not possible to determine at this point whether anyone at SafeSport violated any confidentiality agreements. Of course victims are free to contact investigative reporters on their own, although that doesn't explain how Ms. Brennan obtained the emails of the investigation or even how Ms. Pfund's name came to her attention as a potential victim. When I worked for the federal government, the investigations arm of our enforcement division of my agency took confidentiality very seriously subject to severe penalties for violations--staff who leaked information were subject to immediate termination and such behavior could be a career-ending move, as it's completely unfair to individuals or corporations to have such an investigation become public before the agency reaches a final conclusion. Many investigations in my agency ultimately were dismissed as sometimes they were triggered by competitors to those under investigation and without merit, or the complainant didn't understand that the alleged behavior (usually involving market competition) was legal in the end.

 

[Aceon6]

@Yuri Given the number of people who are upset with the SafeSport process, I’d be absolutely shocked if info DOESN’T leak out. It’s impossible to put an entire sport under a gag order.

 

[meggonzo]

It would have been nice to know exactly why Oppegard became furious at Jessica, to better understand the context (e.g., did she do something to endanger him or her own safety while working on the throw-jump landing that could have caused an inadvertent injury to one of them with a fall?). It would also be nice to know if there were any apologies after the heat of the moment.

But if there was no imminent threat of a severe skating injury while practicing the move, then I am completely puzzled how anyone could bite someone--a behavior normally only seen in animals as a defense mechanism when they are in danger of physical harm from an attacker.

So are you saying that if there was the threat of injury, then it was ok for him to bite her? WTF.

Also, since you are complaining and linking to multiple articles with the same information, she stated she didn't want her mom to bring up the biting incident since whenever something was brought up, then the lessons and criticism got worse. But sure, try to blame a 15 year old.

 

[bladesofgorey]

@Yuri wow I am just shocked a former USFSA official is going above and beyond to try and make a child responsible for their own abuse at the hands of a coach. Just shocked. (Not even a little tho).